Hi B.

I have a suggestion - make a fort.

Make your bed up with nice clean sheets, then move your bedroom furniture in close and surround yourself with some clean, quality items - extra blanket or two on the bed, books or decorative items on the dresser, a water glass on the nightstand.... collect as many of the colors and patterns you kept as you can into this room.

This will give you a comforting space to retreat to as you get used to the bright and shiny around you.

There is a concept called "bee space" if the frames in a bee hive are too far apart, the bees will fill up the extra space with wax until they feel safe and cozy. I think many humans have their own version of "bee space"

My husband likes everything clean and sparse, as we have been working on the house and I have been decorating, many areas have become uncomfortable to me. I have been compensating by spending more time in my cluttered, disorderly studio, by making small spaces within the larger ones, and by adding details like colorful, patterned throws and placemats.

I am slowly getting used to the more open spaces and it is nice to have "public" areas where I don't worry about people bothering my stuff.

Hi B--I'm so sorry you feel this way. Hoarding is a tough thing and Tillie's right, a sudden clean out with no mental and emotional prep is tough.

please don't be sad. The stuff is now gone but you've gained us--a group of people who suffer from hoarding or its effects. We welcome you with open arms and a willingness to support you. You are not alone!

Hi B :)

Please follow through getting a therapist and group therapy.
You did this all too fast all alone on your own.
Here, we encourage people to declutter more slowly since they are working all alone.
When people have a big fast major clear out it's usually done with a therapist and therapy before the decluttering.
You weren't mentally & emotionally prepared for this.
Here we have people think about what they are sorting through and make solid rational decisions about everything to either keep/toss/donate.
This way they have a good feeling and no regrets.
Please try not to fill your space up again with meaningless random stuff.
That's counterproductive.

I just feel so depressed and angry and upset. My mood has dropped immediately and I haven't felt this level of absolute mind numbing heart ache in many many years. I miss my stuff so much. I miss my stuff so much even if it was trash and rotting food and things i hadn't thrown away since elementary school. I didn't care that you couldn't even walk on the floor because of the mess or how i only had a bit of bed to sleep on. I needed it. I lived in a complete and utter dump with bugs crawling around and mice in the walls and now everything is all shiny and empty. It's really taken a mental toll on me but I've been doing everything in my power to keep busy and ignore it. I don't really have anyone to talk about it with because of the social isolation I fell into. That and I just feel embarrassed and ashamed because of how i live. I really hope this therapy helps me because i know i feel like i can be better

Within the last month I completely threw away my hoard. Everything except the bare minimum was thrown away and I kept cleaning for a full week and a half until it was all gone. I couldn't stop myself from throwing things out because if I had taken even a moment to think about it I wouldn't have gotten rid of anything. I ended up going back into the trash anyway and pulling out a lot of stuff after it was all over.

It was going fine after i had cleaned up for a while but recently i broke down and all i feel is fear and anxiety sitting in such a large empty space. I don't feel safe anymore in my place and I've begun hoarding again but

now i've started sleeping on the floor where the mess is piling up to feel better instead of my bed. I think i just made it all worse doing something so foolish so suddenly. I'm still in shock. I know its not right, I've realized recently how all those years of hoarding is bad for me but I can't help it. I'm still young, mid 20s, so I guess thinking i could handle this just fine is the result of dimwitted youth. Evidently I'm not doing so hot right now. I really miss all my possessions even though I saved the most important ones. I felt so ashamed admitting to my family why throwing away legitimate garbage and trash bags upset me. I just really hated it, i really hated when my family would come into my space and i hated the thought of someone possibly touching or moving my things without me knowing.

I've worked up enough courage to seek out group therapy drop ins and i'm planning to get a therapist soon. i just wanted to vent my emotions and collect myself before I made any phone calls