Hello, I am so sorry about your situation and I feel sad for your mother. Would it be possible to take a picture of, say, your mother's bedroom or kitchen and show her dr that she needs some services? She probably is competent and can make her own decisions yet she needs a safe living environment. I wouldn't document the whole house just a bit.

She needs a safe place to sleep and a safe kitchen to make her meals in. I know she is in a tough position and you don't want to put her in more harm's way. Others may question my idea, above, and so you might want to wait for more people to weigh in. Many people suggest getting the book, Buried in Treasures. Although I have not read it, it is a leading book to help people cope.

Please also head over to our most active board. What are you doing today, as we can provide you with support.

Keep posting. You are not alone.

My story is much like yours....my 79 year old Mother In Law is living in a severe hoarding situation, her healthy is failing and she refuses to leave the home, let us do anything to clean things up, has no money to assist with anything. I have allergies and asthma and have a very difficult time being insider her home at all. My husband is the last surviving child and all of this is going to be left for him/us to deal with, and she's so stubborn and difficult to deal with that he's given up, become apathetic, and only does what he absolutely must for her. I'm in the middle....I would like to help this poor lady, but she isn't in the state of mind to let us help. She comes across very sensible, so doctors feel she is competent and they can't or won't listen to my concerns because she appears to be in her right mind, so we have no ability to step in....its so fruitless and exhausting...

You're Welcome :)

thank you!

Hello Sylvia :)

A good book on the subject of helping a loved one is "Digging Out".

I would approach the subject about her maintaining some independence even as her health fades.
Let her know that in assisted living she would still have many freedoms in a safe home.
Then broach the subject of her taking only the most precious items with her to her new home.

Talk about how if she were to get sick or injured where she lives now it would be impossible for her to return home.

Really build up the assisted living arrangements and all the benefits she would have there.

Good luck and best wishes.
Please feel free to join us for emotional support in "The Daily Chat". :)

I'm so glad to find your page... I'm trying to help my mom. She is 82 in failing health and is a hoarder. She really needs to live in an assistant living or with me, however because of all her treasures, she will not even consider it...
I am at such a loss and not sure how to approach her and how to help her...