Hi Dave :)

What you wrote is true and that is some very helpful information.

The sad part of people wanting to find help to change a hoarding person into a non-hoarding person is that it will only work if the person who hoards wants to change and is willing to put in all the hard work to do so.

All that information about protecting themselves legally is priceless.

STOP! DROP! and ROLL! You are shovelling xxxx against the tide and you are not likely to win. Take a look at threads started by "wife" and "teecher" in this section, and by "AJ" in the welcome to the new board section.

What I am going to say is my opinion only, and could be construed as unhelpful and inflammatory, but... 1) unless your mother in law is willing to change and both she and her family are willing to be involved with some counselling OR 2) There are grounds for, and you are willing to take-possibly without the support of your husband, legal action of some kind, I do not see that you can do anything to correct this situation.

I think the only thing you can do is to take direct, concerted action to see that you and your husband's own finances and living and storage spaces do not support and/or enable your mother in law's tendencies to excessive gathering. You could also attempt to get legally binding documents signed by the rest of the family excluding you and your husband from any legal requirement to fund future cleanup and living costs for your mother in law prior to turning control of the cash flows over to another family member.

The post after post after post I see on this site suggest to me that there is no pain free way the situation you describe can be resolved and it seems like a resolution that would give you some measure of recovery of mental and physical health is going to involve either withdrawal or confrontation.

International OCD Foundation also has a Resource Directory. You can search for help by geographic area.

IOCDF Help for Hoarding

Coincidentally, their 2016 Annual Conference on Hoarding will be in Chicago this year: July 29 - August 1

The Program Schedule just went online a couple days ago, if you'd like to see the presentations that will be offered:

2016 Annual Conference Schedule

I know it's an extremely challenging situation and hope you & your family are able to make progress.

At the top of this page is a link titled
NATIONAL RESOURCES
click on that and then on your area for a listing of resources near your location.
Good Luck :)

If anyone knows of any support groups, doctors, etc..in the Chicago area please send them on.
My husbands family has been in denial. We just got lucky when my mother in laws 2 bedroom condo had a pipe break inside her unit. It was the condo's outside pipe that broke and their insurance had to pay. With that, she took a bunch of pills and my husband found her. 1 month in the hospital. She loved the attention. Meanwhile, me..the daughter in law takes charge. New flooring, new bath, kitchen etc. Beautiful. The entire place revamped.She is living in the revamped 2 bedroom. OH...every cabinet, drawer, closet...filled again. Starting to over flow into the room. But my husband and his siblings..."Oh she is working on clearing it out herself" NO SUCH LUCK. She is slowly starting up again. Meanwhile I am revamping a 1 bedroom that she had filled. Almost ready to rent. Money comes to me..I take care of the finances. My husband and siblings are in denial! I told them she needs to be visited on a weekly basis..My sister in law is 5 minutes from the condo. I am 40 minutes. Can someone go and visit with her? Really. I need help. I am ready to blow! THANK YOU!! ANYONE OUT THERE! Chicago Girl!