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Hello everyone.
I have relocated my whole family (my husband and my son) so that we can help my mother to clean up my childhood house. My mother is a breast cancer survivor (had mastecomy), supported two girls(my younger sister and myself) by working 3 jobs at one point. My father was never here to help support my mother physically and financially. She had waited for him to become a husband and father to us for over 20 years and it never happen. My father left my mother offically with divorce after she had her mastectomy procedure; it makes her feel less of a woman. At the same time I got married and moved to Hawaii for 10 years. My house was going down the drain. My mother starting to collect everything she can pick up by the curb and other things that people don't wanted. When I noticed the condition of her mental and teh condition of the house was very unhealthy, I have told my husband that we need to help her or else no one else will. So, when we came back to Texas, there were dead rats, animal feeces smells, molds, and stuffes everywhere. My son has heart condtion that cannot even step foot into the house. Both of my husband and I spend all our life saving over 30 thousand dollars to clean up and remodel most of the. It took us 3 largest city roll-Off dumpster and over 4 months hands on (to save us on the loabor cost)finally get the house clean enough for us to move in. Every other week I have to clean up my mother's fridge and freezer, we have total of 2 fridges and 4 freezers in this house. My mother owns 1 fridge and 4 freezers and they are all packed with food so tight that you can't even see the lights in it. Most of the stuffes are bad and with mold, but she refuse to throw them out, so I have to do9 for her and guess what, it get packed to the top next day. I have thinking about giving up and moving out because both my husband and myself are very mentally, physically and financially drain. But my mother was so upset and threaten to kill herself if we moved out, she told us since she is a such failer on marriage and as mother might as well die then and she pounded her chest so hard with non-stop crying. We stayed, but as summer coming near, her room is packed to the top, only a tiny space on her bed for sleeping. There are bugs starting to come out and my husband is very disgusted about the condition again. He is giving up on her and refuse to stay home on his day off. My son cannot go near the backyard or the kitchen because the smells and bugs. I have not cook in the kitchen for over 2 years because it is full of her stuffes.
My mother before she become this way, she was a lady like person, dress nice and speak proper. She left her family to marry my father against everyoone's advice, included been taken out of my grandparents will that left her with nothing. I know it is a big thing that hit her when my father left her after she had surgery for other women. She stop taking care of herself, wear clothes that are been given to her. I have bought her nice clothes and nice heavy water bras to mask the look after the surgery, but after 10 years she have not use them due to they are too pretty and she is still wear stuffes that have holes. Another words she looks like a homeless person. None of her friends knows her conditons, this is a close community that she try to keep her face up. Anytime if someone try to throw something away they all give it to her, just because they know that my mother would never say no to anything. She worked as night-stocker hardly get any sleep, during teh day she volunteer at the senior center, lion club and help her friends that needs help. Never have any time for this house and us. I want her to be a regular grandmother to my son. Even though she has so much stuffes already, she is still bring more stuffes home everyday and try to sneak into her room without me knowing.
I am so sorry that I have write a such long message. But I've been pushed to the edge and need help. I worked full time and going to school full time too, so we can have a better future that I might be able to help my mother when I am done with my school. However, I still have a year to go and I am just so tired taht feel like to give up everything right now. I am so afraid to leave her but I have my own family to protect. We don't even talk that much anymore.
Please Help Me.
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