IsabelleRingen, we have a lot in common, I too have a lot of unresolved grief, mental health diagnoses, and an autoimmune system condition. I would bet we are not the only ones, too!

I find it helpful to -not- think of myself as unique, but to find commonalities here and with any support group I associate with. For me it helps to have more meaningful results and to be more open to suggestions and experiences from like-sufferers.

Reading the boards here is proving to be honestly helpful, motivating and reassuring that I, too, can find a solution.

Kind regards to everyone...
Mare

Wondering if anyone will check in to update us on any progress made or any stuck points?

I began my clean-out project by filling up one of those plastic grocery bags daily. It doesn't take long to fill up and each day I was getting a sense of accomplishment. Being small, the filled bags were not heavy and easy to toss into the dumpster as I was walking by. If I was ambitious and had filled more than one bag, I would wait until dark and throw out multiple bags when I knew no one would be around. I was careful not to throw out anything that had my name on it so if someone did go through these "extra" bags, it couldn't be tracked back to me. (I know that's silly, but whatever.) It may seem like this method only covered a grain of sand on a beach, but gradually the smaller items of trash were gone.

At first it was easy as most of it was actual trash. But after a while I got better at making decisions and started tossing "good stuff" I knew I would never use but was not donation worthy. Once all the smaller stuff was gone, I could then concentrate on bigger items, and making bigger decisions.

Isabelle, I don't have any magical answers. It is certainly worth looking into any local groups that might help.

In the meantime, do what you can. Don't push it. 3 hours is a lot; maybe start with 15-20 minutes every day. Do you have refuse pickup? Start with the stuff that is easy to let go, and put it out for collection. Or get stuff together to donate to a thrift shop or whatever. Bring it down a little at a time; whatever you can manage. I find slow and steady is less traumatic.

At times, I will stand in a room and just look around at the stuff and go blank and get nothing accomplished. It helps to plan in advance what pile/items I am going to tackle (in general, I know what is where).

Good luck!

"It is the pushing against that allows any reality to remain intact. In fact, it is the pushing against a certain reality that adds to its strength. When we are opposed to something...and express and hold a frequency of opposition...we are actually giving the very thing we oppose our energy."

I believe this too. Cannot reconcile it with my reality of situation. Thoughts?

I fit the profile of the hoarding group that has had tragic loss, lack of love, have ADHD and depression (actually mood swings)- and an autoimmune disorder that creates fatigue. My house is full of the objects I thought would make me feel better, and the stuff I should have gone through 3 houses ago. I need help, but my situation is kinda unique.
My family is across the country (and they have mental problems themselves.) I have three friends who live an hour away and don't have time to help. With $11 in savings, so I can't hire anyone; I am living on disability. I'm disorganized, forgetful (largely because of the meds), quite depressed, and have only about 3 hours of stamina a day. I've hit mass betrayal and bankruptcy (never filed, lacked money to do so) and am a hot mess.
And before you judge me, just know I taught high school for 20 years with ratings of "superior" from my administrators. Despite the bipolar disorder and the ADHD and childhood abuse, I was determined to make a contribution to the world, and I think I did. But first the autoimmune disorder hit, then a breakup, and later my brain got messed over a trial prescription drug, haven't been right since. Last year's ostracism by 14 sister-friends, swiftly followed by bankruptcy, on top of the fatigue and house chaos tipped me over. I don't know what to do. I doubt any church people would come help me because I'm a lesbian. Heard of any pagan Samaritan groups? Other creative ideas out there, folks, for how I can get on top of my house and live like a real person? Of staying in the physical without being surrounded by chaos? Every time i think I'm getting a handle on at least cleaning out my apt a few bags at a time, a new depression hits and the kitchen gets buried again in filthy dishes that take a week to do. Laundry piles up meanwhile, and all the cleaning. I hate feeling so helpless, and it's hard at times not to hate myself for being inadequate.

Mary,

"4-6-8 bags a week is better than nothing." Yes it sure is! :)

4 bags out a week is 16 bags a month and 832 bags a year. Four bags a week (out) adds up!

8 bags out a week is 32 bags a month and 1,664 bags a year!!! That is huge!

Big Hugs on the hard work you are making in improving your life & living environment!

Sheryl

Mary,
Every bag you get out is a giant step in the right direction.
A few bags a week will soon make a difference you can see.
Best wishes and keep up the good job of filling those bags.

:)

Thanks for all the great suggestions! I very much appreciate it.

Unfortunately I live in a city and I don't think the garbage men would be so helpful. They don't even get out of the truck, they just pick up the parking lot dumpster in a big forklift thing and dump the whole thing into their garbage truck.

I don't know anyone with a pickup truck (great idea to have stuff taken away looking as if they were donations; even if this won't work for me I am hoping it might be helpful to someone else reading this message board).

As far as renting a U-Haul and taking trash to the dump myself, I am not sure where the city dump is or if random people are allowed to dump there without a license? I will have to look into this further.

In the meantime, I am trying to take stuff out a little at a time, trying to get several big bags/week into the dumpster if there is enough room. This will take a long time but I figure 4-6-8 bags a week is better than nothing. I will try this for several weeks and see what kind of progress I make.

Mama Duck,

Congratulations and a BIG "Way To Go!!!" on getting your home clear!

How very smart you are in finding such a great solution for your needs. :D

Best wishes, Tillie

I went outside and asked the workers on the town garbage truck! They said they would be back after work and take out everything I wanted to get out of the house, to buy a book of bright stickers and just go through and sticker everything I wanted out. The second day one of them brought his wife to sit with me and sort important papers. They told me they re-sell many items and scrap metal and donate some, but I also tip them. They have come back 3 weeks now and the house is looking pretty good.

P.S. I live in a very rural area and I checked with the town first about their trash personal and found out many of them work a little side jobs as do many fire fighters in our area.

Mary,
I was able to help a friend deal with a similar situation as yours, and can understand your concern for discretion during the clean-out process.
Do you have access to a pick up truck? Or perhaps have a friend or family member with a truck who could help? Removing a truck load full of trash at a time (in BLACK double-bagged or heavy duty trash bags, and a few boxes also) from the property helped to give the impression to any curious neighbors or condo employees who noticed the activity, that the contents were probably something other than trash. When he was questioned about it by a neighbor, he quelled their curiosity with a simple and reasonable explanation: That he was donating and/or taking things to storage, and he simply left it at that.

Mary,
The only thing I can think of is for you to arrange for a truck to come pick up the bags and take them to the dump for you.
If you had the bags & boxes all ready to go maybe you could rent a U-Haul type truck and take the stuff to the dump yourself.

Good luck & best wishes. :)

I live in a small condo, so a big dumpter in the yard for a month won't work for me. I don't have any yard, just the parking lot which is full of cars and no real "open" space.

I too just want to get rid of everything. I don't have an issue about letting stuff go at this point...I just want it gone. Our condo association restricts what you can put in the trash dumpster and keeps a close eye on anyone who puts in anything other than regular, bagged trash in there. Even if you put in a box that is not collapsed and folded flat they will issue a warning then fine you.

Plus, the dumpster for my unit is small and emptied weekly, so I can't take out 10 big bags of trash at a time like I want to. If I did so, I would fill it up and leave no room for others trash. Not only is this inconsiderate to my neighbors, but it makes me afraid they will suspect hording when they see me throwing away so many bags of trash and I am so embarrassed.

Anyone have suggestions on how I can get a large amount of trash out of here? I feel so helpless.

Sounds like you are really motivated to make this happen. That's wonderful!

Don't worry about recycling or donating things.
You can't save the world by keeping your home as an extention of the county dump.

The 300.00 for the big dumpster is a great bargain and will be money well spent.

Please come back & tell us how things are going and ask questions if you have some come up.

Good luck & best wishes, Tillie :)

Good. So my thoughts where pretty much correct. I can deal with a big dumpster in my yard for a month. It's about $300 for what I've seen. I can swing that. Breaking down the furniture is a good idea. At this point I just want it gone, don't care about the how what and whys. Just that I can make it no longer be in my home.

Hi Adam,

The best way with the fastest results is to get one of those big dumpsters brought to your yard.
Start filling it up and keep working until it's full.
Bigger items like furniture can be disassembled or broken down into smaller more easier handled pieces. Many people have even taken apart big couches and dressers because they are too heavy to move intact.
Doing a clean out all by yourself is very hard and dirty work but you can do this and the reward of a clean & safe home is well worth all this effort.
Remember to keep yourself safe. Wear gloves and a face mask. Take proper breaks to drink lots of water.
Good luck & best wishes, Tillie :)

I have become completely overwhelmed and I need to get rid of what is ruining my life. How and where do I start? I want to just throw most of the stuff away. But theirs furniture and lots of trash to be thrown out. We don't have the money to hire anyone to do it for us, so how can I do this myself? I've considered renting one of those large construction dumpsters. But if there are other possible options could someone please share? It's gotten to the point of neglecting home repair because we are too embarrassed to have anyone come over and work on anything that needs repairing.