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Posted: 25 August 2023 - 05:17 PM
Call Adult Protective Services for a welfare check. They will help her get it taken care of.
Posted: 19 August 2023 - 12:11 PM
I a so sorry you are going through this. I'm not surprised that your mother made excuse after excuse, she's in a tough spot and she is embarrassed, among other things. She likely doesn't see much of a problem, either.

I suggest contacting Cory and seeing what he can do to help you and what resources he suggests. In the meantime, there's a fairly active group of us on the What Are You Doing Today and we'll provide you with support. We work on our own places and support each other.

Getting into your mother's place and making progress will be difficult, if not impossible. I wonder if you can look into her physical condition (eyesight, hygiene) and try to use that as a way to get her into assisted living. That might be the easier battle. Maybe go to her doctor's appt with her. Something to ensure her safety and comfort.

Sending you lots of support.
Posted: 18 August 2023 - 06:39 PM
Hello. I am new here. My mother is 83 years old. She is going blind. Her house has been cluttered for years and I stopped going to visit her because of it as all my attempts to help were met with opposition and we would just end up in fights. Instead, she would visit my house. Now that vision problems are developing, I have been going to pick her up. When I get to her house, she will not let me inside, but last week I got a glimpse inside. I fear she is living in dangerously filthy conditions, as in not just clutter, but actual filth. When I saw this, I told her I would be coming tomorrow to help her and that I would start by cleaning her kitchen for her. I was very supportive, I told her I loved her and she was not in this alone. Today she called me and told me I couldn't come tomorrow because she isn't feeling well. I said that's no bother because she can rest and I will do all the work. She made excuse after excuse and finally told me the sink is clogged so I can't even clean anyway. The paint is peeling and hanging in foot long pieces from the ceiling and the shower is also broken and my mother claims she just takes baths instead. Lately when she visits I have noticed an odor to her and the house certainly smelled when I caught a glimpse last week. I am beside myself and have no idea how to begin helping her. I need help. How and where do I start in this process?
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