|
Welcome, Stryx, and thank you for thinking so respectfully about how to help your daughter and her family.
It is a hard thing. Anything you say will probably embarrass her, but, in my opinion, saying nothing is not going to do any good. Maybe she is hoping for help. How is your relationship with her, overall? Does she confide in you? Do you argue or fight? I think the baseline relationship needs to be respectful in order to discuss something this sensitive.
But especially because there are children involved, I think it would be best to talk to her honestly, non-judgmentally, NOT saying anything triggerly. Like, do not use words like filthy, disgusting, hoarding, terrible, lazy, dirty, stinks, etc. I think at my worst I would have best responded to something like,
"You know, I really like to organize. I would love to come by sometime and help you organize your home."
or
"I'd really love to come and spend some time with the kids this weekend. When is a good time?" and then maybe bring ingredients to make a treat with them, even something simple like rice crispy treats, which gives you an excuse to clean up the kitchen with the kids.
Or maybe, "I'm planning to donate some things from my house to xyz charity for homeless women" or a rummage sale or whatever... "maybe we can find some things here that I could take when I go donate?"
Let us know how it goes. By the way, have you ever had an issue with clutter or over-collecting, yourself?
|
