diane, that is exactly what my mother does. She buys stuff to organize more clutter but the containers,bins, etc. she buys to organize things takes up too much space. She will always be that way and there is nothing I can do to stop her. If I even suggest something, she gets very defensive about it.
I'm so glad that you see the light and don't want to buy stuff anymore without getting rid of something. It is a tough hard road but you are well on your way to greatness.

Trust me it takes time to heal. There is always a grieving process before healing.
Something clicked inside you and said "wait, I don't want to do this anymore".

You'll be making room for something great.
Keep up the good work. You can so do this!
Just a little at a time is all it takes and before too long you'll have a whole lot done. :)

thanks Tillie and Lynn. Felt really good reading what you wrote. Today she called and wanted me to go to a museum and shopping, again I said no. It is hard to see her keep buying as she says she is getting rid of stuff. The cedar chest she bought yesterday to go with the new built in storage unit, was 1/2 inch too long. Does that sound familiar, get more storage areas rather than actually getting rid of stuff?

Diane
I am so proud of you. :)
It is very difficult to overcome what we have been doing since birth. That is to always say yes to other peoples requests, even if that means sacrificing ourselves.
Please work through the feelings of guilt and realize that you are worthy of making yourself your number one priority.

Yes it does hurt to see negative qualities in our selves. But until we can see them for what they truly are we can not change them.
You have been doing a fantastic job working to get over the shopping addiction.
I am so proud of you. (((hugs)))

diane, I'm sure that was a hard decision you made not to go with her but that is a major accomplishment! Good for you you didn't go. :)

That is a huge step in not wanting any more stuff for you realize there isn't any more space to put more stuff. I'm proud of you!

Just start small and be happy that you cleaned up a little area. There is no space requirement on how much you get done, just as long as you don't get too overwhelemed in doing it. When that happens, please just take a good break and do something else to get the anxiety off your mind.

Then some other time you can get back to it. Just set a time limit to no more than 5 minutes or 10. You'll work up to 15 minutes at a time but don't rush into it.
You Can Do It!
You can get through this!
We're here for you! Keep up the good work!

I had a difficult day today. So much to do. Made some progress but still feel frustrated with the enormity of the tasks and the difficulty of actually finishing an area completely. My hoarder friend called and told me about the wonderful bargains she bought today, having a bad day, I said, you sound like an addict high on the buy. She wanted me to go to the store and help her move the big stuff she bought. I said no, as long as you still have a storage unit, it tells me you don;t need any more stuff, so can't help you bring new stuff home. She tried to convince me to go, I said I am having a bad day and do not want to help her acquire any more stuff. Of course now I feel guilty for saying no. She also bought 11 new plants that she has no room for, I wanted to get off the phone, but let her talk until I just couldn't listen to it anymore. She is a mirror to me, and I don't like what is reflected back to me.

That is excellent Susan. :)

Dianne,
How to deal with emotions is complicated. When I'm sorting and get overwhelmed it can help to take a break. If that doesn't do it, I leave that task and do another. There's always plenty to do. If I really don't feel like doing anything, or can't because of sick or injured, there's always taking the time to make a plan and assess progress to date. As long as you keep moving in the right direction, it will work eventually.

Dianne I missed you at the support group tonight, always enjoy hearing from you

Dianne,

I appreciated your comment about 'hidden timeline of my old life and I wanted it back'. There is a lot of postponed grieving in certain kinds of hoarding.

For a long time I just wasn't ready yet to face the emotions intertwined with all the stuff. That work can be as hard as the physical sorting.

Dianne, sorry to hear you had a disaster day.
today is a new day, love yourself today inspite of yesterday, it can be so difficult when churning and no progress, I know that all too well. Are you writing to do list?
Even checking off one item is a success, take good care of yourself, hugs

Hi Dianne :)

I got dizzy just reading all you have to tackle!

How is it going? Sounds extremely stressful.

I was so busy yesterday from the time I woke up till late afternoon that I didn't even get to read the message board.
Will write more later as to what I did to help Windy adjust.

(((hugs)))

Hi Dianne,

OMG! Dakota and Jackson look a lot like Cory and Matt. :)

Normally when it's time for bed, Cory and Matt always sleep right next to me in my bed; and when I'm at my boyfriend's house they like to sleep right between me and my boyfriend. Luckily my boyfriend has a huge bed that all of us can fit in. Lol. :)

I am pondering what the doctor said, it is just stuff, don't waste your time trying to decide, just give it away, to have freedom. I see the emotional attachment I have to the possibility of what I might create. Fear of sadness when I give it away, and lost posibilities. Silly, I then say, since with less stuff, will have space to create with what is still here, tug of war going on here. Yes it is the "hard stuff" for me, to possibility of the next great invention

Diane,
Keep looking at what you HAVE done.
You have been doing a GREAT job there!
I know there is so much yet to do that it is overwhelming to think about.

Remember...
How do you eat an elephant?
One bite at a time. ;)

Thanks Tillie, I push myself until I am exhausted, think I need to finish it all in one day. then when I don't finish, I feel bad about myself. I am learning that I can count on myself keep working on it daily. Just so much stuff.

Thanks Lynn. The crafter in me says I can create wonderful artsy scarves etc. out of the clothes I don;t wear anymore. As a hoarder, I see the potential in everything, just don't create beause I am buried in possibilities.

Dianne and Diane,
Clothes are a hard process to sort but if most of the clothes are already in bags, then just simply donate. Don't be tempted to look because it'll just make your letting go decision that much harder.
Besides you won't have good bragging rights to letting go of all the great and wonderful decisions that you are already making. :)

As long as you follow the " if I haven't seen in within a year I can toss it rule" you'll be fine. :) There is always grief before relief and maybe some or alot of anxiety before relief of letting go of clothes.
But think of all the space you'll have or are making for yourself now. Totally awesome job!!

I'm so glad to hear of all the great progress everyone is making and only a little at a time (10-15 minute rule).

Keep up the good work!! :)

Diane,
Clothes are a hard process.
Don't worry about getting them all decided on, keep, donate, toss, in one session.
If you get 50% keep/donate at first that is a GREAT success.
Then later you can look through for more to let go. When there are fewer items to deal with.

You have been doing a FANTASTIC job on your closet! :D

WTG! Dianne :D

So wonderful that you were able to make that donation.
You helped the charity but most of all you helped yourself.
(((hugs)))

Thankks Dianne, you did make the correct decision. I worked all day and still haven't gotten rid of enough stuff, closet looks great but the floor looks like a hoarder lives here. I am so tired will try again tomorrow, I am best in morning. Hope you have a better day tomorrow.

So happy to read you were able to get rid of the clothes so quickly. I am going through all of my pants today, only have one bag of give aways so far, helpful to read you just keep what you like to wear, will have to see what else I can get rid of, now to the jeans, my favorite to wear, will keep maybe 7 pair. Really only need 3 or 4, but will feel 7 is a number to aim for today.

Way to go Dianne!

If you don't see it for a year or more, chances are you don't need it.
Champion job!!
Keep up the good work!! :)

It is true though that if you wanted to see what was bagged you might have had mental blocks to keep them when you really want to rid them

:) Way to go!!

Dianne
That would be wonderful if you could just take those bags, unopened, straight to the charity.
You must not have needed those items or they would have been taken out of the bags and used by now.

If you are able to do this it would show us just how far you have come in recovering from keeping extra things. :D

Dianne, thanks for your post, yes, I am doing clothes today and it truly is the hard stuff, and sometimes it is better to let go of it if you can. Although if you have something you like more in the bag, perhaps you could exchange it with a less favorite. We are sure in this together, thank you for sharing your secrets, helps me not feel alone.

WTG! on a job well done! :D
Sounds like it all worked out very well.

Now with the next part, it looks like you can have a bit of fun shopping in the hall, with all the new items you mentioned there. :)

Dianne, it is so great to read your posts. Last week I went through that shame when I moved the refrigerator and found a huge pile of filth. I cleaned it and don't have to let it get that bad again. By admitting the filth, cleaning it up, and staying in touch, we can prevent this from happening again. Your honesty is great, keep writing and cleaning, it is helpful to read so I don't feel alone in squalor awareness.

Well done! :D

The thing about any hoard is that the hoard it's self prevents regular cleaning and hides so much.
There really is no such thing as a clean hoard.
The longer the hoard exists the worse the amount of dirt accumulated and there can be unseen mold, insects, rodents and structure damage.
All invisible till you start decluttering.

Don't worry about posting whatever comes into your head here.
We do not judge on any grounds. :)

Personally, I really love hearing your thoughts. :)

(((HUGS)))

We are all here for you.

Toss, toss, toss. Do not waste your time and energy trying to save things that are so soiled they may never come clean.
Some things may look clean but to others may still retain the smell of cat urine.

Be tough on yourself but also remember you are a person deserving of love and tenderness and a healthy home.