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Hoarding Help Message Boards : The Daily Chat : I keep buying candles
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I keep buying candles
   

Tatoulia
Posted: 03 August 2015 - 09:06 PM
Fresh lemons! Makes me want to clean! Wish I'd read this at 7:00 pm and not 10:00 pm.
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Tillie
Posted: 03 August 2015 - 07:53 PM
I use a lot of fresh lemons.
Put it in my tea, make fresh lemonade and enjoy it squeezed onto a lot of my foods.
I take the peels and place them into a pan of water and simmer them to make the house smell lemony fresh.
I also do that with any grapefruit, orange, lime and tangerine peels.
Add a bit of cinnamon and cloves to the pot sometimes too. :)
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Reader66
Posted: 03 August 2015 - 04:29 PM
Thanks for the responses. It somehow helps to just talk about this, with people who understand. Gets it out of my head, if you know what I mean.

I really do just love the smell of lemons for whatever reason. I am baking lemon bread right now and the smell of lemons on my hands makes me happy. Maybe I should buy actual lemons instead of candles. Much more useful and they don't clutter up the place!
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Tatoulia
Posted: 02 August 2015 - 11:31 AM
Hi Reader! Glad to see you back. Interesting comments from everyone. I agree that scents trigger something inside me but luckily due to allergies, I don't have any candles in the house. But I know the feeling. I also know that sometimes I see something and it reminds me of (my words) a far-away place, and I have to buy it. Something reminiscent of an old dream or an easier time in my life.

I don't know what to say but will tell you what I did just after Christmas when the sales of Christmas items were calling my name. I'd shop on on line, put everything I wanted in my cart (at the multiple quantities I so enjoy--you know that feeling of having enough to give away) and then I'd slowly eliminate some of the items. And eventually, I'd just delete the whole cart. I found it just as satisfying. I'm not saying it's a cure all, but I found it helped me through the anxiety of the sales, sales, sales.

Good to hear from you!
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Tillie
Posted: 01 August 2015 - 03:56 PM
Scents trigger things in our brains.
Things from our past are very often associated with and memories are triggered with certain scents.
Do a google search on "aroma" therapy.
Something like apple makes us feel relaxed or peppermint can make us feel more alert.
There has been a lot of study over the years on how scents can and do affect our emotional states.
Lavender makes me feel happy and safe and patchouli makes me feel like everything is as it should be with my personal life and thought processes.
Maybe you are searching for scents to make you feel like you desire to feel inside?
Smell essential oils and think about what it stirs up in you, is that what you are searching for?
:)

I also have and regularly burn scented candles and incense and enjoy different essential oils.
Right now I am burning a balsam fir candle. :D

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Reader66
Posted: 01 August 2015 - 02:29 PM
Hmmm. Interesting about the books. I sometimes will go to stores and just smell candles (and body lotions, come to think of it. I have a ton of different scented body washes and lotions). I smell them until my nose is just overwhelmed, lol. I want to have certain smells in my house. It is so weird though because I was so determined to have a strong lemon scented candle at home so my house would smell "lemony fresh". I bought 4 or 5 different lemon candles before I found one that is strong enough and now I rarely even burn it. I want other scents like watermelon or apple or pine, but when I finally get them they just sit there. I think some of it is, I want to eat apple pie (or chocolate or cinnamon rolls or whatever) but don't want the calories so I obsess over having the scent of the candle instead. I also have a strong desire/longing for a home that is squeaky clean and SMELLS clean, but instead of cleaning I buy candles that smell like a clean house, or fresh laundry, etc. once in awhile I will buy a floor cleaner that smells good but it is way easier to light a candle than to pick up the clutter and mop the floor.
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Roxie
Posted: 01 August 2015 - 02:19 PM
Hi, you two. I don't know if it is anything like with me and books. I go to Goodwill, or the sales section at the library, or yard sales and buy bags of books I want to read. I notice that when I have a lot of books yet to read, I feel rich and happy.

However, once read, I have no trouble passing all but a few along, donating them back to where I got them from or redistributing elsewhere. It makes me happy to think another avid reader will get to enjoy them.

With the scent "fixation," do you have to have them around, or just to have smelled them? In other words, own or just experience? I collected candles for a long time, but I also burned them frequently to enjoy the sight and scent. I don't think that was a fixation for me, though.

I do notice that with a food item I might become obsessed and eat it a lot. I've learned that for me, that type of obsession will pass if I just accept it and go with it. And it does.
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Joan
Posted: 01 August 2015 - 02:06 PM

There are probably many causes of this "collecting" type of hoarding. I can definitely relate to the behavior you describe. In my case, it took me decades to realize that my "collecting" behavior was a natural response to very severe mental/emotional abuse. I had a parent who systematically and relentlessly destroyed anything of value to me (including people). So whenever I find something that makes me feel better, I have to have many "copies" of that something, because I need many duplicates in order to have even a tiny chance that ONE of the item will escape destruction. Although this abuse has now been stopped, the behavior pattern to try to dodge the abuser is still very deeply ingrained in me.

Honestly I don't know how many other hoarders can relate to this, but I hope it helps some.
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Reader66
Posted: 01 August 2015 - 01:07 PM
Some of you may remember me posting earlier this year. No real progress since then.

I noticed that I am kind of obsessed with scented candles. I have always liked them and had several but this year I bought like 8 Yankee candles (and burned each one maybe once... some have not gotten burned at all yet). Then started buying them at the mall at Bed Bath and Beyond, 4 or 5. Then someone told me about Diamond candles with the rings in the wax, so I bought 4 of those. Then found some on clearance at TJ Maxx... and last week got one at the mall. I have ALL these candles now but I keep wanting to buy more. I see a sale online and go to the website and pick out what candles I want, but don't buy them because some part of me knows this is not a good thing. I have 12 candles on my fireplace mantle right now and more in other places. I think I have stopped myself from buying more. And I really do not want to get rid of any of them. I might burn one twice a week.

I am trying to understand what this is really about, because it sort of epitomizes my hoarding type behaviors. I look at the candles and it is not the candles I really want. I don't care about their color or appearance or having them on a shelf. I care only about the smell. Something about the different scents is obsessive to me. I still really really want more smells of candles but I know that is just a really bad idea.

Any idea what the heck is going on that makes a person do this kind of thing? And no, I can't give away or get rid of any of these candles... not now.
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