That is truly the sweetest story i have heard! Kids are the best! They always seem to know exactly what to say and melt your heart. I am sorry it has taken this long. I lost internet for a while. Everyday is still a struggle but i still see light at the end of the tunnel. I started seeing a therapist a few weeks ago and it has been going great so far. Thank you all again for your words of wisdom and kindness.

Beckky,
Reading your posts brought back memories. I was forced to do the housework by myself growing up. So I made sure MY children would be children and not workhorses. I should have balanced. My granddaughter had a great idea and she is almost 4. She saw me crying and frustrated and asked her mommy. Her mommy ( my daughter) said, " Grandma is upset her house is dirty." She came back and said " Grandma mommy told me why you were crying. Your house isn't dirty it is just messy. I know my ABC's and I can help you. Watch! she grabbed my boxes and said T=Toys, S=Shoes, G=Garbage D=Donate." After we did the closet she went and got her jelly bean treats and brought them to me. " Here Grandma you did a good job, now let's share ". Out of the mouths of babes.

Wonderful that your son likes to help. :D

When I had a young son I used to bribe him with M&Ms.

Pee in the potty, one M&M.
Put toys away, one M&M.
Sit still for story time, one M&M.
Eat your dinner, one M&M.

When he got older I had to change tactics.
He had to do his tasks daily and then get a treat once each week.
Usually he wanted ice cream. Sometimes he wanted a picnic lunch.

We all respond to treats and a reward for good behavor helps to keep us motivated to do our daily tasks.

My son loves helping with everything he can. Sweeping, mopping, vacuuming, dishes, taking the trash out, and even laundry. I let him help with absolutely everything I can. My daughter on the other hand doesn't like helping out with things. She is the one I have the most problems with her getting into everything. I am trying to work on all of that with her but with no success so far. The only way I have been able to get her to keep the toys picked up is threatening her that I will throw them away if she doesn't. I have tried making little games and singing the clean up song from barney to try encouraging her but nothing seems to be working and I'm not sure what else to try. I appreciate your advice so much!! It is so helpful!! If there is ever anything you would like to know, feel free to ask. I hope that you're having a good day. Take care!!

After I post I always need to "refresh" the page to see my post. ;D

Great that you plan to include the kids in daily maintenance.
Even very young ones can put their toys back into a box before bedtime and put their dirty clothes into the hamper.

Older ones can learn to scrape their plates, rinse the dishes and put them by the sink or right into the dish washer if you are lucky enough to have one. :)
They can also be made to be the one responsible for taking out the trash to the can or dumpster every day.

Even little toddlers love to "dust". Just give them a rag and let them dust the table.
Teaches children that a family works together to keep the home clean and tidy.

sorry, I didn't think the first one worked so I sent it again and now have 2. lol

Thanks Tillie! I appreciate your advice soo much! Tonight when we get home I am going to go around the room and make a list of everything that we need to do on a daily basis. I am actually going to try include my kids in doing the tasks. More my son than my daughter but she will be doing some stuff too so they can start getting in a routine and hopefully don't become hoarders themselves. As a child I was never taught cooking or cleaning. So I don't want them to go through the same things. I will definitely keep you updated with how everything is going. Thank you again!

Hi Beckky :)

So happy that you were able to do all the hard work needed to pass the inspection!

BIG "WAY TO GO" for keeping the dishes washed up daily.

Maintenance is done by having a routine and we can learn how to do this.
Writing a list of tasks to do daily and then doing these things every day will keep the home under control.
It only takes a few minutes to complete each task and you won't become overwhelmed or panic.

Please keep in touch here with us.

Sincerely, Tillie :)

Sorry for not writing back sooner. no computer until now. Thank you both soo much! There were 2 well, 3 reasons I made it through the other night. The first 2 were my son Jondreus and my daughter Nevaeh. The 3rd was I kept coming on here and reading all the inspiring advice everyone on here has shared. Finding this website and reading every time I started to lose motivation kept giving me the strength to keep going. Everything went very good with cleaning. She came in and said that she was very happy with how things looked. This seems to have became my routine though. I clean in a panic a day or two before she comes to see us and then the next day my kids usually start getting into things and then I start putting things off until later (even though later never comes)and everything seems to go back to the way it was until our appointment is a few days away and I start panicking again. I am hopeful that I will be able to break this cycle for the first time. Reading what everyone has put on here helped me see that it is possible. I made my first step and have done the dishes every day so far and make sure they stay done. Thank you so much!! I hope everything is going well for both of you!

Sorry for not writing back sooner. no computer until now. Thank you both soo much! There were 2 well, 3 reasons I made it through the other night. The first 2 were my son Jondreus and my daughter Nevaeh. The 3rd was I kept coming on here and reading all the inspiring advice everyone on here has shared. Finding this website and reading every time I started to lose motivation kept giving me the strength to keep going. Everything went very good with cleaning. She came in and said that she was very happy with how things looked. This seems to have became my routine though. I clean in a panic a day or two before she comes to see us and then the next day my kids usually start getting into things and then I start putting things off until later (even though later never comes)and everything seems to go back to the way it was until our appointment is a few days away and I start panicking again. I am hopeful that I will be able to break this cycle for the first time. Reading what everyone has put on here helped me see that it is possible. I made my first step and have done the dishes every day so far and make sure they stay done. Thank you so much!! I hope everything is going well for both of you!

Hi Beckky :)

Hoping you are able to get things cleared up enough for this inspection.
Good luck and best wishes!

The only way to keep things from getting out-of-hand is to have a set routine for doing the daily and weekly tasks that we all need to do to keep our homes tidy.

Daily we all need to wash dishes, take out trash and pick up & put away things.
Tidying up the little messes we make.

On The Daily Chat we post our tasks and that makes us accountable to each other to accomplish our tasks.

You can learn a routine that will help keep your home clean.
Also, we must stop bringing home more items because it is impossible to clean around too much stuff.

Hope all goes well for you today :)

Still up and trying to get all of this done. I am so mad at myself right now. I have 3 bags full of just trash and when i looked over at them the only word in my head was why? why couldn't i just get myself to throw it away as soon as it was empty or as soon as it broke and no longer had a use? why cant i just do it right then instead of letting it go until i had no choice but to do it? i am questioning a lot of things about myself right now and don't have any answers to give back. when i cleaned everything before and saw how nice it looked, i felt amazing. i was proud of myself for the first time in a very long time proud as a person and as a mom. my kids slept the entire time i was cleaning so they didn't know i was doing it. when they woke up the next morning as soon as i saw their eyes i could see their happiness. my son made every good feeling i already had a billion times better. he looked at me and said "youre the best mommy ever!! the room is so clean! you did great!" i kept it clean for a week or so and then it started going back again... why? why couldn't i make myself just do it? i knew i should have and i remember the feeling it gave me after i did it. but yet i let it go again. i am so angry at myself!! i do and give whatever i can for my kids so why cant i just make myself keep it clean? ugh!!! i want to scream!!!!

well where do i begin? first here is a little about me.. i am a 31 year old mom to an amazing 5 year little boy and a 3 year old little girl. i have wondered if i had a problem for a couple years now but recently realized that i truly know i do. we are currently living in a hotel shelter and i started buying things i made myself believe that we "needed". we have been here since may and are involved with dcf because a previous close friends son molested my son. my worker came and saw how our room was and she looked disgusted. i have never understood why i always have such a hard time keeping things clean and organized and most of the time i disgusted myself. more now than ever! our room is pretty much right back to where it was when our worker saw it for the first time and i am sitting here knowing she said if it went back to that again she was going to talk to her supervisor about taking my kids away from me. just thinking about losing them kills me but yet i am still having a really hard time getting motivation and clean. i started doing a little and became overwhelmed about cleaning all of it. i have to get it done tonight because my worker will be here at 9:30 in the morning. i will be having yet another night of very little and sometimes no sleep. i found this site today and was reading the things people were talking about and for the first time, i saw a light at the end of my tunnel. i just want to say thank you for that. reading peoples posts have given me hope. i have tried reaching out for help with my worker when she came before and told her that i feel as though i am a hoarder. she had nothing to say about that other than i have to get everything in order and that i have to stop sitting around and just do it. to me, she told me that i was just lazy and didn't have any real problems. needless to say, i haven't confided in her since and only talk to her about things i absolutely have to. any suggestions or advice anyone has to offer will be greatly appreciated. i am looking forward to knowing what people who understand and care have to say.

beckky