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Hoarding Help Message Boards : Cleanup Help : Sick and tired of our hoarding mess
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Sick and tired of our hoarding mess
   

dave
Posted: 10 November 2014 - 08:49 AM
Taking what you've said at face value, it does not sound to me like you need a $200 an hour organizer to start.

What it sounds to me like you need is a trustworthy small trash hauler. Someone that would have a large truck and 2 guys you could trust to be in the house with you and your mom.
They would come in the house, take out bags and boxes you pointed to and repeat that until the truck was full. They would take the truck to the dump. Repeat the cycle until built up accumulation of trash bags and boxes is gone.

Then on an ongoing basis, you need some kind of help to get your trash to the curb for pickup.

That is the approach I would be looking at in my locale anyway.

Is there any kind of community assistance/disabled assistance/elder assistance organization in your area that you discuss the need for that kind of help over the phone with?
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Gem
Posted: 10 November 2014 - 12:50 AM
It was stuff like food, toiletries and household items that I have to work to make fit in places and then figure out where to put the empty boxes too. I can't just bring the boxes in and put them somewhere to open later because there's no room to do so.

I posted a more detailed response The Daily Chat section. I had trouble finding my thread from that section when I posted before so I replied to this thread by mistake.
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dave
Posted: 06 November 2014 - 11:40 AM
what's in all the boxes on the porch you haven't been able to bring in?
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Dianne
Posted: 06 November 2014 - 10:24 AM
Hi Gem, I'm so sorry you are having such a hard time.

It sounds like with the health difficulties of you and your mom there must be some type of intervention and you want that help. This is just my opinion, but I don't think APS would put you in jail. Maybe the social worker meant you would be held responsible for elder neglect since your mother is in your care but you need help as well. Since you are not able to care for your mother or yourself it doesn't appear to be a jail-able offense. To be safe google Volunteer Lawyers Project and contact the one nearest to you.

It shocks me too that all those EMS people could come to your home and then walk away.

Can you google community services in your area to see what kind of help may be available? Not just for a hoard clean out but for ongoing health care. Is your mother seeing a cancer specialist? Can you talk to her doctor about getting help?

Whatever the other *huge secret* is you don't need to talk about it here. If things keep going downhill it's going to come out eventually in real life. It may be better to admit it to someone now before it gets worse.

Do your have family members who could help? What about church groups? Since your neighbors have already called the police could you ask one of them to help? I'm not talking about help you clean out. I'm talking about finding help for you like which groups could intervene. Sometimes even looking things up can be very stressful and exhausting. If you live in an area that is well populated there may be good options.

As a last resort you could google National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. It isn't just for imminent suicide help. They are there to help with the desperate situations of life and may be able to give you numbers or names in your area. At the very least they are professionals who are dedicated to getting people help. The would never laugh or minimize your problems.

I understand your desperation and the slow decline that is so frightening. Don't stop reaching out for help. You can express your emotions here and get support. But for the help you need in real life there will be someone for you and your mother. Don't give up.

Let us know how you are. God bless ~ Dianne
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Gem
Posted: 06 November 2014 - 02:32 AM
A few weeks ago someone called the police on us and I didn't answer the door when they first came out because I wasn't sure who it was. The 2nd time they came out it wasn't just them, they brought along firemen and paramedics. I answered the door and told them we had a few boxes outside our door that had been delivered because I was too tired to bring them all in when they arrived due to a couple of them being heavy. In with the cops there was one woman one and she yelled to everyone else who were men "Sorry boys!" as in sorry that they all had to come out for nothing.

The policemen at the door kept asking me questions and making me feel awful for having boxes outside the door, the other thing was our mailbox was overflowing because we live on a hill and my Mom is to sick to go out there to the box and all and I have been having awful dizzy spells for awhile and can't go out there either. I don't know if mine is anxiety or what. The cop asked to come in to see if my Mom was ok and alive after I told them she slept in a hospital bed where she was napping. I told them then and there that our house was hoarded and we needed help.

Two of the cops came in to see that my Mom was ok/alive and then turned to leave and go out the door. They got on me some more about the packages and mail to which I replied almost in tears that we needed help so badly. They didn't care and after they were done reaming me out about the mail and etc. they left. I stood in the doorway a couple minutes in shock that all the cops, the 2 fire trucks and the ambulance that had just been there all left without offering to get us any type of assistance or to refer us to anyone who might be able to help at all.

It's so bad in here that stuff keeps falling and I have to pick it all up. My Mom is to sick to help at all and I can't do much of anything without getting extremely tired and dizzy. We have no dining chairs or anything I could sit on while picking stuff up and I don't know what to do anymore.

My Mom will probably have to have major cancer surgery soon because it's spread and she doesn't deserve to have to recover or live like this and honestly neither do I but there is no way I can do it alone. I can't even do it little by little. We're desperate for help but there doesn't seem to be anything out there in this area at all.

A whole lot of stuff fell tonight and my Mom tried to help pick some of it up because I was kind of stuck where I was but I told her to go in her room and I'd pick up the rest because I didn't want her to hurt herself. We can't live like this anymore.

There's another huge secret too but I'm scared to admit what it is because of how bad it is. We need help so bad but I'm scared what that social worker who worked for the home health my Mom said last year about if the Adult Protection Services came out is true that I'd probably go to jail. I'm not well enough mentally or physically for jail. :(
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Gem
Posted: 04 June 2014 - 10:50 AM
Thank you Kathy and what you say is true about his time coming. Him being a paramedic unless he's new we probably weren't the first and surely won't be the last hoarders he'll see.

Do cleanup companies expect payment all at once or are there payment plans?

It's getting tiring and extremely dangerous having stuff fall from touching it and we're so tired of this mess.
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Kathy
Posted: 24 May 2014 - 07:02 PM
The person who laughed at you and ridiculed you all is probably one of those people who has never been sick or injured in his life and doesn't understand that all of us are only temporarily able-bodied. Unfortunately, his time will come. In the meantime, please know that there are people who understand being sick, disabled, and overwhelmed. We care, even if we don't know how we can help. Forgive him, he is not worth giving space in your heart to. Keeping the anger will only make you feel more helpless.

Peace,
Kathy
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Gem
Posted: 24 May 2014 - 07:30 AM
We desperately need help too but am on a limited income and have no idea what to do so that's why I posted in his section but I'll try the other one also.
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Tillie
Posted: 06 May 2014 - 11:05 AM
Hello Gem :)

I am sorry that the emergency worker was so rude.
Hope your Mom is doing better now.
We all work together here on this message board, mostly in "The Daily Chat" where we tell what we are doing and also get a lot of very helpful advice.
Please join us. :D
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Gem
Posted: 05 May 2014 - 10:41 AM
The house my Mom and I live in is that way right now because we both have physical issues too and nobody to help. My Mom had to be taken to the hospital last night due to side effects from her kidney cancer and one of the paramedics was laughing at us in our home, being conceding like we didn't realize what our home looked like and I heard him outside telling his other two co-workers who came with the ambulance and stretcher about us and he was laughing and being snide about us to them too. We have mostly empty boxes piled up and trash bags that are hard to get out all the time because of living on a hill.

I told the guy I described who came first before the two with the ambulance arrived that we were embarrassed about our home and needed help but had no idea what to do and he still treated us the way I described. Made me with I didn't even exist and left me feeling so humiliated. We're both on SSI and have a limited income and in addition to all of this may be loosing out home soon too. I'm trying to handle this all myself and don't know what to do anymore.
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