Good to read the updates. Cm many thanks for checking in When I get driving anxiety I want to close my eyes, and it's just terrible.

Tillie good work gluing the cat may back on. Sorry Scooter is being such a bugger.

Work closed early today and I had an eye appt at 2:30, so it was perfect. I chose new glasses and they'll be ready in a week or two. My eyesight hasn't changed too too much, which is a miracle because it's been five years. It feels good to take care of myself. I popped my credit card into my purse this AM and good thing, since they no longer take checks. I've already set up the payment on line, and the credit card is back in the drawer.

Although I walked through the Common on my way home, I wasn't in the part where the flags are and purposefully didn't go over to that side so I'd be sure to get a walk in tomorrow. Anything I can do to trick myself into walking more!

Last year when they were up my artist friend was here We were getting ready to embark on changing my apartment and it was an exciting time for me!

I had to deal with something tough in my closet today. I did it quickly in the AM so I could take it out to the garbage. I'm still feeling regret and a bit of self/loathing.

Good Afternoon

Hot glued the sisal back on Scooter's cat perch scratching post.

Cleaned the kitchen cupboard doors and changed the paper I line the top of them with.

Was nice and sunshiny so I went out and let Scooter come along too.
That horrible wretched beast jumped the fence and went on a 2 hour walkabout.
I called & called & looked & looked, but no Scooter.
Then he sashayed home after I had given him up for dead.

My Lavender plant looks worse than a drowned rat from all the rain.
Maybe it will pull through?

Good Morning Everybody

Hi CriticalMass
Good to catch up with you.

We will be inundated with mosquitos this year too.
The West Nile virus already hit here some years back and I hope we don't have too much of that again.


Today should be a little break in the downpours with just scattered light showers.
Then the downpours are expected to start up again Saturday.
Nice to see sunlight this morning.
Maybe when the rain stops that man will come fix the roof and then I can fix the ceiling?

All the garden plants, bushes & trees are looking very good.
The cold temperatures haven't been so low as to freeze them and they love the rain.

The cats are totally disgusted with all the outdoor wetness and not being able to sit out in the garden.

Plan for today is to hot glue some of the sisal back onto Scooter's cat perch scratch post for him.

Hi everyone

Realized it's getting time for another update.

My friend is still in the hospital till tomorrow. It has just been a matter of things taking awhile to coordinate. She has a bed in the Salina facility waiting. Cardiologist wanted to do a couple more tests today. But only one got done so the other one will happen in the morning.

I will probably cry saying goodbye... and that's okay. And I will brainstorm some way to visit, a driving phobia workaround.

Our mutual friends arrived midafternoon. We all watched TV footage of all the flooding, tornado damage, etc. in KS, OK, & MO. Wonder how much longer all this will last. Rivers and the flood control here are filling up. Can't wait to see how many mosquitoes all this will breed. *sarcasm*

Joan, what wonderful news about your mental health healing! So happy for you.

SubC, I don't mind the animal stories. I'm sorry the sad things happen, but it's how nature works. You're keeping it real. I've dealt with the untimely passing of rabbits and past cats and dogs my own or friends', and volunteering with rabbit rescue. My friend's grandson lost some chickens to a possum recently. There are happy times to balance the sad. I'm starting to hear Elton John singing "Circle of Life" in my head aboug now...

Anyway, everybody take care and be safe with weather, holiday weekend, etc.

Good Evening Everyone

Photo on my news feed showed thousands of U.S. flags planted on Boston Common.

When I had an actual bed that remained a bed all the time and never converted into a sofa, I always kept a quilt on it like a bed spread.
But then I also had to cover my quilts with kitty blankets or sheets to protect my quilts.

So much rain fell again today!
The hail today came down fast & furious, deafening on the corrugated metal carport roof.
This is more like the Spring weather from before the drought.
I remember how it was back in 1988-1990.
When I was moving into this house it was raining daily that April.

Thank you for the insight, Tillie. I was thinking just do the thin white quilt and get rid of the bedspread. I'll do comparison photos for you!

SubC good job not crying. I do hope that one student turns in the work.

The weather is wacky and worrisome. We had another beautiful, cool day today.

I'm tired and having trouble focusing.

Oh try Instagram.com/Susie.7010

Good Morning Everybody

Hi Tatoulia
I like that white bed spread, I like the thin white quilt, I liked the red comforter too.
If the bed spread goes, what would you do?
Go without a bed spread or find a new one or just use the white quilt?
Anyways...
What I like does not matter at all. LOL ;p


It can get very hard deciding what quilts & blankets to keep.
I just thinned out some kitty quilts & blankets.
I'm satisfied with what I kept and what I let go of but someday I know I will go through them again and donate a few more.


Hi Subclinical
Good decision making on what you keep concerning the cards.
WTG! cleaning out your classroom some more!
After the evaluations is the perfect time to take care of the closet.
Right now you have important "Have-Tos" to tend to.


Hi CriticalMass
Worrying about you and the dangerous weather going on. (((HUG)))


Another dark cold rainy day here.
I could be doing more inside stuff during this time but I don't wanna.
Been going out between rain/hail/snow showers checking on my garden plants.
So far they all appear to be very happy.
Sad for the snakes & lizards because they need warmth and sunshine in order to function.

Tatoulia, I had to clear my cache and I can't find your link anymore. I am still in awe of the way you keep considering things you are actually using!

Hi Joan, good to hear you feel a sense of progress and are thinking about enjoying your shoes!

I didn't cry yesterday. Which was really good. I said goodbye to more kids and had an emotional anniversary activity with my oldest Dd.

I went in a shop I like and walked around and admired and touched things and made some mental notes about possible future gifts for people and then I left.

Teacher gifts have started. So far food and gift cards and one package of cool colored pens. I'm keeping them. Also keeping two sweet notes. I have a file folder where I put notes from former students that make me feel like a good teacher - to reread when I need them. Cards that are just signed, or say generic nice things, I recycle.

I have taken care of all my issues with my boys except one who owes me the citations for his report. He will turn them in by tomorrow and get a B, or he will not and get a C. It is his call, and I already wrote the evaluation with the C. (I can edit)

I got my coworker who is leaving to bequeath me his awesome storage case so I can have a changing display of my kids' work next year.

I cleaned out my classroom a little more - filled the trash can. My friend is still leaving me empty plastic bags. :)

Dh walked into our closet last night and asked "what happened in here?" We have set a goal of "after evaluations" for me to clean it out.

Lovely cool night tonight. The party was very nice and it was outside. Everyone was cold but me. Roundtrip was 3 miles so I got my walking in! I stopped at pharmacy on way home to pick up ex and I came in, checked the board and Tillie reminded me re cat litter. So I went back out

I was working on my closet today and I was trying to figure out if I still want to keep my white summer bedspread. It's only a year or two old. I've been going back and forth because I do like the thin white quilt with the smaller quilt at the bottom of the bed (as shown in the pictures). The white quilt is a year round layer that in the winter clocks in at layer two of sometimes five. Anyway I have been giving the idea a twirl when I thought, why don't I put it on the bed this weekend and see how I feel. look, Tillie, I'm thinking like you!!!

I have a little one asleep next to me, and I think I'll go to bed soon

Thinking of you all.

Good Evening Everyone

Hi Tatoulia
HaHa :)
You plugged it in!

Hope you were able to get in a walk and get some kitty litter too.

Good you took along a hat.
I burn terribly too in the sun even with lots of sun screen.


Internet was terrible all morning.
Afternoon it still was no better.

Another cold day of intermittent rain.
Twinkles insisted he wanted to go outside so I let him out.
Then he sat on the back porch and cried until I let him back in.

Joan! My Allbirds are like little hammocks for my feet. I love them so much. I am thrilled for your breakthrough and continued hard work. We are all cheering you on. And I am so comforted to know of your progress.

SubC, this is your home and you can absolutely share the sad farm stuff. It's a completely different world for me and I am so grateful for your friendship. Please breathe, drink water, and know that you will get through the evaluations and other necessary work. How is your desk working out??

Tillie, once again you paint a picture with your words. I can see the clouds barreling in and the hail.

We have had a day, maybe two, without rain. I've been walking a lot and I have been sleeping better. Much better. Today I woke up to the cool sunny air and I was convinced it must be 10 AM, I was so rested. Nope, just 8 AM so imagine my surprise and wonder.

Last night mom called to say the battery was dead in her remote. It took a while to sort out but it was the remote to her tv. So I got the batteries and took them over. Nope, still not working. So I went over to the tv, PLUGGED IT IN and magically the remote worked. God bless my mother.

I have a lot to accomplish today. I am desperate for kitty litter. I also have a work event tonight. I figured that I can walk to it, it's about 1.5 miles each way, which is absolutely lovely. I put a hat in my bag this AM as the sun on me yesterday was a bit much. I am extremely fair-skinned with little to no tolerance for the sunshine. The part in my hair burns.

Good Evening

Hi Subclinical
My feelings about sad farm stuff...
It's life, it's your life.
It matters to me what is happening in your life, both happy and sad.
If you want to talk about it here please do.
When I know about what is happening in your life it helps me to know more what you may need from us and maybe we can be more supportive.

Sorry about your chicken and the rooster too. (((HUG)))

WAY TO GO! clearing that shelf!!!
That's good that the kids parents will get the kid help.

Hi Joan
Great!
Hope everything comes together for you with nothing but positive results.

Hi Tatoulia

Hi CriticalMass

Hi Tat. I am thinking of breaking out some new tree runners for the summer, now that summer weather is arriving. The tree shoes, made from eucalyptus, are designed to be cool in hot weather. I have noticed that they are cooler than the wool shoes.

Good news on my end, the culmination of a lot of work: I was facing a manic episode, but the cause of my bipolar disorder was finally uprooted. Need time to adjust. A most welcome shift, a huge shift.

The OCD and hoarding are also affected in some ways. I will know more as I stabilize my newly freed system.

The weather is weird. It barely feels like spring here.

No stalls, no evaluations.

The meeting at school went ok though - the parents are going to get the kid help.

Cleaned off one shelf in my classroom and threw some things in the trash can. Others in the recycling as well.

Something ate one of my chickens (a favorite with a name) and my least favorite rooster today. Hopefully it won't come back tomorrow. I'm going to leave the barn closed up except on the goat end. It got them in the yard.

Does it bother anyone when I post sad farm stuff? Because I can not if you prefer.

Good Morning Everyone

Hi CriticalMass
Hope you are safe and not where all that severe weather is occurring.

Hi subclinical
Good luck and best wishes for all you have to do this week.
Doing all the absolute have-tos and not pushing yourself to do more.

Relieved that you are keeping a watchful eye on your blood.
Last time you went untreated for way too long.


Hi Tatoulia
Yes, mall walking when the weather is bad is what a lot of people do.
Just make sure to only walk, maybe window shop but don't go into any stores. ;)

What great motivation! $100.00 for getting healthy & fit.


It's like January weather here.
Trying to get the house temperature up to 60 degrees this morning.
Very dark, windy and wet out there
Washed a load of my clothing last evening and have them drying on hangers & the clothes rack.
Plan is to just putter around inside today.

Hi,

Tillie, I am sad about your roof.

CM, Haag in there.

And Tatoulia, your walking is impressive!

I have cut my activities down to the bones.

Not swimming or doing yoga, not keeping up with stalls. Hip pain is almost gone.

Telling myself I will just get through this week and then I will pick back up again. 4 more days of school. I started my evaluations.

I caught up a little on dishes and laundry yesterday. My doctor let my iron prescription run out at the beginning of April and I am concerned about becoming anemic again. She says I don't need it, but if it starts to get bad, I am going in for bloodwork again. I am not convinced that it was an acute condition and not a chronic one.

My plans for today are to do my chores, work on grooming my rabbit, try to spend an hour on the stalls/ditch so they at least stop getting worse, shower, unload and reload the kiln, teach, meeting at work I am dreading, grocery store, plans for Wednesday, and chores again.

If I find myself with more time I will try to do a couple of evaluations. I have 90 to do by June 5.

We never did get the threatened storms here today. I went to see mom a while ago. Her replacement remotes for her nose wave radio came in and I took them to get. Then I ran to the store to get some seltzer, nectar of the gods.

I'm glad to know that if I can't walk in the humidity, I can skeddadle over to the mall to walk. This has never occurred to me before but, in my defense, I wasn't actively walking other than for transportation. Now I'm doing it for weight loss. Plus I want to earn the $100 a quarter that the ins co gives us if we meet certain milestones.

I just took a nice cool shower.

I worked some, but not a lot, on my closet today.

Work is a little tense. There's a lot going on.

Tillie I buy the lighter stuff. I don't like the smell but I buy it. I did try a different litter a few weeks ago and it was noticeably heavier to carry!!

CM congratulations on the load of laundry! Great start and great feeling! You are a wonderful comfort to your friend.

SubC checking in!

Joan I wore my tree skippers today and they were great! I wore the white ones.

Good Evening Everyone

Hi CriticalMass
I am very glad you went back home when you saw the streets were flooding.

WAY TO GO! getting a load of laundry done!
Warm weather should come back someday and you can wear shorts again.


Hi Tatoulia
WTG! for laundry, walking and taking the stairs too!
I've been wearing jeans and warmer tops since it has turned so cold.
Thought my jeans were done & put away until next Autumn.

Last tetanus shot I had I had a terrible adverse reaction to.
But there is another version made from something else that I may be able to tolerate.


Tomorrow's weather forecast is for rain and temps down in the 40s.


Now that there are only two cats, two litter boxes here and the litter and food expenses are lower I think I'll buy that more expensive light weight cat litter because the other cheaper stuff is heavy and I used to have to buy the largest size to fill all 4 litter boxes.

Scooter has lost his pudginess since I am feeding him some more expensive diet cat food.
He also no longer tries to eat ALL the food all the time so he no longer "scarf & barfs" from eating too much.

I did get one load of laundry done. Mostly light colors, summery tops and shorts. Today we're in a rainstorm and cool air pattern and I'm wearing jeans and a hoodie and even taking my parka. It was 50 last time I looked, a wet chilly 50.

Tried to make it to hospital to see friend but came back, too many places with street flooding and though I tried to avoid, got water up on the alternator belt - I called Kenny the mechanic when the check battery light went on.

It'll probably be Wednesday or so when my friend transfers to whichever facility it works out for her to go to. Talked to her by phone since I didn't make it to visit.

Looks like there have already been tornadoes in Oklahoma.

We hit 80Ftoday! Not my thing. It's humid too. After my conference call I went on a quick, 1/2 walk. I went into Copley Place and walked the stairs. I still have to pop out to get cat litter.

We are expecting thunderstorms today.

I need to get, at a minimum, another 1/2 hour walk in.

I am worried you'll get tetanus or other terrible thing from the hoard

I need the (your) roof repaired ASAP.

I would love to see farm animals in vehicles!!!!

It hit 79F here today!

Tillie I didn't get myself a lobster roll or better yet, Shrimp po boy because of the expense. I'd rather get that when I am craving it rather than just because I'm treating mom.

I haven't walked today because I have a conference call at 2. But I did my towels and I did a load of jeans. I own four pair right now, and they were all dirty. Largely because of all the rain we've been having.

I am hungry right now but no time to cook. Maybe an English muffin will hold me through conf call.

Good Morning Everybody

Hi Tatoulia
How wonderful that she did the car inspection!
Saved you from all those "what-if" worries.
Way out here where I live nobody cares about our vehicles, so no inspections or smog checks are ever required.
Plus many people are just driving old battered up farm vehicles.
Not uncommon to see farm animals in vehicles.

You take such good care of your Mom.
Doing so many little things that make her happy. (((hug)))


The roof has not been repaired yet and all the rain, snow and lots more rain caused the ceiling to drip.
Steven happened to notice that I was not happy to see him back so soon and he stayed far away from me.
Which was nice.


This morning is clear with a few high clouds but very cold.
It looks like a Winter sky, prone to snow at any time.
So I will not be doing any laundry.


Steven's carport hoard has spread out down the driveway.
Takes up half the driveway and all along the sides.
Can't hardly get out of the car and it's terrible trying to bring in groceries while maneuvering past all the assorted stuff heaped up there.
And some of that stuff rips and tears at my flesh and clothing.
The wasps are making nests in that stuff and attacking too.

That is the project I am working on getting him to clean up and it is very slow going.

A giant ball of stress was just taken off of me. I hate, hate, hate having my car inspected. I get nervous in a million different ways. I know the car will be approved, it's going to the station, the anxiety of there's a line, what if I have to back up and other stuff. I ran into the woman who drives my car and I asked her about her work schedule this week and asked if if she could take my car. And she just texted me a picture of the new inspection sticker. That act is worth a million dollars to me. I am so excited that she did this.

Now I have to fight to give her the money because yesterday she was full of excuses why she couldn't take the money. It's cash only so I know she paid for it out of her own pocket.

I'll track her down tonight.

Words cannot describe what a loving act this is.

Tillie!!! What is going on with the roof/ceiling? I'm worried about you.

You are already dealing with the stress of having Steven back home. Are you okay??

I'm home today. Definitely more humid today. I'm on second load of laundry.

I walked all over the city yesterday/over 7 miles. I still haven't done mom's groceries but she loved her chowder and lobster roll. I sat with her while she ate it. Then I cleaned her kitty's box and took the garbage out. I'll try to do her groceries later on today. I definitely need to walk today. My legs are so tingly and happy from walking!

I'll write more later. Dear Tillie, check in when you can.

The ceiling in my room is dripping on me. :(

Good Afternoon Everyone

Hi CriticalMass
YEA! CAKE!!!
Glad the severe weather has been bypassing you.

With that couple helping box up your friend's home it should go fast & easy.
Cory Chalmers (our host here) was a firefighter/paramedic and he saw how people needed help with hoarding/hazmat clean up and started his Steri-Clean business.

Good luck & best wishes getting your plans for bunny fundraiser carnival all typed up.

Thank you for telling me your feelings on having a mobile security blanket.
Craft items, books, etc. are logical items for Justin Case you get stranded somewhere.
Wish I understood Steven's logic for the items he chooses to take.


Hi Tatoulia
I like the black & white I've seen in your home and think the black & white hamper will fit right in.

YEA! that you brought along a hat. ;D

YUM! for lobster roll. ;p
You have made a lot of major changes in a relatively short amount of time, takes a while to relax into all the newness and reassurance helps to know you did the right things. (((hug)))


Well DARN!!!
He came back.
Got all the way to Reno when the weather app on his phone texted him that chains/cables or snow tires and 4 wheel drive were mandatory over Donner Pass.
That is the part of the mountain range where the Donner Party were snowed in and allegedly resorted to cannibalism to survive.
Then it started raining hard here, then it started snowing here, then it rained even harder here washing away all the snow.

Might snow some more here.
Pretty disappointed that my peaceful easy day alone was taken away from me.
Now I just have a hoarded up car that needs a gas fill up and interior windows washed due to all the cigarette smoking that he did in there.

I too would have panicked, SubC. What a jolt.

I walked downtown and back this AM. At home goods they did not have what I wanted but they did have a very nice, black and white buffalo plaid cloth hamper and it was great on sale for $7. It looks good. I have a small black and white check fabric on my chair seats and I use buffalo plaid dish towels so why not in the bedroom? So far I like it very much. I'll post a picture, Tillie.

I got soaked in my walk. It rained the whole time. I didn't wear the coat with the hood. I had a hat in my bag, luckily, that I was able to wear.

I still have to do mom's groceries today. I told her I'd get her a lobster roll for dinner.

Everyone take good care of yourselves. I know there's a lot going on. We can do this.

Tillie thank you. It's terrible how much I need constant praise.

Misc

Today is sunny here. The severe weather predicted went more to rain at least in our area - and even that last night tracked more north. Flooding has been a concern in many areas.

I went to Mass last night; it was our pastor's 10th ordination anniversary and they had a light dinner and CAKE (yum!). I saw one lady from quilt guild, who's in her 80s, and she said she has been the only one there these last several weeks while I've been away! There are a couple others whose health isn't great, but I feel bad for the one who has been carrying the entire load, and I hope soon I can get back to going, even if I can only stay part of a session.

I think clearing my friend's place will go fine and we should be able to make the deadline. This mutual friend couple has done a lot of this. They helped me in 2011 in the final push at my parents' house after the foreclosure. The girlfriend is good at organizing and sensitive to the emotional nuances of people's attachments to their stuff, yet able to do tough love - without forgetting the love part. Her husband is a firefighter and not easily grossed out having seen inside many homes in his career. They always stock up on any sort of supply we'd need like trash bags, allergy masks, etc. so we can hit the ground running.

Last few days have seen so many passings of well known good folk, two or four legged. Doris Day, Tim Conway, Herman Wouk, Grumpy Cat... and locally one TV station's 14 year old weather dog, a corgi.

I'm going to get going on typing plans for the rabbit fundraiser carnival games for kids. Nothing like last minute when I've been aware of this for months. It always seems like there is going to be plenty of time to do these things in a dedicated, orderly fashion, no stress, enjoying the process, brain firing on all cylinders. Oh well. I just need enough to present and estimate volunteers needed to help. Finalizing my procedures can still be ongoing throughout the summer.

Tillie, once again I can sort of relate to Steven when he goes on a trip and wants to take security blankdt stuff along. I can reason myself into not taking wild and crazy amounts, but I do have a tote bag most places, occasionally two. And alternate clothes for changing weather conditions live in my van. Tote bags contain art supplies, puzzle books, prayer books, maybe a library book, and here lately, some of my Barbies and bits of fabric and patterns. I think brains like mine have difficulty with "out of sight out of mind" and fears of being too detached from the things that "spark joy." Plus that "What if I get stuck somewhere?" uncertainty. It all sets up unease and anxiety, so I just take a representative sampling of the stuff along.

Tatoulia, I saw your earlier post about ride sharing and Uber. I realize my Great Plains suburban sprawl, car dependent perspective is different. But people in my city do use these ride srrvices, downtown buildings are being converted into apartments, etc. It's scary to me due to past creepy experiences and my agoraphobia, so I'm just thankful I have my nice van now. My ex boyfriend is all about the urban car free life - so glad he is my EX, we are way too different. If that works for others, fine, just don't anyone try to push me into it!

Today I hope I can get the bunny club stuff/meeting done and pop in on my friend awhile.

Good Morning

Hi Tatoulia
Maybe you could find the hamper you want in the baby/nursery furnishing department?
Otherwise, I think the fad/fashion now is for brown wicker with a bag lining from Ikea for everybody.
My "hamper" is a shopping hand basket that I found sitting out in the desert.
Steven's hamper is the floor, his bed and draped all over his room.


I can relate to fabrics needing to be exactly the right weight.
Cotton knits are too uncomfortably heavy and warm.

We are all so very happy that you are now where you are.
Living in a clean beautifully decorated home. Taking very good care of your health. Enjoying dressing in ways that please yourself and your new weight.
This "new" you is the person you have always been, now the outward look matches the real you.
(((HUG)))


Hi Subclinical
Sorry the fire alarm alarmed you.
Probably was just a bug.
Sometimes a wisp of dust or spider silk will set them off too.

None of my family or friends ever believed that I graduated since I would not dress in cap & gown and walk up on the stage to receive my diploma.
Even though I had my diploma in my hand and a 4.0 GPA.
The high anxiety of being so visible and vulnerable in public would have been too much for me.
So my parents never gave me a cake or a present or even said congratulations like they did for my siblings and consider me to be a drop out failure.

I keep the car clean.
Only have the usual tire jack in the trunk and I keep a jacket, gloves and windbreaker in a bag in the trunk and a long handled squeegee and an ice scraper in there too.
When Steven returns the car to me he fights me tooth and nail to try to keep the car hoarded but I toss everything out.
With the car empty of all nonessentials I have room to put in groceries or passengers and have room for cat carriers.

He always keeps the truck stuffed so full that he has no room for passengers or cat carriers.
He only moves about 1/3 of the stuff out of the back to make room for a dump run or his constant shopping purchases.
He has a terminal issue of Justin Case preparedness.
But the items he stuffs into the car are not the kinds of things a person would need for Justin Case on a day road trip.

Whenever I have to travel to Reno or Carson City I pack a tote bag with water, Kleenex, crackers, ibuprofen and a snack.

It has been raining off & on since last night.
Might rain all week too.
Fingers crossed that this is the end of the never ending drought.

He graduated, he just chose not to participate in the ceremony. So apparently he doesn't count.

It's 2:30. My fire alarm went off. Just for a few seconds. I checked the whole house and everything seems fine. Dh says there was probably a bug in the alarm, but now i am full of adrenaline and I can't go back to sleep.

Tillie, does he dehoard the car when he gets home? At least it limits what he can bring back.

Tatoulia, your descriptions of your home always make me smile. I am so glad for you.

It hasn't occurred to me that Steven would need to put a lot of junk in your car. If your vehicle is already hoarded, naturally I understand. But getting it ready for a day trip wouldn't have occurred to me

Antibiotics. Now I get it! Makes perfect sense. I am sad about the child who didn't graduate, SubC

I just took dinner to BF then I saw mom, then I walked around some more. It is beautiful out. So lovely.


Tillie I put the check for the cleaners on a bag of stuff for them. Today I got a picture texted to me if one of the women in one of the dresses. And that was a dress, casual, that I'd stuck in st the very last moment to fill out the bag.

I am so happy with my wardrobe right now. As I am working on my bedroom closet, I can see my wardrobe at a glance and I love it. So bright and cheerful. I have the shoes and sneakers I need, I for once have some casual clothes, and I'm just happy all around. I worse my white & aqua summer watch today with a white an aqua gauze blouse and then my white Allbirds skipper or skimmers or whatever they are called. I was in a light pair of jeans and I felt fantastic. Or and a while French terry pullover sweatshirt. I was very pleased. Very pleased to be taking such good care of myself. So happy to have a clean house. My house is cleaned every two weeks. I know you know that but this is absolutely amazing to me. We got me here!!

So more closet work to be done. I assessed my summer pjs today and I need two pair. I like woven cotton like men's shirts material. I have several good pair for now and the fall but I'll need sheerer material. I have two pair of pajama shorts which are nice. So I think that's what I'll need for summer. I've gotten rid of all the too big ones. And the ones in fabrics that I find just too warm to wear. The cotton knits are adorable but I am just too personally warm at this stage in my life.

I have used my old kitchen trashcan as a hamper in my bedroom for about a year now. It is no longer working for me. I need something a little bigger and that's a true hamper. Something along the lines of the wicker ones with lids we had as kids. The wicker was painted and the lid was the same color. They were rectangular and the lid would either be a pearlized plastic OR a vinyl puffy top. I walked to a TJMaxx today and they had a plastic version that was okay but I want white. I may get up early and walk downtown tmr AM and see what's there. I don't like the brown wicker ones with a muslin lining that I see everywhere. I want something neat and compact. It will work better for me. I've given this one a good go, I've been thrilled to have a hamper and I'll keep my eyes pealed for what I want.

Hello

Hi Subclinical
How did the puttering go?
Figured ABX was med for some creature.
WAY TO GO! not yardsaleing!
Happy YOU knew there were 22 graduates even if nobody else recognized the missing one.

Hi Tatoulia
Maybe fortune will smile upon you and they won't fill your work area with people.


Steven has spent all afternoon filling my car up with one of his mobile hoards.
He has it stuffed full for a one day trip, no over night.
Pretty pathetic that he can't ever go anywhere without his security hoard with him.

Been cloudy & cool all day but no rain, might rain later tonight.
I made a plan for tomorrow when I have the house all to myself...
I will do nothing.
Just enjoy the peace and freedom.

Lol!

Antibiotics. for the goat.

I sometimes forget I have an offset frame of reference.

Hi SubC. Great work not buying anything. Except for abx. Which begs the question, what is abx??!!?? Sorry that I don't know know.


8:01 abs some sunlight remains. Took a long nap today and I'm a better person for it. Will be back soo.

Thanks guys.

I bought more abx and nothing else. I did not stop at a single yard sale.

I did not cry at graduation (I mostly missed my kid who didn't walk.) Every time one of the speakers would say "21 graduates" my brain would say "22".

All I am going to try to do the rest of the day is create a little more order in my house. I'll just start at the front door and see how far I get puttering.

Tillie I am sad about Grumpy cat. She had such a way with words. I had a temp working with me yesterday and I had her bring her laptop to sit next to me so if she had any questions on the project, I'd be right there. Is mentioned in the AM that Grumpy Cat has died and then the temp felt sad. In the afternoon, for reasons unknown to me, I brought it up again and the temp felt sad again.

Let me tell you, I can concentrate a lot better having a quiet temp working next to me. We don't have many people in the office on fridays as it is, then having a temp next to me meant that no one stopped by to chat. A pretty good day. The department where I sit is completely empty on fridays but I can tell that they are talking about moving some people down to my floor. So that may change. I'll enjoy it for now! (I don't sit in my department because it's too loud. I sit in a fairly quiet department. Even the temp was saying how nice it was down by where I sit.)

Good Morning To Every Single One Of You

Hi Subclinical
Yes, what CriticalMass and Tatoulia said to you.
(((HUG)))

Hi CriticalMass
YEA! for froggy water!
Badger is back in his hidey hole, for now.

Hi Tatoulia
YEA! for your sunshiny day!
So proud that you now feel comfortable having cleaning fairies in when you are away!!!

Saw on the computer news page that Grumpy Cat has passed away.
I'm between possible rain storms today but it is still bitterly cold.
Haven't made any plans for today.
Steven is taking my car away from me tomorrow to travel to the S.F. area for another one of his stupid class reunions.

CM your colorful post crossed with my boring black and white one. YOU ARE AMAZING

Good morning everyone. I see and feel your struggles.

Tillie I have been a terrible insomniac all of my life. And I am a champion worrier. I work on it, and I'm lucky that right now I'm in a pattern where, most of the time, I can set my worries to one side. Of course, two weeks ago I was so rattled by that evening with the woman I'm mentoring and the family in trouble, that I had to take a mental health day. I do know the despair of not sleeping and I hope that you can find a way to set the worries to one side. It can be so difficult.

CM, I think you will do a good job in helping to clean out your friend's apt. It's easier when it's not your stuff. If it proves too much, then you need to stop and leave it to others. Just recognize what you can and cannot do. And remember you are doing this is as a loving act and in an attempt to avoid another month's rent. You may not, ultimately, be able to avoid the extra month's rent. It's an aspiration, not a mandate.

SubC. Sending you strength and love. This is a hard time of year for you. Just rescue yourself right now. You are doing a good job of not rescuing every item you see. You are doing a great job in saving our planet, and you have raised and nurtured my own behaviors. You don't need to be perfect, you just need to inspire and enlist others to think about waste and landfill. You can do it! We are standing by your side.

Bright sunny day!!! I was treated to the cleaning fairies yesterday-so I wasn't even here. I had BF give them keys and set/unset alarm. I left out clean sheets so I came home to a fresh bed.

I need to walk today, run some errands, then work on bedroom closet. Great day in front of me, and no badger in sight!!

Aw, Subclinical, I just want to reach through the interwebs and give you a hug. The overwhelm must be pretty strong - all the people, stuff, bustling, time deadlines... too many stimuli making your head spin, amirite?

Sort of reminds me of my moves in the past decade. Those were full of stuff, people, and deadlines. And then all the emotions triggered at every turn.

And it's so hard to get away to have a mini meltdown and release tension, one just has to keep going... stay hydrated and keep blood sugar steady if possible, that may help. Glad you have a teacher buddy who understands you.

I don't want to bombard you with advice when you're already on overload, but sending you this - just visualize it as needed.

You're doing your best - this stuff IS hard - but soon you wìll be done.

The emotions and stress will also dissipate.

Picture yourself relaxing when it's all over.

And finally...

******* ((((HUG)))) *******

Tillie, right now I want to kick my butt.

Do you know "hymn of breaking strain" by Kipling?

It's about how we are not made to do everything but take the blame for it anyway.

I fail them, I miss things, I miss openings, I don't always know the thing to do, and sometimes I am not enough. Sometimes the opening was never there. And when I fail them, telling myself I did everything I could do just makes me angry at my own incompetence.

Dh says my superpower is stubbornness.

There is a broken bottle of abx on the floor of my basement because I dropped it. And I haven't cleaned it up. Because most weeks it would just be broken glass and liquid, but this week it's symbolic and I can't face it. If I were in a novel, I would have written it in 24 hours earlier, but the timing wasn't bad. (If i were in a novel I would have tried to clean it up and sliced myself badly)

My coworkers are all cleaning out their rooms, and the trash cans are all overflowing, and it's triggering me. And the person who helps me talk work things through the most is the worst offender and right now I really shouldn't even go in her room. I took three things out if her trash yesterday morning - right in front of her. She told me "those (dated games) haven't been used for years." And I said "I want the ziploc bags."(the kids keep their projects in them from week to week to keep them from drying out - she knows this. Many of them get worn out each year, I do throw those in the trash.) When I left work yesterday there were 4 ziploc bags in my folder. She actually dumped them out for me so I could have the bags and not face the contents. She knows about the hoarding.

I brought home an index card because a kid printed his name on it.

I have to go with my boss to a meeting on Tuesday and talk to someone's parents. I am trying to decide if I should warn my boss that I am probably going to cry. The last meeting we had like this, I cried. So perhaps the warning is unnecessary. She says I have to be there.

Today I have to drive through a cool neighborhood that is having their annual neighborhood yard sale on my ways to and from graduation. I will be the woman driving her car while chanting "no." Out loud.

Dh cleaned the kitchen last night.

Froggie got his water topped off tonight. So we can call off the badger.

Good Evening Everyone

Hi CriticalMass

BADGER< BADGER< BADGER!!!
Water that frog!!!

Good luck for your friend's applications all getting in.
So happy she is almost ready to be released and want everything to go smoothly for this transition.


Hi Subclinical
That negative self talk is bullying and I never tolerate bullying.
When that nasty talk starts up just remember if I were there I would kick your butt for being mean to Subclinical.
(((HUG)))

Wishing you a good night's sleep and a bitter sweet graduation ceremony tomorrow.


Left home early this morning.
Found a dear friend I hadn't seen in a long time and had a nice chat.
Last night I fell asleep alright but woke up about 2:30am and had a hard time getting back to sleep.
I spend my waking hours trying not to think about things that I have no control over but when I sleep my brain starts worrying and fretting.
Worrying and fretting over things we have no control over does absolutely no good.
That's when we have to turn it over to a higher power and just keep doing the best we can with what we can control.

Hi,
Reading.
Struggling
Prioritizing my kids right now but a lot going on - fighting negative self talk and despair.
Loving other people's kids is hard. (As in painful, not as in difficult.)

Dh made me dinner.

Formal graduation tomorrow.

Scooter! You sweater thief! LOL!

It's funny when they steal, though, like when our kitty was carrying my Barbie by the hair. As long as the dog doesn't take something because then you can kiss whatever it was goodbye.

Thank you Badger for the frog water reminder - got home late and it didn't get done. Alarm reminder in my phone for tonight.

At hospital, friend still doing dialysis. I'm downstairs by the chapel so I'll attend the noon Mass then grab lunch, and friend should be back in her room. There's confusion over whether her Medicaid app went in or not. She thought it had from MICU, but she was still coming off sedation and may have been thinking of a different set of paperwork. So I will be praying about it all, because the clock is ticking towards discharge time!

Had a good day today.
Got my ribs all cooked and cleaned the kitchen.
It is cold, dark and rainy here.
There is snow in the foothills and mountains.
Last week it got into the 80s, now it might snow here too.
This is why I can't put my coat, comforter or space heaters away and have to keep them right at hand.
Just wish the cats understood that I can't "fix" the weather for them.
Took my sweater off for a few minutes and Scooter stole it and put it on the couch with his flannel blanket and kitty quilt and bundled himself up in it all.

Hi CriticalMass

That's very good news about your friend.
She is making a very good compromise, since she can no longer live independently she wants to live closer to her daughter and granddaughter.

The one thing that helps me conquer my highway phobia has been when Steven has been in the hospital 80 miles from here and I need to go because I am his medical power of attorney.
There have been times when it has been necessary for me to authorize in person important medical treatments.
Other than that I refuse to drive the highway no matter what shops I could be shopping in if I did go.

Your needy bunny rescue is such a worthy cause.
Wishing you all the best in getting all the help you need.

Good luck clearing out your friend's house.
That will be hard work.
Where are you putting all the keepers?
Will they be going to the daughter's home?

BADGER, BADGER, BADGER
Water that frog!!!

So happy to hear from you today.
Take care and carry on (((HUG)))

Hi - quick pop in while I'm at the library using the fast computers to work on the bunny club newsletter. I feel bad sometimes that I can't give the bunny club more - I have a TON of ideas but am so scattered, only maybe 10% right now see fruition.

Just like with any nonprofit, especially new ones, we have way more to do and way more needs for capital and personnel than we have capital and personnel!

My friend is continuing to make progress. The case worker is now initiating finding her a place where she can have outpatient dialysis while she lives in either a rehab, a "swing bed" which is an insurance term rather than something you'd find in an amusement park, or a skilled nursing place.

My friend has decided to look for one in Salina where her daughter and granddaughters are. That would be a highway drive away from here, but I think it's smart of her to go near family. I'll miss being able to see her in person! I wish I could have a magic cure for my highway phobia - well, I've wished that for a long time. I looked up some about overcoming that sort of phobia online, and I'm going to pray about it, for wisdom and easing of fear of at least considering the idea. BABY STEPS.

I am also going to team up with the couple who are mutual friends; we are going to do the cleanout of her apartment here so that she doesn't have to pay another month's rent. So I may be pretty tired to do my own stuff at times. I haven't gotten round to deciding about laundromat vs. home.

I may just do the laundry at home after all. There will be time perhaps if my friend leaves for Salina and I won't be doing the hospital visits. Depending upon when the apartment cleanout starts I may be able to slip the laundry in. You see, I only do laundry in our machines when my roommate isn't home, due to my OCD hangups about trying to go back and forth through the house carrying clean clothes with the big dog in the way, and my need to clean the machines really thoroughly before starting - and it's just less distracting overall. **BADGER - I SEE YOU ROLLING YOUR EYES OVER THERE - JUST CUT IT OUT!**

Hope everyone's kitties are healthy and SubC's menagerie - I'm so sorry about the little goat. Oops, just remembered I need to check the water level in my frog's terrarium! I will do it tonight - sic the badger on me if I don't report in that I've done it!

So this has been a crazy whizzing by spring with my friend's situation - but with the potential for a happier ending, I'll take it!

Good Morning Everybody

Woke up this morning and it was still dark so I tried to get back to sleep but couldn't.
Finally got up and looked at the clock, 7:30!
It was dark because it's raining.
YEA!!!! for rain!!!!
Had a great night's sleep and am ready to do stuff.
Will not be doing laundry or watering in the yard today.
Will get back to cooking and still have plenty of time to play too. :)