| Katherine Linton | Posted: 22 June 2017 - 08:34 PM |
Hello All! I'm new to this site. I stumbled upon it when I was searching for ways to help my parents. I made plans to go help my mother clean out some space on my parents' boat, where they live. I can't stand it that my 60 yo mother doesn't even have a place to sleep horizontally. The boat smells, which can't be healthy, and they can't even access half of it. They were amenable to me coming to help when I offered in a April, but my mother is now waffling as we get close to the date. I don't know how to express to her that I just want her to be healthy, have some space to live and be useful as a strong back with and organizational flair. I grew up with them in a hovel. I don't judge them, and I forgave them long ago. I just want to help them wherever I can. If anyone has any advice for organizing in a small space or putting a loved one at ease, I would appreciate it. Thanks. | |
Replies (2)
| Anonymoniker | Posted: 23 June 2017 - 11:17 AM |
Wow, as a hopeless-hoarder of a filthy mess, i LOVE your suggestion, SubClinical!!! If i were your mother, Katherine, id welcome this! .....and in many ways i am a lot like your mother...id give anything for someone to do this for me....♡ | |
| Subclinical | Posted: 23 June 2017 - 07:00 AM |
It sounds like your mom isn't ready to clean out. This visit is probably not going to go the way you want. Your mom needs to be the one in control and she needs to make the decisions. You should probably tell her that you are coming because you want to help her freshen the boat up, organize, and make it nice, what would she like you to do? Can you be happy with carefully moving items, cleaning them, and putting them back? Even if you think they are rubbish? That would be a start and help with the smell. Your mother also needs positive reinforcement if (if) she makes decisions to part with anything (if you check out chat, yesterday I threw away some rubber bands - intellectually i know that the rubberbands are insignificant, but the process was very difficult and I needed to come here for some reinforcement. Like the non-exerciser who does one push up.) If you can have a positive interaction with her where she gets rid of anything, it's a good start. But for a first try, even making the space cleaner is a start. I know it's frustrating, but try not to push and make her shut down. Having somebody you trust who will follow your lead and cheer your progress without judging is a huge help. | |