Really struggling lately. Therapy pretty much saved me and with the exception of the occasional bad day I've had a pretty steady climb of doing better. Now I'm having old symptoms return and some new ones. That feels awful because I don't want to go backwards.

I have never considered taking medication for this as much as I'm considering it now. I just don't know. I can't wrap my head around it. The CBT is one thing, doing the work, learning to cope, etc but I've been afraid of medication of all kinds for a long time. It's not just meds for mental illness that freak me out.

I have some new symptoms though, looking at or thinking about my hands/fingernails makes me imagine my nails are being sanded down (so bizzare) and it's like I can feel it. That hot pain and nails on a chalkboard sensation and I sit there with goosebumps trying to will it to stop. I know giving in to compulsions will make it worse but it's so hard. I want to clench my hands in rhythm and tap each finger to my thumb.

Sorry to go into detail, I don't know if that's okay here? Don't want to upset anyone. I don't know anyone who understands what I'm talking about IRL so...