I wish I could edit after I post but ill try to fix the unclear post I made.


To me if a hoarder is unwilling to allow others to clear and clean those three places. Then I would just let it go and not go back. But keep the relationship outside of the home, stay engaged is she ever reaches out for help.

Make a deal ,invite her to help you do some chores at your place and then if she allows it get in hers and get it to the point a maid can take over. Those vital areas .

Are the children able to help in any way?
So that the woman can build upon the three rooms

Like one removes objects from the floor , so that the next kid can vacuum. And the other can can put it all back in order.
So that hall ways and stairs are cleared and clutter free.
And an expectation of laundry being put in drawers or closets and not anywhere else. Those are simple tasks that supervised children can do.
But they go a long way in home when facing a CPS Investigation.

In my past , I just didn't give enough task assignments .
But I've learned most people like to little jobs that they can take ownership of . It's good to reward those completed tasks with positive attention.

Not to be funny.
I'm really trying to be sincere .

Can you gift someone a maid?
Like a Christmas gift card?

And as that room say the kitchen and bathroom are professionally cleaned. Then help personally with the living room so that you are comfortable .

I'm no expert in anyway, or will ever claim to be.
But speaking from the hoarder side.
My invites don't come back when the liviving is trashed , or the kitchen is moldy, or the toilet is filthy .

To me if a hoarder is unwilling to allow others to clear and clean those three places. Then I would just let it go and not go back.

Make a deal , have help you do some chores at your place and then get in there and get it to the point a maid can take over.

In this way you may find others on her social media that may want to pitch in , but not if the first room is cluttered , no where to sit , eat, wash, or pee. No one else will want to go in there and help either.

I like it that your see her and family in different lenses than just their house condition. I think the other poster are right. How involved do you want to be? How willing are they to accept help?

How involved are you willing to be?

How hard would it be to clean the sink?

Hi, Heather!
I have wanted & needed a trusty pet care person for many years...one that would not freak out over the condition of my home. That is the main thing that comes to my mind from this situation. :D

Hi, Heather!
I have wanted & needed a trusty pet care person for many years...one that would not freak out over the condition of my home. That is the main thing that comes to my mind from this situation. :D

Hi there -
I'm happy to have found this forum. I've never reached out on a forum before but feel this needs to be escalated.

I was asked to animal sit for a friend who is gone for the weekend. I'm happy that I did, however, now I'm feeling very bad for her and her husbands living situation.

Mold, ants, room full of dirty laundry, 6 inside dogs, fleas, smells horrible, no clean surface area and disgusting kitchen. I didn't even want to wash my hands there after feeding, so I waited till I returned home.

The home inside looks like it's been 'squatted' in.

The odd thing is - I really like this woman and her family. She is fantastic and I'm shocked about the condition.

Now - I don't know what to do. Please help.