Hello everybody

Hi Subclinical :)
OK, you did good.
I had a friend who owned & operated a donut shop.
He contacted all the food kitchens/pantries and homeless shelters, etc. in the area and told them if they came by at closing time they could have all the fresh daily made donuts that were left over.
Only thing was they would have to bring their own boxes/containers for them because his boxes were costly and for paying customer's orders.
Well, they all refused. They insisted that the donuts be boxed up and delivered to them.
My friend was trying to do a good thing but ended up having to dump all the donuts in the dumpster every evening.
When ever I visited the shop I brought my own containers and froze dozens.

Hi Tatoulia :)
Consider it smoked and thoroughly enjoyed.
Isn't it WONDERFUL that since you are no longer caught up in all that unnecessary drama how clearly you can see it now?
So happy you are free!



Well, I did get up and get dressed.
Cleaned up the "scarf & Barf" under my bed.
Went out into the garage...
OK, he did move some stuff.
He moved the tallest fattest and heaviest heap out of my way.
Still a lot of smaller stuff and a whole lot of garbage cluttering up the area.
This is still better than what I had expected to find.

Well we are scarf and barfers here too. I didn't know the cat's hobby had a name!

Tillie you sound happier and for that I am grateful. I'd be even more grateful if you'd smoke a cigarette for me.

SubC before I eat in restaurants I look at the on line menu and decide what to get. It helps me to make reasonable choices before I'm hungry and before I hear what other people are getting. A lot like what you did at the food bank today. I applaud you for not over agonizing on the individually wrapped cakes. You made a good choice.

I've cleaned kitty's litter box area and food area. I wanted to stop by mom's but brother is going by. He'd asked her to pick up his prescriptions (she can barely walk) and we didn't. I was supposed to drive her there, find non-existent parking, get her walker out, have her go in, etc, etc THEN drive mom to his house to drop them off. We did not do that. He insists on using a pharmacy up by us instead of the probably 16 pharmacies he has to pass on the way up here. I always saw it as being so controlling. Used to wear me out. Especially on the days where he had a paper rx and I'd go get him, we'd drop it off, there'd be no parking and he'd be a real #%+^ and would refuse to go in, then after spending a truly hellish and harrowingly my day with him, I'd get to repeat the procedure and still have to drive him home. Just thinking about it makes me mad. What a $&&!?&&?7&. This strengthens my resolve, which, by the way, has not weakened an iota in the last four months. I'm free.

Okay off the subject. So I have my garbage ready, I did two small loads of laundry, my mail is shredded and the recycling is gathered. Pretty good day.

Tatoulia, hooray for too big clothes! And for you for keeping them moving! I hope the dish situation works out.

Tillie, i'm Crossing my fingers for you.

I brought home 4 dozen bagels in 4 cardboard boxes, plus a bag of fresh green beans to cook tonight and a package of garlic naan - which I ate half of with leftover soup for my lunch.

I could have brought home another little cake, but we had donuts this weekend.

A lot of individually wrapped things went into the dumpster, which was very hard at the time, but now, an hour later, I am feeling less stress about the waste and more relief at not needing to unwrap them all.

I did my 5 minute timer tidy. A few more things to leave for school.

Good Monday Morning Everybody :)

Hi CriticalMass :)
A day without any cat vomit to clean up here is a GOOD day.
The proper terminology for this is "scarf & barf".
This is the only hobby any of my cats are interested in doing.
WTG! for getting the kitty sample. Fingers crossed that this time around she takes her meds easily and gets all better.


Hi Subclinical :)
Great that you are making up your mind before being faced with decision making while at the food bank.
Good luck with keeping only one box.

Hi Tatoulia :)
The amazing shrinking person!
When Steven was still using my dishes he would hoard them dirty, full of food scraps, then sneak them out to the kitchen sink and dribble water all over them.
It was a nightmare for me to have to clean up that mess and I kept telling him to scrape the dishes and rinse them well then stack them by the sink as he used them, but he refused to do that.
Somethings were so disgustingly gross that I accidently "broke" them rather than try to clean them.
I am so happy that now he doesn't use my dishes any more, just paper plates and he keeps them out in the garage.
I think your Mom's kitchen would stay nice with dish washing twice a week.
That would only be three days worth to clean up.


Still just sitting here in my bed, drinking tea, on the laptop.
At 10:00am I will get up and maybe even venture out into the garage to see if he did do what I had asked.
Maybe I won't, don't want to get myself upset.
Right now I am in a good mood, thinking about cats taking up tatting and pencil puzzles.

Mom called and I asked her if it was nice waking up to a clean kitchen. So I'll try to maintain it for her. I know it's too hard for her to stand. I'll just make it a point to wash it down for her. The cleaning guy does it but if the counters are filled with dishes, then he won't be moving the dishes to keep the area clean. Plus she adds water to all of her dishes, sets them on the counter, puts more dishes on top, adds silverware, etc so it's one putrid mess. The stuff on the stove had cooked foods, then water then more dishes on top. Very disgusting. I talked with her about storing her dirty dishes dry vs adding water and letting them develop s world unto themselves. She won't. I know who too well, but I tried.

Good morning! Good to hear from you all and thanks for the chuckle on cats and their hobbies! Hoping the infections get cleared up soon, CM, for everyone's sake!

SubC, that is a great idea. If mom gets someone in once a week on dishes, I will do once a week. What I'm not willing to do is have mom do them and I do them once a week. I need her to accept help. I won't tell her this as I do not want her to feel bad. Her former cleaning lady loved her and would do the dishes and the cat box, which was beyond her scope. The new guy does what he is supposed to. He was doing the hallways yesterday and was very kind, helping me with the garbage, etc.

I'm home today. I do wish the cleaners were coming but the main lady has a dentist appt so she will come the afternoon of Wednesday. I thought it was really cute that she remembered my schedule and asked if Wednesday would be okay.

The clothes I wore this weekend are too big. I will wash and put in a donation bag. I brought a blouse to someone at mom's yesterday. The weekend stuff will go to goodwill.

We are having cool, fall weather. Wondering if it will last. So lovely.

Tillie I'm glad you enjoyed a nap!

Oh Tatoulia! That was so much!

Anyone would be tired after that!

I am glad your mother has you and amazed at you for getting through it. I hope you will be able to get someone in to do the dishes. Really, once a week is probably not enough. Will you do them once a week also?

CM, I had a cat who was very interested in bobbin lace, but we could never agree on the pattern. Also, she wanted to do lots of crosses and twists, but refused to move the pins.

Food bank today. I am so busy this week. One box. Maybe. No more.

Just a bedtime shoutout - everyone has accomplished great things today, so give yourselves hugs or else I will! That is a threat not a promise - LOL!

Our great accomplishments here were: Isolation of girl kitty and successful obtaining of urine sample, a few errands, and dog walk while the cooler weather is still around. Then naps. It's been a good day.

Boy kitty just upchucked his supper, have no idea why except that cats every now and then puke for recreational purposes. I've had zero luck trying to convince them to take up sudoku or tatting instead.

Hello

Hi Subclinical :)
YEA! for him vacuuming the upholstery!

Hi Tatoulia :)
GREAT BIG HUG! for all you did today.
Looking forward to that cabinet getting finished Wednesday.

Still have not ventured out into the garage.
Maybe tomorrow?
Did take a short nap today.

Good evening everyone. I'm exhausted. I've read all of your posts and hope you'll forgive one giant Brava in place of addressing you and your solid accomplishments individually.

I went to mom's today and I cleaned her kitchenette. It was terrible. Dishes in all sorts of decay and I can't discuss some of what I found. She begged me not to tell my BF and I will respect that. But I stayed until every dish was washed, dried, and put away. I completely cleaned cat's eating area. There were places and things that were so far gone that I offered to clean the litter box as a "palate cleanser". HAH! We laughed the whole time. Laughed and talked and some serious talks about life and death and I forged ahead. When I found a particularly disgusting area with mold (underneath a heavy wooden chopping board), she suggested I toss the chopping board. So that was good/no argument on that. She kept trying to get me to leave and she got a bit nervous so then I told her I have cleaners now and she was so happy to hear that. I took out between four and five bags of trash and I didn't even approach the fridge. That poor thing. We again talked about getting someone to do her dishes at least once a week. I cleaned out stuff I hope never to see the likes of which again. I worked four hours on a tiny kitchenette. Four. She has all these tiny flies which she called fruit flies but were bigger. I found their home/ecosystem and destroyed it. As I cleaned some of her dishes and pots and pans, I kept wondering if Horton Hears a Who lived in any of them.

She was embarrassed but luckily I kept her laughing. At one point she asked me not to vomit on her floor. I honestly didn't have a choice on that one. I was wretching.

She's great and I feel good. I came home, showered and washed my hair, then I needed to return some dresses I bought on line.

Ladies I am so tired these days. Since Friday.

Love you all.
Ps my cleaner is coming Wednesday this week. She cannot do tmr. That's fine.

When I worked and he went to school, and when the kids were little, he did all the vacuuming. When the kids got bigger and started helping with the housework and he was working and I was at home, the kids and I took over the vacuuming.

Sonehow, when the kids moved out, I got to keep the vacuuming. But I did the floors and he did the upholstery today, and it looks good.

We cooked dinner together and the timer just went off.

Hi Subclinical
Thank you
Those dark gray overcast cloudy days really mess up plans.
Without the sunlight our brains have no way to think straight.

Why doesn't DH vacuum any more?
Maybe there could be a compromise where the two of you could share that task?

WTG! for finding more stuff for the resale shop!


Treated myself to a pancake brunch.
Cleared the slow draining bathtub drain and washed a load of rags.
Think that's all the work I have in me for today.
Maybe I'll take a nap on the couch with a cat or four.

Yay Tillie!

You did the thing!

It was a genuinely hard thing too. Not just a personally hard thing! I hope you are enjoying beautiful sunlight!

I am still struggling.

The addition is all cleaned up (but not "clean" - I miss the days when dh did all the vacuuming...) and I found a little more yarn for the resale store.

But I feel asleep, or underwater, or something. I am having trouble with my sense of time because of the lack of light.

I did it.
I washed the windows & screens inside and out.
The inside were worse than the outside because of all the cat boogers.
Washed/hosed down the front door and porch too.
Hosed the door mats and have them on the fence drying.
Washed all the sun catchers that I keep hung in the windows too.
They are still drying on a towel.
I feel better about myself now, I was so ashamed how dirty I let the windows & screens get.

Good Morning Everyone :)

Hi CriticalMass :)
Thank you. You're too kind.
Hope the veterinarian can help get this urinary problem under control.
A sickly kitty usually is more hissy around other cats.
WAY TO GO! getting the sewing machine running!
Good luck making spaces to be creative in.

Hi Subclinical :)
Owls eat bats. Owls eat everything.
Good luck with your floor reclaiming plan.


Have not ventured out into the garage to see if Steven has done anything.
I am not strong enough right now for any more disappointments.
Have not washed windows & screens in a long time but my plan today is to get out there and wash them.
I am dreading this because it really makes my back hurt so bad.
But I am looking forward to having them clean.
It's only 4 windows to wash plus the storm door.
I never can wash his two bedroom windows due to all the clutter in the way inside and out and I can't reach the window that faces into the carport but that's ok because the cooler is in that window and I have tissue paper covering the other side so I can not see out there from in here, don't want to see that mess.

We used to have bats around the barn in the evenings, but I haven't seen them for a long time. We have a lot more owls than we used to, so that may be why. I miss them though, they were cool!

Not that I have much hope, but did Steven move anything?

Tatoulia, hooray for walking and that feel good exercise feeling!

CM, your craft table plans sound good!

I am sorry about your kitty. But I hope church was a positive and uplifting experience for you today. I think we can do a lot when we listen to and support each other at a community level.

The weather is awful here again today, so my sunlight dependent self wants to curl into a little ball and hibernate. Dh actually made me cry by asking me to discuss plans for some changes we want to make - I wanted to scream "don't ask me to make decisions! I can't! It's not fair!" I managed to say "look, I have a lot going on right now and this is too much for me today."

But I did do two really good things!

I put another coat of mud on the wall (still not the last coat! This wall is so uneven and battered!)

And I joined a "timer tidy" challenge on another board. I think I win the prize for shortest goal, but mine is to do 5 minutes every day on stuff that isn't routine (routine would be picking up or cleaning living areas, dishes, laundry...)

Today in my 5 minutes, I reclaimed an entire square foot of my basement floor. I have some stuff to go to school and some to go to the resale store.

Happy Sunday :)

It's really starting to feel like September to me. We have been having cool rainy weather. Boy kitty slept the whole night in my bed. Stole the covers for awhile too. I was able to reclaim just enough to cover my legs.

Looks like we will have yet another installment of cat urinary troubles to navigate through. Pretty sure it's girl kitty still with lingering infection or else the crystals. It was such a struggle to get the medicine into her before.

We'll have to see what the vet says. The cats have been on the new food and maybe it needs more time to work. It's sad to know she's probably in pain. The two of them have been having drama again and though they probably always will, if they feel better at least we can hope for less drama.

You all nailed it about my "wanter" problem - we get one another so well! It has been frustration about not having a nice space to work on art, crafts, sewing, even writing and computer (which takes the least amount of space - that tells you how bad it is) that contributes to my giving in to the addiction to seek MORE.

I a shared, not large house that had plenty of my roommate's own stuff before I arrived and even fitting me in was a challenge. Then over the years I expand bit by bit with purchases, projects, etc. The house itself is laid out with rather narrow rooms and halls, so there are many bottleneck areas.

It's hard on me to get used to because the house I grew up in was larger and my mom was a neatnik. (That apple - me - rolled a ways after it fell from the tree!) Plus as part of my ADD I have sensory aversions to brushing up against others - my personal space bubble is pretty good sized. And my roommate grew up in a big family and small house so I come across as a persnickety whiner. Sigh.

However, we are planning some solutions to implement. She wants to sew too, and I'm going to get a bunch of my stuff off the table in the back room that was intended to be a craft table. I also managed to rewire my sewing machine pedal - just with electrical tape again - I'll solder it later. My new walking foot is successfully attached to my sewing machine and ready to go this week for attaching quilt binding! When I finish that, and clear our craft table, we will both get a lot of enjoyment and productivity out of it.

Yesterday I also overcame procrastination and dread, went to my storage, and did a few little things. It was a great payoff for a small effort. I had imagined the unit in a bigger mess than it really is.

Don't get me wrong, there'll be plenty to do. But now that the weather is trending cooler, and I have a vehicle, I can at long last do as I'd hoped to do last fall and this spring, and get the stuff that I hurried to cram in from the old unit put in order. Probably find more to jettison in the process.

Thanks everyone for your kind support about my church crisis emotions. Tatoulia, I'm sure you had a ringside seat for the mess in Boston, which is the sort of thing we'd hoped would be behind us by now but I guess that was naive to think there wasn't more lurking. I seriously wonder if McCarrick is a sociopath. Either that or he has an extraordinary ability to compartmentalize the contradictory parts of his brain. Sigh.

Well, I pray and make extra effort to do good stuff at the grassroots level; we can all do something positive in some way to counter the effects of evil. Same as with 9/11 - the damage was great, no individual could repair it, but the collective efforts of individuals did much good.

It even is in a strange and small way like conquering hoarding. Like Tillie, not giving up and doing those small things - you may be just surviving and a hair's breadth away from "screw it all!" - but you don't. That's a form of heroism often overlooked by a world that wants big, dramatic, showy epic resolutions, complete with fanfare music and rolling credits. Real life isn't often like the movies. We either deal or life rolls over us.

I'm glad you're not smoking excessively. I grew up with a mom who had only had an occasional cig in social situations. Dad had smoked a little including a pipe, but hadn't by the time I arrived on the scene. I don't like bitter or sour tastes - only occasionally have coffee or a little sweet wine. My vices are more in the areas of gluttony and spending. I will pray that Steven actually does move the junk so you can reach the items you need. And so that no fires or accidents happen.

I didn't know bats flew in formation like fighter jets! How cool!

Well, time to fire my own afterburners so I'm not late to Mass! Iced tea clinks!

Good Evening everyone :)

Hi Tatoulia :)
WTG! for being ready to have the cupboard & cabinet washed out!
YEA! for a clean counter and all the shredding too!
So glad that that big old spooky cabinet will soon be ALL done!
What a great and fun walking workout you had.
Congratulations on quitting smoking.

I started smoking and drinking alcohol and coffee long before I was even born.
After I was born I never took up alcohol or coffee but I did keep on smoking.
At family get-to-gathers the grown ups would all be smoking and then flick the lit cigarettes off into the grass.
Me and my cousins would go grab the cigarettes and take them off to a corner somewhere.
We had to learn to smoke so we could blow smoke rings.
We wanted to blow smoke rings and get good at it.
Any time at home I could ask a parent if I could have a hit off their cigarette and I was always allowed even though I was just a little kid.
Then by the fifth grade I was smoking some every week.
In sixth grade my friends were asking me to teach them how to blow smoke rings and they would supply the cigarettes so I was smoking one or two some times more most days after school.
Seventh grade/junior high and I was buying my own smokes from the machine at the bowling alley and smoking every day before and after school and when out on the weekends.
Wasn't supposed to smoke so I couldn't smoke cigarettes at home but by high school I was allowed to smoke cigars at home.
Those small thin little tasty cigars.
Never did say that I had good & proper parents...

Did a load of laundry then at twilight I went out and enjoyed the bats.
They put on a good show tonight flying three together side by side and right over my head.

Hello everyone! CM so glad you are back. I can completely relate to the "wanted". Sometimes my thought process is, Ive gotten rid of sooo much, I deserve this little thing. But then I remember, I got into my situation one item at a time. And that helps me to put it back down and walk away. I too feel sadness about the Church and I can see how it weighs on you. This is our place to share our lives and this is an important part of your life and thus important to us.

SubC so the doggie is at your house! Glad you found the right stools! Listen, we all have those walls we didn't finish. We are here to help each other face those issues. Right now I'm doing a quick load of kitty laundry and I'm running the dishwasher. I'm going to have two cabinets ready for the cleaners on Monday: the big no-longer scary one and one of the upper ones. And I'm happy about that.

Tillie I was so saddened by your post. I am very sad about your dismal conditions. Unlike SubC (who is right), I thought, how nice that Tillie smokes (I am wrong, I know). A few times over the years, I have wanted to ask you if you smoked and I didn't. I had pictured you as a light smoker. As a former smoker, I cannot adequately express in words how much I enjoyed smoking. It was just so great. I'm fond of saying I only regret my last cigarette. I first quit in 1987, and that lasted til 1995. Then I let it go again and by 2002/3 I was smoking again. One pack on the weekends. Then it crept to a pack on Thursday, another on Saturday, etc and so forth. One thing is I didn't need to smoke during the day and I didn't like it in the AM. I was solidly a night/weekend smoker. Ah, but that too is long on the rear view mirror. I cannot guess how many years it's been. Maybe 10.

Well I stayed late at work last night then walked home. Today a work friend was in the office so I walked down to see her and we walked around the city, had dinner, and now I'm home.

Keep up the good work, everybody. I just scrubbed my kitchen counters and I shredded my mail. Kitty is on a clean pillow case on her chair. I'm physically tired from all the walking and that is a great feeling.

OK, he finally returned.
I went out into the garage and stated my case.
He did not get all ugly & mean.
Said he was working on moving that stuff.
I have heard that so many times before...

Today I have watered the lilac hedge and finally washed the dishes.

Hi Subclinical :)
Hope the mysterious stomach ache goes away and never returns.
Happy you found some lovely kitchen stools!

Even when scrap prices were higher Steven always refused to scrap anything.
He believes it will ALL come in handy some day.

He is off on his always every Saturday thrift shop, yard sale, dumpster diving gathering.
When he returns I will once AGAIN bring up the subject of getting his stuff out of my way out there.
He will probably get all mean and nasty and hostile.
That is his way of making me go away and drop the subject.
I will go smoke a cigarette rather than put my gun to my head, honest.

Hi Tillie,

We did get our stools. they are simple and wooden and look very nice in our kitchen. Sort of shaker style.

I hope that you make some progress with Steven today and get him to move some of his stash. I keep wondering if all the tariffs will raise the prices for scrap metal. If they do, maybe you can convince Steven to cash in on some of his junk....

There is a guy down the road from me who does a big clean out of his junk yard (yard junk) when scrap prices go up.

I have had a mysterious stomach ache all morning, but I am having a warm drink now and it is feeling better so I think I will get to work on my mess.

Good Morning Everybody :)

Hi Subclinical :)
Hope you find the exactly right kitchen stools and at a price you are happy with.
Good luck cleaning house today.
I don't smoke much, about 5 or 6 a day when I am extremely upset.
When I am able to do things without frustrations stopping me I don't smoke.

Sitting here wondering if today I should try again to get him to move some of his stuff out of the way so I can do what I want/need to do.
Or should I just lay down and give up.
The one small area in the garage is the only place I have to store some necessary and needed items.
The house is too small to keep them inside all year round.
He has a huge pile now stacked up all tall and fat in front of this area.
I can not get to my area to put things away or get things out, like the space heaters or necessary cat things.
Right now I have a large plastic tote/bin sitting in the middle of the floor between the kitchen and diningroom area that I can't put away.
The bin is full of cat blankets, sheets, towels, etc. that are all extremely helpful when taking care of sick or deceased cats.
I want to put it back out there where it is supposed to go.
Within the next month it will get cold and the cats & I will want the portable electric radiators.
These are all things that I can not store in the pump house because it is a pump house situated over a well with all kinds of plumbing connected to it and there are chances it may get damp in there. Plus the pump house is a very small little room with one corner of it already taken up by a huge stack of hoarded cans of paint of Steven's.
I could store some of these things in the pantry if I could get rid of that upright deep freezer in there.
But I have already thought through the logistics of that ever happening.

Oh well, not my style to give up...
I will try once again today to get him to move all that stuff out of my way.

Tillie, i'm Glad I could make you laugh.

I'm so sorry about Steven and the mess. If it wouldn't threaten you and your little nest, I would wish for a fire to come clean out his rat warren. You have such courage to deal with the situation every day.

I have to say that it makes me sad to hear that you smoke though. I worry about your health and I watched my grandfather smoke himself to death and it was very ugly. I also know how hard it is to quit, but I am going to make one request that you think about how much we care about you when you want a cigarette and maybe try to do something else first so that you smoke a little less or less often? And now I won't bring it up again.

CM, when my "wanter" gets into gear, I try to stay out of stores if I can. It's also a good time to sift through what you already have. Especially if there are things that have been packed away so long you don't really remember them. Finding favorite old stuff and pulling it to the surface can make your brain feel like it got new stuff.

Today I need to clean up my house. Dh wants to take me to get new stools for the kitchen.

Hi CriticalMass
Thank you.

I honestly believe that your "wanter" will settle down and be satisfied once you have the time to do your sewing and dolls and arts & crafts.

What you really want is that creative outlet and to finally be able to use all the things you have already gathered for this.


The best way for the "minimalist" to tame the "wanter" is to allow the "wanter" to be free to create.



Another Friday night...
Twinkles knows how to tell time.
Every evening around 7:30 to 8:00pm he starts following me around reminding me very vocally that it is snack time.
Good thing I have always remembered to buy cat snax, hate to think what would happen should I ever run out of them.

Tillie, I'm sorry it's gotten so much worse with Steven and the hoard. I can see how the accidental cigarette drop would be very tempting.

And I don't have a hoarding problem to that degree but I haven't gone in the direction I intended to this year either. I've been quite aware of my "wanter" being reactivated. For awhile I had been able to walk through Walmart or somewhere and think how I didn't want stuff. Now I am wanting certain items - dolls, fabric, art and craft supplies - even though I have enough to start a store!

The tension between the wanter and the would-be minimalist in me is strong. It swings back and forth. I think the minimalist will ultimately tame the wanter, but not without effort and negotiation.

Good morning everyone. :)

Hi Critical Mass :)
Mentioning our spiritual beliefs here is fine since they do affect a lot of different aspects of who we are.
So sorry a few members of your church have not been living according to the scriptures.
Needing/wanting to do something but having so many other things you must do first constantly keeping you from doing them is extremely frustrating.
Good luck learning how to solder. My father taught me when I was a kid and it isn't very hard.
But you have to use the right weight solder and flux for the project to get good results.

Hi Tatoulia :)
What a sweet special memory the purple iris invoke.
Hope that dog leaves your stuff alone.


Hi Subclinical :)
You made me laugh out loud with the witch burning conversation.
It is so freeing when you can stop trying to please the unpleasable.



My house is a big mess, but I don't care.
Let it all rot.
There are things I had wanted to do but Steven has heaped huge piles of crap in the way and I can't get to things I need to do what I had wanted to do.
We will be cold this winter because I can no longer get to the space heaters.
My garden cart can't be rolled out of the carport because his "goat trails" have gotten even narrower than they were before.
I have quit asking him to please move all this crap out of my way because the answer is always "where else could I put it?".
I don't answer him out loud but in my head my answer is rather rude.
I was standing on the back porch smoking a cigarette and was so tempted to flick the lit cigarette into the nasty dirty completely hoarded up carport.
If you could see this mess you would see what I see.
Honestly, there is nothing there that is any good/useable.
It's all broken worthless garbage he gathered from dumpsters that harbors nasty bugs and rodents that most likely have diseases like hantavirus and bubonic plague all piled up higher than me.
He keeps trying to pile up stuff again on the back porch which I want to keep clear, so every time I remove whatever he puts there he pitches an ugly fit.
He has run out of space to put his hoard and is trying to use the clear spaces I have made and keep trying to defend to start piling up the new stuff he keeps bringing in every week.
He believes that he can find a way to organize it all and it will all neatly fit into the garage that is so full already there is only a tiny narrow path from the door to where he has his computer set up.
He complains about all the mice in there but he has food type garbage all mingled in with his hoard.
Discovered he has set out poison for the rodents which will just end up killing cats and birds of prey eventually.

Sorry to go on about all this but sometimes I just can't pretend to ignore it any longer.
Wish he would get therapy for hoarding because it's the only way for someone as bad as him to ever start to get better.

That awful dog has been busy! Wednesday after school he tucked my tools in the "leave here" box and I didn't have them at my class i'm Taking yesterday morning! All I could do was take notes. My elbow is very sore this morning anyway, so maybe he thought he was protecting me.

Tatoulia, I love reading about your "overnight success" it helps me believe I will get there. And I am very happy for you.

Tillie, I hope today is a little brighter.

CM! It's great to hear from you! I don't mind at all if you talk about your church. I know it is important to you. I didn't realize you were catholic.

I definitely know that "things that need to happen before things" feeling.

I have a confession - dh moved my ladder and I stalled out on my wall because it felt to overwhelming to move it back. Now I have piled things in the way again, so they have to be moved, and every time I go down in the basement, I don't know where to start. So I go away again.

I have to clean all the stuff that was left behind by Dd off the guest bed because dh parents are coming to stay on the 22. That sounds like a long time, but you guys understand that two weeks is not long enough to pick up the house and clear off the guest bed and vacuum. Especially now when I am teaching again and the living spaces are a mess with the dishes and laundry backed up by Friday.

I was kind of bad though. Dh asked if the 22nd was ok (i'd say no, but they are his parents and I can't suggest "half past never" as an alternative) and I said "it's the equinox." Dh, who doesn't "get into that stuff", asked, "well can you do equinox stuff with my parents here?" And then he forgot he was respectful and added "maybe we could burn a witch." And before my brain could weigh in, my mouth shot out "sure. Your mom will be here." There was a silence and then he said "I set you up on that one."

I'm sure it will be fine. I stopped caring what they think when he finally did. One advantage of knowing people can never be pleased is freedom to stop trying to please them.

Anyway, last day of the first week of school today. Tired and excited. Dh is taking all of tomorrow off and we are going to "hang out" I think next week will be a little easier.

I keep going missing for longer than I intend to but I find my way back.

And usually several of us are dealing with somewhat similar things. I think our cats are past the physical illness but they still hiss and occasionally fight. Wish we could find the key to getting them to be friends.

I went to the doctor yesterday and surprise! I really need to kickstart my stalled out weight loss. Which I had wanted to do anyway.

Was going to resume going to the gym. But I'm still waiting for everything to align to finish the binding on my quilt. I want that DONE. I got the edges of the quilt layers basted so they'll stay in place. In doing so, I discovered I needed a walking foot for my sewing machine.

Before that I'd also discovered the foot pedal needed wires reattached to its circuit board. This will involve soldering. I have my dad's soldering iron but I first need to learn to solder, so I printed out some instructions.

My life seems so full of things that need to happen before the things I want to do can happen. Do you all find that to be the case as well? Either I'm dealing with backlog or putting out unexpected fires. Or being interrupted by the phone while attempting to do these things. And somehow all that translates into more clutter and more convoluted problems, more things to do.

Trying not to get stressed, which is sometimes easier said than done. I've also, as you can imagine, following the extremely disturbing and sad news of more scandals in my beloved Catholic Church, and just praying that the shakeup and purification will result in justice for the perpetrators and healing for the victims. I won't, as one person put it, abandon Jesus because of Judas. But the whole sordid business weighs on those of us who know things could have been handled better so the human suffering could've been prevented and the time it's going to take to rebuild trustworthiness could've been spent doing positive good, helping people.

I hope you don't mind my mentioning this topic; I realize it's not our usual fare. But it's part of what weighs on me, and I pray none of you have suffered personally from it but if you have, I am in solidarity with you. I realize we follow various spiritual beliefs here; the things I've said are intended in a spirit of transparency and candidness which I think is needed in these difficult times. I am grieving, basically, and it's painful but there's no way out but through.

Thanks for your support in the little things and the big things. Glad we're all here.

When I graduated from grad school, my mother threw a party here in Boston at one of the hotel restaurants. She had never hosted a party before. I think there were probably 14 of us at the dinner. And the day of the dinner mom and I went to one of the flower stands and we bought red roses and purple irises for the table. At the time I was the only family member here, mom was in Midwest and my brother was in college in NY. Or he may still have been in prep school, also in NY.

I never much gave irises any thought before that and now when I see them, I think of that evening, which was so delightful.

I am gathering up the garbage and the recycling. I am not yet done with kitty's box. I need to unload the dishwasher.

I did all of my laundry today, only kitty's stuff remains. I even changed my sheets.

I need to focus at the office tmr. I spent a lot of time on Wednesday obsessing over the doggone power cord.

I would love to vacuum but I think if I can focus on dishes, finishing cat box and working on cat's eating area then I can leave vacuuming to Monday.

Hello everybody

Thank you Tatoulia (((HUG)))

Went out in the yard this morning and dug out some old non-blooming iris in a small area.
I had to be out moving the hose around watering the trees anyways and the exercise was good.
Lots more things to dig out but little by little will get it done.

Standing right by your side.

Hi Tatoulia
Never apologize for talking about how everything is all coming together for you now.
You have worked hard and long for this day!

Darn that peeing dog...
If we ever catch it, it will be fun neutering it.

That was perfect timing on the jacket "hand-me-down".

Good luck with your cabinet plans.



Still struggling but working on it.

Good morning everyone!!

Tillie you are going to be surprised about my power cord! Whoever stole it from work then broke into my house and put it on my desk. DO YOU THINK IT WAS THE PEEING DOG?

I figured out what happened. Since Friday was a short day at work, my battery didn't run out and I didn't realize that I'd left the cord at home. Or was it the dog??

I'm proud of you SubC for finding your things so easily!

I'm on my third load of laundry! Yesterday two people at work commented on my jacket and I said, I've only worn it twice but I'm not going to wear it again. I can launder it and give it to you and one of the women said, I'll launder it. So at the end of the night I put it in the closet closest to me and sent an email. That was a good feeling. It fits and it's fine but I realized yesterday I wouldn't be wearing it again, so the timing was perfect.

My skirt yesterday was falling off of me. I'll launder and take to good will. Even with the heat, I don't think I can wear it again. It's a nice neutral summer skirt. I bought it this year when it was too tight.

I'm sorry to focus on this so much but honestly things are coming together for me. I'm an Overnight Success, five years in the making. I'm keeping up with the housework and my weight. I will make a second pass on one of my kitchen cabinets tonight because the cleaners come on Monday and I'd like to have two for them to scrub.

Hi Guys

Thank you both so very much (((HUG)))

Subclinical,
I am not surprised you have been able to find the school things.
You have done a lot of organizing and it's paying off.

Tatoulia,
Glad you will be working at home tomorrow.
Your IT saved the day by having a cord to lend.
Shouldn't take long at all to get the new replacement.

SubC! You do so much in a day! I am so impressed!

Today I went to office then I walked home. Very hot. I didn't part of my day at the office stressing because the power cord to my laptop went missing. I'm wondering if I accidentally left it on the desk when I left the office Friday. IT lent me one and they are going to have to order one. I can't brlieve someone took it. We have tons of power cords but I have one of the new laptops and they don't have any extras. I really obsessed, which was useless and a waste of my time.

I am working at home tomorrow as we are going to have a terrible heat day then a respite over the weekend.

I am going to run my dishwasher now. I'm also hungry but not sure if I'll make dinner or just have a V8.

Tillie sending you love. Take whatever time you need.

Tillie, I am so sorry you are in the black hole. If you can, imagine all of us with our arms around you. We understand if you just need to close your eyes and give in for a while, so no rush, but we are ready to lift if we can. One step at a time, the light is there.

School is my happy place. I get sooo tired though, but I don't even notice until I come home and stop moving. Today I did my normal morning route be plus yoga with dh and started a load of laundry.

Drove in an hour, Taught from 9:30 to 3:30 with a 45 minute "break" (paperwork and orienting my class helper), drove home, had a snack (breakfast?), filed papers from classes today and put the laundry in the dryer, drove down the road for a load of hay, and got it racked in the barn before the rain started.

Dh is on his way home with a bottle of wine and some sauce for the last of my ravioli.

I have been slowly shifting things back to school this week. Much to my surprise I have been able to find most of them.

Tillie I am so sorry. Depression strikes and all you can do is claw. The kitties and I love you and we need you. If you need a plane ticket (anywhere) let me know. I know your health is suffering and I suspect that the physical pain heightens your isolation. Please know you have friends here and we love you so much. You have made an immeasurable difference in our lives. TILLIE I have peace because of you.

Good Morning Everyone

Hi Subclinical
Seems like school being back in session is really good for you.
Good luck with staying organized and up to date.

Hi Tatoulia
Very happy Tigger is eating turkey and not fussing about the hidden pill.

Have fallen into a deep black bottomless chasm.
Clawing my way back out.

Wow! Great blood pressure. My all time low is higher than your summer numbers. But I'm working on it! Glad your day went so well and that you have been working on your dishes. I need to do my dishes now and brew some iced tea. I didn't do anything today other than vote and go to dr. I saw an adorable toddler at the dr's and she was so sweet and cried when I left. Boy she was a dear heart.

Tomorrow is supposed to be terrrible heat-wise. Today ended up not being so bad so I could've walked to and from dr; however, I was out of time and needed to drive. I really wanted to walk home.

Tillie my dear what are you doing? Any trouble with someone peeing out of turn? I hope not! Tigger is doing well on his meds. I'm proud of him for taking his pill twice a day. We hide it in turkey.

Tatoulia, hope the drs appt went well.

Keeping up with the dishes (actually, was behind and am a tiny bit less behind.)

Made dinner.

Had a great first day of school. So much paperwork to wade through! Determined to stay organized and not get behind on it this year!

(I've been monitoring my blood pressure on doctor's orders. Today, after my first day back with my kids it had dropped to 118/62 after spending the whole summer at 125-132/75-84)

And my classroom ceiling is leaking. Still dropped my blood pressure.

Hello everyone

Hi Tatoulia :)
Good luck with the Drs. appt. today.
Take care out walking around in the heat.

Hello everyone! I have today off because I have a drs appt smack dab in the middle of the day. We are going to have another scorcher today so I'll have to drive instead of walk. What a shame. But much like Tess, my heat intolerance is brutal.

It's primary day so I'll be voting. That will give me a bit of a walk, going from here to polling place to car. Maybe too I'll walk around the hospital for a bit.

Took the garbage out last night. Did kitty's box. I need to shred some papers.

Good Evening Everyone :)

Hi Subclinical :)
Yes! Get out your Grandmother's rum cake recipe.
Many of my favorite recipes are ones from Grandmas and Aunts. :D
They taste great but most of all I get a feeling of connectedness.
Have a great day tomorrow. :)

Did a few necessary little chores today but nothing much really.
Watched some stuff on ROKU.
Been nice just laying around all afternoon. :)

I think whoever helped set up the website showed them how to auto fill the open times on the calendar and nobody ever came back to edit holidays.

My grandmother used to make a wonderful rum cake. Thanks for the reminder!

Pound cake is done.

I get my kids back tomorrow! I may be posting less, but don't worry.

How frustrating Subclinical...
I suppose whoever posted it was open was told it would be but never told it would not be open and then they just forgot to update the site.

OK, good. You need to Make the cake. ;)
I thought you were going to drown it in brandy and age it like a fruit cake. ;D


WAY TO GO! for cleaning stalls and laundry!
Please baby that elbow.
So happy to read that otherwise you are physically feeling good. (((hug)))

Good Morning Everybody :)

Hi Subclinical :)
Of course your time this September will be taken up with adjusting to this new school year.
Half of your August time was getting ready for school to start and tending to your children's new lives away from home.
You have been doing a FANTASTIC! job of not bringing home anything that was not necessary and dealing with making sure things got recycled. ;D

Hi Tatoulia :)
Nice thing about September is that no matter how hot the days get it always gets nice and refreshingly chilly over night.
Thanks for the "LOL" about some random bad dog doing the mischief. ;D

Been looking around in here and see I am all caught up on things.
Don't need to water, not enough laundry to do a load and kitchen is clean.
Sure, I could do the regular house cleaning but not while he is home off work.
The floors and dusting and bathroom are not all that bad anyways. :D
No rogue random dog has peed by the litter box.
So, guess I have the day off, except for the usual daily cat related tasks. YEA! ;)

Let me start by saying that I say this with affection and recognize that I am the pot calling the kettle, but old people should not be given technology.

Last night I checked the food bank website to be sure they were open today. It clearly stated that they were. This morning I drove over and encountered a cardboard sign telling me they were not. The sign did not go up today because it had clearly been rained on at least once. Sigh.

So I came home and cleaned stalls. I have had lunch and a shower and started a load of laundry, and I am noticing that even though my elbow hurts, the rest of my body feels pretty good. So maybe I am getting into better shape.

Also, I have to MAKE pound cake, not age it.

Good morning! Mar it is great to hear from you! Don't worry about catching up. A long time ago we declared that posting is its own reward so please just post and read as you can!

SubC I love your idea of making September's challenge about getting into the rhythm of the school year!! I will work on my kitchen rhythm with Mar!

Tillie I am shocked SHOCKED that a dog broke into your house, peed on the wall, and blamed the cats. Bad doggie.

Switched out my summer bedspread for a light quilt. Am washing the bedspread now. And it will be 90F today.

Those ungrateful cats!

I'm glad at least you have a nice supply of yummy bread to comfort you. Don't share any with the little hooligans.

I need to age pound cake today so that dh will have it for his lunches.

I don't know about the September kitchen challenge, I didn't get very far on the surfaces. In fact, they may be worse than they were a month ago.

I haven't really made much progress anywhere. I'm not feeling bad about myself for it right now - just facing facts. I have done pretty well about limiting the backsliding in terms of bringing things home.

I'm falling behind on the feed bags again, but i'll be driving into town 4 days a week starting tomorrow, so I should have many more opportunities to dispose of them.

I think my chalkenge for September is going to be readjusting to working.

My chalkenge today will be making good decisions at the food bank.