Hi
Forgive me for my amateur input.
I life from the earliest stages we learn , change and grow.

But the people that surround us often resist our changes and continue to treat us the same as they did in the past.

Young girls often shun their friends and and emerge in different group with their persona reinvented.

Men usually do this in their forties and is refered to as a mid life crisis. where the men shun their inner core of family and friends. However the women at that age have learned to change persona without shuning their core family and friends.

Please understand that I'm just making an assumption and wild guess, I don't know you or the situation. But you may feel like you did in the past, however you have power over your persona, and most likely learned from the feelings the bullies had on you. changed and grew into whom you are now.

Also. Just an example .
I was at a party , was introduced to someone I've never met. I introduced myself as a zoo keeper as a joke. No matter how many times I tried to explain. No I'm actually a courier most of the time. They still ask me about the zoo keeper duties.
The first impression is a very strong factor in what people think of eachother. So it's perfectly reasonable to avoid certain people that can't let go of the past.

Trust is big factor too. Once it's lost, we don't have to keep subjecting ourselves to people and places we don't trust. I've found in my personal life when someone keeps making the errors in judgment that have a chat with them about trust. Not so much a big scene or a drama, but a sincere talk about trust. I suppose like a mature break up with a persons behavior. I mean if those bullies are in our life and cant be avoided. Using the trust talk to change the the cycle of repeating the behavior. For instance asking them to lunch or a coffee or bar, and inviting them to adopt a more positive outcome. Let them see you're persona changes and how youve grown intoyoure current more mature persona.
So of course if they still won't stop , then do what makes you most comfortable.

Again this is just my personal experience.

And to Tie it to hoarding. I have more than one Facebook page. One is open to my home. And the other is strictly not on the family level. My former classmates are never going to see details about my workplace or pictures from inside my home. I don't really know them nor they me. But I still like being connected to many of them. My personal belief that social media is a great resource for when only a social solution can help me out. Staying too isolated , isn't a good fit for me. So using social media help me show my current persona and also not allow any bullying to occur quietly, hidden or hushed.

Best wishes!

Thank you, Dave and Tillie, and a huge apology for not responding soon.
I saw you messages, but couldn't answer them on those days.

My emotional reaction was clearly exaggerated. Fortunately nothing happened :-)
The teacher didn't even contact me.

Hi Mar :)
Yes, I remember you :D

This is what I have done to remove and keep certain people out of my life.
I do not reply to any of their letters.
Should they call, I speak to them as if they have the wrong number. Polite but cold.
Should they confront me in person...
I act as if I do not know them, walk right past them out in public.
If they come to my home they are treated as trespassers and ordered off my property.

We have a right to decide who we want in our lives.
Please do not allow these people to have any more control over your thoughts, emotions or dreams.
Don't allow their existence on this planet to interfere with your life.
Take a stand for yourself.
Try to change your mind set to one of indifference, should you ever have to confront any of them ever again.

I know, easier said than done, but with practice I have found it becomes easier with a LOT of "self talk" that I have a right to not let these people ever control my emotions ever again.

(((HUGS)))

Shinzen Young

Break Through Pain.
Printed book with cd for the meditation exercises. Concepts can be extended to emotions.

Break Through Difficult Emotions.
CD only (as near as I can find). Book on one CD, exercises on another.

I have recently started reading (listening) in these books. I am finding them both useful in dealing with emotions (and their physical effects) from the school time periods in my life.

Both are available on eBay. The emotions one is more expensive.

Hi all, I hope you remember me :-)

This is the story:

From elementary to high school I was bullied by several of my classmates, by means of social exclusion, mockery, stealing things, apparently because I was the best student of my class.

After finishing high school I felt free and was losing contact with them (fortunately!!!) Since then, every time I see one of them, even my "friends" or those who didn't participate in the bullying, I feel the urge to go away. If any of my current friends result to be an acquaintance of any of them or their relatives, my alarm system is turned on.

One of my recurring dreams (or nightmares...?) before college was some of them arriving to the same class with me. Even now, more than 15 years later, I dream that from time to time.

The farther the better. I don't hate them neither wish any harm, but I do NOT want these people in my life again, ever.

Well, I met an old teacher. It was nice to see him, but the difficult thing started when he asked my name in FB and said he has contact with my classmates. I gave it... I'm afraid someone find me and identify me :-(

Sorry if this post isn't directly related to hoarding, but I needed to talk about and I have a clutter of feelings and fears.

TY