Hello Sandy,
Sorry to read about this, you have my sympathies.
She is not really choosing material items over family.
She has a psychological dysfunction.
At 80 years of age, trying to change her thought processes is probably futile.
Only thing you can really do is read everything about this condition and become well educated on the subject.
At the top of this page are links to a lot of information.
Counseling for you and your family could really help even if she doesn't attend.
You may have to accept the fact that you truly are helpless to help save her from herself.

Best wishes, Tillie

My MIL completely destroyed her home. The hoarding was extreme. She had tunnels to her bathroom, bed, and not much else. She had been reported by a worker who came in to fix something and received notice from the town to pick up, but nothing followed. Her health was deteriorating fast from the mold and other terrible conditions she was living in. We finished an area for her in our walkout basement. She has a bathroom, refrigerator, microwave, and sink in her studio. It's been a constant losing battle for about 3 years. We went in this weekend and had to clean it. This wasn't the first time. She initially consented when given an ultimatum of we either do it, or she leaves. It was so much worse than expected. Over 11 hours for two people to clean a 12x14 area without her there. Over 15 bags of garbage, carpet ruined, cabinet hinges ruined, standing water under the mounds of dishes left on the counter top, tons of QVC unopened packages, bags, used containers, etc. We're still not done, but we had to stop. Things got argumentative with her. She's very irrational and we've all come to an agreement, including her, that she has to leave.

My question is, now what? She still never dealt with her home and can't live there. I think she understands that. I looked at apartments for her by her house and maybe she can afford that. She's 80. We took her in because we felt it was the most humane thing to do. Sending her back is certainly not the best thing for her, but she can't live with us any longer. I think her best option is an assisted living place, but that won't happen. She won't do that. She'd have to give up her stuff. She is functional, minus this terrible problem. I don't know what to do if she's unable to afford the apartment. What choices are there?

With an apartment, we're just going to take all of her stuff from here and bring it there, over 3 hours away so she can be near her unlivable house. It's so depressing that a person can do this to their family. We have daughter that is so confused and extremely hurt. I'm positive my husband feels the same way. How does a person choose junk over their family?

Thank you in advance for any help.