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Dearest Dianne,
Am so very sorry I missed your postings and have not been back on the boards since mid December. Between the holidays, landing in hospital, going away and now being on week three of pnemonia....it has been crazy!
You are such a beautiful supportive person...have been to me, as well as have seen you with many others. Selfishly I want you here and will miss not being able to be in contact anymore. I have on several occasions suggested to new people in chat to come to the boards for support and information as well, due to your welcoming supportive and informative ways(not saying others here are not that way, although you have stood out to and with me that way, so felt comfortable doing so). THANK YOU FOR ALL THE KINDNESS AND SUPPORT YOU HAVE SHOWN ME!!!
Personally I wish there was a way to stay in touch or know your username at the other site. I have known of the other site and checked it out a few times before here, as well before your mentioning of it. I think it is important to be supported and thought this site was about support for people with clutter issues, as well as those who have a close family member or partner who has clutter(although for them about that NOT about cleaning if they do not have personal cleaning issues, as that would be like someone healthy showing what they can do while they exercise next to or along side of someone who is disabled struggling to do any exercise at all---which seems unkind regardless of intention). No offense to anyone, although not possible to be anything else in that context.
Am so sorry you were not being supported Dianne, as I would have supported you had I been here. There sometimes are "issues" that happen here, as many of us have all seen here or in chat. Sadly it makes it less of a support system for those of us here to give and receive support, with the focus being about other issues like competition/control/attempt at being authority etc. It has been said on the boards here I saw sometime ago that it is not the first time for issues here or in chat nor sadly would be the last(surprising though if the issues are with longer time members rather than newbies learning the ropes).
As you have shared with me before.....we are all equal here. Please do not be hard on yourself(judge or compare yourself to another without clutter issues OR even with) about your slipping or say any negative words to yourself. It is complicated and serious process like many others that are more well understood. If a person cannot safely share that they have slipped and recieve support as a response, there is something seriously wrong with priorities of some here or their "reasons" for being here. It is sad you did not feel you could share here and be received and responded to in support. If that is how it was, you just have to rememeber it is the other persons issue....as that is what THIS is all about(supposed to be)!!!
Thank you for speaking your truth here and all of your comfort, support, and loving kindness that I (along with others am certain) have experienced here from YOU. Authenticity is so rare these days. An example to be followed for sure...
I do believe that "non-hoarders" should NOT be offereing advice to hoarders unless asked and of course they are an expert. It should not have to be said that that is irrational and unkind, as well as ignorant to say the least.
I think it is great that the site is open to support those who have friends or family who are hoarders, although maybe there should be a seperate thread focussed on that....so as not to confuse the two and avoid any hard feelings or confusion around what is and is not realistic and keep the support focussed on what it is "meant" to be. Currently it is all jumbled with results impossible to be positive and supportive to all, unless and until that clarity is brought. A comparison between what someone(healthy or not, although a whole different issue) without clutter issues can/will do in a day aside from someone with clutter issues can/will/is able to achieve is just not an appropriate guide to someone with clutter issues. Even what approaches are taken, are an entirely different ball game. THAT is an uneven playing field and no place for comparions, advice or judegemental comments.
It is up to us to make this site Cory has provided us to be user friendly to all, while being respectful to everyone and their goals/purposes here.
We CAN do this without there being conflicts, if we all intend to and are mindful. Thank you so much again for your kindness, sharing and support dearest Dianne. I have not gotten to know very many on the boards here, although do hope you at least come visit IF you want to. Maybe you have outgrown this website and regardless it is time to move on? Feeling unsupported is a very sad reason to have to leave a hoarding website :( Hopefully others can learn from your experience and are mindful as a result.
Ultimately do what is best for and good for you, as you need to have a positive and supportive network for the goals you have and I as well share. Mentors are great and of course from those who have been there, improved and gotten clutter free is non-negotiable(unless an expert like Cory perhaps, although am sure he holds peer support/mentoring from those who have been there very highly----possibly even untouched by an expert?). I want to get there too and am very determind to find my way down the path/through the maze with you.
You have so much to give and share that wherever you go will be blessed with your amazing grace and inspiration....
Lots of love and well wishes,
G xxox
Peace
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