Lol humor really does help!! I've compared myself to Smaug a few times haha!

Lex, Jess, LR, CM, you have all helped me with what you wrote. I hadn't thought about it in years, but as a child, I thought all my stuffed animals and dolls came to life while I slept. So of course, they were my babies. I still have some that I still love dearly.

The biggest hoarders of all are
dragons.
Just look at all the clutter Smaug amassed. ;)

lex, yes!! Talking to the things! It works! :D Well, it makes sense when you think about it - we've given them personality and meaning, so in order to have closure, sometimes we have to carry that through in the parting phase as well.

During my move, I let go of several boxes of cardboard pieces I'd been saving for "future art projects." I did it in stages - getting rid of the ones that were less than perfect, too small to really use, etc.

But when it came down to the "nice" ones, with the clean edges (and they were acid free, I had tested them with one of those special pens!) I really was going to allow myself to keep ONE boxful.

However, in the dealings with all the stuff I had to pack, I decided to go ahead and let go of the "nice" cardboards as well. Two things helped: One, my friend could recycle them for me. She's also on this decluttering journey, which helped a lot. The second thing was that I actually spoke to the box of cardboards and "thanked" them for the lovely dreams of future art projects before handing them over to my friend (who understood and we had a good laugh together over it).

In decluttering, I find that any kind of ritual even if it seems silly, plus a good sense of humor, are big helps in taking the "sting" out of letting go of stuff.

Speaking of humor, after I got moved in my new place, my roommate and I were watching the Lord of the Rings movies. I realize I don't want to wind up like the greedy character Gollum and his "My Precious..." LOL

Critical mass, yes!! Yes, that is exactly how I feel/what's going on in my head!! It's so hard. Something I've tried that has helped is to like talk to the things that I'm getting rid of. Apologize and tell them now they can be donated to someone who will actually use them...Throwing things away is much harder because I feel like I just hurt their feelings for no good reason.
Of course none of these things are actually alive but I just put so much meaning into them that they feel that way to me.
But we can all do this with the help and support of this community! <3

Jess, you said, "I have never done well when I'm not the one doing the cleaning on my own terms. Not saying that's a good way to feel but if it's someone else's idea I feel more anxious and guilty and ashamed." I realize that that's true about me in a lot of areas of life, not just related to cleaning.but I'd never been able to put it into words before. Thank you. What you wrote is helping me to understand myself better!

Yes, meltdowns go with the territory. However, there will also come to be more and more victories and happy dances - that's what I tell myself to keep going! ;)

I have that sentimentality issue so much. Stuffed animals are hard to let go of, funny cartoons and clippings, inspirational stuff, you name it. Everything is imbued with so much MEANING and often I can remember a whole scene or time in my life that stuffed animal or piece of paper was a part of. That part of decluttering, downsizing, is going to be the slowest going, methinks.

Hang in there, and keep availing yourself of the support found here - I am struck by how many commonalities we all have. It won't be difficult to find understanding and empathy when you need it.

Jess, Roxie- Thank you both so much for your kind words. Having this support system is still new for me so it means so much to read your wonderful comments. Jess, thinking about buying nice, new clothes is a really motivating thought to let go of a few things. And Roxie, you are so right about guys lol I know he tries to help and fix things but sometimes you just have to let it out :)

I have never done well when I'm not the one doing the cleaning on my own terms. Not saying that's a good way to feel but if it's someone else's idea I feel more anxious and guilty and ashamed. I just feel really bad about it. So now I try to pick small spaces or categories of things to go through often. I want to make progress, I try not to use it as a way to stall, but basically I want to get to things before someone else brings it up.

As far as feeling strong emotions about an object? Sometimes it is hard for me. Reading books about hoarding helps me. I'm trying to reinforce the idea that my memories don't live and die in objects in my home. Getting rid of something does NOT disrespect or erase my memories.

Also, I think about the cost of keeping things and the benefits of letting them go. In the last year I've gotten rid of a lot of old clothing. I've reclaimed a lot of space and have been able to buy and store new nice clothing that I feel good about wearing. I have freed myself from a lot of guilt and anxiety by shedding a lot of that old stuff.

I'm proud of you for trying and I know you can do this. It will not always come easily but it will always be worth it.

So my bf and I woke up today and he was determined to clean. I, of course, was a little resistant. He just likes to go full force and start cleaning and I get it but that just always stresses me out...but we were able to compromise and clean for a little bit if I could put on food network while we clean. It was fine but then I started crying over getting rid of a pair of jeans. They're old, ripped jeans that I don't even wear any more and yet it was so hard and the emotions came so quick...How do you cope with that?