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To all my dear friends on this hoarding board,
The time for me to make a change has come. I've been posting here for 2 years (I think my first post was Feb. 9, 2013) and reading for some time before joining in. I made a lot of progress during that time and I hope I was able to offer comfort and support to others. I was able to exchange emails with 3 posters and thank them deeply for their trust and helping me thru tough times. I've had several conversations with Cory and thank him very, very much for his caring spirit and setting up this site.
Recently I have slipped badly and have been too ashamed to admit that here. Always trying to keep up a positive attitude can be pretty draining.
As some of you know I have been a member of another hoarding website for awhile. There are over 3800 members with hundreds active on any given day. That level of activity was overwhelming at first but before long I was able to make some friends who have become inspirations and mentors for me. Some have advanced to the point of moving into new, smaller homes and are at maintenance level. And they realize as recovering hoarders it will be a lifelong process and the ongoing support of others is a huge part of getting better.
It is an open and very welcoming place. It's been said that non-hoarders are not welcome. Here are the policy guidelines for non-hoarders ~~
Posts by those who aren't "stepping out of squalor": If you are not living in squalor, but are curious about it, welcome. Read, listen, learn. The one thing that we ask is that you not offer unsolicited advice to those who are in squalor. Getting out of squalor may look simple from the outside ("Just throw everything out and CLEAN the place!"), but it's a little different on the inside. It's a bit like someone who's never had a weight problem telling an overweight person how to lose weight. Just eat less and exercise more!
Also, don't bother telling us that living in squalorous conditions is detrimental to our children's health. We know it and hate it. For mothers here, that fact is the single biggest issue behind the drive to change. If guilt is already partially paralyzing us, we don't need more guilt heaped on our heads as we try to alter our lifestyles. Offer support for change rather than condemnation.
As you can see non-hoarders are welcome to read, listen and learn and they are welcome to OFFER SUPPORT.
If you are looking for support in living with a hoarder this is the site to be on.
But for me, as a hoarder, I need to be in a more active community where the posters have been in my place as hoarders and have worked or are working their way out of it.
This has been a very hard decision for me, one I have been thinking about for a long time. I hate to leave a place that has helped me learn so much about myself and where I consider so many people to have been inspirational. What helped me make the decision more clearly is this thread from Warrior Kimmy. I can't do links. Google ~ stepping out of squalor ~ and go to their home site. Click on Introductions and scroll down to *Hi it's Kimmy*. About 6 posts down Lion links to Kimmy's original story 13 years ago. This re-intro thread shows how far she has come and how much she has learned. Beautiful!
I had been reading about Kimmy for some time. In reading this thread again it hit me ~ that's what I want, to be inspired by wisdom and passion that comes from hard-earned experience. It can be done! It was like a thunderbolt ~ no more fooling around, no more half-assed attempts, I need to be on solid ground not being blown around by whatever strikes my fancy for the day.
I don't want to just disappear (although sometimes that can't be helped) without letting people know that I am well. I'll stop back in occasionally.
I am not advocating that anyone else leave this board. Clearly it offers the best advice for professional help in all areas and easy access to one of the best, most experienced, most caring individuals in the business of helping hoarders. Cory has found his calling and I will be forever grateful for his help and encouragement.
But for me now I need to make a fresh commitment to healing; and I think the best place I can do that is in a larger, more permanent group.
God bless all of you, my dear friends. Know that I think of each of you and pray for you nightly.
in peace and love ~~~ Dianne
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