| Too much to handle | Posted: 07 December 2020 - 05:59 PM |
I don't think I can handle this anymore in regards to helping a loved one with the amount of stuff she owns and the conflict it causes. Besides our personal relationship parent/child relationship it also affects the rest of her family and now neighbors. The hoarding has been lifelong for her just now it's getting really bad. She has always had a storage unit for things after we moved out of the house into apartments throughout life. Family items and antiques but most of it is just stuff easily replaceable. Outdated technology and small appliances that haven't been used in decades she won't let go. She's got a house full of stuff shed and a storage unit full of crap. Now the items are starting to leak onto the property and become visible for people to look at and maybe somebody might make a complaint to the city about her stuff. She's a renter at the place she's living at and I don't want some sort of code violation causing her to be evicted. She's accumulated a outdoor cat or 2 that don't have vaccines which I believe is causing conflict with neighbors next door since they also have pets. She complains to me that they're being childish trying to get under her skin mentioning anything whether it be items in the yard or the outdoor cats. She will ask me "Why aren't you defending me?" When I point out what I've mentioned she blows it of, gets defensive/combative or attempts to be a victim. This is really draining on me and I'm tempted to just let the city cite the landlord and let the eviction play out. Any suggestions on how I could convince some sort of therapy? | |
Replies (1)
| Tatoulia | Posted: 12 December 2020 - 10:54 PM |
Hello! A lot of people here recommend reading the book Buried in Treasures as a place to start. I have seen what you are going through and I'm so sorry! My mother has problems letting go of stuff, as do I. I've made a lot of progress and now have a livable home. I was lucky that I didn't end up in the overflowing stage that your mother is now experiencing. My mother is in assisted living so she's in tight quarters but she still thinks certain things (plastic tray from 20 years ago when she had an outdoor patio) is still worth keeping. I know I'm toying with her dreams and her happy memories. I'm able to control what goes into her small space, and that has helped. It's tough. We are here if you need some company. Our most active thread is on What Are You Doing Today? Please stop in. | |