Tiffany,
Thank you for that update. Your father being in a wheelchair (even if he can use a walker) shows how severe his disorder is. I don't think you have any choice but to do what you are doing. I know it isn't easy, but I think it is great that you are still trying to take care of him. Please keep us updated as this continues so we can all learn even more. I wish you the best of luck!

I had forgotten about posting about my father but thought I would update the situation.

He did come home, he is in a wheel chair but can walk with a cane. Since being home, he is already hoarding and junking up the place. Soon he won't be able to get around. He gets very angry when I second guess why he won't get rid of things.

Now I am being sneaky. Here, let me take all these towels home to wash. But I won't bring them all back. No one needs that many old towels. lol

We are still in the purging/cleaning but we did make HUGE progress with the downstairs area of the home. It is livable for sure! There are just so many things he will NOT allow for us to get rid of. Does anyone really need 3 couches?

I did tell the caseworker what we are dealing with at his home and she completely understands. He isn't the first patient with this problem.

As far as I know, they will come into the home and make sure it is suitable based on how mobile he is when released. I am praying we get as much time as possible out of this. We still have a few weeks worth of work to do.

No matter how careful we are, me and sister believe he will freak out when he comes home. I told her I will just leave and let him throw his hissy fit. :)

Whatever the reason being for the hoarding and mess, if he wants to come home it has to be gone.

Tiffany-
Just wondering how your progress with Dad is going. Did you manage to speak with the social worker? Our approach is typically to remove all obvious trash and to sort the remaining contents into categories. I would suggest that sincce you need to purge, you remove duplicate items first, even if you think they are more "valueable" than other items in the house. Dad will notice that he doesn't have the one unique somethingoranother that you find useless, before he misses the 24 extra shower curtains. lol "Can we get this again if he really needs it?" In all likelihood, he will be angry about everything missing, but you can more easily justify reducing the duplicates down to one and a back-up before disposing of single items. If he has collections, try picking out the items that are in the best condition and that take up the least amount of space and bin them with a label. As far as clothing and other items, keep only what is in PERFECT condition. No stains, breakage, tears, current, working, etc. That is also an easlier justification. I will you well. You and your sisters are in my thoughts. Nicole

Hello,

Me and my sister did discuss whether or not to talk to the case worker and I think we are. If anything to get us more time!

We were doing some major purging today, hours and hours and it seems like we got no where. This is really exhausting work. He still thinks we are packing everything up and yes, some stuff is being kept but not everything. We have run out of room for stuff.

He must have been on edge at the thought of us working on the house because he called countless times.

He has tons of furniture from his deceased parents and there is no where to go with it. It is hard to even suggest getting rid of stuff like that! And if it weren't for all the other 'stuff', we could deal with the furniture.

We are just dumbfounded over this whole process.

What if you had the hospital social services tell him they needed to inspect the home to make sure it is ready for him in his new condition? I don't know if they will do that, but if they will maybe he will actually say something like, well it is a little messy and might need a cleaning. That way he is somewhat reporting himself. Maybe worth a shot.

Thanks for much for the replies!!!

From my reading on this subject I totally get us cleaning will not help his illness but to be honest, we are only looking at the immediate future here. The likely hood of him talking to a professional about this is zero. I am going to discuss with my sister the subject of bringing this up with his caseworker at the rehab. Do you think this is a good approach? This way she can have someone talk to him and see how receptive he is, hopefully without coming right out about the condition of his home.

He is a VERY paranoid person so he would freak out if we spoke about any aspect of his home with a stranger.

He will have plenty to go through when he comes home but when is another story. You see he hasn't done taxes in years and the IRS is on him. There are papers everywhere and only HE knows what is what but he will remember that certain things are in certain rooms. But he is not a neat hoarder.

I was pretty amazed yesterday when I went to see him that he is actually hoarding in there. I left him a cup of hemp milk (he likes that stuff) and it was still sitting there with some milk in it although he knows it has to stay cold so a day later, it shouldn't be drank. I just thought he didn't bother to throw it out but my sister said he is probably hoarding it.

I am sharing all this info with my sister and we both are grateful for any suggestions and advice, even if it might be harsh for us to take. :)

There is a 100% recidivism rate with a forced or "unauthorized" cleanout. I would seek out the assistance of social services at the hospital and find a professional, licensed mental health worker who specializes in hoarding disorders. Often times working with them to clean out the home at a pace that he is comfortable with is the best option. If he needs to live in another location while that takes place- so be it. Otherwise, you are cleaning in vain. Anyone with mental health training knows that this is a mental illness and simply removing the clutter is detrimental to his wellbeing.

Tiffany,
Well, you are doing the right thing just know that. There may be no easy way for you to let your father know what you fave done. He will most likely be unhappy no matter how you explain it to him. Maybe explain that the hospital would not let him be discharded home with it in that condition. I do not want you to lie, but if the social services knew that his home was like that, they wouldn't allow it. Let him know that you love him and want him to be safe and it was either clean his house or put him in a convelscent home. I think when he thinks about the options, he will agree you did what was best. If you save enough stuff for him to look through later, he may feel like he is still a part of the cleanup and may not take it as hard. Let him know that you will have boxed up all of the good stuff, worth keeping and the rest you will look through with him. The last thing you want to do is send him home and have him fall into a severe depression. Let us know what happens please. We can all learn from his response to your actions. I wish you the best of luck with your father.

I guess I need to know what might happen when my Dad comes home from the hospital.

He had a stroke and there is NO way he can come back to his house in the state it is in. There is no room to walk let alone with a walker.

We have no idea how his rehab is going to go but we knew we had to get in the house right away to get things cleaned. My dad thinks we are packing everything up in boxes and putting it in the garage. How? There isn't room there!!!

So far we have thrown out obvious trash. Empty cartoon, newspapers, ect.

We are afraid that my Dad might freak out when he comes home!!!

Any advice would be greatly appriciated!!!