Skip to main content
#
Hoarding Help
Hoarding Cleanup, Help for Hoarders, Nationwide Hoarding HelpHoarding Clean up National ResourcesAbout Hoarding Cleanup, Clutter CleanupHoarding Cleanup, Clutter Cleanup, Hoarding Cleanup, Help for HoardersSupport GroupMessage BoardFor FamiliesHelp For HoardersHoarding Help for Hoarders, Resources, Hoarding Cleanup, Clutter Clean up

Hoarding Cleanup Service 
Steri-Clean Locations 

Questions...Answers...Support. Together we CAN beat this!
Brought to you by:

(800) 462-7337
8:00 AM to 5:00 PM Every Day!

Hoarding Help Message Boards : Cleanup Help : Who should be doing the throwing out?
Reply to this topic
Who should be doing the throwing out?
   

Isabella Ringen
Posted: 06 March 2013 - 02:12 PM
Ok, here are my thoughts - your mileage may vary.

Forcing yourself to throw things away in agony doesn't feel like flowing with healthful energy.

1. Call your county help line or Catholic Services or churches or Volunteers of America to locate a therapist or counselor who takes Medicare and has a sliding scale. Some are actually so wealthy or just so compassionate they charge the client zero. No kidding - mine did for nearly a year. My theory is that when you set your intention to change the situation and reach out for help, the Universe responds by swooping in with amazing help you never knew was available.

2. If you could actually talk with your mom, she would definitely help you shift your perspective, and begin to heal your heart. Your mistake has been believing that's impossible. Actually, you can talk with people no longer embodied on earth. Contact a respected, bonafide intuitive like Cyndi Dale and have a chat or two with your mom - or whomever of your family "picks up the phone" in answer to your call. (Don't be surprised if they sound a lot more cheerful and healthy-minded; their bad traits are gone over there.) If you can't afford a psychic with a stellar reputation, you can still ask your mom to come in and communicate with you by stating her full name three times and requesting her presence. You may feel her emotionally, you may suddenly just "know" something she is communicating to you, or if you're really gifted, you may get sentences - sit with a notebook and just write whatever comes to you. You might try writing with your left hand, some info comes in best through the right hemisphere of the brain. Some of us can hear them talk in our heads or beside us - if so, write down what you're told so you can review it later. I am certain nobody on the other side wants you to be forlornly clinging to objects just because they remind you of someone. They still love you, in fact they love you more than ever, they see every thing you do... and they want you happy! Living, chatting with people, going out, and at times thinking of them with love, as they think of you with love. They're invisible but they're not gone by any means. They definitely do not want to see you stuck in grief and hanging on to old broken plastic stuff. Seriously, ask them.
Top
catherine
Posted: 22 April 2012 - 09:05 AM
Dear Turning,

I used to have almost every card given to my by my relatives, for some reason my parents saved them for me. I kept two (one from someone dead, one that i just really liked) for each holiday and tossed the rest.

As far as the kids clothing, I decided to keep one for each year of the boys, and ONLY if I could find a nice photo of them wearing the article of clothing. I can put one piece of art, and one toy into each shoe box. That way I could put both in a box with the year and let the rest go. This may not be the best solution, but it takes up less space than keeping everything. I understand wanting to keep stuff from when he was tiny, when he loved you unconditionally and from when you were happy. Better to keep a few things neatly than let the rest go and have to dispose of it all because it is ruined.

You are NOT the only one. Many more of us struggle than are seen in evidence on these boards. Heck, many people are making a living filming those of us who have no other option than to accept public help.

It IS better for you yourself to throw this stuff away. You need to feel the pain of the consequences of your actions. Otherwise there will be no change. It is NOT easy. It is NOT comfortable. It certainly does NOT go quickly. However, it is possible (so I'm told .... ;-))

Hang in there, continue reaching out for support and motivation.

Catherine
Top
Turning In Circles
Posted: 21 April 2012 - 08:33 PM
Sorry, the last reply was from me. I thought the name that needed to go in the reply settings was the name of the person I was replying to. Sorry for that .
Top
Cory Chalmers
Posted: 21 April 2012 - 08:31 PM
Thank you for your reply Cory. It actually made me sob. (lol, I am such an emotional wreck)Bless you for understanding words!
I logically completely understand what you are saying and would probably would give out the same advice but when it comes to my stuff I am so attached. I have been through so much in my life and I feel like I hold onto stuff because it allows me to hold onto what once was. To be honest I even have random things I kept from about the age of 5 that others would have thrown away. I have all the cards ever give to me through my whole life,(since birth), for birthdays, Christmas, Easter and other occasions. The cards I would have the mot difficult time parting with are the ones from my deceased mother and grandmother. I am only 33 but I have quite a collection. Does anyone one else,(non-hoarder), keep cards? How do I get over the emotional attachments to things? Medication? Therapy? I would not be able to afford therapy that is why I am trying to find help and solutions on line. The most important thing is I have a wonderful son. He is a blessing and the love and joy of my life! I do not want my issues to affect him. Also I have a hard time letting go of his school stuff, his clothes from newborn till about 3yrs. Also I have every item of clothing my mother ever bought for him when she was alive. I am so exhausted with my life and just sharing all this is embarrassing and tiring. I want he best for my son and I wan to set a good example and life long habits for him.
Top
Cory Chalmers
Posted: 21 April 2012 - 06:27 PM
Turning In Circles,
I am very sorry to hear that you suffering from this disorder. I will tell you that I agree with your sister that you should be the one letting go of those items. By having someone else do the pysical act of throwing it away, nothing is learned. You need to realize for yourself that you can do this, and in turn, I believe you will realize that it isn't that hard and you can let other items go as well. Just start small with one or two items. You have to understand that by letting go of those items you are not letting go of your mother or her memories. Your memories will alwas be there. If you need to, take a picture of some of the items, that way the memory is there, but they are not taking up space in your home. I would also recommend you discard them in a way you can't go get them back. If you have to stand on the curb and throw it in the trash can just as the trash truck takes it away then do it. Challenge yourself to overcome this obstacle. This is not your sisters battle, it is yours and you have to figure out a way to make it happen and learn from it.
Top
Turning In Circles
Posted: 21 April 2012 - 06:17 PM
Hi, there. I am so overwhelmed with my stuff and I find I can make up excuses for it like a lot of other hoarder people. I think I may be one but I never thought that I just figured I don't have enough space too put all my stuff. I have a weird compulsion to be attached to things that I have to admit are garbage or things from my past that are of no use.I really wish I didn't have feelings like this. I realize I have a problem and I am working on getting my act together but there are some things I are almost impossible for me to throw out. I will toss it but then go back and get it. The following is my problem and my question: My mom passed away 6 years ago and between my siblings and I we went through her things and divided up stuff and donated and threw stuff out. Her face creams and shampoo I used but now I can't throw out the empty bottles. I have plastic baskets that are broken of hers that I can't throw out. A broken mirror set...anyways that just a small example of her non usable stuff I can't bring myself to throw out even though logically I know I should. I asked my sister if she could throw out all that stuff for me because I would be ok if she was the one who threw it out and not me. She said that all that stuff is garbage and that I need to take the step and throw it out. She thinks it will be therapeutic for me to do this and that if I can do this it will help me immensely. I understand her tough love point of view and thinking but I am not sure if I will be able to do it and I really want to start getting rid of all the stuff. Would it be healthier and therapeutic if I could manage this hurdle on my own or should I make her throw it out for me.
Top
Hoarding Help Message Boards : Cleanup Help : Who should be doing the throwing out?

Reply to this topic
best live chat

Interactive Hoarding Help
Click Boxes Below

best live chat
 
 
Site Mailing List 
"Cleaning with Care and Compassion TM"

Hoarding Cleanup
Nationwide Hoarding Resources Directory

Copyright 2009 - 2021 HoardingCleanup.com

Design Your Own Website, Today!
iBuilt Design Software
Give it a try for Free