The Rubber Duck Hoard
I just wrote the reason why I have a large collection of rubber ducks. I started collecting in order to "keep" my grandson in my home, when he moved on with my daughter when she married. So part of my hoarding is an attempt to keep certain people near. Obviously, that doesn't work. I have the rubber ducks, but my grandson has moved on to where he was supposed to be.

Why did I keep so many clothes
Well, for a little while, it made some sense. When I turned 60, on that birthday, I prayed and asked G-D for weight loss for my birthday. I am 5'4" Then, I weighed 237. By my 61st birthday, I weighed 187, and by my 62nd birthday, I weighed 137. I really didn't think I could weigh less, so I quit dieting, but by my 64th birthday, I weighed 125. I have maintained a fluctuating weight of 114-119 since then. So I slowly got rid of the clothes. It took a while to realize that I really was too small for some of the clothes -- especially favorites. Now, I am needing to get rid of a few things I bought that I bought too small.

Why did I keep all the toys?
An attempt to keep the children and grandchildren in our home. Like the rubber ducks, it didn't work. I only have a few fur toys now -- just enough.

Why do I keep all the papers? (I am going through them all now)
Laziness.
Putting off what I needed to do for another day.
Love of knowledge and the insane hope I could gain it by osmosis.
Thinking I would learn it all eventually.
Thinking that when I learned it, I would be wiser.

Why do I think I need two to four of everything?
Something may break, so I think I need a backup.
A couple weeks ago, I got on Amazon.com and bought some stuff. Seriously...I am So Serious!... I didn't even realize until they started coming that I had bought five solar plastic bee thing-a-ma-jiggers, all different, four of which have come, and one more is coming. Ridiculous. I thought I had better control, but I don't yet -- obviously!

Well enough for now.

Some possible reasons:
1. One of my most horrifying memories was coming home from play to find Mother burning my black dolls, which were gifts, two handmade and irreplacable. (Learned that day that we were moving to MS, and she didn't want me taking them there because we were white.)
2. We were very poor, lacking decent food and personal items after that move, until I married 11 years later.
3. But really, the hoarding started after my first husband's accidental death.
4. I got control of the hoarding after three years and did alright until I became very unhappy with the church I'd attended all my life. At that time, the hoarding slowly restarted.
5. I was excommunicated from that church, and the hoarding got far worse.
6. I immediately started cleaning up the hoarding upon retiring and am still working on it nearly daily. I have gotten rid of about 83% of the stuff now.

I would love to get to the bottom of the whys!