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Hoarding Help Message Boards : Why Do You Hoard? (NEW!) : I am the mother of a hoarder
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I am the mother of a hoarder

Posted: 13 June 2014 - 01:26 PM
Hi Margaret :)

I hope you and your daughter will join us here on the messageboards and in the online support groups.
A very good book for you to read is "Digging Out".
A very good book for your daughter to read is "Buried In Treasures".
Actually you should read both these books.
They are very helpful in understanding the thought processes that a person who hoards goes through. Thinking that keeps them paralized and unmotivated.
The books address things you can do to help her and more importantly the things that will hurt any progress.
This website is for anybody who has issues with keeping too much stuff or need to develope skills to clean and keep their homes clean.
And for people like us, who have someone in our lives who has hoarding, clutter or squalor problems.

Welcome to our community. :)
Posted: 12 June 2014 - 09:54 PM
My daughter has been through many awful experiences in her life, and I don't know if that has contributed to her hoarding or not. When she was only six years old she spent the night at a friend's house so she could play with their kids. I found out about a month later that she had been molested that night. She didn't tell me, because the man had her convinced that if she told her dad and I that we wouldn't love her anymore. She eventually told her gramma and that is how we found out. Three years ago my daughter had numerous health problems and had four different surgeries. Two years ago her husband was driving home from work when a man in oncoming traffic fell asleep at the wheel and hit my son-in-law head on at 60 mph. That had to cut the roof of his vehicle off in order to get him out and fly him to the nearest trauma center. His pelvis was broken into three pieces, his left femur was broken, his left elbow was shattered, his left eye socket was broken, his lung was punctured, and he had nerve damage in his right leg. We had everybody and his brother praying for John. The doctor told my daughter that he had never had a patient with that extensive of injuries who lived through it before. My daughter always collected too many things, but after the accident it got way out of control. It got so I stopped going to her house, because it is too overwhelming. Every piece of furniture is piled up half way to the ceiling with stuff. In front of the furniture there is stacks and stacks of things. There is only a small path through the room and it is a fairly large room. The only place to sit is the desk chair, but the desk is all piled up also. If you touch one thing it causes an avalanche of stuff to fall. She has four dogs and they are not potty trained. The worse part is I have a grandson who is living amongst all this. My greatest fear is that someone will find out and call CPS, and they would take my grandson away. I have literally spent 8 hours at a time cleaning her kitchen, to only come back and it looks just the same again. I am a senior citizen now, and I can't keep up with it. I am at my wits end. My son is home for a visit now, and he constantly complains about it to me, and so does my husband. I keep telling them that I can only make myself do things, I can't make anyone else do anything. It is fairly obvious that my daughter is depressed, and she doesn't seem to be able to get organized, get rid of anything, or have an inkling of how to start. She also has asthma so having all this stuff everywhere doesn't help. I could use any kind of advice and encouragement. I just found this site today, and I told my daughter about it. I am hoping she will join the Sunday meeting.
God bless,
Hoarding Help Message Boards : Why Do You Hoard? (NEW!) : I am the mother of a hoarder

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