I think my family needs to see it too. It's not that I have lied to them. At least, I don't think I lied, because I believed it when I said it. My working definition of lie is "a deliberate misrepresentation of what you believe to be the truth" but I have let them down a lot. And it is part of who I am.

That reward thing? I can't do that. I will either decide I can do just this thing before I start and never start, or I will keep going and forfeit the reward every time. Transitions are just too hard for me.

There have to be natural consequences. Or consequences from somebody else - I made a deal with dh this fall. I need to go to bed by ten. So, if I am not in bed by ten, he takes my iPad the next day. I am only allowed to have it for work. he can check my history and if I cheat on the "only for work" part I lose it another day. So if it is getting late in the day and I am on it and I realize I will not finish everything I must do, I get off. It isn't just fun stuff. I have been known to wipe off a counter at 9:45 and end up on my hands and knees scrubbing cupboard molding at midnight. Dh has to yell at me.

All nighters in college? I once didn't sleep for four days (on day 4 I started hallucinating)

Raising kids was fantastic - kids interrupt you constantly. They reset you over and over. Teaching works great for me - every class has a beginning and an end, and at the end of the day, the building manager comes up and asks if I am done because she's ready to turn out the lights and go home (if I don't have a "next commitment" I am always the last one out of the building because I am cleaning up my room or I get bogged down in organizing stuff.)

I love the timer on the stove and the alarms on the washer and dryer. I love having livestock that expect to be fed at regular times. I kind of hope dh calls me tonight and tells me to go to bed.

Hi all -
I'm glad to see folks are starting to feel better.

It's Sunday night here and still no plumber. I've spent a lot of much needed time relaxing this weekend. I did some more cleaning Saturday morning and then took a 6 hour nap! It felt so good. If anybody came to my door, I didn't hear them! I woke up just in time to meet my girlfriends. Today I spent time with my new guy friend. Now I'm wiping down the kitchen counters, starting to clean filthy walls, and clearing slow drains. Little by little it's getting there. I plan to get another good meal and a good night of sleep before another stressful week begins.

Did anyone else have a nice weekend? I'm a little behind on reading posts. I'm looking forward to catching up while having my morning coffee tomorrow.

Hi Subclinical :)
You need to do what I do when it comes to managing my time.
Since there are "have-tos" that I have to do, I play this little game with myself...
It is that I get a reward to watch videos & eat snacks but only after I do X Y or Z first.
Since I only want to watch videos & eat snack food I get very motivated to finish up the "have-Tos" knowing that I will get to have my reward guilt free.
As for Steven, I always know when he is lying because I can see his lips moving.
When it comes to him, I need to see it done to completion before I would actually believe him.

Tillie, my kids are really supportive. They are not angry at me, and I am luckier than I deserve. And I know that there are a lot of other things between you and Steven.

But you don't believe he will finish cleaning up the cooler - for good reason. And if he gets rid of a few things, you don't believe he will clean up the yard - with good reason. So what I was wondering was how much progress would he have to make before he could pull in with say, half a truck load of scrap metal, tell you he was going to top it up and take it to the recycler tomorrow, and have you actually believe him. I understand why the kids see the frog and think "problem."

The candles are still in my barn.

My husband left for his work trip 5 hours ago and I haven't done any of the things I thought I was going to do today. I just want him to not be gone. He hasn't travelled for a long time and I forgot how scared I get when he goes. It is worse because all of my kids are gone now too. I am not afraid of being in the house alone, like a safety thing, I am afraid I can't manage my daily life on my own. Since I have spent the last 5 hours watching videos and eating snack food - it is a self fulfilling prophesy.

Hi Tatoulia :)
OH! sorry your car got banged up!
Yes it is hard living in or visiting a city with a car and trying to find good parking.
Whenever I used to go into San Francisco I would always park at the B.A.R.T. train station several cities away and take the train into the city because there was really absolutely no place to park there.
WAY TO GO! for the bag to Goodwill! :D

Hi Subclinical :)
I do believe that Steven has done irreparable damage to our relationship and it will never recover.
He has cheated many times (which is why I became celibate over 20 years ago).
He was not always a hoarder. We used to live on a small island in the S.F. bay area in a converted bus that I bought from a band.
You can not live that way and hoard. LOL
Then we downsized and lived for a while in a camper on the truck, traveling around.
He started to slowly begin hoarding as an undiagnosed tumor grew in his brain. As the tumor got larger so did his hoarding.
The tumor was successfully removed and at that time he was taking college classes and graduated at the head of his class in computer technology.
He has 3 degrees now.
His being mean and nasty and abusive is just because he wants to be.
He sees nothing wrong with the disgusting mess he has made of our home.
I would have left him many years ago but I have been unable to work due to needing surgery for cysts and tumors in my abdomen that cause me great sickness and pain.
I tried everywhere to get help with medical bills but nobody or place would help me unless I was homeless living on the street then maybe they would think about it, no guarantee.
I can not afford the 1200.00 Obama care would cost me a month or the deductibles & co-pays.
I even asked my parents for help but they refused even though they had millions and could well afford to help me.
My oldest brother has taken all the inheritance money for himself since he was executor of the estate.
So anyways, it would be nice if Steven would clean up something here and would possibly help with my health issues not having to try doing everything all by myself.

Subclinical, I would like it if your children would read
"Digging Out".
I believe that would help them and also help them to help you. (((HUGS)))

Hi Joan. I'm sorry about your yoga instructor. It sounds like she is a really important person in your life. I am someone who doesn't make very many deep connections, so the people I do connect with are that much more important. It sounds like that may be the case for you too. I'm glad you will still get to see her sometimes even if she won't have the same roll in your life.


Tillie, I did that to them. They can't see that it is funny that I am using a stuffed frog as a cushion, because all they can see is that there is a stuffed frog in the kitchen. And they imagine that soon there will be a stuffed monkey and a stuffed rabbit and a bunch of other stuffed animals and they will get greasy from cooking and probably catch fire. Because that is what mom does. It makes me sad, but there is nothing I can do about it but hope time will change it.

What if Steven put away the cooler and started cleaning up the yard, and then kept cleaning up the yard, but then sometimes he brought home another pick up load, and he said he was sorry, and the yard kept slowly getting better even though he backslid sometimes - how long would it take you to start thinking differently about him? Was there a time he wasn't hoarding? Because my hoarding was my kids whole childhood. Their whole lives.

It's who I am to them, and it is not over.

Tatoulia, I'm sorry about your car. Good job on the goodwill bag though!

Tess, how did it go with the work at your house?

Hello everyone!

That is sad having to say goodbye to your yoga instructor, Joan. Hopefully you will build a connection with the new instructor. I'm pleased you are able to go to yoga and that it is something that helps you!

Tillie that is a surprise about putting away the evaporative cooler! Fingers crossed that he completes the task.

Not too terrible with brother today. He seemed pretty good. I am running up to mom's now. I've already been there once but need to go back. Hoping BF will help me with some work stuff later. I bought a few cases of canned vegetables (corn, creamed corn, peas and greenbeans) to drop off for good drive st office. I also need to pick up my computer. My car is parked st mom's right now.

I parked out back over the weekend in neighbor's spot(with permission) due to the fact I had to have a different car in my garage spot. Unfortunately I damaged my door pretty badly as I pulled out of the parking spot today. I'm going to try to leave car at mom's til we can get that other car out of my spot. Hopefully today. It is so hard living in the city.

I took a bag to goodwill today--clothes and shoes!

Everyone I'm a bit behind in your posts-but I'm cheering you on!

Good Morning Everybody :)
Iced chai masala "Clink!"

Hi Subclinical :)
Sorry they didn't appreciate the silliness of your little joke.
They need to lighten up a little and quit being so serious. ;P
I thought it was cute.
You just keep on being "You" and keep playing! :D

Hi Joan :)
Keep concentrating on your yoga.
Give the new instructor a chance to prove themselves and maybe you will gain a new friend and new growth in practicing yoga.

Hi Tatoulia :)
Sleepy head :D
Hope you had a wonderful and carefree day yesterday and that today goes smoothly for you. (((HUGS)))

Yesterday I mentioned that we were done using the evaporative cooler until next Summer and that it needs to be drained and covered now.
To my surprise, he immediately got up from his garage computer where he was playing mind numbing video games and started the process of draining it.
Maybe later today he will finish the task???
The weather is gorgeous here this morning.
So much needs to be done in the yard but I am not physically up to it today so I will just stay inside and wash my hair.

Hello, everyone. Thank you for remembering me, especially Tat and Tillie. CM, thank you for your prayers.

There is a paradox that is at the center of my life. On the one hand, I have done great work keeping myself alive. It has frustrated almost all of those around me, most of whom had expected to have enjoyed my funeral long since. Those people were eager to take everything that belongs to me. They are not around me any more.

On the other hand, it has been a long slog, and not much appreciated by anyone now on the planet. I am too unwell, at this point, to have any regular activities except those that I do to stabilize my health. So, I am very isolated. It can be tiring just living because you refuse to be killed off by the evil intentions of your original group.

Perhaps some of you can relate to this.

"Yesterday" (Saturday) my yoga teacher retired. It was harder than I thought it would be. She was there for me every week for over 4 years. I may still see her around the studio, but it is a huge loss for me.

In the past the whole situation would have collapsed on me, but now this is no longer the case. The class will continue with another new teacher next Saturday. I need the class. I will continue the practice.

I will be devastated for some time.

Lol!

I have a stuffed frog with magnetic hands and feet - it lives on my washing machine. When the kids were younger, it lived on the fridge.

When dh was putting handles on the cabinets today he kept bumping his head on the vent hood, so I stuck the frog to the edge.

I took a picture and posted it to the family instant message thread titled "safety frog is protecting dad's head from the vent hood." Two of my kids responded instantly. Ds said "fire hazard!" And dd1 said "clutter alert!"

I promised them I would move the frog as soon as their father was done, and I did.

WAY TO GO! Subclinical
It may not seem like much going out but it all really does add up over time.
Keep up the GREAT work!
Doing it as you have the time and right fame of mind will lead to less random clutter and also help start you into the habit of slowly decluttering little bit by little bit regularly throughout the year.
That's how people in maintenance keep in maintenance.

Hi Tillie, I have done 27 days on the challenge. They say if you do something 30 days in a row it becomes a habit, but mine are not in a row. I'm not keeping up 100% with anything, but I am doing ok overall.

Finding a few small things to get rid of as I move into the new kitchen. Nothing significant though.

Good Morning Everybody.
Still morning here 11:47am...

Thank you Anonymoniker
Abusive people go through what is called "the honeymoon phase" after they have been extremely abusive and damaging to their victim.
If they victim falls for it it will just lead to more of the same or worse abuse later.
He is still trying to get back in my good graces, this morning he removed some nasty trash from his bedroom, picked up the heap of dirty clothes, vacuumed the uncluttered center of the floor in there and right now he is installing a new porch light, one that he bought this Summer somewhere.

Hi CriticalMass
Good luck with your blood tests!
So happy the bunnies are improving. You are a good bunny Mama.

Hi Tess
Please take care and try not to let the stress rule your life and health.

Hi Subclinical
How's that 100 day challenge going?
Hoping it's not adding too much to your already full agenda.

Hi Tatoulia
Thank you for understanding and sorry that you personally know too well what it is like. (((HUG)))

Shortly after I got up I heard the distressing cries of a quail outside.
When I opened the door and stepped out to check a small juvenile hawk flew off leaving a young female quail.
She ran and tried to hide in the rose bush where I was able to pick her up.
She was in shock and the leg she was favoring did not appear to be broken, she did have shock from the experience.
I tossed her in the huge pile of old tree branches where the birds like to hang out.
Hopefully she will recover there because bringing her inside would have exacerbated her shock.
The young hawk is angry with me for interfering. Unfortunately, they have to learn by practice how to kill their food before they start trying to eat it.
The hawk will soon learn and take his prey swiftly without all that crying and begging.
Then I went out and sprayed around the house with "Bug Barrier" because the spiders are getting cold over night and starting to come inside.
Found a big one in my bed yesterday morning and keep finding them all around inside.
With this spray they still come inside but very quickly die before they reach me or my bed.

Today is a new day and so far I've slept through most of it! Don't know how I managed to get up early, feed kitty and start dishwasher, then back to bed til phone rang at quarter to two!

Stopping by to send Tess much strength today.

Will write more later--I feel so much better after getting some sleep. I'd told brother a week ago that I'd see him Sunday instead of Saturday and still he's managed to be mad at me today. Don't care, I feel much less stressed and I'm going to go wash my face and visit BF. Just had my first cup of coffee.

I do not recommend sleeping your life away but today was really nice. I don't feel the stress and pressure right now--very restorative.

Tillie, i am so sorry that i came across as thinking you didnt ask politely for help, or anything like that?! I know how kind you are! My thinking was just that Steven was in a bit of a different frame of mind after that city drive & i figured since he felt guilty & had made offers to take you out to lunch, that maybe hed see helping with a project differently & that it could possibly be a good experience for him if it satisfied his guilt & went smoothly. Please know that i never meant anything bad about you? I know you are amazingly kind & generous & have a heart of gold!~♡~

CM, I forgot to tell you how great it is that you are getting your photos organized! I have so many I want to put in books.

Tillie, I don't think Anony meant to hurt your feelings. No one who has read your posts for more than a few days could ever doubt that you are caring and kind. It blew me away when I first got here how warm and supportive you were to someone you had just "met" when all you really knew about me was that I had characteristics that in someone else had caused you suffering.

I think maybe she was thinking of the sort of simple tasks that you would expect a child to do, a level you wouldn't normally praise an adult for and something you might not have tried because it might seem condescending.

CM, Stay healthy! I am still rooting for the bunnies. I understand about time set aside to do things. Dh is about to leave for work for a week, and I have a lot of things I want to do. I can leave projects spread out all week because they won't bother anyone, and I won't have to make food. (Don't worry, I will eat, but I am happy with fresh fruit and raw vegetables and cheese and bread torn off in chunks and handfuls of nuts and such. Fast and almost no dishes.)

Tess I will think of you tomorrow. I hope the work goes quickly and smoothly and the people are gone as fast as possible!

Tillie,

Your gentle spirit and kind soul come through loudly and clearly. S's behaviour and petulance and nastiness and abuse have nothing to do with you at all. I know from dealin withqbusive and nasty brother that what I do has no bearing on his mood or behavior. He may blame me for his foul mood, nasty actions, harsh words, etc. but that's just his M.O. You and I learned a long time ago that no matter what we say, ask, etc., has no bearing on the other abusive person's response. I'm lucky as brother is going through a good patch righty now. I say Im lucky but really he's lucky, because by the grace of God, he's been coping better for a few months now. I now it's not forever, and soon he'll be splashing an iced coffee in my face and screaming about me about my driving, and saying, look what you made me do. So I understand and commiserate. We all pray and wish that there were a magic potion (or Magic words) to change your situation, but there is none. You have done a valiant job carving out your own life.

Taking someone with mental illness or TBI or whatever may be at play, isn't the same as dealing with the general public. It is difficult and illogical and explosive. And I'm so sorry he was home today and I hope you got your baking in.

I haven't read everyone's posts- wanted to sympathize with Tillie.

Will write more later. Love to you all.

Hi everybody -

I'm sorry to see that so many people are under the weather this week. I hear there is a bad bug going around.

Tatoulia, stress sickness is just as bad as viral sickness. I've been stress sick all week. I'm eating the most I've eaten in days...half an apple, cheese, and some pretzels. It's been awful. I hope you found some peace.

I've restarted this post a million times this week. I've been in a real bad place for the last few days. The stress of work and emergency cleaning has had me on edge. Tomorrow is the day that I will likely have people in my apartment. I'm finally in a place where I don't think I'll end up on the evening news, but I'm still nowhere near where I'd like to be before inviting people in. Not even close. However, I can't stress myself out about it any more. I'll keep doing cleaning spurts, but at this point, I'm just going to apologize for the mess and keep moving. I'm tired.

Before bed tonight, I'm going to finish scrubbing down the bathroom, scrub the kitchen floor, and maybe try to organize the stacks in the living room a little better. I plan to be in bed by 11 for a good nights sleep.

Hope you're all having a good night! Even though I haven't been posting, I've been reading and your posts helped so much with my panic attacks. You guys are a Godsend <3

Hi everyone,

Hope those going through difficult times will soon see a turnaround, whether it's sickness, dealing with a difficult person, or just dealing with our stuff.

Yesterday I felt well enough to rejoin civilization. Had a doctor's appointment anyway. Got my thyroid blood work and will also get cholesterol and general misc. info. I like to keep tabs on that stuff. Since I've had the weight loss over the last year, I hope the cholesterol numbers reflect it. They were never bad, but I like to keep well within tolerances.

This week since I got sick, and had brought my project stuff back home after cat sitting, my bedroom was too much of a mess to be able to sleep in it, so I've been sleeping on the couch nights. It helped with my kooky dreams at first. Now less so, but still not too bad.

But today, the first day of not having to go out anywhere AND being mostly well, I had big plans. First on the docket was to catch up the bunny boxes. Good feeling of accomplishment there.

Next on the agenda - I'd purchased a few sweater and shoe box size plastic Sterilite tubs yesterday, and today I took this big open tub that had photos I want to scan in it, and "divided and conquered" the contents into the smaller enclosed boxes. Kind of like what Porter did only on a smaller scale. Threw away various junky things along the way from that big tub and from my room - a ratty old totebag, rabbit-chewed photo album cover, little envelopes that the photos came in, newspapers, etc.

This project isn't finished, and there are several projects awaiting, but this is the time I've known was coming. I just pray it doesn't fill up with unexpecteds, because I really want to get a lot of these things behind me. My quilt got the rows sewn but they need to be joined, then the border etc. I wish I didn't have to take this pause in it, but the decluttering is what I need to do right now. The quilt will be resumed soon.

My bunny girl is winning the Battle of the Feet - bottoms healed and growing fur. Just those heels, which are the hardest, but the infected yuck is getting gone and the salve (Bag Balm, great stuff) is doing its job.

My grandbunny girl is doing somewhat better too. She seems to have put back on a little weight, and though her leg is gimpy, we've had painkillers for her and my roommate's been massaging her as our rescue leader instructed. I think she's able to use the leg a little more and hopefully that'll keep it limber and strengthen it.

One bad discovery - just happened to see a bald spot on my boy bunny's neck - a few fleas got to him "under the radar"! I got rid of several and put Bag Balm on the bald spot. I think all bunnies can get flea meds now, even granddaughter seems strong enough. And we can put Diatomaceous Earth down in their play area.

And even though I do feel much better than I did early in the week, I'm careful not to overdo - the stuff I dealt with today stirred up some dust and I can feel it in my nose and throat (took a nice spoonful of honey - mmmmm.... ). Want to stay well! And I wish all of you well and happy too. Hang in there, as it says on this website, WE CAN BEAT THIS!! Whatever the "This" is for each one of us!

Hello Anonymoniker
For over 20 years I have asked very nicely for his help and most would have been easy simple tasks if I were not so very sick at the time and he has always said...
"NO" in a nasty petulant way.
AND whenever someone has helped me I always thank them very politely.
?????
I am a very soft spoken and polite person in my real life.
I NEVER raise my voice, nag or get unnecessarily nasty.
Sorry but my feelings are hurt that you or anyone would think I am not a nice person who politely asks for help and expresses gratitude when I receive it. :(

~☆~Good Morning!~☆~
Tatoulia, lots of love & light to you in whatever you are going through!~♡~
Tillie, i suspected that you had also experienced tarplettes! I wonder if you were to ask Steven to help with a simple clearing/cleaning up project, and then express your appreciation, if it could possibly create a beginning to a shift in that dynamic? Just a thought? ~♡~
SubC, maybe have a candlelit evening by lighting ALL the candles around the house? Itd create an entirely fresh feel & also use up most of the candles? I know what you mean about looking through them...yeah, thats risky...ha ha :D ~♡~
Hi CM! ~♡~
Hi Joan! ~♡~
Hi Porter! ~♡~
Hi Tess! ~♡~
Yesterday id wondered which rake to use for the tarplettes...well, it turns out a broom is needed...oh well, at least that does work...ill do more today & it absolutely does look much nicer so far where ive swept the ground....♡
~♡~Happy Homing to all!~♡~ :D

~☆~Good Morning!~☆~
Tatoulia, lots of love & light to you in whatever you are going through!~♡~
Tillie, i suspected that you had also experienced tarplettes! I wonder if you were to ask Steven to help with a simple clearing/cleaning up project, and then express your appreciation, if it could possibly create a beginning to a shift in that dynamic? Just a thought? ~♡~
SubC, maybe have a candlelit evening by lighting ALL the candles around the house? Itd create an entirely fresh feel & also use up most of the candles? I know what you mean about looking through them...yeah, thats risky...ha ha :D ~♡~
Hi CM! ~♡~
Hi Joan! ~♡~
Hi Porter! ~♡~
Hi Tess! ~♡~
Yesterday id wondered which rake to use for the tarplettes...well, it turns out a broom is needed...oh well, at least that does work...ill do more today & it absolutely does look much nicer so far where ive swept the ground....♡
~♡~Happy Homing to all!~♡~ :D

Good Morning Everybody :)

Hi Subclinical :)
OK, I feel better now knowing that you do have some nice candles already and don't need the found ones. :D
Sometimes I worry that people are not treating themselves right and they think they shouldn't have somethings in their lives/homes.

Noticed Steven didn't go to work this morning.
Thought maybe he was laying dead in his bed but he eventually came out of his room.
I asked why he was here & he said he had some use it or lose it time off from work to take.
I have absolutely no hope that he will use this time to do any clearing/cleaning/tossing/decluttering around here.
Anyways, I am going to be busy making banana bread and some other assorted cooking today.
This will also include dish washing and wiping down kitchen surfaces as I mess them up.
I'm looking forward to this :D

Hi tillie!

The banana bread should be kind to your stomach. Hopefully you feel well enough to enjoy making it.

I have three small drawers full of candles. I don't light them very often, so it will probably be years before that becomes two. Kids give teachers candles as presents.

All of these, even the pretty ones, are more than half burned.and the box is bigger than my three drawers together. I don't know where I would put them.

I'm not sure I can make good decisions if I start sorting through the box. Right now, none of them are "mine" so I am just moving them from one place to another for the sake of the planet. If I start handling them and thinking about them....

I have been throwing my receipts for school into a box on my desk with a bunch of other papers. I need to sort the box out this weekend and turn in the receipts or I will not have money to go to the renfest with my Dd next weekend. (Well, I will, because I get paid today, but if I spend it without having turned in the receipts, I'll run out of money for something non optional like goat food before the month is over)

Good Evening Everybody :)

Hi Tatoulia :)
((((((HUGS))))))
Please keep taking care of yourself.
Whatever you're going through, know that we all have our cyber arms around you. ((( :) )))

Hi CriticalMass :)
Take care and feel better real soon. (((HUGS)))
Happy you found a good book you like and can relate to! :D

Hi Anonymoniker :)
I hate those little shreds of tarp too. Neighbor had a blue tarp on his boat and it was always shedding and the wind was blowing the shreds my way. >:(
WAY TO GO! for ALL you have been doing inside and out! :D

Hi Subclinical :)
WAY TO GO! for keeping on with the 100 day challenge and feed bags! :D
YEA! for a really good day at school!
Why can't you keep the really pretty candles???
I would. I have candles. I really like and enjoy candles.
Nice thing about candles is they are something that you can use and use up. They are consumables.
I have a jar candle burning right now on the coffee table.

Yesterday my headache got better just before the GI issues began. :(
Been taking it easy and keeping well hydrated.
Hoping tomorrow I can do my plan.
I brought out all my baking staples and other items from the pantry.
My plan is to use them all up by making some banana bread.
I have some peeled frozen bananas to use up.
Soon the season will be upon us where baking supplies will be featured prominently in stores and I will buy all fresh new stuff.
It was too hot to bake this Summer and I miss having banana bread for breakfast.
:D

Tatoulia, I hope things work out ok for you. <<hugs>>

Anony, hurrah for vacuuming and sunshine! Glad you have a plan for the tarplets.

I had a REALLY good day at school today, but my weeks are still tiring me out.

On the way to school though, I stopped to stop the recycling. And someone had put a whole bunch of votive and pillar candle holders - most with at least part of a candle still in them - into the drop bin. Those don't recycle.

I pulled them out and threw the broken ones into the dumpster when I got to school, but I am not sure about the rest. I should just take them all to goodwill. I should have dropped them all at goodwill on the way home. Some of them are really pretty.

I thought I would give myself the weekend to rest up and decide?

Everyone, I am here sharing your joys and accomplishments and commiserating should if be needed. I'm applauding a Tillie for standing up for herself and Joan for forging ahead. I'm psyched about SubC's new kitchen, Aniny's many accomplishments and CM for stopping by.

You I've temporarily dealt with something that has been on my mind and will finish dealing with it next week. Thank you for hanging in with me. Although it's not a hoarding issue, it has been a procrastination issue. I'm learning, I'm learning.

My headaches and nausea are stress-related. Don't worry, I'm staying hydrated and I'm doing some relaxation exercises.

I love you all. I mean that from the bottom of my heart.

~♡~Good morning & warm coffee clinks to all!~♡~
I got most of the rest of the house vacuumed last night & between that & the tarps down, letting the fall sunshine inside, it seems sooo much better inside! Ill start raking up the outside today! Im glad the millions of tarplettes were 'born' cuz it has pushed me to improve my entire area! :D
~♡~I hope you all have an excellent day & get more done than you expected & are happy with it!~♡~

~♡~Good morning & warm coffee clinks to all!~♡~
I got most of the rest of the house vacuumed last night & between that & the tarps down, letting the fall sunshine inside, it seems sooo much better inside! Ill start raking up the outside today! Im glad the millions of tarplettes were 'born' cuz it has pushed me to improve my entire area! :D
~♡~I hope you all have an excellent day & get more done than you expected & are happy with it!~♡~

SubC, yes, thank you! Contractors bags are what i used! Id forgotten i had them! And i will need to rake up all the topsoil/mulch around this hideous trailer to get all the tarp plastic pieces up! Its ok! It needs to be raked up anyway! Thats what i did around the shop when it had tarp pieces all mixed in with the dirt around it...i just am shocked i didnt remember that, cuz it was such a mess having that stuff everywhere....its sooo gross to me...(sigh) ...rant over...i have a good plan...it will look much better when im done getting the whole area cleaned up cuz theres other gross stuff, too! ~♡~

SubC, yes, thank you! Contractors bags are what i used! Id forgotten i had them! And i will need to rake up all the topsoil/mulch around this hideous trailer to get all the tarp plastic pieces up! Its ok! It needs to be raked up anyway! Thats what i did around the shop when it had tarp pieces all mixed in with the dirt around it...i just am shocked i didnt remember that, cuz it was such a mess having that stuff everywhere....its sooo gross to me...(sigh) ...rant over...i have a good plan...it will look much better when im done getting the whole area cleaned up cuz theres other gross stuff, too! ~♡~

Wow, I hope everybody feels better soon! Many of my little darlings at school are sick, but I have managed to dodge the bullet so far.

Tess, I am right there with you about the repair men, but I have no good ideas. I just hide and suffer. Sometimes I watch videos, but I am afraid the people will hear the videos and judge me for watching videos in my messy house and if I wear headphones I'm afraid they will yell for me for something and I won't hear them.

I have now cooked dinner in the new kitchen twice. I am only bringing in things I need. I don't know for how long, but at some point I will have to make a decision about the stuff that hasn't moved.

The first night dinner took a really long time because I had to go back and forth for every pan or plate or spice, but tonight some of what I needed was already here.

Anony, I am sorry about your tarp, but your paths sound wonderful. We don't have soft dirt here - we have hard clay and rocks. I used to spend summers at the beach when I was a kid.

Can you get some contractor trash bags?

CM your book sounds interesting!

I am still working on my 100 day challenge and throwing away feed bags. Not much else to report.

Hi, short drive by . . . I'm a tad sidelined by allergies/sinus that started Sunday. Finished up kitty sitting Tuesday. Had hoped to plunge immediately into decluttering projects bu have had to rest instead. Hoping this bout doesn't turn super nasty like last year's. Everyone in these parts seems to be hacking and suffering.

While I've been taking it easy, I've been reading a book I found at the library, Year of No Clutter by Eve O. Schaub. She writes with humor and optimism. Really details her mental processes and history regarding "stuff."

I will write more when I've had a chance to catch up both with my life and your posts more in depth.

Always rooting for you all!

.....well, im now stuck on how to contain the tarps and their billions of tiny tarplettes that will be born all across my yard to the trash area & will continue breeding everywhere.....(breathes into paper bag...) No plan is feasible. I have no truck. Id have to cut them all up into plastic trash bags to fit. Those little pieces of tarp plastic are so horrid....i dont know what to do....i cant believe id,forgotten about that?!! I worked so hard removing the blue tarp pieces....ok, sometimes when something pushes over the edge it causes a better change, so i will pick up the new tarplettes AND a bunch of other disgusting junk at the same time...yes, that will be good! I still have to contain it all, tho? :(

.....well, im now stuck on how to contain the tarps and their billions of tiny tarplettes that will be born all across my yard to the trash area & will continue breeding everywhere.....(breathes into paper bag...) No plan is feasible. I have no truck. Id have to cut them all up into plastic trash bags to fit. Those little pieces of tarp plastic are so horrid....i dont know what to do....i cant believe id,forgotten about that?!! I worked so hard removing the blue tarp pieces....ok, sometimes when something pushes over the edge it causes a better change, so i will pick up the new tarplettes AND a bunch of other disgusting junk at the same time...yes, that will be good! I still have to contain it all, tho? :(

~Ice Coffee Clinks to all!!!~ :D
Tillie, YEA!!! Good for you to stand up for yourself about crazy city driving while being yelled at!!! Im glad he respected your wishes, too! ;D
SubC, i totally understand your 'freaking out over the new kitchen' ha ha I am so much like that, too! Im sure a lot of why ive been able to appreciate my place more lately is because of the 'threat of my new home' pending. Suddenly, i see so many quaint things im sad to leave, and all kinds of advantages to this trash heap trailer over anything new.
Yesterday i noticed some of those horrific 'tarplette' pieces on the ground under my trailer's 'fringe jacket' and remembered the nightmare of trying to clean up those little pieces of tarp plastic! AAAACK?!! So, today i am removing what is left of the tarp & picking up all the pieces of it from the ground before it gets worse!
Also yesterday i vacuumed a little more than half of the house, which is the spiderwebs, etc., too, & whatever i can clean with my Shopvac without it sucking down physical items! YEA!!!
My feet are sore from too much barefooting at once, but i am loving my soft, fluffy dirt paths!!! Ive even made one area really wide so i can drag my feet through the soft soil JUST LIKE AT THE BEACH!!! :D :D :D

~Ice Coffee Clinks to all!!!~ :D
Tillie, YEA!!! Good for you to stand up for yourself about crazy city driving while being yelled at!!! Im glad he respected your wishes, too! ;D
SubC, i totally understand your 'freaking out over the new kitchen' ha ha I am so much like that, too! Im sure a lot of why ive been able to appreciate my place more lately is because of the 'threat of my new home' pending. Suddenly, i see so many quaint things im sad to leave, and all kinds of advantages to this trash heap trailer over anything new.
Yesterday i noticed some of those horrific 'tarplette' pieces on the ground under my trailer's 'fringe jacket' and remembered the nightmare of trying to clean up those little pieces of tarp plastic! AAAACK?!! So, today i am removing what is left of the tarp & picking up all the pieces of it from the ground before it gets worse!
Also yesterday i vacuumed a little more than half of the house, which is the spiderwebs, etc., too, & whatever i can clean with my Shopvac without it sucking down physical items! YEA!!!
My feet are sore from too much barefooting at once, but i am loving my soft, fluffy dirt paths!!! Ive even made one area really wide so i can drag my feet through the soft soil JUST LIKE AT THE BEACH!!! :D :D :D

I also have the throbbing headache, Tillie. Sending you much love and some peace.

Keep up the good work everyone.

Good Morning Everybody :)
Tea "clink!" toast.

Hi Subclinical :)
How's the kitchen coming along?
Getting used to it?
Fridge magnets sometimes seem to reproduce rather quickly. ;)

Hi Tess :)
Hope you are feeling better today.
Did you scrub the bathroom?
I have found that throwing myself into a project helps reduce whatever stress I'm experiencing, mostly by just tiring myself out.

Have a throbbing sick headache today.
Hoping the aspirin and tea will help.
The weather here has been wonderful. Cold over night but high 60s/low 70s throughout the day.
Monday & Tuesday I got caught up on the housework.
Today it's mostly just the daily cat stuff to do.
Don't need to go into town for anything and that makes me very happy. :)

Hoping you all are alright and doing well. (((HUGS)))

Hi all -
I hope everybody is staying cool. Where is the fall weather???

Life has gotten in the way of my little project, but now I'm back at it. Some repair men might be coming in soon, so now I have to kick it into high gear. I'm sick to my stomach by the idea. My nerves are so bad I just want to curl up in bed and sleep. It doesn't help that I wasn't feeling 100 percent before. I'm going to try to hold down some soup and take a nap after work. It might help soothe my nerves. Any other suggestions are welcome :)

Today I think I'm going to focus on cleaning the bathroom. I need to give it a good top to bottom scrub.

Tatoulia, how are you doing?

Tillie, I'm glad you stood up for yourself!

My counter is in! Also dh hooked the water back up and wired the cooktop, and we moved the fridge. The kitchen is now usable!

All I did today was wash one load of laundry and hide from counter people and recover room counter people.

They were two very nice, quiet young men. It should not be so hard.

I might get rid of some fridge magnets.

Good Evening Everyone :)

Hi Anonymoniker :)
Thank you.
Just like you, I would rather do stuff outside any day over inside stuff. :)
WAY TO GO! clearing barefoot paths.
I do that too. ;D

Hi Tatoulia :)
Feel better soon (((HUGS)))
WAY TO GO! recovering the chair!
I like "silly thinks" too ;)

Hi Subclinical :)
Change is hard but it's also good.
Soon you will be used to working in your new kitchen.
All those other little difficulties will work themselves out and you will have that wonderful space to cook in. :D

The weather here today has been wonderful. Right now at 5:00pm it's 72 degrees.
Slept in until 10:00am this morning then very slowly started cleaning the house.
Stuff still needs doing but I am feeling better about having removed the filth.
Tomorrow is soon enough to dust and do laundry and clean the kitchen.
Had to do a lot of thinking since Friday and his mean, nasty, abusive behavior.
It was totally uncalled for.
He knew he had crossed a line and has been trying to be pleasant and sociable ever since I called him out on it.
I want nothing to do with him.
By Sunday I finally took the time to speak to him and said
"find someone else to drive you to your appointments". He said "OK".
I am feeling so much better now.
He did ask me if I wanted to go out to lunch and I said "NO".
Fortunately for him, he has been staying out of my way.

I'm going to misappropriate Silly Thinks.

Hope everyone is okay. I was very ill with nausea and headache last night. Very weak today. Trying to stay hydrated. Going to have BF drop off some gingerale.

Suddenly I am freaking out about the new kitchen.

I am thinking of so many things that are going to be a problem - we don't have a microwave for it yet - the old microwave is built into the wall of the old kitchen and I cook dh an egg in the microwave egg poacher every morning. Where will I put the cookie jar?.....

Silly things. (I accidentally typed "silly thinks"!)

We built this space for the way we want to live, not the way we were living. So now, everything changes.

Tillie, you are quiet, are you ok?

I'm excited for your new kitchen, SubC! And your breakfast nook sounds delightful.

Keep up the good work, everyone! I just re-covered one of the dining table chairs. Much too hot to do a second one. Very very warm here.

Hi Joan!

Tatoulia, your bay window sounds lovely! That is sort of the effect I was going for with my breakfast nook.. It has windows on three sides and opens into the great room. The chairs away from the window and part of the table are actually in the great room, but it is a 50" round table.

Good for you on the clothes!

I am catching up on my laundry, and up to 21 days on my kitchen challenge. Tonight should be 22. I get my new kitchen counters tomorrow and then as soon as dh installs the cooktop, we are moving the fridge and I can cook in the new kitchen. Which one will I clean then? - lol! The new one will be easier because it is not an entry into the house, so it won't be a dumping ground, and the dishwasher is staying in the "mud room" so dirty dishes will go there.

I really should choose the new one, because the point is to have a clean welcoming space in which to pack lunch and make breakfast. The compost will be in the new space also.

Anony, your description is funny.

The idea of raking paths speaks to my soul! I want to go do that now.

Thank you everyone for your support--with your help, I am getting through this!

Tillie it is in the 80s here today--you can have it if you'll send me a blast of cool air!

Spent the day with mom, getting her some wool skirts, getting her groceries, taking her to see brother, etc. I'm a little worn out but I did run one of my own errands--returning a pair of winter boots I'd ordered on line and that are too tight.

Keep up the good work--Anony--I love your sense of humor over the tarp! And yay on vacuuming!

I'm going to put a movie on Netflix and relax for a while. BF is working right now, just stopped by to see him on way back from parking car. He is a good person, Anony, and there is that good person out there for you. The important thing is to be happy with yourself--it has kept me from compromising but let me assure you, I did plenty of compromising n the past. It's wonderful to be over that! my crankiness these past few days aside, I do value my alone time.

Much love to all and thank you again for helping me. PS I did get a bag of clothes together for goodwill but decided to return my boots today instead. But I've kept with the challenge and will move the bag to the car this week.

~Greetings to all!~
Joan, i thought of you this morning after reading something on the internet by a government whistleblower....wow?! There is so much going on that is quite frightening....my only way to offset it is through getting back to natural living & lots of visualization & grounding(barefoot) & sending light to the pineal gland! I hear you about judging ourselves about our homes. That is one of my biggest challenges!
Tillie, the weather where you are is crazy?!! Im glad you made it back ok! Driving in freeway rush hour is one of the scariest things i ever have to do! Good for you to take the reins & get home in the right direction!
Tatoulia, you are such an amazing & wonderful person! You do so much & are so nurturing & so wise! Please dont beat yourself up? And im still staying very sure of wanting a relationship like yours...i think about it a lot & i dont want anything less! Ill never do that needy, controlling, possessive guy thing again!!! Ive gotten so much clearer on that because of you! Thank you! :D
My trailer looks like its wearing a fringe jacket with the tattered tarp...ha ha As far as a vacuuming update; the wind has been too strong to change the bag outside, until today, so im going to do that & hopefully vacuum today!
Ive been clearing weeds & raking barefoot paths! ....i know the inside is what needs work, tho...its almost like working outside is a reward for having worked on the inside some.......some of these words were suppose to type in at the bottom are really hard to see the whole word...?!?
~♡~Happy endeavours to you all!~♡~