I agree!

I was very sad when I read your reply about the many losses in your life, Barb.....and thought how tender that you have worn your hubby's shirts.

Thank you for the wonderful list of steps.

Thank you very much for the replies. Very, very much.

I've just bought the suggested book-- ha! digital--since my house is already covered in print books.

I did have a huge moment of denying when I saw a definition of hoarding--"Items that others would say are useless or unnecessary." The problem is that I have tons of actual "useful" stuff...but then my eye kept reading. <sigh> "Unnecessary" Yes, I do not need all this stuff....and it's actually causing me harm.

Thank you for being here, and responding.

Hi Whew,
I fully understand what you are going through. I have lost all four grandparents, both parents, two aunts, and my husband. Each loss was painful and I wanted to hang onto everything that reminded me of them. It felt like letting go of things meant that I was losing a part of them all over again.
Here are some things I found helpful:
1. Deciding a few things that I knew I wanted to keep. I kept and slept in one of my husband's T shirts and often wore my grandmother's sweater when I wanted to feel her close to me.
2. Starting by giving away things that I knew were needed by others. My local Salvation Army needed warm winter coats and work boots for men working outside. I could donate those items first knowing someone else needed them.
3. Having a dear friend come in and help me sort items. We could talk and cry and share memories while we sorted. That was healing.
I wish you well as you deal with your grief and work through letting go of things. I know the sheer volume of things can be overwhelming at first. Just take it a step at a time.

Hi Tillie! Hi and welcome Whew! 🙂

Oh, yes, is so hard to let go the things of our loved ones!
I only want to say that I, we understand you. You are not alone.

Hi 🙂
It is hard deciding what to keep or let go of a beloved relative's possessions.
You did FANTASTIC! on the bathroom 😀
A good book for you to read is "Buried In Treasures".
Working through this book can help with decision making and all the emotional struggles.

I did decide to tackle my bathroom....what could possible be in there that had a memory attached to it?! Well, just a few things, but I kept looking at this message board and writing in my journal and I managed to get THREE boxes out of there and a bag of garbage.
But I had to lie down several times in the process because it was so emotional. I just told a friend I feel utterly ridiculous to have gotten so attached to "stuff," but it's like I'm pulling teeth.

Does it ever get better?!