Tatoulia, we crossed.

I'm sorry about your friend's son.

Did you tell us about this upcoming trip? I am blanking on it.

Had a good day with the boys yesterday, but Bean said "I wish you had a marble run" and I said"I do!" But then I couldn't find it. I remember discussing the marble runs (plural!) with the kids, and downsizing to one set. I can visualize the set. I can't find where I put it!

This sort of thing is so frustrating. I guess I should be happy because it used to happen almost daily and now it is far, but I am still frustrated. One of the joys of clearing out the hoard has been those moments when I could easily lay hands on something that was in usable condition. (It is nice to have a place where I can say that, because I think"normal" people take that as granted.)

I am now distracted from everything else I need to do by a need to find the marble run.

But today is a school day, and as always - I am not ready, so off I go.

Lila, you are working through a lot of really hard things.any progress is good.

I only like snow when it is deep enough to really cover the ground and I get to stay home. Today's snow just turned into rain all day.

I did get some work done in the pottery studio though - threw ten new things, trimmed and/or burnished 5, and finished off a bag of reclaimed clay. Only a couple hundred more to go...

Tomorrow I have my boys.

Sending you love and support, Lila. I am so sorry you are going through this. We are here for you!

Good to hear from you CM and sending you congratulations on making the decision on the yellow tool box! Say goodbye to it for me.

SubC that is terrible news about the kiln. I hope it's an easy and quick fix.

I did nothing all weekend. Not proud of that. Friday after work I went to visiting hours for a friend whose son died. I stayed about an hour and a half. The family let me sit with them since I was sitting alone and did not have anyone to talk to. It was very sad.

Yesterday, I hung out at BF's former business. The owner invited me to have coffee with her and we had a great time. I ran a few errands today and did a few loads of laundry but I am nowhere ready for my trip. Maybe tomorrow.

Tmr after work a coworker is coming over. He'll feed the cats for me for two days and then my friend will come in and feed the cats. So I'll have to force myself to deal with the remaining straggling papers.

Snow! Argh. I hope you like snow. I really want spring.

SubC, that is a good thought about, do I want the connection/reminder of my dogs when I get a new dog? Or would a fresh start be better? I am going to think about that. I have always kept and passed on everything to each dog. But have never had so much grief and pain over a loss. So I will give it some thought, about keeping or giving away the crate, among other things.

I went to church. I am barely sleeping at night and am to the point it is affecting my thoughts and ability to be coherent. I am trying to rest today.

However I did take the time to sort, discard, and consolidate my meds down to about half. Much more room on the vanity now.

I am also putting together a box of Teen's things that have been in my bedroom for a long time. I am boxing them up and will put her name on it and put it in the storage outside room. She can take it when she is able. I don't want them in my bedroom anymore, even if she ends up throwing it all away.

I am tired of crying.

Good morning.

Empty spaces are unsettling. Change is unsettling. But also, people have different comfort levels for open space and visual stimuli. I think I might have talked about "bee space" on here before. Bees are most comfortable in spaces that are about 1/4" wide. If you want to get more wax out of your hive, you space the frames out more widely, because the bees will build the wax comb up to close the space down to 1/4". If a frame is closer than 1/4" to something else, the bees will cement the opening closed with a varnish-like material called propolis.

Dh hates the way I pile everything around me on the couch, but it makes me feel cozy.

I think you are doing a good job. I want to give you a thought to sit with about the dog crate though. Somewhere there is a person who could probably use the dog crate. Maybe they are about to adopt a dog. It doesn't fold up, so it uses a lot of space. Getting a new dog is expensive, so the cost of a new crate (which you might be able to get used, even free) should not be a deciding factor. (If you can't afford a crate, you can't afford a dog - save up the future dog food bill for a while) so, emotionally, do you want the connection to and reminder of your dog when you get a new dog? Because if that is going to be a negative, or even neutral, you should probably bless someone else with the crate when you are ready.

Yesterday I did go back outside and I cleared all the blackberry canes that were coming up in the grape arbor fence. I need to wire the grapes - I never got to that after Bean and I planted them and put the posts up last year. It's fine because they put most of their energy into growing new roots the first year, but this year they will hopefully put off vines. The vines will need to be tied to wires.

I'm a little sore, but not as sore as I expected. I haven't done my yoga yet.

Today will hopefully be a home pottery studio day. I'm having a lazy morning, but the rain (snow at first) is supposed to start in two hours, so I should get moving and get all my chores done before that.

hello again. I am working on my bedroom and posting items in the Daily Tally. Everything I look at reminds me of something. I hate it. I hope by throwing a lot away or donating things, I will stop having so many things that make me sad when I look at them.

I am just forcing myself to work on things. I also took a walk. One thing I am struggling with is there is a plastic dog kennel in my bedroom which is big and fits (for short periods) a 90 pound dog. I used to have my dogs go in it if people were coming over who were afraid of dogs, or if my dog was barking. It was only used occasionally for when I needed the living room free of dogs. Now it sits there under the window where it has been for years and somehow I just can't bear to move it out of my room. But part of me wants to. So I am working on clearing off the top and around it. I am not getting rid of it, as I hope to have a dog again someday. It is going to the garage. I am scared of the empty spaces when things leave. Why is that?

Lila, I hope things are going better today.

I did yoga.
I finished removing the part of the fence I had planned to remove this year and replacing it with the portable fence. (I have another length marked for 2026, and will hopefully finish in 2027.)

The sun is shining and I need to go back outside and do SOMETHING to take advantage of the light and recharge my batteries. I am a little sore though.

SubC, I did not do either of my goals and here it is a week later. I did get my hair colored one day. I did take some walks. I spent most of the week working (35 hours) and crying (most of the time at home, every day) and I tried to do a few things with my grandkids here and there.

I am making travel plans because I have a lot of airline miles, a companion certificate, and a work-paid trip coming up. I want to get away. But I also am looking around and thinking, this is not home anymore. Time to start seriously decluttering for when I move out, or whatever happens.

Goals for today -
work on my bedroom and bathroom
take a walk, maybe work in the yard a little
maybe clean a bit

I ran the dishwasher last night
I have a load of laundry in right now
I threw out some old stuff from the fridge

Will catch up on posts later today.

Good morning!

Tatoulia good luck with the papers.

CM, good plan on the toolbox and exercise. I hope they both carry through for you!

Yes, with the "fast fashion" I am talking about the poorly constructed usually synthetic, usually thin clothing that snags, runs, loses seams and hems, wears through easily and doesn't keep it's shape or seem designed to match anything. Also it feels like nothing has sleeves or skirts long enough to cover you butt if you bend over, all the pants are cropped, and the women's knits are sausage casings.

I had a frustrating day yesterday. I forgot to take the new mixer to school, and so of course the existing mixer burned out part way through mixing the casting slip.

Then I discovered my (school) kiln is not working. Based on the error code I think (hope) it needs new elements/a thermocouple, but I don't know how long it will take to schedule the service, and
At minimum I will need to unload the entire unfinished load of greenware before it can be serviced. There are only 9 more weeks of school, so this is not good timing.

I was so tired and frustrated when I got home that I made bad choices - eating unhealthy food with wine for dinner and then following it up with a lot of chocolate. Two steps forward, one step back. At least at this moment I can see that the forward steps appear to be outnumbering the backward slides in my life.

This weekend I am going to try really hard to STAY HOME. Today is supposed to be cloudy with 40s to 50s, so I'm going to try to get some garden prep done, and tomorrow will be cold and rainy, so I want to have a pottery day. Plus I have stuff to do for school (as always)

Last night I watched a very funny YouTube video on how to fix your life in seven days. I don't think it was supposed to be funny, but "day one" was "clean and organize your space".

Hope everyone had a good equinox day yesterday. It was a more normal day here after that weird day Wednesday when there was a ton of wind and biting cold.

My roommate had her first eye surgery on Tuesday and is doing well. There are a lot of times for eyedrops she has to keep track of, lifting and bending restrictions, and misc. There are a few things I help her do, like I go along on the dog walk so I can hold the leash to keep the 75 lb., strong husky dog from pulling her if he gets excited. Which is good for me because it is a chance to get exercise.

I now have a pair of shoes for playing pickleball at the senior center. Might go Monday if it works out with roommate's eyedrop stuff because she would like to go to the center also even if pickleball is not her thing. If not, perhaps the following Monday. Mondays are when there is casual play and help for newbies.

Exercise is what I need to keep shaking off the consequences of winter inactivity and feel like I'm rebooting my health and getting my brain to be more efficient, reducing stress, and the like.

Been doing little decluttering tasks as a lead-in to larger ones. Can't remember if I mentioned the tool box I dislike. It's kind of silly - I ended up with 3 toolboxes. There were the large and small blue ones I've had for years which had sometimes kept supplies for art classes at the university or just at home. Then they ended up being for tools again. Sometimes in my vehicle. They are sturdy and work well. But a few years ago for some reason I decided I needed to get this yellow medium sized toolbox for the back room here. But after using it awhile, I found it annoying because the tray insert kept falling down to the bottom.

So, I've decided I'm definitely getting rid of the yellow toolbox (which will be 2 cubic feet gone for the box itself). The tools I will need to go through. I think with the nice weather I'll end up taking the big and small blue toolboxes and all tools outside and sorting through. Quite likely there are duplicates that don't need to stay. Hoping what tools I keep will fit nicely in the blue boxes. Probably one or the other box will end up in my vehicle and the other in the house here but they'll be streamlined and easier to deal with.

Other stuff - I dislike fast fashion too, if you mean the flimsy polyester stuff that seems ubiquitous. It seems like society is just flooded with clothing more than the entire population could ever wear. I have certain things in mind that I go to the thrift store hoping to find but it's all that sleazy ugly snaggy-fabric crap. Even the colors are gross. And a lot of it is too revealing for my taste. Current fashion and I are out of sync in many ways. Besides the cheap stuff, I don't like traditional business wear either, or anything like that. Have pretty much given up on dresses too, for various reasons.

My casual style suits me, but with all the changes in trends, manufacturing, and retail, it's getting hard to maintain. When things wear out, I like to replace them with something basically the same, and I frequently can't find it anymore. Used to be for years I could always find something familiar. And just like with Joann Fabrics, this development goes against my newer desire not to keep so much "stock" in my living quarters, only buying what is needed when things wear out. But when you can't source stuff, it may be necessary - within reason - to "hoard" SOME if you can locate it. It really may NOT be readily available anymore. Sigh.

Hi everyone! Not much to report here. I canceled my pedicure for Saturday as I am feeling a little bunched up for time.

Would love to make some progress this weekend. Even with the papers. Not sure if I have enough stuff to go to goodwill or if that's where I should be focusing my efforts right now.

Good morning!

Happy equinox!

In honor of today being all about balance, I have slept late and am having a relaxing morning. Also I have an absurd 15 item "to do" list. - balance. - lol!

I am feeling a little better about myself than I did on Tuesday. I had a really good day at school yesterday.

Nothing to report really, I'll come back later if progress happens. I have a pottery class tonight with raku firing.

Fast fashion makes me sad, too, SubC. Good work on finding an immersion blender! I bought one for my mother years ago, and I bought a good one as I suspected she'd never use it and it would become mine. I only use it occasionally and I'm so glad I have it! I do not have a countertop blender. In general, I'm not a fan of kitchen appliances although( I do have a toaster. I've only had one microwave ever and I finally got rid of it because I never used it. When my last Mr Coffee died, I went back to using my 30+ year old melitta. Works like a charm.

I did some clean up this AM. Still more to go. I'm tired. Going to go to bed with the kitties, right after I start the dishwasher.

CM, I hope all goes well with the eye doctor.

Tatoulia, good job catching up on paperwork, and I am happy for you on the clear out.

I visited a new goodwill outlet near DD's work after I returned the boys yesterday. It mostly had the effect of making me feel sad about fast fashion, waste, and consumerism in our society. I had recently been to target with ddil - everything that looks so cute at target looks so sad at goodwill.

But, I did find an immersible blender. I use those for mixing slip and they are a long term consumable because they are not meant for that and the motor burns out every few years. (Then I take them to appliance recycling) I was out of them at school and down to two at home, so I took one of mine to school a couple of weeks ago. This will replace that one, so no net in.

Then when I got home, Dh was making dinner, so I cleaned up from my day with the boys a bit and we ate together, and by the time I did chores, I no longer had any energy left for school planning, so I am back to trying to get ready for school in the morning before school. Plus I didn't actually finish cleaning up from yesterday.

Basically my house, barn, and body are in worse shape than before I left on vacation, which is quickly eroding the mental and emotional benefits. Gotta turn that around.

I worked on papers tonight. Didn't spend a full hour but did do some and I have a big bag to take to work shredding tmr. Also put in two months of expense reports at work and two months of rx reimbursement. So all around some good things. Did BF's filing. His mail comes here and I have the rent checks for his place and got those deposited. I've been behind.

I've got good motivation. In general. Trying to figure out if I could gather up enough for another goodwill trip this coming weekend. Seems like a long shot. I still cannot get over how easy it ended up being for me this weekend. I didn't stress too much and made solid progress. Stuff I never thought I could get rid of. Poof. Gone. And it's good.

Goodnight, friends.

Wishing you and your roommate well tomorrow, CM I'm not an early bird, either, although I am envious of those who ca wake up early. Keep doing what you can do to declutter. I know how good it feels.

SubC welcome home. You shocked me into reality when you said that you have ten weeks of school left.

I am going to put on some music and a timer and work on these massive piles of paper for an hour.

Happy St. Patrick's Day

Hello ladies, hope you are well and feeling better everyday if you have been sick.

I am fine but the Spring weather has been so temperamental here. We had the terrible blowing winds and dust late in the week. Sad news of a huge pileup with fatalities in the western part of the state on I-70. Then after warm days today and into tomorrow, there is going to be another storm Tuesday night which may have snow but it shouldn't accumulate. I'll be glad when things stabilize. We're still in that drought from last year in this area, with city watering restrictions that affect my roommate's gardening and lawn care.

The wind affects my ability to do some of my decluttering if it involves carrying stuff outside of the house, etc. but indoors I can still do. We did get the things dealt with for the termite man to do his inspection, so glad that is over. He is really nice, but it's embarrassing when the house can't really be in tip top shape just yet and one has to hope he doesn't notice or judge too much. Each year the garage has improved, though, and the house will. Poco a poco...

Tomorrow morning very early, I take my roommate for the first eye surgery. The planning for this has been stressful, because the place is a huge practice and their scheduling coordination and communication leaves a lot to be desired. Originally they had scheduled her for the wrong surgeon, they discovered it and called so we got it all rescheduled. Only to find out this past Thursday, with less than a week to go, that the times were wrong! And it seemed like no one wanted to admit to poor communication. I was pretty upset because the time changed to the early morning which is a lot harder. Neither roommate nor I are morning people. Sigh.

I'm thinking I may look into going to a different place for my own eye care needs. I hadn't been in since before Covid anyway, and I guess it was during that time that this practice became so huge that it's not very user friendly to navigate anymore. And their newer offices are pretty far to drive. If I can find someplace close by that has the services I need and takes my insurance, I may just switch.

So anyway, I may be tied up with helping roommate do stuff and all; if I don't post often don't worry that I'm not okay, I'm probably just busy. Her second eye will be done in early April.

Hoping and praying for things to go smoothly - stress glitches everything for me, including any hope of making better progress on decluttering. It takes so long to reboot after things get snarled up. It gets to the point where it's hard to think, or even have motivation to do anything practical. My brain sort of freezes.

Take care!

Good morning!

Happy st. Patrick's day!

Tatoulia, congratulations on a successful clean out!

I got home exhausted from the drive yesterday, and the time change and early morning are not helping. Nor is Mr. Kitty - who missed us and tried to wake us up for pets multiple times last night. I also forgot that I left my house messy. I have a bunch of laundry to wash from the trip, but also several baskets to put away from before the trip, and the counter of doom is buried again. Dsil is sick, so I have to meet Dd at her work to get the boys which means leaving the house an hour early. And return them to her there, so overall with driving, an 11 hour day. It's only an hour extra of driving total though, and I get a little more time with the boys.

I'm hoping to have enough energy at the end of it to get my week in order for school.

On the bright side, I did not gain as much weight on my trip as I feared. Birdy apparently kept me pretty active.

Sounds like a successful vacation, Subc. I hope the feelings last!

I reserved a car, had everything ready to go including two items I added today. It all went very smoothly. All household items with the exception of one pair of shoes and one pair of boots. I am thrilled with what I accomplished!

I'm back and have showered. It's very warm here today and quite humid, which isn't great for me. Today I tackle papers.

Good morning!

Lila, how did it go on your goals?

Tatoulia, I'm glad you are better and making your space more your own.

Today we leave Birdy's house. He has been a delight! I am awake too early, but also have slept in for my time zone.

Tomorrow morning I will find out how hard this has been on my fitness goals.

Last night we went to a "nerds at night" market (shout out CM) and I bought a bunch of small to tiny pieces of unframed art (prints, not originals) - which I am not going to count as items, and a wooden plaque to hang in my classroom, and a tiny pot (which I will) I also rolled the dice at a booth and got a free sack token for D&D. (Also, not an "item" - going in my classroom box.

I am feeling ready to get back to my house and my garden and the last ten weeks of the school year after my vacation. We'll see if that feeling survives the nine hour drive home.

I am so proud of myself!!! I have so much ready to go. I love my Rubbermaid pitcher by I haven't made iced tea in several years so no need to keep it. I also have a very nice, large stew pot that I to not need. I am making space for myself. I need to get up tmr and reserve a car and head over to goodwill.

I'm doing it! I have two heavy bags. I'm able to tell myself, just because it belonged to mom, it doesn't mean I need to keep it. Ditto presents from friends or even mom. I'm feeling so much better. Have opened up valuable shelving and was able to put away some things in the kitchen and in the dining room closet. Also have a pair of brand new shoes that I decided I'm just not going to wear again. I think I'm beyond my ‘wearing heels' stage and if we end up retiring overseas, we will not end up in a place where I'm going to need to wear heels. We'll either be someplace with good public transportation (and thus no heels) or in the alps. So I can skip keeping those.

I'm doing it. Also got a walk in. The currency exchange was closed before its posted hours so I still need to get some cash for my upcoming trip. I did go to Switzerland with no cash but I think for this overseas trip I should have a little cash. I ran into an issue when trying to send postcards and buy postage stamps and they didn't accept credit cards and I didn't have cash.

So I'm feeling so strong for taking charge of the things in my house.

Thank you for the love and concern, Lila and Subc. Definitely much better now and can eat and everything.

My place started to bug me with all the extra stuff. I started getting really bothered by it while sick and so I am working on it today and I'm really proud of myself. I'm doing it. Tough decisions and all have one big bag of heavy stuff getting ready to go.

Lila I was feeling alone this week, too. Some of it was due to being so sick for so long. And being cooped up in my house. I went for a walk last night and bought milk for my coffee. I had my first cup of coffee in a week today! I'm so sorry that you are experiencing this. We go through these phases in life and I hope that yours is a short phase. Here to help in any way that I can.

I have this thing I've been doing for just a week. I'm going stuff that future me will appreciate. When I was sick I finally found the strength to empty the dishwasher only to discover that I had already done it! And it felt like such a gift for myself. So now all day long when I don't feel like doing something, I think about how future me will be so happy that I'd done it. So I didn't feel like going out to get milk last night but I did so that this morning's version of myself could be happy.

So this little mind game is helping me. Whatever I take care of today to get ready to make some donations will definitely help me tomorrow.

My dear CM I am not up to date in reading the posts. I hope you are doing well!

Saturday post.

I am home today and have very low energy and low motivation. But, I would like to get my desk finished. I also would like to/need to clear off my master bathroom vanity. I know I just recently sorted all the pills. But I have more pills than any person should have (mostly prescriptions). I am sure some of them are expired. Others can be consolidated. But there is stuff almost completely covering the vanity, so something has to give.

Those are my two goals.

I would like to also color my hair but I doubt I have the energy for that today.

I will try and take a 15-20 minute walk.

You sound like an awesome MIL, SubC.

Tatoulia, I hope you are getting better.

What am I doing today. Well, it's my day off.

- unloaded and loaded the dishwasher
- took out trash, then brought the empty trash bins back from the curb

I have been working on my bedroom, which you know if hard for me. I decided to work on my desk and office chair, which have been piled with stuff.

- sorted out trash, filled a whole bag and took it outside to the trash can
- folded blankets, put one away, put two on my bed til I figure out where they go
- folded clothing, put dirty clothes in the basket
- stacked books on the bed to find a place for them
- stacked "keep" papers in a paper sorter
- donated a few things, put a few things away
- put some things in a box and asked 2 friends if they are interested in buying them

Everything is hard but I am doing it. I also went to a friend's yesterday and brought 2 bags of dog treats for their dog. I am not counting that in the daily tally.

I will keep working.

Good morning - awake too early at birdy's house!

Tatoulia, I am glad for your nurse friend!

Lila, hang in there. I know you will be sad for a while. Pour your love into your grandchildren! They are right there.

Dh and ds have been working on the bathroom ds is putting in his basement. They almost have the shower done. Today they are going out to buy tile in the morning. They are hoping to have the shower, vanity, and floor done by tomorrow night.

It is hard for Birdy to not have access to his father when he can hear his voice, but I am playing with him. Basically, that is what I do all day - play with Birdy, read to Birdy, change Birdy, and talk to ddil. I am loving it.

Ddil cooks and cleans and feeds everyone. She is also switching over all the decor in the house to spring.

Ds came upstairs and looked at us and said to me "I've got a quote I bet people don't hear often: ‘I can't wait until my mother in law comes so I can do my spring cleaning!' "

I am resigned to the food situation. I have no willpower. Yesterday she brought me a warm brownie with dark chocolate melting out of it. Then she spent almost two hours cooking a gorgeous vegetarian meal. They are not vegetarian. What can I do? I will start again when I get home.

Are you feeling any better today, Tatoulia? I am worried about you too.

I went to work (volunteer part) this morning, got stood up for a meeting so decided to come home. I had asked TotsDad to put our large dog kennel away in the garage, as seeing it all the time is making me even sadder. He has put it off for a couple of days, so I decided to just do it myself today. It is very heavy, so I took 2 lighter pieces to the garage first. Then I spent about a half hour trying to get one part unhooked/disconnected from a bigger part, which was a major headache and almost had me in tears. But just now I got it apart. I am sitting down for a rest and then I will take the last 3 pieces, in 3 trips, downstairs to the garage.

All of the removal of dog things makes me incredibly sad. I hope to one day have dogs again. Not now.

Someone gave me a bag of books and booklets and it was n my office. Today I sorted them and have a small pile to keep and the rest will be getting donated to the local library with the other bags of books from home. I do not count the office purge in the Daily Tally. I only count items from home. And none of these books are coming home with me. The ones I kept will find a place on my office shelf.

I don't know what else to do with myself, but will probably try to clean up the kitchen a bit and maybe work on my bedroom, and take those bags of books to my car as well as my filled donate box, so I can drop those off.

This is the first time in my life I have been so alone (TotsFam lives downstairs but I am upstairs alone) and the first time in 35 years that I have had no one/nothing to take care of, feed, pour my love into, etc. Losing my dog has accentuated the loss of my other dogs and the loss of Teen, who is now almost 20 and is still living but I have not seen or spoken to in 7 months, and is not coming back. I am sad.

I'm sorry you are sad, Lila. We are here for you.

Your worry is very much appreciated, SubC. I find that to be so loving and I feel so vulnerable when I am sick. I think if I need the er I will call an ambulance. It's hard to get a cab since they don't answr the phones. I have had a few cabbies give me their phone numbers, so I should put them in one spot. I do not take uber or Lyft; Personal decision.

I am very ill. Still have so much undone laundry. It's terrible in here. But my cats are fed and doing well I was able to work today from home. I tried to have some broth but that did not work. My friend who is a nurse is keeping close tabs on me. I have to report my input and output. lol.

Ttyl. Sorry I'm only skimming the postsvv

hi friends,

I took the day off, ran errands, did 2 loads of laundry.

I also have been sorting. I really thought I could never get rid of anymore books but I have put at least 18 into the donate box in the past couple days. I am terribly sad, and things have a lot less draw/attachment at this moment. I am being careful not to recklessly get rid of things I might regret later, but I know I don't care about these specific books. I have been donating and throwing out a few other things as well.

I also am doing things like spending a bit of time with the grandkids, picking up small branches and piles of leaves in the yard, loading and unloading the dishwasher, and sorting out the fridge.

Also, yesterday at work I did a major purge of many piles of paperwork on my desk and shelves and filled up my whole office trash can with papers. I also got some hanging file folders from the main office and put together a file sorting system for the papers I need to keep, and filed them. My desk, which is u shaped with 3 surfaces, is clear now.

I also downloaded an app for walking, which shows nearly trails and how long and how hard or easy they are, and went to a short easy one while I was out today and walked to clear my head. I am very tired and grieving but I can't just lay in bed and cry anymore, at least not for hours.

Thanks for being a place to come.

Good morning!

I'm glad you're doing at least a little better Tatoulia! I just think "if Tatoulia gets dehydrated or develops pneumonia, who will take her to the emergency room?" I worry. Keep resting.

I got my laundry done last night too!

CM, getting things in order is usually helpful. Use that new empty shelf space! Don't wait to do it perfectly, just get your things off the floor. You can rearrange later.

Try picking each item up and asking "do I want this enough to give it shelf space? Or should it go?"

It's great that your roommate is encouraging you. How close are you to not having her stuff in your room?

I had a good day with my boys yesterday. And tonight I will sleep at Birdy's house. I'm stressed about the trip, but excited to see him!

My biggest challenge is going to be my ddil- she knows the coolest little craft fairs and unique markets, and she is a really good baker. So after hanging out with her for a week, I'm likely to come home with a basket of purchases and ten extra pounds! Must resist! But how does one say no to 4 layer cakes or homemade bread and raspberry jam? - small servings! Eaten slowly with enjoyment! Much carrying and playing with Birdy! Remembering that I need to lose another half Birdy!

I have a goal of cleaning out my closet when school is over. If I can hold my current progress, I should be at or near goal weight by then.

Ok, carry on! If I am scarce it's because I am busy with my family and not at my house.

Hi. I'm getting some laundry done. Just changed my sheets. Was finally able to shower after many false starts. I am still quite ill.

I do have friends but I'm in touch with BF many times each day I couldn't talk yesterday because I was too sick we've talked for a minute or two today. I had to take a sick day as there was no way I could log onto my computer. I did get a nap in this afternoon which is a big change fm writhing in bed.

I got my garbage out.

I'm finishing washing my bedspread and then ican go to bed.

I do miss having him here. He was my everything. Still is, til we can get settled overseas.

Doing the long-neglected laundry.

Weather is pleasant here, and a few of my roommate's bulb flowers are up - starting to bloom or at least poking up the foliage part.

We're preparing this week for the termite man to do his annual inspection. I feel more motivated than I have some years, even though I'm so behind on everything. As long as my energy holds out and I can figure out some ideas for what to do with stuff... not even sure what's in some of the messy places, whether it'll be stuff that can be gotten rid of or stuff I'll need to organize better.

My roommate continues to downsize her books and media, though she will have to interrupt that to deal with other preparations for the inspection. But it's good to be around someone else who is decluttering; I think it rubs off on me. She doesn't have all the executive functioning struggles I do, either, so perhaps I can observe her methods and imitate them as a learning opportunity in those areas where I haven't a clue how to proceed, lol.

I did get one idea all on my own, and it is so simple and obvious it may sound silly, but what it is is just to really try and get everything at a 90 degree angle. I have too many stacks of stuff leaning precariously. Even if things aren't in their ultimate places, if I could just stack them either flat or upright depending upon what works best for each, then I could see better to start grouping like with like, estimating space needed, etc. And it would prevent the dreaded avalanches that sometimes happen.

Oh dear Tatoulia.

Does anyone check on you when you are sick? I worry because you live alone.

Today I have my boys, and then tomorrow we go to visit Birdy. I am on spring break.

Yesterday I cleaned pens and set up new ones for the baby poultry. I also finished digging out a section of the old, rusty "permanent" garden fence (it has been there 20 years) I'm sore. But it's good for me.

I took the short bottom run out last year. This year I plan to finish the long side I have started and hopefully half the short top run. Then I am going to start building up the lower corner of the garden so that the movable fence will run more level. In 2026 I will finish removing all of the old fencing.

Have been very sick with stomach issues. My place is a giant hazmat situation. Trying to gather enough strength to load the dishwasher.

Yes I'm being dramatic but also yes, I know my friends here would understand

Good morning!

I hope everyone is managing ok with the time change.

Tatoulia, we miss you!

Dh and I went out to dinner and a concert last night. When the waiter turned from the table next to us I smiled at him and made eye contact. He stopped to say our server would be with us in a minute. I told him "I know, I was smiling because I recognized you" - and then I identified myself. He said "Oh my god! I'm so sorry! I didn't recognize you!" (Gee, why not kid? I'm out of context, dressed up, and three years out of your life completely. The last time you were actually in MY class I wasn't even a grandmother yet.) anyway, he is on break from college, about to take a trip to a place he has always wanted to go, and looking healthy and confident. it made my night. He's on my all time favorite kids list.

Today I need to continue getting the barn ready for the farm sitter. Yesterday I cleaned up a lot and collected almost 1/2 a feed bag of trash.

All the baby poultry is doing well.

I'm sorry, Lila - sending big hugs. You did everything you could and I didn't realize the dog was that young which of course makes it so much sadder. The intense grief will lighten up in time but it sure doesn't feel like it at the beginning. And you've been under a tremendous amount of stress with all sorts of things, which is draining. So keep life as simple as possible, remember the basics of nutrition and hydration, sleep, exercise and fresh air as you are able.

As far as the pet items, don't push too hard too quickly on decisions but when you do start, just decide on easier stuff first, like items that are worn or dirty can go whereas a few nicer things can be put in a special box for a happier time down the line when you have need of them. Maybe you can foster, or God may send an animal that you know needs you to give it a good forever home. Perhaps after you have settled into a new house if you go ahead with that direction. Or whenever. You'll know at the time. In the meantime take care, and by all means post however often you want. We all like animals here and know what joy they can bring to life. And how bittersweet it can be.

Well, I am forcing myself to come here and post, and work on the Daily Tally. I have to channel my grief into something useful. So I will keep posting on the Tally. My last and only dog passed yesterday at only 4 years old from cancer. I don't think I will ever be okay. But I am trying to be here for my son, who is also grieving. So this forum will be one of my distractions, since I cannot keep sitting around crying. It is too much. There is so much dog stuff all over my house. I can't get rid of it all. But some will go.

SubC, you nailed it - to be able to touch the fabric, yarn, ribbon, crochet or embroidery thread, whatever it may be. To be able to match colors, dye lots... the in-store experience can't be replicated online unless they start providing swatches. Plus, seeing a particular fabric can sometimes be the basis of my inspiration (and admittedly also impulse buying, but I've improved greatly at talking myself out of a lot of that, so I think it's still sad to have to give up that part of shopping).

We do have this one local place which is kind of cool - it is secondhand fabric. She even has things like blocks people made and didn't put together into a quilt (although I probably don't need those myself but it's cool to know someone else might buy them and finish that person's UFO). And scraps, fill a lunch sack size brown bag for three bucks - again, nothing I need at the moment but cool to think other quilters will put those to use instead of the fabric being thrown in the garbage.

My big hope is that over the next few years there will be new local shops opening, that perhaps Hobby Lobby will increase their fabric offerings - they have decent stuff and they have thread and notions. My roommate the knitter is of course sad about losing Joann's yarn department, and if you think it's hard to find quilt specialty shops these days in our area, the yarn shops are all gone. I would even welcome a chain fabric store because let's face it, they do fill a certain role in being able to offer a wide selection - I pray it'd be run well and not have some of the dysfunctional stuff going on when I used to work for another chain that was Joann's competition in my town at the time.

For right now, I do have the fabric I have, and I'm going to try not to let this Joann's thing make me get weird about it. I'm going to try and carry on with my plans for destashing, and not race too far ahead in my thinking about what happens when I (theoretically) have not much fabric and other sewing supplies left. That will still be a blessing to have the space and the clarity, must remember that. Gotta stay in the Now.

Good morning!

Took care of my tax situation. Cost me 14 cents. Visa charged me a dollar to pay it. I'm sure that was worth somebody's time.

My ducklings and goslings arrived safe and sound this morning.

I'm going to take them in to school and work in my room this afternoon so the kids can see them while they are still little.

CM, yay for shelf space!

I had to tell myself not to try to go to Joann for closing sales.
There are so many online places to get fabric, but you can't touch it. I don't like the idea of not being able to feel the quality of the fabric before I buy it.

Not that I've found time to get back to sewing yet.

My class starts tonight. Just getting myself together (ducks in a row - lol!) this morning.

Lila, sorry about your dog. One of my bunnies is 12-1/2 and since New Year's has gotten more frail and has a crippled hind leg. But he's holding his own for now and I have some things to help him. Still, when they get up there, every day with them must be looked upon as a blessing.

SubC, we had crazy little bit of everything kind of weather this week too. Finally settling down. Ash Wednesday and Lent are here - I had gotten mixed up somehow and thought it wasn't till the 15th but I should've questioned that...

Roommate has cleared some shelf space that I need to make use of. Need to dust it first.

I'm in a bit of irony, and I'm sure I'm not alone - right now there have to be thousands of other crafty people especially seamstress types who mourn the closing of Joann Fabrics due to bankruptcy. I had been doing really well with the not having scarcity mentality re fabric, ribbon, etc. BECAUSE I WOULD TELL MYSELF IT WOULD ALWAYS BE AVAILABLE and easily accessed so no need to buy more. But now?

And of course I do plan to "shop my stash," that's not the problem. But I have to say it feels weird to have so few places that stock that category of merchandise. There had been other locally owned fabric stores close in the past 2-3 years too. It almost begins to feel like the hoarders of fabric were prescient after all. Sigh...

I don't plan to be foolish about any of this and go on an acquisition binge or anything, but again the irony is strong.

Lila, I'm here. I'm thinking of you today.

I haven't been posting because I'm mostly just trying to keep my head above water this week. I volunteered to do too many things and I'm taking another pottery class that starts tomorrow night and I'm not ready for. I've also got a tax situation I need to address tomorrow when I can be on the phone during business hours. If anybody answers the phone...

Where is everybody?

I hope you all are doing well.

I have been working but coming home to be with my dog. He was fairly happy although tired but today he has been a little worse, and I am talking to my son about it being his time to go. This is devastating and makes me physically ill, but I am not going to let him suffer. So it will be soon. Probably tomorrow but I need to make sure my son can be here and my grandkids are not here. This is terribly hard.

I feel exhausted and it is hard to get anything done. I know things will be different. I will have a lot of time and will be getting rid of a lot of things soon. It feels like a nightmare, though. I am going on a staff retreat this weekend which will be a good way to step out of this house of grief.

Lila, I'm really sorry about your dog. I hope your family will be able to be sone comfort to you.

It got very cold here again. I've been working on getting ready for my ducklings. Also starting to change my email because the new internet is in and the old one leaves at the end of March. And doing some long term farm planning with Dh, which somehow always ends up stressful and exhausting. But we are working on good things.

The sun has been coming and going today.

hi SubC, sorry you have been here all lonely, but it is nice to catch up and read about your hailducks and they nice sorter your husband brought you. Yes, my first husband and I had a herd of dairy cows. If I remember correctly, about 60 of them. We had a milking barn with the machines hanging down from the ceiling into stalls, and we would bring in a group of cows, feed and milk them, then go to the next group. It took forever and what I hated was when you had the cow teats all cleaned off and the machine ready to put on them, or on them, and they kicked it off into the dirt. omg so frustrating! Glad I am not doing that anymore.

I was working a lot this week as well as recovering from the flu lingering symptoms and one night of vomiting. Then I took my dog to the vet a few hours away. You might remember he has had some health scares and a surgery. Well this time we found out he has a very aggressive and advanced cancer. There is not much anyone can do. He is only 4 so it is a shock. He is not in pain and has days or a few weeks max left. They increased his steroids to help with symptoms. He seems happy, just tired, but knowing his days are so very limited, has broken my heart. I am taking as much time this week to be with him at home as I can.

I think the trauma of it has numbed me somewhat. I don't remember who said it, either here or maybe on tv or at church, that when they had a big trauma, the only way they could cope with those intense feelings was to walk. She walked and walked and walked. I think she lost like 80 pounds as a side effect, not a goal. And I was so upset yesterday, that I went out of the vet hospital (he was still there recovering) and I walked until I could barely breathe, which is not far. But it helped. And today I just started cleaning things, same principle, pouring that emotion and energy into something physical so the pain could leak out and the stress could be relieved. I swept off the whole deck, I cleaned the toilet, and gathered laundry and trash. I feel so helpless and upset, and I know the alternative/usual behavior is to freeze. To sit and eat and eat and do nothing, just stew in my stress and sadness. But my stress and sadness over this is too much to sit in. I think I might die of the stress and sadness if I did that, so I am just going to walk and clean until I am exhausted, and spent time with my beloved dog. What else can I do? Pray a lot.

Nothing else seems important now, and I expect once he is gone I will just pour myself into my work, because coming home and not having him smiling and wagging his tail to greet me seems overwhelming. I don't have anything else. I mean I can spend time with my grandkids sometimes, but they have their own life.

Sorry for the downer. I can't talk about it yet anywhere else.

Well, it's the subc show today!

My weather was all over the place - light rain, clouds, bright sun, 1cm hail, assorted hail up to the size of a quarter, down pours - all more than once (except the hail, that was two separate sustained periods) and mixed all around in order. The ducks actually rushed out of the barn to play in the smaller hail storm and didn't come in until it was over! Ducks are weird!

I got 1/4 of the garden tarped, a feed bag full of trash (torn pieces of tarp, feed bags that didn't work as path mulch, old plant tags, twine.) cleaned up out of the garden, a stall cleaned out, a new chicken pen set up, and one group of chickens moved. Now I have to take the chicken pen they were in apart, clean that stall, and have it ready for the ducks and chicks that could arrive as early as Tuesday!

After I finish my tea, I plan to finish cleaning off the counter of doom (it's a parking spot. It will never STAY clean, it just needs to be cleared regularly - like the dining table , the kitchen counters, the sinks, the laundry basket..) and call it a night.

Very slow morning!

I have a lot of tasks I want to have done, but I am reminding myself that this is a recovery day. Didn't get to bed until almost midnight, but slept until nearly seven.

The weather is supposed to be cloudy today with a little rain in the afternoon, but warmer, so my plan is to get outside once I get moving. I have a lot to do in the barn to be ready for my poultry next week.

Yesterday I got ready for school, picked up my book at the post office (won't fit in the mailbox and the driver won't try my driveway in it's current condition) taught, hit the "off site storage" (thrift craft store)for $2 worth of paintbrushes for school, stopped at the studio for materials for the school wide project I volunteered to run next week (because I'm crazy - let's see, chicks hatching (hopefully), ducks and geese coming in the mail, registration happening with extra parent emails, my friend's play to attend on the far side of the city, a class I'm taking starting..yeah, I'll run a school wide project that week.) and babysat for Bean and Buddy.

Dd and dsil wanted to stay out after their concert, so heartdaughter's wife (who is a night owl and lives less than a mile away) came over to be in the house with the sleeping boys until they got home so I could get home and do chores before midnight. She told me she and heartdaughter are planning to move! I know they want a bigger house (theirs is tiny) but I want them to stay close. They are currently looking half an hour by car in the wrong direction! Also, heartgrandson has two more years of high school. They should wait.

Good morning!

Really Lila? Were they your cows? I hope you feel better soon. I am finally - after 5 weeks! Basically better. I just have a slight sniffle like an allergy with a very occasional throat clearing cough. I don't notice it when I am involved in something.

I did not make food or eat the cake. I decided I wasn't that hungry and food was too much work. I also didn't get to bed early because Dh got home late and is working on a project that makes a lot of noise. I read and wandered around the house doing light tidying. And I only "slept in" to 5:30 because Dh got up to go work out - his alarm went off and he turned the light on. But I have been sitting quietly on the couch having my coffee and reading online. - weather, a tiny dose of news, blogs, here and another chat group.

Just my own chores and school prep to do this morning.

I have to tell you, I have definitely been doing well with the stuff! Dh came home last night with a sturdy 8 section metal paper sorter. He said "this was in the trash at work, and it looked like something you would want." I was actually wishing for something like this the other day, but now I can't remember what I was working on. I'm sure it will come to me though! I am keeping the paper sorter. Dh has NEVER brought me trash from work before! - well, when the kids were little, he brought giant printouts for them to color on the back of, but this is very different.

hello! Nice reading and catching up with all 3 of you. Yes, good luck with your pickleball, CM! Sounds fun!

Tatoulia, my exhusband had that issue as well and it drove me crazy. He rarely cleaned, but when he did, it was 90% maybe. Like, clear and wipe off the table but leave dirty napkins on it. Put all the dirty dishes in the dishwasher but leave chunks of food in the sink. Load the dishwasher but not turn it on. I always thought it was something subconscious in him, but I don't know what. It seems like a good thing to work on!

SubC, I used to milk cows with a machine. It was a pain.

I am still sick but worked from home today and I am exhausted and missing a meeting I was supposed to be at. I am coughing a lot. I wanted to work on my bedroom today, but I spent most of my time actually working, and some time with my dog. I am tired.

CM, Good luck with your pickleball!

Tatoulia, the thing that always drove me crazy about the lists was that I would work all day to cross the things off, and then they would just appear again the next day. The row of stickers feels more like I have really done something.

I am tired. This morning right before I milked, I broke the milking machine. Then the cows spent twenty minutes watching me fix it like MacGiver, using only my pottery tools and a pair of tweezers. I still managed to do a good job milking, wash the machine, and get home in time for a shower before work. By the time I was done, I felt like I could do anything!

I had a really good day at school. But I have been running on adrenaline all day. I checked some work after school, stopped for a few groceries, and started a load of laundry as soon as I walked in. Now it is getting dark, I have had a snack because I was too hungry to contemplate dinner, and I need to do chores and maybe make some food before I crash. Or possibly I will do chores, eat the last piece of chocolate cake and go to bed early.