Cindy, I'm also sorry to hear of the loss of your pets. That impacts us a whole lot. I lost one of my cats a few weeks ago, too.
Come here and type. It'll help.
Dianne
Posted: 18 September 2013 - 09:57 AM
Hi Cindy,
I'm so sorry about your sweet, gray wooly kitty. You have your hands full with lots of fur babies but each one is a special love.
Have you tried looking for housemates at vet or kennel facilities? There are usually employees there who might need a new roommate too. They are used to the mess and work of animals and living with them. You may get a few new animals roomies too as those people usually have more than one pet. But it could be a good match.
Good luck! :)
Tillie
Posted: 17 September 2013 - 11:03 AM
Hi Cindy (((hugs))) So very sorry about your cat. :::( I know the hurt, I lost my snuggle boy/cat a few months ago.
Sometimes posts don't post. I don't know why. Before I press "post Reply" I always copy my posts just in case and then post them again if they don't post the first time.
It is best to concentrate on one small area of the house instead of looking at the whole place. Filling bags with any obvious trash is a great way to start. Having laundry going while you do another task helps get more accomplished at the same time.
Best wishes, keep posting and we will help get you through this.
cindy
Posted: 16 September 2013 - 11:02 PM
so that last one posted just not the one that meant anything.i started trying thissupport group online in July. Then one of my pets died.Midde aged llama.Stress related untimely death. i managed to bring another back from the brink but meanwhile had my 15 y.o. cat with chronic sinusitis& arthritis go into decline. i buried him two hours ago& can honestly say that i have been trying to get the #+%* house straigtened out his ENTIRE life. I still have 5 llamas,11 y.o.dog,10 y.o.dog,15 y.o. brother of the newly late goo goo cat Indigo & a 109 y.o. rental house/barn all depending upon me to take care of them. I MUST clean up so I can get housemates or all of us r gonna be on the curb. I need lots of motivation. Im gonna give the still recouperating llama Cha Cha his baby yogurt,move my jeans from wash to dry,fill up two grocery bags with trash (here=EZ) & try to sleep for the first time since 1998 without my gray wooly kitty sleeping somewhere nearby. he was such a beautiful special boy. can i get by the image verify this time Hanna,Joana& all- hope to talk to u again 2moro.
cindy
Posted: 16 September 2013 - 10:35 PM
i cant seemto get past the verify image so i cant post here but i need to. will keep tryingeveryday.
Hanna
Posted: 10 September 2013 - 06:14 PM
Joanna: You are not alone. I am in the same position. My house is a mess and I am too overwhelmed to do anything but I am going to try doing the two small bags a day. I think I can do that and I will report back on how it goes.
Hang in there - I know just how you feel
Mary
Posted: 25 August 2013 - 10:55 AM
Joanne, your disgust with yourself and your horror/shame that things have gotten as bad as they have are sound so familiar. I have been there. It breaks my heart to see others in this situation since I know how helpless and hopeless you feel.
Its almost a year since I started my own hoarding clean up. It was incredibly difficult but it CAN be done.
A few things that helped me...
1) Take out as much as you can in small bags. Start in a single area like a bathroom. Bag some up, take some out, every single day. I'm not talking about rolling up your sleeves and cleaning...just spending 20 minutes or so scooping up trash and stuffing it into bags. Just two bags a day minimum and that's 14 bags a week. I know it seems like a drop in the bucket, but once you clear some space you will feel more in control.
2) Don't worry about cleaning/restoration /repairs right now. It will overwhelm you and you will lose hope. Put blinders on and just bag up trash. Just focus on getting as much stuff out as you can. Once the space is cleared out you will have an opportunity later to assess damage and do a heavy cleaning and maybe get help disposing of large items. Do not lose hope. One step at a time.
3) Start a hoard cleanup fund. Put every cent you can in there. Cancel cable TV. Eat ramen noodles. Skip any luxury or entertainment. $5, $10, $20, spare change, whatever you can. It will add up and is money better spent than anything else in the world. It will give you your life back. Even if you have to do it in stages.
This time last year I had piles of trash, filth, bugs, water damage, mold, mildew. Now my home is clean. Do not give up. Do not lose hope.
Isabelle
Posted: 06 August 2013 - 08:16 PM
Hi Joanna!
I'm a newbie, too! And, guess what...the same words that you spoke, I could have just as easily. :-) We CAN do this, Sister! Do you have the support of your husband in this endeavor to clean up your space?
I took out about 4 garbage bags of...well...literally GARBAGE (empty plastic cups, microwavable containers, empty kitty food cans -- the bain of my existence -- the cans not my furbabies.) I felt proud because that first step is the hardest and I've been putting it off for weeks. Yes, your read that right, WEEKS. Counting garbage bags is very rewarding. I was amazed in what I got done in 45 minutes. I think it's going to take me longer than it ever does. Just focus on one thing. One itty-bitty thing. (I'm preaching to myself here just as much.)
One thing that's motivating me and keeping me strong...I remind myself that I can't change the past. All I have is now and the future. And, I'm excited about what my house can BE. I keep that vision in my head. I'm here for your as well.
Oh...and this will make you feel better. I had a kitty that I did not choose and he pee'd EVERYwhere. I don't think there is anything in my house that has not been impacted. Even the toaster! I blamed myself for some time...thinking...well, if it weren't so cluttered or if he had other needs met (I had him neutered, so that wasn't the issue). I finally gave him to the Humane Society...along with massive guilt. But, I haven't been able to face the filth left behind since (until now) and it's only gotten worse out of my own frustration and sense of hopelessness on top of having a job for 3 years where I worked 80-100 hours a week and was extremely stressed out all the time. I took care of that problem 2 years ago and now have work-life balance and time to put myself first. But, it's been 2 years and I'm still in the same place! Crazy, eh?
And, it's true, I have felt crushed by life. Wow. Someone understands...THANK YOU for that! Those words are the essence of my problem. Disgust, self-punishment, hopelessness, helplessness, regret...the mess is an expression of my inner pain while the shopping and acquiring gave me a sense of hope and a bit of a mood lift, at least temporarily. It got me out of the house and avoiding the mess, too!
We've got this, Girl!!! Isabelle
Roxie
Posted: 06 August 2013 - 01:54 PM
Joanna, I am glad to see you come back. So long as you try, there is hope. Trying can be in tiny steps as you learn and that is okay. Getting out of the mess is a process, a trial-and-error method (to see what works for your situation and personalithy), and takes work. I know for me coming here every day is essential as I make my way even further along the way out of squalor.
It is great you are taking care of kitty. Keep vet records where you know you can find them. Try to maybe focus on getting her litter box or boxes clean and maintaining them clean (daily scooping, weekly complete cleaning and disinfecting). That way she'll be most inclined to use the box rather than the floor, the pile of paper or clothes, etc.
Let us know how you are?
Dianne
Posted: 06 August 2013 - 11:54 AM
{{{{Joanna}}}}
Right now you are doing the best you can. Believe me that's true. I'm not implying that you can do no better. I'm saying that, for some time, you were unable, whatever the reason, to do more than what you absolutely had to in order to make it thru each day.
And then you're able to see a little better and it's a terrible shock. You are absolutely not vile, filthy or lazy. You are a dear soul who got crushed in life. I think that's what happens to most hoarders. We don't plan to trash out lives. I figure if we're still alive then we're not failures.
Clearly you're taking good care of your kitty. You have confirmation of that from a professional. Congratulations! So you see you CAN take care of something very, very well.
Does your counselor know about your home? Can he/she find resources in your area that can help? Any able-bodied family or friends? Hoarders tend to isolate, there is so much shame, but when others know you're really ready to make a change they are generally willing to help.
If none of that works for you right now then start where you are. Come here every day for support and ideas. Roxie gave you great advice ~ start with getting out garbage. Just do what you are able. Sit and reach to whatever is around you. Pick a basic area that you need and clear that area. Like around the toilet or refrigerator. Take small chunks of time, 5 - 15 minutes, and take a break.
Don't compare yourself to what others are accomplishing here. We each work at our own pace and are at different levels of hoard, energy and resources. When you come here you will be cheered on for whatever YOU have accomplished that day. If you're proud of it then we are proud of you! If you're totally down, we get it, and you'll find compassionate responses.
Also try not to focus on the big picture and depth of the damage. That is just too overwhelming and upsetting. It saps our energy and makes us feel hopeless. Accept that it took years to get there and is going to take a very long time to get out. Baby steps. You CAN do this by yourself for now if that's the way it has to be. At some point when things are more clear take another look at asking for help. At that point you won't feel so much shame because you'll know you did what was in your power. After we do all we can there's a sense of pride and accomplishment. Hold that tight. It might not look great to someone else but we know the effort we put in.
Welcome to our group Joanna!! :)
Mare
Posted: 06 August 2013 - 11:10 AM
Joana you have come to the right place here, and we will never judge you or call you filthy or anything else, we want you to be kind to yourself and we understand hoarding and hoarders, you are not alone and are not the only one with a huge mountain it seems like. It can get better!
It may be a slow process but it is entirely possible. One thing you can do is go to the home page and click on NATIONAL RESOURCES at the top of the page, then click on your state to find people who specialize in cleaning and organizing in your area.
You can email them for an estimate, and they will work with you at your own pace. It may seem expensive, I am not sure of the cost but it is usually between 2500 and 3500 for a weekend and they get a LOT done. The hardest part will be for you to learn how to let go, but they understand.
Please keep us informed and stay for real support and understanding. Visit the other wheres and see what we are doing, and do join us for a meeting on Tuesdays and Sundays!
Joanna
Posted: 06 August 2013 - 08:19 AM
Yes we do have a cat * sorry to say the litter area is also out of control. It has been for years. Again, I am not proud of this. All I can say is that she is well fed & has plenty of water & is up to date on her shots. The vet gave her a clean bill of health at the end of April. She is 13 and he told me personally that she is in exceptional health for her age. Thank God. It is just my husband, myself & the cat. I pray each day about getting help because it would be healthier for all of us to not live this way. Not to mention, I wouldn't feel like such a vile, profoundly lazy & filthy pig. I do go to counseling. But money is a huge issue. And believe me, this is way more than a 2 person job with one who can't do heavy lifting. Thanks to all who replied for not being judgemental. I already feel mortified about the entire situation.
Mare
Posted: 03 August 2013 - 12:34 AM
I just stopped in to add my support, the ladies gave you good advice and I hope it helps and that you come back for more help, support, and chat!
Roxie
Posted: 25 July 2013 - 03:43 PM
Joanna, yes it is possible. I've been where you are to some extent. I was fortunate to be able to hire professional help but it is expensive (for me two days at around $2500).
There are plenty of folks here working their way out of their situation alone, one step at a time. It can be done. For the moment, if you have grocery bags, grab a bunch and just start filling them with garbage. Set full ones by the door so you can take them to the garbage next time you go out. That's a big first step.
If you have physical limitations, start from a sitting position and just reach any garbage you can and bag it.
If you have live animals in your home, make sure you are taking care of their daily needs: food, fresh water, litter box or walking outside to relieve themselves.
Coming here daily can help you get motivated and keep moving forward. It's not too late.
Tillie
Posted: 24 July 2013 - 11:25 PM
Hi Joanna :) You didn't mention where you are located but at the top of this page is a link to "National Resources". Click on your state to find listings of companies in your area and call for an estimate.
Joanna
Posted: 24 July 2013 - 09:48 PM
I don't even know what to do it is so overwhelming. 2 floors, 3 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms, kitchen, living room, dining room, den -- all completely covered & piled with filth, scum , mold, trash. Yes there are animal feces, spiders , flies. House is on condo property. I can't even believe I live there. I can't make excuses. It got out of hand, I couldn't hack it , got severely depressed & hopeless and we gave up. It would take a crew a year & home would still need repainting, repairs, replaced fixtures & carpet inside. I have not had a raise in 5 yes but can't live this way! Is help possible?
