On this wonderful day, I am thankful for each one of you. Happy Thanksgiving! Hugs to all!

Dianne and Dave (and anyone I might have missed)

Thank you sooo much for your words of encouragement. I ended up helping my neighbor host her Thanksgiving and my daughter is going to stop by with her boyfriend. And... best part, she didn't have table cloths and decorations etc. so I was able to help her with that. The only food I had to do was the appetizers. I hadn't bought a turkey since my daughter and I don't eat meat, so no food waste.

I evicted my daughter's roommate. Unfortunately, I can't get my name off the lease. My daughter can't qualify. Since I am paying for the roommate's space, I decided to make it into an office where I can bring all the things I want to sell/donate. I get HUGE tax deductions by photographing and logging every item I donate. Saves me about $10,000 a year. I am way behind in filing (yikes... two years) so having space to work efficiently will be great.

Sleeping on the couch has been kind of rough, might look into some kind of cot that folds up or air mattress, but no room for that yet (barely a path between the couch and the stuff I emptied out of my bedroom to rent it out).

Thank you for suffering through my long and whiny post. Just needed to spit it all out and try to release it. You all are GREAT.

Well off to cut veggies for tomorrow! :)
Grateful for your support. Be blessed!!
xoxoxo Darci

visitor postponed till Christmas.went to doctor. cholesterol ok.thyroid numbers good. actually lost 8 lbs.still way overweight for my 4'11" height.blood pressure way up. now have two meds for that.kidney numbers off so not supposed to take most pain meds. got a cortisone shot for shoulder.
son is getting antsy... colostomy reversal surgery put off by surgeon till after sometime in january. supposedly my son is not unemployed but his employer won't let him work with the colostomy. so he's kind of in limbo.
daughter, her boyfriend, and my grandson came to work on the yard because the insurance company was going to do a drive by before renewing contract. (house still in daughter,s name although I paid off 2nd mortgage and have paid 1st mortgage for 7 yrs. anyway, they did mow back yard which i appreciated but they also spent hours running the electric blower to blow out the gutters, blow leaves off driveway and from around the house (would you believe into the street)... this neighborhood has about twelve trees in every small yard, most of them various kinds of mature oak trees, and now a week later the gutters are overflowing and you can't see the driveway.just like the rest of the neighborhood.bad timing. sorry... rambling... not getting much done. did get a little bit done in "living room" and i threw out a bunch of out of date canned food. next week my great grand daughter will be 4. i should go spend some time with them. they live 2 minutes away. but it's too hard... too complicated and too complicated to explain.

hahahahahah Dave, yep plenty of time on roof. Just finished making a big pot of soup and decided to read posts on here, great idea reminding us how much Tillie has given to this site. She kept me on here regularly, just to have her cheer me on, and to cheer her on. Sure do miss Tillie since she took a break.

Supper with some of Mrs. Dave's family. My guess - 20-25 people.

I stumbled upon this yesterday looking for something else. As I recall, it was quite popular when originally posted and I thought it would be worth a repeat.

Tillie Posted: 27 January 2014 - 12:29 PM
Good morning Everybody :D

Must clean the house today!
No procrastination, no excuses, no whining.

Right now I have been downloading updates, defraging, deleting stuff to see if something malfunctioned with my computer & fix it.

Really enjoyed reading the message board here today! :D

Even when you feel your posts are not worth posting, please post! It is important to put it all out there, let us know how you are really feeling, so we can understand and be better able to help you with suggestions or just a (((hug))).

Wishing you all glitter covered unicorns farting rainbows today. ;)

the second post was basically
Use the Bing search engine,
type in the term HOW TO MEDITATE

See the Jan 27 post below and the following one at 12:19 I don't know how to link to.


Tillie Posted: 27 January 2014 - 12:13 PM
When you get so befuddled you don't know what you want or don't even care about doing anything
because it all seems so futile/hopeless
It is a GREAT time for you to meditate.
Sit quietly, breathe properly, relax, let go,
forget about the world and all the busy-ness there.
In the calm and quiet you will be able to hear a different sound.
This will lead you to your inner thoughts and needs and desires.
It will release you from all the distress of the modern world and allow you to become centered.
When centered, you will be able to calmly and serenely do that which you now can see is the way you should proceed.
(((hugs)))
Tune out, Tune in

SORRY SO LONG!!!!
Well, this is the first time I haven't even come close to reaching a goal of number of boxes to donate. My daughter, who has always been MORE than I could cope with, was diagnosed bi-polar with about 7 other "tendencies". I kept blaming my poor parenting, my hoarding, etc. etc. for her hateful disposition. Anyway, she has moved out and we still have explosions when we see eachother. After one such explosion over her roommate not paying a dime in rent or utils (lease in my name... so I got stuck with an extra $1,000 in expenses in less than two months), I literally felt something pop in my head... my heart was racing and after a few hours of my heart racing, I cried myself to sleep. I woke up with a headache that made my migraines look like nothing more than a sniffle. After three days, chest pain started. Went to hospital... they couldn't find anything and acted like I was crazy. Needless to say, no progress on the Thanksgiving cleanup. And I am too sick to put on Thanksgiving. So all the things I saved in hopes of having a wonderful Thanksgiving with my daughter and her boyfriend will go to waste. :(
I came out of the hospital in worse shape than I went in but am forcing myself to try to clean a teeny spot or teeny box at a time. Very hard as I am very dizzy, blurred vision and still having severe chest pain.

Why I am such a pickle... other than being a hoarder for over 25 years, I recently had to completely empty out three bedrooms in order to rent them out to pay my daughter's rent. She is too explosive and verbally abusive to be at home and I needed to emancipate her as quickly as possible. I am a single mom with MS and she destroyed my last two relationships so I am very alone. NO friends, family, NOT a SOUL or support system less than 1100 miles away. My dogs are my only companionship. I am extremely close with my ex (not her dad) and now that she has moved out, he wants to come back.

Anyway, I had to empty the three bedrooms quickly, so everything got thrown into boxes and piled in the garage, in my ex's "man cave" (he let me stay in his house so my daughter would not have to switch schools, and the living room (which is now my "bedroom"). I got pretty burned out having to do all that packing, moving, painting and repairing on my own. Daughter refused to help because I should just "throw everything away" and it is MY fault that I am having to move so much stuff. True, but she could help... I wouldn't have to be moving things if she wasn't so explosive... not her fault?? How much is bi-polar and how much of it is that she has learned that being explosive is a means to wear down mom and others and get your own way??? With MS, I have bouts where I can barely walk, weak, etc. etc. My daughter totalled a car in September and then had another accident last week. She also got two tickets and $$$$ fines, etc. Her roommate didn't pay rent, so I also got stuck with an extra $1,000 in expenses (lease in my name). So, let's throw in overwhelming legal and fincial troubles in there.... perfect storm.

So, for the last several weeks, overwhelmed was an "understatement". Just brush yourself off and start over, you say. Well, with a bones crusing headache and chest pain, dizziness, blurred vision a little rough.

One thing I can say, though, is that I have done an excellent job keeping all the common areas immaculate and have not had an tenants complain that the front half of the garage (visible when they do laundry) or my area is a problem for them. One guy said that my common areas were more cluttered than he would like, but the areas are immaculate and he complains about everything anyway (house too hot, too cold, doesn't like my brand of pots and pans...). I simply reminded him that his lease is week to week and either party can cancel for any reason and he hasn't said a word since.

So, for a hoarder to be able to clear enough for three extra people in the home, I guess I am not at total rock bottom.

I did have a few slips at the thrift stores (I had gone in for "legitimate" reasons... my last pair of jeans totally ripped, needed lamps for tenants....)

So, here I am... trying to get past feeling overwhelmed :(

Hi Mariana. Welcome back! I'm not sure where Roxie is. We all miss her. If memory serves, she was in the hospital and then once home her brother wanted her to go stay with him and she didn't want to leave her home. We haven't heard from her and she is sorely missed.

Tillie is still around although we only catch glimpses of her now and then. I think she's taking a break. We miss our anchor but recognize that it's a lot of responsibility to take care of so many of us. And that can be a thankless job.

Bear in mind the above is what I tell myself. It's not based in fact. We miss them as I am sure you have been missed! Would love to hear your story and find out what is going on with you!

Hello LR! Have been missing you! Very sorry to hear about the flood. But I am glad to hear from you!

Hi, everybody. I haven't had Internet at home for about a week and a half, but that's resolved for now. I'm so glad to be able to be back in touch with you all here! Missed at least three of the recent chats. (Frown.) I'm looking forward to catching up on what's going on with all of you.

Surprise, surprise . . . I had another flood this week. (It started in the kitchen this time.) Still have a lot of cleanup left to do from that. Might see if anybody is on chat early this evening and see if anybody is up to a little bit of buddy-work cleaning.

Hugs to everybody!

For various reasons (moving, surgery etc.) I have not posted in a long time but I have checked in periodically to see how everyone is doing. Lots of new people here but missing some old familiar names. Does anyone know what has happened to dear Tillie and Roxie?

Good memory Tat, yes freezer room is fine, I have a lar ge light bulb right over where the pipes froze last year in freezer room, no frozen pipes this year. Having the freezer is so great when I am snowed in like this week. Have frozen vegetables, fruit and chicken in there so no worries about food.
I have lots of single socks, if I ever start dusting I will remember to use socks.
Today I got dishes done, cleaned the stove, under burners too, put aluminum foil on stove burners. Moved stuff off deck, shoveled snow off deck and some in driveway, brought in firewood. .Organized some of living room, more needs to be done.

Dave and Diane, my neighbors use old socks for dusting, which was funny to me at the time, since dusting seemed like an impossible task. Now I kind of like the idea!

Diane is the freezer room keeping warm enough?

Thanks Dave, trailer trash, ran through my mind when I put tarp up, what the heck, I is what I is.
Did you know if you put a treasured sock on each windshield wiper, you can pull it off to clear ice off wiper? See all of our loner sox have a purpose!!

Great idea with the windbreak. You are most creative.

ONLY 7 below! I feel like I'm reading about the weather setting for the poem - The Cremation of Sam McGee!

Running water this morning!!!! Hooray. Only 7 below zero last night, already 7 above zero, so today will be warmer. I feel so blessed that I did all the insulation fighting spiders, last year under the trailer. I even put up a white tarp to stop wind from blowing up on deck and to kitchen pipes that froze. My pride out the window, more impt. to stay warm and have water, it can come down easily as soon as it is above freezing, soon I pray.
I enjoyed the chat about empty spaces, I can relate so much. Now that my living room is a disaster area, it gives me permission to visit old emotions, frustrated, hopeless, stuck. The familiar old crap feelings are more comfortable than empty spaces that bring up new feelings,I just have to clean up living room today and embrace new feelings and let old negative feelings go to the graveyard.
Mel enjoy all you share and so proud of you for letting a loving man into your space.

Thanks Tat, appreciate you explaining why driving is difficult, and happy you are safe and took sleeping teen for support.

18 below zero last night and still have running water, several record breaking cold nights in a row, coldest November since 1955 one weatherman said, brrrr
I was supposed to work in a nearby town tomorrow but can not get car out of driveway yet, boss was so gracious when I told her. A friend picked me up for a class today, I walked down the hill since cars are getting stuck coming up this street.
Since I will now be home all day tomorrow I plan to clean living room tomorrow, it has tools, lamps, nails and other fixit stuff all over, oh and lots of clothes, I recently washed, and did not put away. I want living room clean so I can do some craft projects this week while I am snowed in.
loved reading about roommates/boyfriends and the adjustments it take, proud of you both.
Thanks for birthday wishes Tat, incredibly 19 people wished me birthday happiness on Facebook, more than i can ever remember, 4 b day cards, usually get one or none. I think letting walls down, getting rid of things and letting a few people back into my life might be worth the pain. More to be discovered.
Being in this group has been the support that has been missing in my life to change hoarding behavior, and accept that more to be done can be done slowly, I have given up on rushing to finish line. Thanks for being here and working honestly on your stuff.

Diane, wow you have a lot to deal with! Glad you made soup and also happy to hear you had birthday cards waiting for you! I kept up with dishes and dishwasher and did a bunch of laundry. Was tired from trip but luckily I work from home most Mondays so it was an easier transition than going into the office. We had rain all day and I was grateful that I had changed my original plan, which was to take today off and drive to VT. So glad we had clear roads yesterday. This was my first time driving to VT in many years, I think five, because I had a panic attack driving home on the last trip and thought I would die. (Immediately went to see dr and was dx'd with thyroid problems and had thyroid removed).

Changing the day from Monday to Sunday meant that my boyfriend couldn't go with me (and do the driving ) so we had one of the neighborhood kids ride up and back with me. Although he didn't do any driving, I could rely on him to talk to me and keep me calm. I only came close to panicking a couple of times. He mainly slept in the car--he'd been out til 4:00 AM--ah to be young.

Mel, your sense of humor over the cat "revenge vomit " will continue to help you through this.

also...

I keep stepping on the cats! I feel so bad about it. I'm used to both stepping on stuff and not really looking where I'm walking. Kitties revenge though, I also stepped in kitty puke.

Tatoulia,

When my boyfriend is cleaning, I feel like... this is my mess, I made it, I need to clean it. And I feel like a jerk that in order for him to be comfortable here, he has to spend a bunch of time cleaning. I guess it's like... I couldn't manage to get it done so now you have to do it. Definitely lazy failure feelings. My therapist said I need to learn to not take things so personally when it comes to him cleaning - it's not a judgement on me. Easier said than done of course!

I too haven't had roommates in the past. In college I had a couple short-term roommates (never longer than a semester), but once I was able to be solo, that was the path I chose. I've lived alone for the past 14 years and it's definitely an adjustment to share living space with someone else. Fortunately he's consistently kind and supportive of me.


Hope everyone is having a good Monday!

Mel, you've certainly faced a lot of challenges this weekend. I understand the feeling that the clean living room doesn't make you feel better. It can dredge up a host of emotions that you wouldn't expect. For me, I felt like a lazy failure who wasted time, money, space and energy on junk. Just work through it. You're not expected to feel happy re having living room clean. Maybe you can shift your focus in a different direction? Good to have someone carry the heavy stuff so you don't get hurt?

I have lived alone my entire adult life. Didn't even have a roommate during college and grad school. Would find it very difficult to get any sort of roommate. Expect the adjustment period. You'll get there.

Ps maybe there's something wrong with me but I thought your answer re mouse trap was clever!

Hi everyone,

Busy weekend! Hope everyone is doing well today.

Diane, happy happy birthday! Very glad you had your nice shower. Is there anything else you can do to protect your pipes? I agree it was a good plan to do dishes and laundry just in case. Please keep taking care of yourself.

Tatoulia, congrats on making the rug delivery! Hooray! One less thing to worry about!

Dianne, so sorry that you had a day of putting out fires. Even small fires are frustrating but that was all a lot of stuff to deal with in a short period of time. I hope this week is much better and easier. Computers unfortunately often seem to have that issue of fix one problem and something else comes up. Best of luck at the vet tomorrow!

Dave, did you go ahead and get the haircut?

Lots has been going on here. My boyfriend has been living here full time and it's a bit of an adjustment. He has been incredibly kind and supportive. We got cable installed (for the first time!) and the installation went fast and easy, which was wonderful. Before he came out we spent some time cleaning the living room to prepare (they ask for 3 ft of space around the place that the install is going to happen), and after the install was complete he rearranged the area around the tv and then went on a cleaning spree. I barely recognize my living room. There is a coffee table i planned on getting rid of and we totally cleared it off and all around where it had been. My boyfriend suggested we me it into the second bedroom. I was hesitant, but then he told me he'd already been in there, which totally freaked me out. Then he nonchalantly carried the coffee table in there and left it there. I felt freaked out and I needed a lot of reassurance but he promised it was no big deal. The only other awkward moment was when he found a mouse trap and asked what it was. He looked horrified and asked if I had a mice. I said "sometimes in the fall." I know, I should have told him the truth, but I felt like he had already been so kind and supportive I just couldn't face telling him.

We also made a trip to the electronics recycling Saturday morning. I got rid of a huge old monitor (that i injured myself trying to move out of the second bedroom on my own because I didn't want my boyfriend to see - not a major injury but I tripped on the stuff in there and dropped the monitor and bruised my hand and my leg), an old cd player, an old stereo system, a non-working vhs player (and threw away ALL of my vhs tapes), and an old non-working digital converter box. It felt like a lot of stuff but it didn't look like much in my boyfriend's car. But it's that much more stuff out of the house.

I wish i was the kind of person who found cleaning therapeutic and who felt better when the house was clean. It's just not me. I can see that it looks nicer, cleaner, etc - but it doesn't "do" anything for me.

"Early this morning, we set a record for cold temperatures! Roberts Field reporting a temp of -19 degrees which broke the record for this day. Yesterday, -15 broke a record as well!! BRR!!" Local weather report
Well, no wonder it was so difficult to stay warm!!
Finally got it warm enough in here to take a shower, and hot water was so great. I got very little accomplished today. Enjoyed your birthday wishes, thanks. Dave you are so right, I do have to figure out something to continue living independently. I went to mailbox today, road was like a sheet of ice, steep driveway. Shoveled enough snow so could get to the road. 3 birthday cards, made the walk worth it. It is already -2 degrees so another cold night, will leave water running again tonight. Daily they say it will be above 0 tonight, then temp dips to minus teens. I am physically exhausted.
Dave I worked sorting in the bedroom today, and thought of you when I found 100's of sox, forgot I stashed a bunch to sort "later". I have too dang much stuff. I was motivated to donate today, then got caught up in sorting, and churning. Maybe tomorrow will be more productive. I did shower, wash hair, do dishes, made soup, brought fire wood in, kept fire going, found gloves and boots.
Tat happy to hear your delivery went well and you are home safe and sound. Meant a lot to me to read the kind things you wrote today, thanks so much. Dianne thanks for the cute greeting.

Just read Dianne's post in What Are You Doing Today. God bless the kittycat.

Happy birthday dear Diane! Oh how I wish I could've taken you for a lobster dinner today--or anything else that you would enjoy.

Happy happy birthday! You are remarkable, industrious, loving, thoughtful, friend to dogs, friend to hoarders--truly lovely and wonderful! More than once I have felt down and out-of-place and I have come on this site hoping to hear from you--you make me feel less alone in my struggles.

(Home safe, exhausted and hungry--everyone's well wishes and angels and encouragement and everything else were much needed and greatly appreciated).

diane,

It is troubling to read about all of the things you are coping with with your home.

I hope that in the spring you are able to return to considering some options, that your finances may permit some changes, and that you can come up with something that still gives you a snug living environment but requires less labor on your part to protect it from the weather around you. I think this may allow you to continue with the independent living you treasure longer than you might otherwise be able to do.

Please take care of yourself and watch over your hands and feet since you know they are now some level of threat to your health. I know it is extremely (did i mention extremely) difficult to buy gloves and a scarf when you know you have 50 of each (Well maybe just 10 :) ) in a box somewhere, but if you are coping with 5 above to 10 below temperatures, you need them badly-give youself permission to buy one useful set to preserve your body parts as long as possible. If nothing else, think of it like oiling a garden tool before you put it away. Your hands are really important tools for you.

Tat,
Best wishes for the trip. I think this qualifies as extreme cleaning (or maybe extreme cleanout).

(^)
:-0 hbtu 0-:

Thanks Dianne and Tat, hoping a safe trip for you Tat.
Well, today is my 66th bday and It is about 0 degrees out now, so gives me permission to not feel bad about being alone on bday. Excuses: car snowed in, steep icy driveway, so no people even if I did have plans.
All I wanted for my birthday is a hot shower so left water running last night and it worked. Last year I just left slow drip, and they froze so left small stream, felt wasteful but I deserve water today, so make it ok.
Sun is out, even though so cold sun brightens my spirit. For my bday present I plan to fill two donation bags, giving is better than getting for this hoarder.
Friend called this am and sang happy bday, and will pick me up for class tomorrow that we go to on Mondays, and will take donations I pack today to thrift store. I told her I planned to fill bags, seem to do what I say, when someone else will know if I don't do it. Hope you all are staying nice and warm today and Tat looking forward to report on trip.

Keep up the good work Diane. I will say a prayer for you and the water!

Getting ready to leave on my excursion. Nervous about doing this much driving in one day. I am getting where I need to be and this will be a very big and much needed relief.

Have a wonderful day everyone! Would love to hear some updates ftom Bitsy and Tillie and Mel and LR and of course Roxie. And if I forgot to mention you, please no offense. You are all important and have helped me both measurably and immeasurably.

Great reading your posts Tat and Dianne. I finally got all snow off roof and wood in. It is already 9 degrees below zero, praying water is still running in the morning. It was sunny today but did not even get to 20 degrees.
Tat I am so happy to hear you found your earmuffs no problems. I am far from that point, and really frustrated with the amount of stuff I still think I need to keep. Got so much out of here last year, surprised I have so much tucked away in every possible storage place in here. Seeing some progress this week would be great, since it is so cold, plan to start filling donation bags again. Guess will need to be in chat room to get some stuff done.
The fear of frozen pipes has made me do dishes daily, even did a load of laundry tonight thinking it might be last of the running water. So happy to read your posts, I appreciate hearing what is going on in your life.

Great to read Diane and Dianne's posts! Diane, imagine my shock when I looked for my gloves and earmuffs and there they were, in a plastic bin in my dining room closet--the one that. "We" (you, me, Tillie, LR, Roxie, Bitsy, etc etc) cleaned out this summer ! Dianne thank you for your enthusiastic post! Need this support!

Keep up the good work everyone. Have rental SUV with rug loaded in. Just took a shower and I'm making spaghetti. Going to cuddle with kitty over a movie as alas, the boyfriend is working tonight.

Thank you all--will try to write tomorrow. Be well. Take good care of yourselves and I appreciate the enthusiasm and support!