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Jean Ray, "handling" a hoarder can be a very tricky thing to do. I suggest you read up a lot on the subject and get the daughter to do so, also.
It is true that you cannot help a hoarder until the hoarder wants to change. But there are ways to encourage (in a positive not punitive or judgmental way) the hoarder toward a desire to change.
Have daughter read Matt Paxton's The Secret Lives of Hoarders for a start. He has many good ideas for intervention that actually work, and shares examples of what backfires. Judgmental, critical, demanding intervention absolutely backfires. A hoarder already lacks self-esteem and is often the harshest judge of himself or herself. Hoarders get into denial of the actual conditions and literally do not see it. It's self-protection. Hoarding defends against unwanted feelings and fears.
There are posters on here who live with hoarders who offer great advice. Tillie is one. Read, be kind, and good luck! Post any time you want input.
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