My younger daughter just moved home with us for the next 4 months. I now have a daily reminder of why I have to kick this.
She is only 20, but I have known almost since I realized I was a hoarder that she is one too. No one in my family has had the chromosome 14 test, but I would be shocked if we didn't have a genetic component.
My great grandfather was a poor farmer from a well off father who just had way too many kids. When he and his wife died my family cleaned the house out and it took days. There was everything from spoiled food stockpiled in the cellar to piles of brand new things in boxes that my successful grandfather had showered on his parents who then "saved them for good". Every book either of them had ever owned...
Dumpster and moving trucks followed by a two day farm auction.
Just realized this could get really long, and you all know the score. my grandfather was an enabler to both his hoarding parents and his hoarding wife, my mom has a milder case, but her brother is full blown wife threatening to leave, daughter having panic attacks when she thinks about the estate. My brother struggles, and of course there is me. My generation was raised by a large, extended group of family that equated stuff with love. My older daughter was the first child in her generation and they all literally filled her room with toys. The pile of stuffed animals was bigger than the double canopy bed at one point.
But she can get rid of stuff. My "little" one can't.
When she left for school in the fall, her stuff barely fit in her car. I pointed out that she could not get more stuff and took photos to remind her. She left her closet here 60% full. After Christmas break, she left her closet completely full. And when she came home, she had to ask a friend to transport a huge bin of shoes and a stuffed contractor trash bag full of clothes.
Yesterday I told her she needs to step out of thrift stores, and of course she agreed.
Today she left for work grumpy because her room is a mess and she can barely move in there for all the bags of clothes. I told her I understand and I will do anything I can to help her.
I'm thinking about suggesting we attack shoes this weekend. They are one of her weaknesses.
I still have too any because I bought a bunch really cheaply at goodwill and because a long time ago the style I usually wore went on a huge sale and I bought 6 pairs in three colors. Then my life changed and I stopped wearing that style very often. I've managed to stop buying shoes just because they are cute or a great deal, but I still haven't managed to purge all the "back up" shoes that I already have.
My brain can't get past "but, eventually some of these shoes will wear out, and I will need new shoes, and I will have to buy them if I don't keep these!"
But I love my daughter. And what is stronger is if giving up the shoes will help her, the shoes have to go.