| Jess | Posted: 07 November 2013 - 10:15 AM |
As I was sorting clothes today I started thinking about my perfectionism. I usually end up on the chaos end of the spectrum more than nearing the perfection I crave. I'm realizing that I fear what I would become if I acted on my perfectionist wishes. I have always stopped myself from arranging and rearranging things because even though I love that I didn't see it as "healthy." And now I've ended up cycling from that to choas, which isn't healthy either. So I said before that I wish I was "perfect" but I suppose I don't really. I fear what life would be like if I did (or tried to do) all the things I feel like I need to do for things to be "right" in my home. All my time would be occupied. It's moderation I need, I just don't know how to sustain it. | |
Replies (3)
| Savannah | Posted: 24 February 2019 - 03:35 AM |
Thank you so much for sharing this. I've had very similar thoughts and it's something I struggle with. I either obsess with perfection and impulsively pick at every little thing in my life or physical trying to be perfect and I crash. After I crash and remember perfection isn't possible and instead of accepting that or finding comfort I jump to feeling hopeless like why try at all and then the cycle starts all over and I obsess over how I could achieve perfection again if only I do blah blah. The idea of balance and being able to let things go and be ok with that is a process I struggle to focus on and somedays I'm better at it than others haha. Best wishes to you and I hope you find your peace. I'm out here too still trying to find mine. | |
| Jess | Posted: 10 November 2013 - 11:24 AM |
Ah yes, I am very familiar with the crash and burn. I love your comment about living a life of moderation being a sort of perfection! I am trying very hard (and plan to do a lot of work in therapy) to retrain myself and my thought processes so moderation can be realistic for me. I do believe it will be a lifetime effort for me but what is the alternative? I don't want things to continue as they are, the cost is too high. But hey, this a new revelation for me and already I've found you lovely people and I'm feeling very good about all of us. | |
| Dianne | Posted: 08 November 2013 - 08:49 AM |
Jess, you're very insightful about perfection/chaos. I still crave perfectionism and I avoid looking at what that would cost me in terms of time, effort, what would be sacrificed. I just get caught up in the striving, all revved up and total tunnel vision. There must have been a little voice screaming for my attention but I got so good at pushing it down. Even yesterday I was all crazy high and by the end of the day it was crash and burn. Thanks for the reminder that getting betting means observing and striving for the balance. Sustaining it will probably always be a process of falling down and getting back up. If we were always in balance that would be perfectionism too. 🙂 | |