Actually her cousin sounds like the perfect person to broach this with your mother, your mom may respect her more and she needs her help so she may be more amenable to the discussion. The cousin sounds like a giving, good person and would probably be more than happy to help. From what you've written, it doesn't bode well for you to attempt to try with your mother. Seems like as people age they get in more denial about the problem, that's how my parents were about their hoarding. And I know from experience, being gentle and supportive, non-judgemental is the only route to go with us hoarders, or else we'll get A)defensive, angry B) withdraw into ourselves. Is your mother's house just messy or is it piles of stuff, trash, etc. piling up?

My mom is a hoarder and I want to get her the help she needs. She knows her house is a mess but she won't work past the problem beyond hiring a cleaning service. I know the problem runs deeper than just needing a good house cleaning. I am very certain that she has some kind of mental illness, but she refuses to seek professional help. I know she has in the past, but for whatever reason stopped. She said something recently that clued me into her thought process. It was something along the lines of her not liking to dig up the past because it was too painful. My question is how do I get my mother to realize that she needs help without completely alienating her? I know from past experience that she will not listen to me. My mom and I have not had the best relationship lately. I think much of the underlying cause of this is the same as the underlying cause of her hoarding tendencies and that is her denial that she has any issues at all. She will very easily feel ganged up on, so if I am not the right person to have broach the subject, I don't know who is. I am an only child. I am an adult and live in another state. Her only sister is mentally disabled and my mom spends a lot of time caring for her. She has a cousin who helps her with her sister and has a social work background. She might be the obvious choice, but I feel like she already does so much for my mom that I don't want to over burden her. I also don't want my mom to push her cousin away because she really needs her as an ally when it comes to caring for my aunt. Any feed back would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you.