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Hoarding Help Message Boards : Motivation Needed? : I feel hopeless about my house
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I feel hopeless about my house

Posted: 01 June 2015 - 02:55 PM
Carol and CM, I thought that you might find the following helpful.

I did a search of the website and found this old thread about the "buddy system."

Many of us on this website have found a buddy system to be helpful in getting us "unstuck," helping us make progress, and often even having fun doing so. Here's one way that it can work . . .

Some of us show up in the chat room. (We just sign in at the "online support group" button). If others also are logged in, then we ask if anyone wants to do some "buddy system cleanup work." Sometimes one other person on chat will join in; sometimes everyone will join in. Those doing the buddy work decide on a fixed amount of time (for instance, fifteen minutes). Each person announces what he/she plans to work on during those fifteen minutes. Then we each set a kitchen timer and go off and work for fifteen minutes. We come back at the agreed upon time and report to each other what we got done. Then we usually chat a bit and then start another round. Maybe we'll decide on another fifteen minute round, or maybe we will have decided we'd all prefer a twenty or thirty minute round. It can be much more pleasant to work together than to work alone. Also, it's nice to have someone "with you" if you hit a rough spot in your work. It can also be a great way to build a few friendships here.

I haven't done buddy work in the chat room recently, but I've done it a lot during the past year, and it has helped me tremendously.

I may be using the chat room more this week than usual. Maybe I'll see you there!
Posted: 16 May 2015 - 04:59 PM
Interesting how many of us are in our 50s. We must stay strong. I believe we must be realizing that this is when we still will have the physical strength to do what needs to be done - and even now it's going to be harder and we're going to tire from time to time. Gail, I send you a virtual hug and shoulder to cry on. That must've felt so awful with the police. I had a situation 3 years ago with a former landlord and several inspections that made me just want to crawl in a hole. And my issues are far from resolved but I'm determined. We can do this. It's going to be okay. Faith - it starts with some spark of faith. I'm thankful I stumbled onto this site today.
Posted: 12 May 2015 - 10:06 PM
I have recently realized I am a hoarder. I am 51 yrs old and I am going through a divorce after 33 years of marriage. I know why I am hoarding but can't seem to get a handle on it. Every time I try I give up because it's so depressing and overwhelming. No matter how much I work on it it doesn't seem to even put a dent in it. I can't afford a professional. I am so stuck. I have no friends and family I don't even let my family in. I need a lot of help but don't know where to turn.
Posted: 29 January 2014 - 03:45 PM
A thought for you, you will have to evaluate if it has merit or usefulness.

Somewhere I have a book called FLOW which I have not read. But I think about the word and I think about movement. In reading other books, I have seen mentioned several times the idea that the only constant we can expect in life is change.

It seems to me that we, as hoarders, put ourselves in opposition to a natural principle of flow and change; attempting to fight a battle we cannot win. Thinking about a reason for you to want to change for your own sake, It just makes me wonder if all the change coming to your life is having to manifest in your body because of unwillingness to let things go?

I am having to think about things like this for my own life as I face my unwillingness to break down my own Hoover Dam blocking the flow of things in my own life.
Posted: 29 January 2014 - 01:45 PM
Am feeling exasperated too. I "understand" why and I "know" the steps but just can't seem to find the strength. No matter how much I progress, my daughter still says it is not enough. To clean for company to come over? I have no friends or family in the area. I have tried to develop friendships... everyone I do know is so busy just trying to keep up with their families and homes. Yes, yes... I should want to do it for myself... but I am so depressed that even the things I used to love to do seem to have lost meaning. I can't take anti-depressants because I take soooo many medications for MS.

Thank God I have kept myself from replacing my dear sweet kitty who disappeared almost three years ago. It would be so easy to replace her but I know that would add financial strain to ensure she has proper medical care, flea drops etc. etc. I am still paying off medical bills from my other three pets so I have NO business bringing in any more. Thanks to Cory and the support I get here and watching shows, I have been able to stay strong there.

Anyway, am trying to go back to what I know has worked for me in the past. One of which is posting pics of before and afters (even though I am just in the before stage). I am going to post them to the Facebook Hoarders Support page because, as far as I can tell, pics can't be posted here. Hopefully, by putting it "out there" at least accountability will give me motivation to start and keep going.
Posted: 28 January 2014 - 07:34 PM
I think we have here the seeds of an "Intake Reduction Practice".
We tell the thrift store clerks we are only 23 and not eligible for the senior discount. That way we leave with less stuff.
Posted: 19 January 2014 - 11:13 AM

Please join us in the Daily Chat. I think most of us are older (I just turned 62) and are very fearful of being *found out*. We have been doing what helps us feel safe and protected in the way we see it. Some of us have kids who we don't want to have to burden with our hoards after we die. And the depression and lack of energy is a constant struggle.

You're in good company here and we can support each other because we've all been where you are and are climbing out.

You've just suffered one of the biggest traumas, being visited by authorities. So that's over. Now you can begin the process of positive change. :)
Posted: 18 January 2014 - 11:32 AM
Hi Gail :D
We would love to have you join us in the thread "The Daily Chat".
There we can help motivate you and tell you the steps to take to get digging out.
Sunday we have the "ONLINE SUPPORT GROUP" just click on the link to the right on this page to join in.
We really do understand your situation and will not judge you. We care. :D
Posted: 18 January 2014 - 11:17 AM
I'm a 56yo who lives in a hoard of stuff. I was just visited by the cops today who were called by my neighbors. I sort of wish I could dig a hole & die. Theres so much stuff & I feel so tired. I suffer from deprssion which has gotten worse since I live alone (like who'd want to live with me) My comfort is making things for people & sleeping & eating & having a safe place where no one visits. I feel exhausted just looking at my hoard. I grew up with an alcoholic disorganized hoarding mom & have never really known how to keep things organized - even when I had less stuff. My loneliness & depression have gotten worse as I've aged. Today, after the police visit, I have really been brought low. My secret is out. & I'm a pariah. I wish I could die but not until this house is reamed out & sold. Please - Help me & especially HELP MY SON who may someday have to deal with this dirty secret of mine. Thanks for listening - Gail.
Hoarding Help Message Boards : Motivation Needed? : I feel hopeless about my house

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