It sounds like you have a good handle on it.

Termites worry me more than mice. Normally I would say start with paths, but you may want to work on getting things away from walls - you might need to spray.

You can get it done little by little. We will cheer you on.

Thank you both. He sees the problem. So I think if we can get a handle on it he might be ok with grief therapy to start. He knows I'm fed up. The problem is we are both older so physically we can do too much at a time. I know it took 8 years to get like this so it won't happen overnight. The mice have just started in the past few months. We did have a cat, she passed last summer, but I wouldn't bring another in now until we clean up. Just this afternoon a neighbor informed us that they and the one on our other side have mice/termites. We live in a city in a rowhome. Ugh. Thank you for your advice and any continued motivation and prayers.

hi Anonymous,

that is a hard situation. Let me share how I relate to this.

My ex husband was a hoarder also, who, similar to your husband, grew up in poverty and didn't have anything, and had developed the same resistance to throwing out anything. When I started posting here, we were still together (probably 7-10 years ago - I was posting under a different name... "wife", I think). When I would remove dead light bulbs to throw them out, he would wrap them in paper towels and keep them. He had every receipt since the 70s, even for a loaf of bread. And when I threw out ruined, old things he would dig them out of the trash and save them.

I myself am a mild level hoarder (of things, not trash) but it got to the point you are at, with him. He had a den he hoarded to the ceiling and I just ignored it, until I went in there and saw mice nests.

This is the point where I did something a lot of folks here will say was wrong. I waited until he was gone, and I went in there with gloves and bagged up all the mice infested stuff and hauled it to the dump. Anything that had mice nests, urine, poop...chewed on... all of it, I just shoveled up and took to the dump. When he got back, I told him what I had done, and it was because it was a health hazard.

Was he angry? He was... but it was done. I will note I took photos of the mice poop, nests and areas, and it is a good thing I did because he was in denial and said there were no mice, it was not that bad, etc. So I had to text him all the pictures. It was a slap of reality for him and he had to admit it was bad.

I told him he could clean it up/sort it it I would continue to clean it that way when he leaves the house. In the end he accepted my help and told me to go ahead but not show him what I had thrown out.

I do think when it comes to health matters, it requires extreme measures. This is MY house that I bought before I met him, or I might have just moved out. But I am not leaving MY house or letting it be destroyed.

I will also add that we are not married anymore, but the hoarding was not a huge factor in why. Your mileage may vary.

Also in the case of mice we got a cat from the shelter and it kept the mice at bay. But I would only advise doing that if you will love and care for the cat and can manage a litter box etc, or it could make things worse. You can also get feral, neutered cats from a shelter to have outside, if it is allowed in your area.

Dump runs are a good start, but a hoarder doesn't "just stop". Does your husband see that there is a problem? Is he open to getting help? If he isn't able to address the hoarding issues, you are just bailing out a leaking boat.