I hate hoarding because it makes me feel like I am not a good person.

I also hate it because I cannot remember if I have something and put it somewhere, or if it is in a bin lost in space, or if I donated it. I was looking for a heated eye mask I had forEVER but it is not in the space it was in for years. I know I decluttered that space, but I don't know if I kept it or donated it. I wish I could search the Daily Tally to see if I donated it, but I can't. Bummer. Don't want to buy another one. So frustrating.

I also hate it because all the stuff that could be mine or ex's is mostly sorted out but not 100% and I am worried my stuff will get taken. I really wish it was over. They are coming with a moving van tomorrow and taking all his hoard. That will be a 20-year relief.

Let's see - losing things, not having space to do things or store things properly, items getting damaged or lost..

Dust and dirt that is too hard to clean.

Yesterday, rummaging around in my studio, I discovered that I have easily 200 nearly empty jars of glaze - it could be twice that - because when the kids can't get any more glaze out of the jar, I don't throw it away. I bring it home to remix and then recycle the jar, but I never get around to doing that.

Know what I don't appear to have even though I'm pretty sure I do? A usable jar of gloss white, which is what I needed.

I have been thinking lately about why I want to keep going with the decluttering, even though it is hard. I mean, my house is, for me, "decluttered enough" now that it is liveable and not so embarrassing.

My bedroom even has wide paths to walk to my closet, bathroom, bed and dressers and desk. There far dressers and window are blocked, but I could actually shove a few tubs/boxes over and be able to get to them.

BUT, I hate having to shove things around to get to ANY part of my home. I want to be able to walk in there and just put the clean sheets away in the dresser, instead of stacking clean sheets on a pile because I cannot get to the dresser! That is my reason 1. And, I hope it will motivate me to declutter that area in front of that dresser, so I can put the sheets away.

I also HATE HATE HATE being unable to find things that I know I have. Losing things in the clutter is especially maddening for me. It took me 30 minutes to find a small blanket I was looking for today. I often lose things... and there are many lost things I have not yet found. I know they are in the piles, somewhere.

So for that one my goal is to sort every box, tub, bin, and pile and have a place for everything, and everything in its place. I mean really, even if I was not sure which drawer something was in, it would take a few minutes to look in each drawer and find it, if it was just in a drawer instead of in a pile who knows where.

I also hate wondering if there is a mouse somewhere. UGH

And finally, the things and clutter seem to clutter up my brain as well, and hurt my mind in some way, and drain my emotions. Does that make sense? Not knowing what is in a pile, it becomes an unknown... a lot of unknowns... in my space. And I don't like that at all.

Why do YOU hate hoarding and clutter?