I feel for you. Since you're not in so far, consider your choices. You may want to tell him you are taking a "time out" to consider how you feel about all this, that you're not attacking him.
Or you can tell him that his problem is affecting your own mental health and you have to leave or leave for a while to give him time to get his own help.

I always take responsibility for my participation but I'm in it for long, been living together 12 years and have an 8 year old daughter. I have to do a two prong ultimatum or she will be damaged and I will get really sick.

IT's very different to date someone like me who takes medication and is not in denial. I told him all about my illness as soon as I met him and he knew I was taking meds and in treatment. I always admit to having depression or mania

I'm new here. I have been in a relationship for 9 months. I should of ran when I saw the first red flag..his car. I want to walk away but fear this will cause more harm and put him him a depressive spiral. I learned ultimatiums don't work. He will always choose his stuff first.