i just read my welcome note and tiying to reply not sure i am in the right area. after working on my own hoarding problem for a long time i think a support group is a great idea. my son has become a animal horder, he lives with me all we do is argue over the fact we have so many animals here. i have two dogs which stay in my room with me one is a service dog he is my project i reued him from red tag. gressive he is to me he is not and he hates my son to boot. i hae had many animals in my life. but i limit them to two and i do not want any more problems, my house smells more like a kennel not being cleaned. my carpets are so moldy it not funny i just got over a bout with food poisioning and sinus problem just for it to return a day or so later, i can not seem to explain to my son that being in a house that is so filthy is my problem. as like just now he just stomp out not wanting to bring on my temper. yes i have a big temper. i invited him here to help him however i think i have enabled him to disrepect me. after my big injuries i needed help to clean and fix meals. he refuses to leave and find his own house to dystroy. my doctor recomended that i see a therapist on my anger problem i have no way to get there at this time my driving is resrticked to posible one mi per day, which means i can go to the store for groceries. i have seizers now. i do hope to be able to communicate or at least vent a bit at times as for help all is welcome. i started a new church this month to get myself out of the ouse from time to time.
thank you all for listening to my rants.
gaby

Thanks Shannon! :)

may may im very proud of the progress you have made you should be proud as well

Hey Shannon. :) things are going good. :) I'm still going to therapy and I have stopped cutting myself.

hi maymay just checking in with you to see how things are going..

Thanks Shannon.:)

may may i am so proud of you!!! and that your making a very positive change in your life kudos too you :) keep it up things will start to fall into place for you best of luck and i will check in with you soon..

Hey Shannon.:) I'm doing good. Yeah so far therapy is going good. I like being able to talk about my problems, because before therapy I never really talked about my problems with anyone. So I think therapy is helping a lot.

i hope all is well with you may may i hope therapy is going good for you just stopped by to check in on your progress:)

Thanks Shannon.:)

well im glad your getting therapy as i used to get mad at myself and others when i was younger and i used to burn myself with cigarettes. so i sorta know what your going thru and let me tell you therapy does help..we cant fight all our demons alone..i think you were investing a lot in friends problems tryn not to think about your own inner demons as they can become very serious..i hope therapy does help and you stop cutting..as for your friend let her sit and ponder its not your fault its great your so close to her family shows you really care and hopefully your friend will see that and come around.. sending healing prayers your way may may chin up ;)

Hi Catherine, sorry to hear about your dog bite, that sounds awful. How'd it happen? Great job on getting rid of all of your stuff that you don't need.:) I hope you won't have to surrender your dog. I'm sending my prayers your way as well.:) I'm starting to feel better. My friend is still not talking to me. I don't think she even wants to try to understand the situation. I'm still really close with her family though. Her younger sister is getting ready to start high school, she is going to go to the same high school that me and my friend went to. And I told her that I would take her to the freshmen orientation. And show her around the school and maybe introduce her to some of the teachers there. I'm still saving up my money so that I can move to New York City. It will probably be a while before I actually move there though. Plus I'm getting ready to start therapy for my own issues; I have a lot, so I'm kind of nervous about it. But it was my decision to go. When I told my parents that I want to go to therapy they practically attacked me in hugs. Lol. They've been wanting me to go to therapy ever since they found out that I like to cut myself.

Well May May , how are you doing? Moving ahead with plans to move? Is your fried talking to you? Does she even admit to understnaing (that is a far cry from liking it)

Thinkoing well of yuou and send ing parayers your way. typing pppr. jave dpg bites and stitches in hands - who knew i used my right hand so much.

sprted craft supplies today, disposed of 2 5 gallon bags of stuff i'll never use, scraps too small to matter, ugly stuff, and the stuff covered in dog fur. Bleh. Got fresh fruit and am truyojg tp eat better. Still not smoking at all.

Not sure if i'll be on tomorrow. If i have to surrentder dog because of bite, i'' be too sad to get onto computer. Hpe you all had great week.

Catherine

OMG! Thank you so much Cory! You just totally made my day a whole lot better.:D

P.S.
I think you are really really AWESOME! And I can't wait until the new season of Hoarders starts.:)

May May,
You did what you needed to do. Your own sanity is just as important so never forget that. I hope she comes around someday and accepts help and offers an apology to you, but for now find peace in your decisions and lets all hope for the best. Support comes in may ways, and while people may not always like the way we choose to support them, the long term goal doesn't change if we want to see them succeed. Tough love is sometimes the only way. I have had to make that choice with people that I love as well and it does hurt but it is for the best. Sending our strength, thoughts and prayers your way!

I will tell her that Catherine. Thanks.:)

May May,

you would stop her from running into the street and getting hit by a car, even if you ruined her favorite dress in doing so.

Tell her you love her enough to hurt her sometimes. Also let her know that the pain you feel from her shunning you does hurt, but it is not enough to stop yourself from getting on with life.

I am proud of you, and you remain in my prayers.

Thanks Shannon.:)

i think you made the best situation for yourself ..i truly think she will come around eventually just give her space to think. stay strong and chin up..

Thanks for your concern Catherine.:) I'm hanging in there. My friend still won't talk to me, but her family is being very supportive of my decision. They tell me that they realize she has a problem but that she doesn't want to get any help for it and that I shouldn't blame myself for that. So that kind of makes me feel a little better that they are being so supportive. Even though I still feel bad because I feel like I lost a friend.:(

May May,

you doing ok?

Catherine

Thanks Catherine.:)

I'm sorry things didn't go well, but at least you were honest with your friend. Had you not been honest, you would have been the one with the resentment, building up as you live with all the cats.

It seems she needs some help and really, it is not your responsibility to be THE one to help her. You can point her in the right direction, encourage her etc, but she's got to get help herself. That will never happen unless what she's doing hurts more than the change of getting help hurts.

I think you did the right thing. Keep breathing, stay friendly and good luck with your future.

Ok, so last Sunday I finally told my friend that I don't think it is a good idea for us to move in together because of all the animals that would be living with us. The conversation did not go well at all. She totally freaked out and got really pissed. I told her that it wasn't because I didn't want to live with her, it was because she has so many cats. I told her that maybe if she got rid of some of the cats and decided not to get anymore then she could still move in with me. After I told her that she just totally went off and started screaming and told me that she hates me and that she never wants to see me or talk to me again. I feel awful.:( I tried calling her yesterday after I got back from vacation, but she didn't answer the phone; so I just left a voice message for her apologizing for what happened. I also tried texting her, but she hasn't texted back yet. I just really hope that she is going to be okay. I feel like I might have made her situation even worse.:(

Thanks.:) I'm gonna do it today. And I'll definitely let you know how things go:) I probably won't be back on here again until Thursday when I get back from my vacation.:)

maymay i wish you all the luck in the world its been great chatting with you . let me know how things go ... ill be back on in a few days or so..

I really hope she will understand or get over it, but I highly doubt that she will. She's the type of person that likes to hold grudges. Most of her problems have to do with friends that she thought abandoned her; but really they didn't abandon her, they just have other things to do and they can't hangout with her as much. But now all she talks about is how much she hates them. I plan on breaking the news to her this weekend. Hopefully it will go well. If not, at least I'll have a few days to forget about it while I'm on vacation next week.:)

im sure she will understand..if not im sure she will get over it..you cant mother her forever she needs to get out in the world and explore for herself..she cant expect you to hold her hand for forever .. being a friend is one thing but sometimes you just gotta be honest and tell her no to certain things. shes lucky to have such a great friend by her side. i wish nothing but the best for you . sorry if any of this sounded harsh but its what i would do if i was in your shoes.

Actually I think that therapy would be really good for her. Because right now I'm kind of like her therapist; she tells me all of her problems and I'll give her advice. Sometimes I'll invite her over to my house just to hangout and we'll end up talking about her problems for like 2 hours; sometimes even 3 hours. I don't really mind it though. And I have noticed that she has a lot of issues with anxiety and being around people. But she's never admitted that she thinks she has a problem. I highly doubt that she would ever agree to go to therapy though because she once told me that she thinks therapists are full of crap and that they're just assholes that like to steal your money. Plus she also doesn't have a lot of money, so she probably wouldn't be able to afford it. She actually very rarely even leaves her house. And most of the time when she does leave her house, she's with me. So I'm really nervous about telling her that I don't think it's a good idea for us to live together. I have a bad feeling that she is going to be really pissed.

you cant blame yourself for the things she does ... you can talk her into going to a therapy or talking to a doctor about her feelings sounds like she dont like being alone ..maybe anxiety or depression ? but she has to want the help before it can be provided .. its nice that your such a great friend to her but you cant put all her problems on yourself. maybe her mom can coax her into therapy as well..but most wont admit when they have a problem and become very aggitated .. so i wish you luck,

Thanks again Shannon. Yeah I think I'm going to go ahead and tell her that I don't think it's a good idea for us to live together. Truth is, she would probably hate living in New York City because a lot of people live there and she doesn't like crowds. To be honest, I think she just wants to live with me. Because she tells me all the time that she wants to move to wherever I want to live so that we can live together. That's one of the reasons I feel so bad about not wanting to live with her. And I'm also worried about when I do move away she might snap and become a full on hoarder. Because I also think that she is on the verge of being an animal hoarder too.

and thats totally understandable ... your friend should of been honest and told you how many pets she has. dont feel bad i would probably do the same. i personally wouldnt want to live with 12 cats and then hearing their not fixed and that she wants more .. kinda tells me shes on the verge of being a animal hoarder..but dont feel bad about telling her you dont want to move in with her just be honest and tell her its too many pets and you dont feel comfortable. i hope i helped im no expert..but go with your gut and say no.. i think if you did move in together youd be overwhelmed with all the animals and the noise and a ton of spraying by the cats when they go into heat plus scratching up furniture and a ton of litterboxes needing to be changed so their is no stinky smells ... my friends brother used to bring home stray cats and kittens and used to let them poop and pee wherever it was disgusting to say the least ...yuck and tottaly unsanitary to say the least and im an animal lover I feel bad for those animals ...

Thanks for responding Shannon. Honestly I totally agree with you, I also think 12 animals is a lot. My friend actually never told me that she has that many cats; her MOM told me. I was really shocked when I found out. My friend was there when her mom told me, and she said that none of her cats were fixed and that she wants even more cats. When I told my mom, my mom said that she doesn't think it would be a good idea for us to move in together. I feel bad because I kind of agree with my mom. I mean, I love animals and I love my friend but I really don't want to live with that many animals.:(

i think 12 is alot exspecially if its an apartment ...thats alot of money going towards shots and healthcare if you cant afford vetcare you dont need that many.its not good for your friend and not good for the cats.i would say maybe 4 max would be an ok amount ..i think most people would agree 12 is too many.. i hope they are fixed ? but thats only my opinion..

Hi, this is my first time posting on this board. I am 22 and about ready to move to New York City. My friend wants to move there with me. She has 10 cats and I have 2 dogs. Which means that if we move in together we would have 12 animals living with us. My friend doesn't think that she is a animal hoarder but I think she might be. My question is, how many animals is too many?