Keeping a good sense of humor really does help. :)

Yes, that elusive "magic wand" would make life so much easier. ;D

Thank for your time and caring to respond to my post everyone it does and means a lot to me I usually am not one to do anything like this but I think it is a start for me. It nice to know people take time out of their day to help and support people they don't with out judging them. I think once my parents house is sold and the medicaid process is started that will be major weight off my back, my mom's and my father hoarding will still be and issue I also know this is a major change in her life for her which affects the hoarding so that area just seems to be a big circle. Still looking for that magic wand lol. Trying to keep sense of humor.
Thank you so much again

(((Greta))) Being related to a hoarder or living with one can be SO damaging because it is difficult to understand the psyche of a hoarder. That is why I recommend doing all the reading about it you can, and perhaps getting some counseling. You can locate counselors in your area by clicking on the National Resources link.
Use whatever resources are available for you and/or you parents. I have noted it almost always seems that hoarders choose things over people and that has to hurt others. But try to get a mental image of a mouse on a sinking raft...the panic, worry, etc. it would feel. That's probably how your mom feels.

Anyway, my interest is you take care of yourself. You are a good daughter trying her best in what it always a tough situation. ((( )))

Hi Greta :)
No apology is necessary.
Vent all you need to here.
You are a very good daughter, honestly. Helping your parents as much as you are.
I know it hurts when your mother criticizes you and doesn't show appreciation.
(((hugs)))

Having abad mornining woke up in panic mode had and argument with my mom over the weekend when I went to do bills for her and my father she told me I am nasty and li cause arguments . My mom is still asking about stuff we cleaned out at the house and when I tell her did she look at that stuff in the shed she says no we probably threw it away because we all got pleasure from going though her stuff. Honestly no one enjoyed it in fact I am very saddened over everything and when I tell her that she says I know but I need my stuff when I tell her how I feel she says I know but you don't understand my stuff is important. I stated that some days she gets me so upset that I could have a panic attack heart attack or nervous breakdown an her response is who would do my hair when I say that really hurts my feelings she will say that's not how I meant it . How else would you take that other she doesn't care
Sorry just had go vent.

Greta :)
Thanks for the update and I sincerely hope things go well for all of you.

Just wanted to let everyone know my nephew is helping he is actually stay in the house and working on it, my husband is helping to try and take the stress off of me . So hopefully the loan will go though quicker today would be nice lol. My brother and wife helped but go out of town a lot in the summer and call to toget updates and suggest what should be or maybe how they would do it. The sad thing is the last time they were gone my mom and sis in law had words on the phone which ended with my sis in law basically telling my mom she is sick and she didn't realize how sick she is and that she needs help and should go talk to some one which ended up with my mom calling me my sis in law calling me to warn me her and my mom had words. Just bad position to be put in for all I guess as write this I do realize I have some help but not without problems but sometimes still feel very alone can't wait for that feeling to end. Thanks again for the suport

Thank you all for your comforting words it makes me want cry that people who don't even know you can be so nice

Dear Greta,

My heart goes out to you and while I cannot imagine what it is like being in your shoes, can see you have a kind loving heart and are very worn by how challenging all is both emotionally and physically.

I am so sorry that so much is on your shoulders, unappreciated and as well know what it is like to work myself to the bone to then not be thanked and maybe blamed and made out as though as have been negative. You have a very challenging path to walk, although are DOING it.

Be strong and post as often as you can. We also have chat meetings it would be great to see you in, as there are others who come to Sunday nights who are dealing with sorting a family members hoarding.

Will keep you in my thoughts, as well as I am sure anyone who reads your post will. One day it will pass, although for now.....trust it will be ok and you will get there. You are a good person and so long as you know that, that is all that matters. There are greater more powerful things are work in this universe that I know will take care of and look out for you.

Take as good of care of yourself as you can....

Peace

Hi, Greta, glad to see you posting here!

Hi Greta,
Very sorry to hear about the position you have been put in.
Honestly, I have no suggestions to help you.
Sounds like everybody has dumped all the responsibility on you and then they just stand back and complain about everything.
What I would do is gather up all the important items and store them somewhere to keep them safe.
Tell the nephew that he must help since he is the one with the loan pending and if he didn't help the property would then be sold "as is" to some other buyer.
As for your mother's attachment to her possessions, I suggest you read "Digging Out" to get some insight into how people who hoard think and feel about their possessions.
It is a mental disorder that causes them to feel and react this way.

Best wishes, Tillie

Drowning about sums it up have to clean parents house the mortgage company will give my nephew the money to buy the house otherwise no loan Mom and Dad move out of there last year my father is physically unable to help and the fact he now is in a nursing home Mom is in new home. We are cleaning the house sadly without help from my mom who unfortunately thinks the mortgage company should NEVER have this as condition because don't they understand her husband is in a nursing home. No matter what I do I get grief for most everyone in my family except my father. Yesterday I took stuff down to my moms( clothes and some brick a brack I knew she would want put in her shed as she asked) sis inl law and brother were mad at me they thought if she couldn't do it herself it should go to goodwill on Friday. Husband was annoyed because there was something a set aside when we're cleaning that wanted and when I came the next day was gone sis in law they out it something my children had made for them. The big picture is house has to sell like now because my mom can't afford 2 places and my dad needs to get on medicaid for his ltc and 95% of everything is on me all I want is for my parent to have what they need the way things have to happen is not ideal by any means for anyone but my mom won't think about anything else but her stuff most day I feel that if her stuff I were about to fall off a cliff she would push me over to save her stuff the stuff she does want is just stuff never a mention of pictures of family or thing we given her like the poem I did for her for Mother's Day on year and framed she was more worried about a pair of shoes the were in bad shape because she can't replace them she told why are worried about that poem the shoe are not replaceable to me that's like putting a knife in my heart it makes me think she doesn't love me only her stuff when I am trying to make sure she has the money she to live and make sure she is taken care of and my dad has the same I need advice I am overwhelmed and alway on the verge of tears Roxie suggested I try here for more support which I need greatly