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Hoarding Help Message Boards : The Daily Chat : Need advice on how to help
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Need advice on how to help

Posted: 12 January 2013 - 11:10 AM
Such a difficult situation for all involved.

Since your sister is an adult and refuses to try to help herself I personally would not bother trying to save her hoard.
I understand trying to get her some money by selling the things but it sounds like she wouldn't use the money correctly in her present state of mind.
You are a wonderful sister to want to help her but are you hurting yourself by trying to clean up after her?
The only thing I can think to do in this situation is contact "Adult Protective Services" to see if they know any way to help get your sister back on her medicine and into therapy.

Best wishes and good luck.

Sincerely, Tillie
Posted: 12 January 2013 - 08:15 AM
I need advice.
My sister left her bf of 14 years this summer and has not had a steady home to live in since.
when she left Davies house she left her hoard there. It has been since august since she has been to the house.
My parents hired a moving company to take out the things of value and they are being stored for her in a storage bin. She has some really nice stuff. When she does "land" somewhere she will have decent furniture to use for her comfort.
After Christmas she became irratic, she has been out of a job since May, she has pills she takes to stay stable but she is not consistently taking them. She is 43 so it is hard to treat her like a child, but she acts like a teenager with anger and rage issues. She was born with fetal alcohol syndrome and has the mental capacity of a 9 year old. she is on govt assistance but it is not enough to sustain her.
She is addicted to shopping at thrift stores and yard sales.
the hoard she left at the BF's house has to be removed, he is leaving his house soon.
Over xmas break I went to his house with his permission and remove items that could be sold at a consignment shop so I could raise some money to get her into a stable apartment. She hasnt seen her stuff nor taken any action to deal with her hoard since august. It is now Jan 2013.
she broke up with the new bf last night. I cabbed her over to my house and offered her to stay with me. She declined.
She saw some of her stuff in my garage that I had not yet taken to consignment and she went off. She was so angry and distrustful and bitter. She called me all kinds of names in the book. I was calm and tried to tell her that I was consigning items for her so that we could raise money for her to get a place. she was very angry and stormed out of my home and camped in the garage. She got someone to come and pick her up but I dont know who. She did take some but not all of the stuff in my garage.
There are still tons and tons of clothes, crap, furniture, misc household items still at her ex bf's house. I have committed to the ex bf to come this weekend and get some of the garbage out of the basement. She has 4 cats that she left with the bf and they have peed all over the stuff she has stored in the basement. It smells atrocious down there.
Needless to say it will take a few extra large dumpsters delivered to her home just to get the clothes out of her basement.
My concern is for her mental well being (she has never had that but I am always hopeful that she will someday have mental peace). I know she thinks I betrayed her but in my heart I only meant to help her.
my question is - should I continue on the path of getting her stinking crap out of BF basement or should I just let it go? I want to help her but I dont think it is possible. she wont see a psychiatrist or psychologist for her hoarding and shopping addiction. I love her to death but she cannot be reasoned with. I wonder if what i am doing is more harm than help. Any thougths or suggestions?
Hoarding Help Message Boards : The Daily Chat : Need advice on how to help

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