Thank you Jessica. The kind words here really help. I for the first time in a long time. I don't feel alone.

Thank you Jessica. The kind words here really help. I for the first time in a long time. I don't feel alone.

I typed something out this morning on my phone and I guess I didn't post it right. Let me try again.

Hello and welcome ((hugs)) I'm so sorry that you were forced to confront everything when you weren't ready and have people in your house. I can imagine how difficult that would be. Honestly, I'm really impressed with you, how you've started to take action and how you're reaching out here for support. Sounds like the makings of new healthier behaviors and a happier future for you!

I started to come to terms with my issues a couple years ago now and my life is already dramatically different (better!). This place is great, I'd also recommend reading some books about hoarding (Tillie mentioned one) and possibly therapy if you're open to it. I discovered I have OCD and that's at the heart of my issues so my therapist has been able to help me cope with that.

We will be here to celebrate with you and to hear your struggles. You definitely are not alone. You'll begin to clear the clutter out of your life and it will go from feeling awful and overwhelming to making you feel free. The healing is truly worth the work.

I wish you the best of luck!

Tillie, thank you
I think that is what my brothers did, went the total opposite way and keep little.

We watched my mom and I did the same darn thing of shoving stuff, hiding stuff, just keeping stuff.

(((hugs))) Feeling Lost

Heredity does play a role in it in some cases.
A trauma, mental or physical, also can trigger it.
Also it can be learned behavior, a child with a hoarding parent learns by observing the parent.
In some cases a child of a hoarder will go in the opposite direction and keep very little.
There really is no one thing that can lead to hoarding because we are all individuals with different histories, but the examples I gave have been shown to be the most common causes.

Hi everyone. I'm stressed today. This situation is doing a number on my digestive system. I'm having trouble seeing a light at the eND of this dark tunnel I am in. I pray and pray for strength.
I hate being this way, I'm normally strong. I just want to be "normal" if there is such a thing.

On another note, do you think heredity has a role in hoarding? My two sisters are as bad as I, and my mom
were. My 3 brothers aRE no where near hoarders.

(((Feeling Lost))) Come over to the daily board and post away. Read old posts on these boards when you need some ideas or encouragement. Visit the Gratitude thread each day and post one thing you are grateful for. Helps refocus. Here's cheering you on!

(((BIG HUG FOR FEELING LOST!!!)))

WAY TO GO!!! Feeling Lost on letting go of so many bags! :D
You say you have a LOT of clothes.
Unfortunately, more will have to go before you are down to a manageable level.
We all know how hard sorting and making decisions about clothes are.
This is when we say to take baby steps.
Sort out a small amount of clothes. Maybe even just 5 or 6 pieces.
Let go of any that are too worn, stained, do not fit, are not your style.
Keep the ones that fit, are in good repair and make you feel good wearing.
Put the "keepers" away and get the rejects to the thrift shop and the damaged stuff to the trash.
Then do a "Happy Dance" say WAY TO GO!
Only sort another small batch when you are not felling overly stressed by the process.
Switch things up. When a task is getting to you, stop and go do something else for a while then come back to the task refreshed. :)

It is perfectly acceptable to post here when you are down. We all have those ups and downs and this a great place to get support. :)

Welcome, FL. I am so sorry about your situation. It must have been mortifying all around. I think that any one of us here can relate, as well all know the struggles with hoarding-embarrassment, shame, feelings of being overwhelmed, etc. but we also find ways to feel accomplished and successful and worthy.

Please post often--not just when you are feeling low. We are here and believe it or not, you are helping us as much as anyone here is helping you. it is a community.


So, how are you today? Today I am working from home. I will be able to do some laundry during the day. I have a lot of things to sort through and will work on it during lunch hour. I have inherited quite a bit of stuff lately, and I need to find places for everything. I have a large batch of artwork to sift and sort through. What will be hung, what I will give away, what needs to be taken off my walls (and given away) to make room for the new stuff. It gives me a headache, but I need to stay on top of the clutter. As soon as I put it down, I stop seeing it. And I just can't live this way anymore.

Oh thank you all so much. Just "talking " with you in one day, I think there is hope. I am going to start a journal and I think I might even get that book. I guess I'm not sure what I need support for but I think you guys do. I'm happy to be welcomed in and is it ok to post daily if I'm feeling particularly low?

The thought of recluttering at a high rate scares me. I do think the humiliating situation could help me avoid but I guess I don't know how to live without the clutter. It's like I'm in a different house.

My biggest vice was clothes, piles and piles of clotges. When I had to clean them all with this bb (sorry I hate even saying the horrible life altering pests name) I had to get a POD storage thing and the clean clothes are in it. Maybe 20 contractor bags worth. I don't know exactly what to do with them now? How to store, etc. My house is old with small closets, which are full. That is making me nervous, I'm paying for this,storage and I'm afraid that the pests will come back, even though I don't know how we got them. I travel for my job, moMs visiting nurses,random place, who knows.

Also I did get rid of probably another 20 bags of clotges, either trash or giveaway.

Oh? I'm sorry Feeling Lost? I didn't mean to be unaware of how you were feeling and what you needed to hear. I guess I was just imagining how I'd feel..or rather how I thought I'd feel...I don't really know.... I support you in whatever you need to heal from and process this!

Anonymoniker
When a person is not mentally ready for a huge purge and one happens, they more often than not fill the home right back up again in record time.
They must deal with the "letting go" and have personal inner change for any change to be permanent.
BUT, this can be fixed right now to help prevent Feeling Lost from recluttering.
Together we can all help Feeling Lost get through this difficult time and find peace and joy in this new life situation Feeling Lost is now living. :)

For me, seeing my place through my stepson's eyes has helped me get real! Maybe for you, seeing it through the exterminators' eyes will help you to remember that, and all that went with it,and be able to stay free and light?

....it might be that cuz of the intensity of it all, and the humiliation, you might be less likely to go back?

(((HUGS))) Feeling Lost :)

When people experience a huge clear out without being mentally ready for it they feel exactly the same way you feel.
A good book for you is
"Buried In Treasures"
it can help you learn how to not fall back into cluttering and hoarding.
It focuses on using CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) which has shown to be the best way to help.
In The Daily Chat we post about our daily plans or struggles or our hopes and desires.
You could even start a journal to write out your feelings.
Just writing or posting really does help us to make a good solid plan and stick to it or pin down our inner thinking/feelings.
Right now the most important thing for you to do is to take care of yourself. Eat properly and get enough sleep.
Be kind to yourself. :)

....I hope I don't seem to be minimizing your trauma or dismissing the stress and panic you obviously must be going through?! I'm just currently experiencing the other end of that spectrum and not liking it...

Thank you for the kind words. I'll take all the cyber hugs I can get.

The part that it is done is the only upside. I just hope I can adjust and in no way allow myself to go back to the ways of just making piles of stuff. I think this board might help, sometimes just helps to talk to someone who knows even a bit of what I'm going through. God bless all of you.

Feeling Lost, I've been watching my friend go through a similar situation for the past few months and envying her for getting hers done so much faster,and in many ways easier, than me. She had applied for a charity program to get her water pipes fixed after a severe freeze, and when they messed it up, officials had to come evaluate it and she got threatened with her house being condemned! She went into panic full time overdrive and she's still going,but her place looks absolutely gorgeous now!
Yours will be too, soon! It is hard to have to go into crisis mode, but there is a definite up side to that?! (((hugs!!!)))

That sounds like quite an ordeal. I wish I could give you a big hug!!! As difficult as all that was,just imagine, it's over in one big step, and now you can start to live fresh, rather than spend agonizing, procrastinating years trying to slowly clean and sort!
You do need to get yourself something cozy, fuzzy and warm and clean to sleep in! That may likely feel like the appropriate reflection of new beginning of your new era! And soooo very well deserved!
How wonderful it's over! As the next weeks pass I bet you'll feel a huge relief! Even tho you're exhausted and emotionally drained and in shock right now! I wish I could give you a comforting hug! (cyber hug!!!)
Give yourself credit for an amazing feat accomplished! CONGRATULATIONS!!! :D
I am agonizing over every step of my mess. I know I'm dragging decisions out that aren't important in the scheme of things. I envy you! It may have been a blessing in disguise? :D

Hi everyone. It was suggested I post here. What I really need is a hug.
I have gone through so much in the last month I am truly not sure how I'm still functioning.

I live with my 80 yr old mom who is a hoarder, she sleeps downstairs in a recliner as she broke her neck a few years ago and cannot lay flat. We have 5 bedrooms and one was more cluttered than the next. Only one had a viable walkway. I knew it was like this and I knew it had to be cleaned bit I thought if I ignore it, it will go away.

So then my mom started being bit my something, went to dr. Have her meds and said should go away. Kept happening. Then on July 31 she found two bugs on her recliner, I saw them. Yep, bedbug. 8-1 was the worst day. Exterminator salesman came out that Monday and verified. To my horror he had to go on my upstairs, he took pictures, I was humiliated beside the fact I was terrified of the pests. He said that the place must be cleared so they could do the treatment.he said you have alot of work to do. They gave me the date of 8-18 for the treatment. I had to take 2 weeksoff from work,I was doing this on someone else's schedule. I basically emptied my house with some help from the family members who were not afraid to come into the house. I worked all day and night throwing away my "life" I was exhausted, bruised, but 2 40 yrd dumpsters later ready for the treatment. The guy was in shock of the difference in the house. Almost a month later, I am still not convinced the awful pests are gone. We have had exterminator back out 3 times. So beside this awful humiliating experience, I am now in debt from the treatment, dumpsters, new stuff I needed to get for beds, etc.

I am now dealing with the awful feelings of just throwing things away with no thought. I have nothing left. I'm sitting here cold as I didn't even want to keep blankets. I'm upset with every aspect of this. I can't ever go back to where I was. I need help and support with people who may understand this.

No one knew my house was so bad upstairs. I would never allow anyone up there, always an excuse.

Thank you to anyone who might have some suggestions on how I get through this. Thank you.