Hi SubC - you're blessed to have an accountability partner! And like you, I still tend to push back at the accountability.

Food is getting easier to handle again - getting back into the groove I was in when I had my big weight loss. Was in the grocery store pushing my cart by the Hostess and Little Debbie - I haven't bought those for a long time anyway (though I've bought the occasional bakery cake on markdown). But I felt the chill feeling, like "I could buy those if I wanted but I don't want to." Neutral. Not judging them wonderful or terrible, just not particularly interesting. And on by to what I did come to get.

Tillie, we cross posted because my Russian novel took so long to write!

Going to get my vitamins to take with supper.

Also, Tillie, I just realized that I thought at you but didn't post thank you for sharing that memory.

That is the kind of future thing I am thinking about when I save stuff, but then I save too much stuff and it is overwhelming and there is not enough space for the good things to happen.

CM, I like your Russian novels! But I would still like to have you come by more often.

I hate to say this, but I have a studio - I cluttered it.

I am also a huge fan of Georgia O'Keefe. And Beatrice Wood. And Tasha Tudor. I like independent, artsy old women!

I am glad you have started on your goals! Hopefully the drive will feel good.

Tillie, thank you for the kind words.

Dh has been trying very hard to help, but sometimes he doesn't know what to do with me. And he does man stuff. Today I started telling him about finding two more frames when I was cleaning up, and I was all ready to tell him I had gone from five boxes and some loose frames to two boxes, when he interrupted and said I should keep maybe two frames.

I told him that was unrealistic. He should imagine that I was trying to do 50 push-ups. You don't tell me to start with 40! I can't do one push up, so if I tell you I did five STAIR pushups, you say that is a good start and try to help me to six! If I get to ten, maybe I drop down a step...

I cry a lot. This afternoon he sat in the new room so that he could ask me if I was really hungry when I headed for the food. It made me grumpy, but it was helpful. I told him "I want to eat because it makes me feel better!" And he said "go outside and do something. So I partly weeded the front flower bed.

I think I am going to get him to help me make a plan for tomorrow.

Hi

Keeping in touch again, hope you are all having a good Sunday.

Yesterday roommate and I went to Georgia O'Keeffe exhibit at art museum. I want to check out a bio of her and a coffee table book of her art from the library. Anytime I have a chance to look at someone who had a true vocation, career, calling, I am in amazement. I sure had thought at one time I would.

She was so independent, moving out to the desert. I can relate to the wanting to find a special place, although she could apparently handle her independence WAY better than I am able to. If I go too far away from my home or am too isolated, here comes the anxiety. Then too, by the time she was well known she had the money to affect her situation in ways I don't.

And she was focused and disciplined - she had things, but wasn't a hoarder. She had many ideas - and was able to finish things, something I struggle with. Sigh. But it was still nice to see the exhibit, to reconnect with my fine art side. It's been such a long while since I even went out to something like an art exhibit. Felt kind of strange even. Must do so more often so it doesn't feel so strange.

As for my goals I laid out in my post the other day:
* I've started taking the vitamin supplements. No huge change yet - I feel kind of stirred up, whether that's change starting to happen or just how I'm feeling, I couldn't say. I had a bit of a cry last night, which probably let off some steam. Felt kind of blah this morning; going to Mass lifted me up a bit.
* I've gone on social media less, and when I do limited my Barbie group time.

So that's a start.

Sometimes I still can't help wondering about whether I'm on the autism spectrum. I don't need any more labels, the Lord knows, and I've had so much therapy in the past I got very burnt out on it - but since autism is in my maternal line cousins, the wondering is there. I guess if I concluded I have the condition, I could talk to some other people with it. I end up doing that sometimes anyway, since the things I know I have overlap with it.

Oh well. I guess if I need to know, I'll know.

In the meantime, and on a more mundane level, I need to go out here in a bit, and get a few essential groceries. I had wanted to go out driving last night when my emotions were messy but it was kind of late. So a little trip hopefully will be fun, provided people aren't annoying on the road or in the store!

Tillie - I'm sorry Steven is such a mess, and I wish there was a way to extricate you from the situation and not lose pension or whatever it was that you have put up with him for. I'm glad you do have Nate & Mrs. Nate as fallback, but I want you to be safe if a fire started. I suppose water is at a premium so it's probably impractical to suggest spraying some on the bushes.

Just be safe...

SubC, glad your dad did well with the heart procedure. And I sure feel your daughter's pain with the anxiety, especially work-related type.

Homemade ice cream - yum, nothing like it in the world.

WTG on 98 things and counting!

Blocks and dolls are nice keepers, in reasonable numbers. I'm debating how to deal with my Barbies. There is a rollie cart at the storage unit for them, but I've been liking having quite a few of them with me at the house here. At least till I can sew a few outfits and do more photography, and make a list of which ones I have. So for the ones here, I think I may go up from shoebox to sweater box size (but fewer of the latter). It won't take up any more space if I turn the sweater boxes long side forward.

Could also relate to you and hubby and the general space situation. I've kind of encroached on my roommate's spaces with my clutter, though I've been aware and working to reverse that. Especially the sewing area I mentioned earlier. And I LIKE space - I WANT it - and I am savoring it when I go other places, trying to imprint on my brain how good it feels.

I'm such a nester. Where I sit on the sofa is like a nest with drink, computer, current projects nearby. Would like to change that, to the working style of bringing out one project to a proper work space, working on it, being able to put it away... I know this is going to sound like First World Problems, but I really need a studio.

Tatoulia, wise decision to rest when your body asks for it. Hope the kitty will be wanting to curl up with you.

Best wishes again for boyfriend's kitty. I can relate to hoping many years ago I wouldn't ever have to decide to have a bunny put down, but my poor Annie in '02 had end stage kidney disease and was deteriorating. It was gut wrenching. If an animal lives a long life I can handle their passing, and would probably be able to handle having them PTS. It's the young ones with mysterious illness, and the ones that were fine but got into contraband that I didn't realize and nothing could be done - those senseless early demises broke me into pieces.

We had a big rainstorm in the evening last night and another round woke me about 5:00 a.m. with lots of thunder and lightning. The air from the cold front felt nice last night but overall we've had so much rain the past 2-3 months that with it heating up now, we're going to be in for some pretty miserable humidity I fear.

Sorry I keep writing Russian novels - I'll try to check in often enough that my posts can be shorter again!

Subclinical
You really have turned the corner.
You are taking control and no longer allowing the clutter to be in control.

"I want my life to be easier now."

I promise you it will be easier once the backlog is cleared, sorted, organized and purged.
(((HUG)))

WAY TO GO!!! for 121 items!

Use the anger but do not direct it to yourself.
Direct it to fixing the problem.

YEA! for your stubbornness superpower!!!

My Granma had some of those blocks in the bottom drawer of the buffet in the diningroom for me to play with.
She also had some old wooden clothes pins painted up to look like people in there.

Just one of my first memories. :)

Some colored blocks, some alphabet blocks, and some shaped blocks that make a castle. Also wooden castle people.

I packed up the picture frames and found two more to donate - so 100!

I got out the big bin of doll clothes, accessories, and dishes and sifted through it. I put the dishes in two little drawers, the clothes in a small bin, and am going to put the accessories and blankets in another small bin. I put 21 items in a gallon ziploc bag to donate, plus I have two doll blankets to donate that wouldn't fit in the bag.

I want my life to be easier now.

I am going to get this basement sorted out.
I am going to get all the inappropriate stuff off the floors in my house.
I am going to have space to do the things I want to do
And when I want something, I am going to be able to find it.

I am tired
I am frustrated
I am getting fat
I am letting a lot of other stuff slide
I am angry that I did this to myself.

But stubbornness is my superpower.

Good Morning Everybody

Hi Subclinical
Makes me happy you have tape on you. :)

Sounds like a very pleasant evening you had.

WAY TO GO! dropping off those 4 bags of recycle!
That makes a huge difference when obvious recycle, compost and trash go away.

Are those brightly painted wooden children's type blocks?
Wonderful that you won't be buying any more bins.
Good luck finding a solution that feels easy.

Someday when your kids are older and more settled in their own homes and lives your life will be easier.
Things you keep for them, they will then keep.
Things you have but no longer need can go to them to use and enjoy.

Scooter was paying attention, he is scouting out an escape route.

My first cat dropped dead suddenly in the driveway one August afternoon - we assume it was a heart attack as she was extremely fat.

The cat before mr. kitty went blind, got very thin, and smelled bad but enjoyed food and sleeping. The last four days of his life, he wandered in circles, but still purred when you pet him. My family wanted him put down. He stopped eating the last two days and they wanted him put down. He was still purring in my lap, which is what he did pretty much all day the last day when he was refusing water, and he was still purring at 1 a.m. when I tucked him into a cardboard box full of soft towels and went to bed. He was already cold in the morning.

Other cats have just asked to be let outside and never returned. Only one had to be put down. She had end stage liver disease and was in pain.

My girls put a piece of tape on me and wrote their brother's name on it. They told his girlfriend that if she married him, she would have to take care of me when I am old. She said she was cool with that. She is now his wife and still on my tape.

We went to the mall to get dh pants but didn't shop for me. Instead we called our kids who live near the mall and took them out fir dinner. Then we went back to their place to admire the screened porch Dd created out of their covered patio and to cook s'mores in their back yard.

We also dropped off the recycling at the municipal drop. Dh and I created four paper grocery bags of recycling this month. Although that included water bottles from the food bank and that bag of cardboard tubes I found - which squashed down.

I need another large bin for blocks.
All my large bins are full.
I am not buying more bins.

So, my choices are:
Leave the blocks on the basement floor
Get rid of the blocks
Empty a large bin by removing the stuff in it.

I do have a small bin, so if I can rehome/discard part of the stuff in a large bin, I can put the rest in a small bin.

I don't know if I can face any of them right now though. I need to come up with a category that feels easy. Or find a way to make a category feel easy - the way seeing all the beautiful inexpensive frames at the thrift store made it easy to purge frames.

Steven got up about 3pm and was headed out to the garage.
I went out on the back porch where he was and brought up the subject of all the weeds and fire danger.
Pointed out the side yard and the back yard and the front yard out where he has those derelict vehicles and all the tall weeds growing.

He said "umhum"
Then he said "finally was able to get some sleep".
And he walked into the garage and has remained in there.


I went out this evening and watered the garden & grass.
Scooter & Twinkles came out with me.
Scooter jumped the fence again and didn't come when I called.
Finally he came back, walked right up to me looking guilty but happy to be home.

Hi Tatoulia

I've had a lot of pets in my life and no matter how hard I wish it they never peacefully pass on their own in their sleep.
But I was always there to hold them.

Old cats get scrawny, don't eat much, feel chilly and want warm laps and sleep a LOT.
If they are showing no signs of stress they are alright.
They really enjoy those naps and naps make them happy.

Good luck recliner shopping.
Maybe it won't be too hard to find what you need, good price and delivery included.

Hope you can get in your meditative walk tomorrow so you can work out the frazzles. (((HUG)))

Nate put tape on me back when he was still a little kid. ;D

Great job SubC!!! I am so proud of you!!! Wow!!! I hope it's contagious because I haven't done a thing for my house all day. I did two loads of delicates (yes I split things up laundry wise. I am who I am). I need to get motivated! Actually I am motivated but I'm using it all toward my physical health/food/walking.

I did not get enough walking in today. Things kept getting in my way, which that it is 10 PM and I'm with the cats.

I rested for a bit then BF called and we tried a new restaurant. Delicious, expensive, won't be a go-to place for us. But beautiful. We were hoping to find a replacement for a place that we used to enjoy four times a week. That's okay. We probably shouldn't eat out that much.

We were going to go for a nice long walk, but first I needed to drop off the butter and margarine and cat food I'd picked up for mom. Earlier in the day I'd dropped off some bread and her sunglasses. (I took her Christian Dior glasses from the 80s and had plain dark lenses put in). Anyway, I left there and was headed home when I stopped at Lobstah on a Roll to sit outside and hunt for my keys. When I mentioned I must've left them at mom's, the restaurant owner gave me a chowder to take to mom's. I thought that was really nice. He sees me all the time going from my apt to mom's. So that was nice. I did find my keys. At mom's. Meanwhile mom had broken her recliner so my BF came over to fix it. Well it has more problems than we can solve so now I have to get her a new one. I'm pretty frazzled here. Very frazzled.

So I have a kitty on my lap and another one who's playing with a paper straw.

BF is backing off putting Tigger to sleep and I'm supporting him, for now. He wants to consult with the dr. His employee also says that the cat is fine. So we shall see what Monday brings. But we are getting to the end and I need BF to find peace with it. I know it would be easier for BF if the cat to just pass on without assistance.

I'm frazzled. And I didn't get a long walk in. I did about five miles with errands and running between mom's and my house but not the soothing walking where I just cruise the mall and sort out my brain. It's well after 10.

Tillie I'm glad that Nate and Mrs Nate have already put the piece of masking tape on you. (That's what we used to do, put masking tape then write our names).

Im just too frazzled today. And tomorrow now has to include buying a recliner. BF is giving me his credit card so I don't have to use mine.

Hi Subclinical

WOW! just WOW!!!!!!!
You found so many things to release!
FANTASTIC!

Hope you find a magical pair of black dress pants that look and feel perfectly.

YEA! for making a space for Dh's workout bag so it is put away and not looking like clutter in a corner.

You have done so much more this month than the challenge you set for yourself.
When we work at making all those hard keep/toss/donate/recycle decisions it's like exercising our muscles.
The more we work at it the stronger our decision making muscles get.

Steven would encroach on my empty spaces if I didn't fiercely defend them at all times.
He also wants to keep almost all my cast-offs, even gets things out of the trash.
If he dies before me then I will have to re-declutter things I decluttered ages ago.

I'll take a tub of our vanilla ice cream
then top it with peaches. ;D

Good Afternoon Everyone

Hi Tatoulia
Thank You (((HUG)))
But Nate and then Mrs. Nate too put "dibs" on me years ago that they would come get me and I would live with them and they would see I have whatever I need.
Nate would like to have a commune of the three of us, grow veggies, have hens and I would make rag rugs & beeswax candles to sell.
Nate has been doing blacksmithing and starting up an engine repair business.

I'm happy that you have no scheduled appointments and can lay down and rest.

Of course you are down in the dumps.
These days before we have to say goodbye to a loved one are always very hard.
Please be extra kind to yourself, my thoughts are with you.


Quarter to two pm and he's still in bed...

Tatoulia, never apologize for feeling down. We want to be here for you when you are tired or sad too, not just to celebrate!

Tillie, I wish I could give you ice cream!

I'm sorry about Steven and the prozac. Guess it didn't matter to him that it was going something for other people...

Last Christmas, my kids were telling stories and we were all laughing and one said "I swear, next year everyone is getting therapy for Christmas." I said "I don't want therapy." And she said "you getting therapy is going to be everyone else's present!" Then another kid yelled "too late!" But we were all laughing, so they only mean it little bit.

Dh used to do that getting rid of his stuff to have space, and then I would encroach on the space. Also, I would save his stuff, because I was sure he was going to be sorry he got rid of it. And I felt bad that he was getting rid of good stuff when I was saving less good stuff. But I didn't stop...

It really took me a long time to understand that empty space is important "stuff" to him. So when I filled up his space, I was basically taking his stuff.

This morning he helped me hang pictures in the guest room. In the process of hanging pictures, I found 18 more frames (some with "store" art in them) that can go.

Also, I finished my closet. I found an eye mask, a glasses case, a hair band, a scarf, 7 more sweaters, a skirt, two blouses, and a storage basket that can go.

I am freezing ice cream, and I found two replacement paddles that do not fit my ice cream maker, so they can go too!

That is 35 things! I am up to 98! I am totally going to find at least two more things in the next week, so I will double my goal!

I am very happy with my guest room.

And my closet looks so nice. I even moved my mending basket out of the bedroom onto a closet shelf and made enough space under the bottom shelf so that dh can put his workout bag there instead of in the corner of the bedroom where it looks messy.

Dh asked me "so, do I need to take you shopping?" And I told him "no, because I still have too many clothes. But if you wanted to buy me a pair of black dress pants that looked really good on me, that would be ok." I kept my black dress pants, but they are the only thing that probably still won't fit if I lose ten pounds.

He says maybe we will go to the mall this weekend because he needs to pick up the pants he had altered, and if we do, we can look.

I know you don't need a safety net, Tillie, and I know that you are resourceful, but if you ever take the cats and run, I'll send you some pocket money through Corey.

I have done only modest walking today. I went to visit BF then I stopped to see mom. I also went to Whole Foods to buy yogurt and granola, and I just had some as a snack.

Today was the day I was supposed to take that girl from the troubled family to the museum. I assume her father said no and I didn't follow up. If she reaches out, we can always reschedule. But I know when I brought it up to the dad he wasn't enthusiastic. He said, oh she loves art and left it at that. I'm not getting in the way.

I'm laying down for a minute on my bed. I'm overheated for no reason.

I'm so sorry about your daughter's anxiety attack, SubC. You handled it so beautifully.

I'm sorry. I'm tired and a bit down in the dumps. I'm going to lay on my bed for a while.

Good Morning Everyone

Hi Subclinical
That was good advice you gave your DD
to be the adult in the situation.

I could really use some of your ice cream.

So glad your Father came through that procedure and is doing alright!
That is a scary one for sure. (((HUG)))

WAY TO GO!!!
All the way up to 63 now!

Hope there is more sunshine in the near future for you, sunshine always helps with everything.


Got down in the high 40s over night, 62 degrees now.
Tempted to get out a space heater but refusing to because it's SUMMER.

Steven has alienated so many people due to his nasty negative mean personality.
There is one man that I guess you could say is his friend but he never comes over to the house.
The other year he was prescribed Prozac and started taking it. There was a very nice positive difference in his outlook but he quit taking it saying it did nothing for him.

The more he hoards & squalors and neglects the place the more I do to minimalize my possessions, clean and maintain my "No Clutter Zones".
I am running out of things to purge.
If he would start decluttering and cleaning up I know I would be able to stop getting rid of my things.
It's like a perverted form of anorexia to always be going through my items and getting rid of them.
Nothing has any meaning or value or use to me any more.

The tall weeds are posing a GREAT fire danger.

Today I want to have a conversation with him about the state of the property, the roof repair and the finances.
Not about the hoard/hoarding.
He will just sit there and stare at me, no responses to anything I say.
It is all so frustrating.

I will get the two cats out and let it burn...

Hi everybody!

Tillie, I wanted to wish you a happy solstice, but I was putting it off to report and then my day just fell apart.

We did have a break in the rain and the sun was out almost all day as our celebration.

Steven's life sounds dreadful. Does he have any friends?

My dad had his heart medically stopped and restarted yesterday to fix his heartbeat. It worked. He is ok.

I worked in my closet and I have a pile but I will list that later. I also got rid of a container and a book - 63.

And one of my children, who has an anxiety disorder, burst through my front door crying and gasping and announced "I can't breathe!" Followed by "i'm Okay" when I shot to my feet like a startled turkey. Then she collapsed into incoherent sobbing and gasping. She is ok. It is work related. Her boss is not a grown up.

She called me later and told me she was starting to get all stressed out again thinking about Monday. I said "on Monday, you are going to go in and act like it never happened. There is nothing you can do about it right now, so you are going to be an adult and do your boss the favor of pretending that he didn't embarrass himself."

Also, I told her to start looking for a new job, but that is complicated because she may want to move to a new state in a year.

So, yeah.

Also I made cheese and I have ice cream mix ready for the ice cream maker today. It's going to rain all day again, so dh said he would help me hang a couple of pictures.

CM, how are you doing?

Tatoulia, pet the kitties for me too.

Good Evening Everybody

Hi Tatoulia
Very happy you are spending quality time with Kitty.
You have your priorities straight.


Still doing that "Gentle Art Of Swedish Cleaning".
Today I sold off all my old nickels and wheat back pennies.

Got rid of assorted small miscellaneous.

Have a pile of things in the car to donate next time I venture into town.

Played with my doll house a little today.

First day of Summer here started off chilly. Got down in the 50s over night.
Had to fetch my extra blanket from it's shelf.
Never got higher than the low 70s today.
Beautiful! ;D

Had an Oriole visiting.
He wanted apricots but when he saw they are not ripe enough yet he went to the mulberry tree and ate berries.

Tillie that's so awful. Just awful. I'm speechless.

I'm home, at my house with my kitty. Between walking all the time and taking care of the cats, I don't have a lot of time. So my little buddy and I are cuddling.

I'll write more tmr. I need to just spend some time with my baby cat.

WELCOME SUMMER

Hi Tatoulia
Sounds like you enjoyed a lovely evening. :)
The baby sat kitties appreciate you. (((hug)))


Hi Subclinical
My menu plan was just so that you would eat proper nutritious food and not hate yourself for eating only crap all day.
All I ate for weeks after having to put my kitty down was just crap and I am paying for that dearly now.

Everything here has gotten greatly worse since Steven quit work.
The property is completely overgrown with tall weeds now from all the rain we got.
His hoard is now occupying half the driveway and he just keeps adding to it.
His bedroom is disgusting.
He has been sleeping on a bare mattress covering himself with a bathrobe at night.
Dirty clothes heaped high everywhere.
Old dried up cat vomit piles everywhere cause he never cleans it up.
He spends all his time in the garage hoard drinking alcohol and smoking cigarettes saying he is cleaning and organizing the hoard out there.
I peeked in and it's still a hoarded squalorous stinky filthy mess.
He stays out there until about 3:00am and then comes in and sleeps in his nasty room until late afternoon.
Then gets up, does not shower but once or twice a week, goes "shopping" returns home and goes into the garage.
He looks horrid, smells horrid and talking to him about anything is simply horrid.


I have been watching the hundreds of apricots on my tree slowly start to change color from green to apricot.

Tillie,

I appreciate your menu idea. The problem is that I just eat. I eat until my stomach hurts. I eat carrots and broccoli and many fruits and some nuts and sometimes bread just to try to make my stomach full. I want to eat ice cream and chocolate and cheese and sometimes I eat all the other things trying not to and then give up anyway. I use up too much of my energy trying to do the cleaning out work, and something else falls apart instead.

Usually if I can avoid the ice cream until dh comes home, I can avoid it completely.

I didn't bake or make cheese today because I was afraid I would just eat it.

Tatoulia, I forgot to say that your blanket shelf is awesome!

CM, I think you did ok. I would have caved for fifty cents for sure! I am wondering if you can just bag all the extra Barbie parts and donate instead of worrying about matching them up. It seems like someone like you or me might be happy to find them and do their own matching.

You have a strong plan to get your feet under you.

How can we best support you?

I talked with dh about the weight and my day and cried over my grandfather and missing my cousin. He is trying to help me come up with a plan to get back in the pool soon. (The thing he can help, since there is nothing he can do about my grandfather and kidnapping my cousin and bringing her to me might be over the top)

What a dear story about the outfits, SubC. I'm thrilled you can still wear the skirt and that you've decided to relocate the top. WTG on the 61 items!!! You are fantastic!!

CM and SubC, I unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on point of view) do not understand dolls or doll collecting. I think you've outlined a good plan CM. How can we get you the vitamins you need? I like that you recognize the need to take care of body and mind. Good first step!!

Tillie I love your menu for SubC. You are so sweet and so clever. And there's a lot to be said for allowing the sweets at the end of the night.

I'm had a very good walk with my friend. We walked the mall and then I took the longest way up to see BF. he was going to walk me home but I was so hungry so we stopped at a nice coffee shop and I ordered the sweet potato sandwich. SO DELICIOUS. Arugula, tomato, goat cheese and honey. I have them leave off the avocado. While he relaxed, I ran a few baked goods up to mom. So I got a quick mom visit in.

Now I'm downstairs with the neighbor's cats.

I didn't get a bag together today. Tomorrow and weekend. I ran out of time. Very busy at work. And then I had to leave right at 5 to meet friend for walk.

Well I will go home and shower soon. Clean sheets. Pretty excited. So I didn't accomplish everything but I did accomplish some things. And I feel good about my day. I'll also get garbage together but too dark to take out now. (I have to put in alley). I love having this dear sleeping cat in me.

CM I support your need to keep a car. I'm excited about my decision to not replace my car. I'll keep mine at least until September and then I'll decide from there what to do. I'm sorry you don't like walking, it is terrific exercise. I think about joining the Y again but for right now the mall walking is making me really happy.

Hi CriticalMass
We posted about the same time.
"Clink!"

GREAT! game plan you have outlined!!!
Wishing you all the strength you need to follow through.
We are here for you, win or lose.

When you see a yard sale sign tell yourself not to bother looking.
Say it's all useless, broken, damaged, man type stuff you have no need for or attraction to.
And do NOT slowly drive by "just to look".

Hello Everybody

Hi Tatoulia
Thank you :D

WOW! a clear open shelf to keep the blanket!
YEA!!!!
So nice to have a place to use and not just store.

That's unfortunate that nutritionist talked about so much that was NOT diet related.
Your issue is not improper food, it's needing to know the foods to avoid.
It is very surprising sometimes what chemical compounds some wholesome nutritious organic foods naturally contain.

Hope your mall walking with a friend was fun. :D


Hi Subclinical
YEA! for your basement plan.
Is your basement cool in the Summer? I hope so.
OK, here is my plan for your emotional eating...
I know it's not the same as the usual "Go-To".
Have on hand and all ready to grab & go
crunchy carrots, celery, radishes, etc...
Cherry tomatoes, grapes (frozen is fun), cherries & berries, etc...
Try to eat a filling breakfast of granola or oatmeal, etc...
Have a nice sandwich when you break for lunch.
Plan a supper of meat & veg and potatoes, rice or pasta.
Then before bed eat a tub of ice cream.

How's that? ;D

WAY TO GO!!! you have been doing fantastic!
61!

Thank you for sharing that sweet story about the outfits. (((hug)))

Hi CriticalMass

4:30pm here now.
When it cools down a little outside I will water lilac hedge.
Trees are all watered.
I made French toast.
Tomorrow is a holiday so I will just enjoy myself, all caught up today on "have-Tos".

Survived the garage sale day, and the occasional moodswings that accompanied it. I did buy the doll that was the same size as Wellie Wishers - it's a new size, 14", that I want to make clothes for along with 18" American Girl and Barbie, Ken, and other fashion dolls. The 14" doll was only 50 cents and in good shape.

I also bought some bagged Barbies. They are from times when the bodies were made better, could bend knees, etc. Lots of hardcore Barbie people swap heads and bodies to give prettier dolls more articulation. The downside is you do end up with depressing piles of spare parts, ugly frizzy haired heads for example. I chucked those in a small box and will deal with them soon - pair up what I can and donate to thrift shop and be done with that. There's more, which I will explain below.

In answer to your question regarding the sewing table, SubC, no, my roommate doesn't or wouldn't reclutter it. I'm actually the worse offender with that. Her main craft is knitting, and I admit to some envy that she can just pick up the knitting bag, resume where she left off, and put it away again at the end of a session. But she does want to start sewing too, and I did promise not to monopolize the table.

However, she does have (forgive my hypocritical judgmentalness here) so much visual and space filling clutter throughout the house and garage in terms of home gadgets, cleaning products, garden products, etc., that never get used, and a lot of duplication because she forgerts she bought stuff and buys more of the same thing, or people foist their extra stuff off on her. We have gotten rid of some, but if I nag, it causes defensiveness - weird having the shoe on the other foot. I'm ashamed of how I get fussy when it isn't my house. I'm working on keeping my mouth shut...

Unlike hers, my creative projects tend to sprawl, be messy, need time for wet things to dry/set up sometimes, and since a lot of my supplies can't fit under the same roof as where I live, it's difficult to gather. I spend time and energy just getting started on something only to have to put it away which is depressing and often keeps me feeling like why start.

Looming things and ambivalences are weighing on my mind too - this black gravity pit of dread. The bunny club event, trying to keep track of planning for that; and anticipating the need to save money for sensible but unexciting things like a grownup. Those include auto body work where I discovered hidden rust - this brings sadness like reliving the nightmare of my old money pit van. July is also my month for tags and taxes, and I still need to get a used rim and have the spare tire mounted. But unlike Tatoulia, I like having my own vehicle, and am creeped out by public transport or walking - so I just have to put on the big girl panties abd maintain this nicer vehicle, which I know has been a blessing.

Tatoulia, by the way - many thanks for the sharing of relatable frustrations in your decluttering journey, although of course I wish none of us had to go through them. I'm glad the broken dryer is fixed and no longer on your list of aggravations.

Tillie, thanks for just everything, as always, especially the "just Scooter's toy not a scorpion" story. 😸

Okay, will wrap up, but one last important order of business.

Regarding my Barbie and other doll addiction - I'm gonna make a goal to counter the negative, so I can "spark joy" instead of worry. You all can help me. First baby step: resume taking my nutritional supplements such as Omega 3s which do calm my ADD and overall mood.

Second step: Get exercise in a way that lifts my spirit. The hard part will be duscussing with the YMCA admins about security, then hopefully feeling safe enough to resume going there. I love my solitary, meditative routine of a little cardio, weights, and a swim.

Third action step: I'll make a structured discipline system regarding my social media doll groups. Certain of my Facebook Barbie groups show people with huge collections. This feeds the monster - even when i dont want a huge collection myself! I'm going to take a break from those. I will make smaller doll social media activity a reward for doing those things that are harder to motivate mtself to do. And I'll set a timer even when I do use that as a reward.

Weather here is trending hot, which isn't pleasant
but makes garage saleing not fun either, so that should help me keep these resolutions. I'm copying all this into a document so I'll remember the game plan.

ICED TEA CLINKS

Hi Tillie!

I am going to finish this giant pile in the basement this summer.

Hopefully without gaining 20 lbs from emotional eating.

I have been moving back and forth between the basement and my closet. I found two little flower pots, a bowl, a fancy candle in a jar and 16 picture frames to get rid of. So, I am over my 50.

I also found a knit top. 61.

But the top has a backstory. When my cousin and I were kids, our grandparents - whom we adored - used to buy us matching or coordinating outfits. Which was not always kind, because I was fat and she was thin as a rail. But they thought we were adorable.

We got our last matching outfit in high school - long skirt, jersey knit top, came as a set. Looked good on me. Hers was wine and mine was navy. It dressed up, it dressed down and I wore it a lot. When my grandfather died, we were in our 40s. we were told not to wear black to the funeral. My cousin wore brown. And I wore that outfit. When she saw me, she smiled. She said "I almost wore that. But I decided it was too faded. The wine didn't hold up as well as the navy."

I came home and I put it in my closet and I have not worn it since. So today I tried it on. And the chest is just little tight, and the sleeves are just a little short. I don't know if it shrunk, or if the sleeves have always been on the short side - I have long arms and trouble finding sleeves. And yes, it's just a little faded. But the skirt still looks nice. So I paired it with a different top for a different look, and I put the original top in the donate bin.

And now, I just want to eat ice cream.

Tatoulia, i'm sorry the nutritionist wasn't prepared for you. Do you go back? Maybe take a list of questions?

Wow! Great work, Tillie! You did so much heavy cleaning, I'm not surprised you have neck/head pain. Glad the caffeine and ibuprofen are doing the trick! Congratulations on keeping a tidy house and scaring away any creepy crawlers!

Oh I used to find a little cat toy in my shoe. She doesn't do it anymore and that's fine.

SubC great decision making on your dresses!!! I love it! I have a white belt you can have. It's funny, it almost fits me again and I'm giving it a month or so to fit, then another month to see if I wear it, then it is relocated.

I forgot to tell you something that's making me very happy about my bedroom closet (I have organized three or four drawers and six shelves). I have an empty shelf that I put my blanket on when I make my bed. I run the AC pretty cool and even though I have the quilt at the end of my bed to help, sometimes I need a blanket, too. So now I have a shelf for it. Take out at bedtime, put back in AM. It is making me very, very happy.

I have the life skills right now to do the right thing about eating I'd like guidance on low sodium and low potassium beyond what I find online. I'd like to discuss it with somebody. I don't want to say mean things about my very nice nutritionist yesterday, but I learned more about her than she learned about me. I know who she's dating, that she's divorced, she has a sister, a daughter in her 30s, that she prefers salty foods over sugar, etc. pretty much not helpful. She's on high blood pressure meds, etc. WHY DO I KNOW THIS? I shouldn't know this. I know nothing about the woman I spent $1000 on last year and I've seen her six times. I know her credentials and that she used to be in the military. All of that I learned on line. She never mentioned herself. I need to make an appointment with her. I think I'll call her to get an estimate as to the cost. It will be money well spent.

So I'll talk to dr but I need to be gentle. I cannot say bad things about yesterday's session. She is trying to be helpful but I need advanced help. She'd be great if she were dealing with someone who eats fast food and needs education on proteins and veggies and fruits vs fruit juices, processed vs minimally processed, etc. the basics. She said, well you already know this stuff so step up your exercise. She also started to suggest some frozen meals and I said, I can't eat frozen meals, too salty. Again, she'd be best with people who drink sodas and stuff like that. I'm already doing at least 4 liters of water a day.

I'm meeting a friend tonight to walk the mall. We will do at 5 PM.

WAY TO GO!!!! Subclinical!

Dresses done all by yourself with good logical decisions!

Good luck making a ribbon sash for the dress.

Good Morning Everybody
"Clink!"

Hi CriticalMass
Like Subclinical said, make no promises, just keep a positive attitude. (((hug)))

Hi Subclinical
YEA! for dropped off case wrap!

WTG! making dinner!
Makes it worth it when it is appreciated.

Wishing you a pleasant non-hectic day.

Hi Tatoulia
WTG! grabbing that repair man and sending him in the right direction!!!

Good luck filling up those bags.

Your iced tea sounds refreshing.
Lately I have just been juicing 2 lemons and adding that to a gallon of water.
Not really lemonade because I don't add any sweetener.

As long as the first nutritionist helps you establish a healthy balanced eating plan following strict guidelines for your health issues, it would be worth it.
You seemed to enjoy eating the recommended foods.
If we don't enjoy the food, we don't eat it.


Last day of Spring...
I feel good about all the deep Spring cleaning I have done this week.
Today I will just water trees & lilacs and wash dishes.
My neck was stiff causing a headache this morning but the highly caffeinated tea and ibuprofen is helping.

Cleaning all the edges and behind furniture I found NO bugs or evidence there had been any.
Around here it is not uncommon to find things like black widow spiders, scorpions or other nasty critters in homes.
A very good reason not to have any clutter for them to hide in.
I always check my shoes for scorpions before sticking my feet in them and often find Scooter has put his toys in them.


OK, Summer is upon us...
Lets list a few of our goals, plans and dreams for the season.

Hooray for a working dryer!

I am working on my closet again. I did dresses all by myself. I kept four that are too small (one is just a tiny bit too small and dh had picked it for a date a couple of weeks ago, but I felt squished in it.) The other three are sentimental, high quality, and look great on me when they fit. But that will be ten pounds from now. I found four to get rid of. And I have 13 that fit. Some seasonal colors, and different levels of dressy and warm, except two that are completely interchangeable, but I couldn't pick. They will both be too big and drapey if I lose ten pounds, so meanwhile, they can wear out more slowly. There is one dress that I literally only wear for Christmas parties, but I love it for that, so I can wear it every year and never have to make a decision about what to wear.

I think I need a white belt because one dress has lost it's self belt and nothing I have works. Belts are $2 at goodwill, so I will start looking for one when I have finished going through my closet. Or maybe I will go through my sewing/ ribbon stash and make a belt.

Later I need to get feed.

Well, my laziness paid off (I do not recommend making this s motto, however). The dryer guy came, and left, due to confusion as to where the dryer is kept. I saw him leaving and ran out to the truck and I steered him to the laundry area and now we have a working dryer! In honor of the occasion, I've stripped my bed and I'm doing my sheets.

I am also doing my dishes and I'm going to make iced tea today. I have some nice herbal peach tea that I think I'll combine with black tea and make my first pitcher of the season!

It is garbage night so I'd like to see myself get a lot out tonight. I always have papers to shred.

Going to set up a bag for donations so I can meet my one bag challenge.

What are you doing today?

I ended up working from home today. I'm feeling sluggish. I ate poorly last night. OH THE IRONY as I'd seen nutritionist yesterday. She was a nice lady but there's a big difference between the one I paid for last year out of pocket and the one covered by insurance. I may go back to my one. Money well spent.

I can feel your frustration CM and I have been there and will be there again. I get so angry with myself. Sometimes the chaos of the stuff makes it hard to just start. I try to remember that I need to start where I am. My mind puts up obstacles.

A year ago when my friend was here, I'd said, let's work on the apt on Monday and she said, nope, we are doing it today (Friday). And with that, she changed my life. She told me to get cleaners and played the It WIll Be Healthier For Your Cat Card. So sometimes I have to say to myself, start where you are.

With that in mind, and with SubC's inspiring words, I will reduce my possessions today. I need to fill a bag. Anything can go in the bag, so long as it is filled.

As Tillie helps me to remember, the humidity makes me hate my house. And myself. And I can't have that

Good morning CM, I hope you are still feeling centered and calm.

Promises can be bad because they can set us up to fail. A positive attitude can be more helpful.

Does your roommate reclutter areas with her stuff when you clean yours off?

Try to think about where things will go before you bring them home (I know that doesn't always work - my meditation bowl is still sitting on the counter in my old kitchen. That counter is a dumping ground.)

Tillie, I am smiling at the thought of you in clean, fresh spaces.

I made dinner last night. Dh was very appreciative. I think I will do some baking or cheesemaking today. I need to make a feed run, and I also want to stop at the farmer's market.

I stopped at the grocery yesterday and dropped off the case wrap. It was just in my car for two days!

I'm calmer now. Not going to make definitive promises about tomorrow, but I will try to go slow and stay centered.

Frustration with this living situation is at the root of a lot, and frustration with my phobias and other mental health crap that have made jobs so intimidating. Else I would've already gotten one, if I could risk getting off disability, or known how to juggle a part time one so the Medicaid QMB help wouldn't be taken away, making me have to earn an equivalent amount just to get to the starting point. And if I could earn enough, rent a house or decent sized apartment.

The sewing table isn't even mine. It's supposed to be shared. And when the other is a former child from a hoarded impoverished home, and though she tries, she too keeps a ton of stuff... it's just hard to make a space functional.

Okay, no more self pity. Just venting the last bit. Deep breath. Calm. We'll see how it goes.

Good Evening everyone

Hi CriticalMass
Summer begins at the end of this week.
There are so many temptations out there when the weather is warm and dry.
Bazaars, rummage sales, tag sales, the fairs, outdoor concerts, swimming, picnics, baseball games, etc.
I want you to get out and have wonderful experiences.
I want you to eat sweet fruit and listen to music.


Hi Tatoulia
(((HUG)))

Hi Subclinical
I like hearing about what you bring home and your plans for the items.
And when you go to the food bank it's such a relief when you report bringing home just what you two can eat and you aren't trying to save too much from going to waste.


Watered the garden & grass this evening.
Tomorrow need to water the trees and lilacs.
I am very tired.
But my livingroom area is so clean!

CM, reading SubC ?s advice is giving me strength I won't dilute it by adding my own two cents. We are here for you and we can do this. We are so strong together.

Hi CM!

It is always so good to see you here!

Except for the whisks, I just window shopped. The thing was, they had bags and bags and bags of fabric scraps. Ten, twenty times what I have in my basement. $5 a bag. So, if I didn't have fabric scraps, I could go down there and buy a $5 bag when I had project to work on. It was sobering.

So, I am going to ask you to do something - take a deep breath and think about what you actually NEED, right now.

The churches will all have sales next year. And there will probably be more barbies. Why do you collect the barbies? Be honest because we will not judge you. I am an over collector of dolls and I love them, and I have multiples of a couple of dolls, that were cheap, and I thought I would keep the best accessories of each on the best doll, but then, they were used, so their faces/hair weren't exactly the same....

But I think you are wanting to make clothes for them. And if you don't stop collecting, at least for a while, you won't get to the sewing part.

I'm assuming you paid for your pile and brought it home?

If not, I would suggest not buying books for someone else. Take just enough money for your wellie and your cds and go help.

Or, if yes, either take no money and just go help, or stay home. If you stay home, you can put on your cds of favorite hymns and work on making a space to sew doll clothes.

When you are not feeling strong is not a time to put yourself in the way of temptation.

You can have 100 morebarbies if you want them. But not today. Today you want space in your room. Today you want to put that Barbie money aside for the next bill, so that when it comes, you can pay it easily. Or for your first and last month rent on your own place. If you add to it every time you are tempted to shop, it will add up fast.

Go to your storage area. Immerse yourself in your treasures and make discoveries there. You can do this. We are with you. Write our names on your hand, or on a slip of paper and rubber band it to your wallet.

I tell you guys every single thing I bring home (except consumables) knowing I am going to have to tell you about a thing has helped me make better decisions. Let us help you.

Hi

At the library using my tablet on the wifi. Was on my laptop at home earlier, so I don't know as I want to go through logging in and adjusting settings on a regular computer; doubt if I'll be here long.

Plumbing got snaked today. The church sent out a text saying they needed help with the garage sale but when I got there they were hurrying to finish up. One gal said that message meant the need help help tomorrow. There was a link in the text, which may have explained that, but not having a smartphone I couldn't click on it.

I saw lots of stuff I wanted to look at. I'll be honest, my ADD hoarder brain makes me act and feel like an 8-year-old in situations like that. Other "church ladies" are so mature, so task oriented and focused. Then I start feeling old feelings of being weird among peers, then telling myself I don't care, I'll always be too quirky but that's just how I am. Self acceptance may not be bad, but sometimes I then feel guilty because my attempts to help are rather awkward and inefficient. Ack. 😦

Here's the deal: I made a small stack - books for a girlfriend, one doll that might be a Wellie Wishers (they are pricey), and a couple of CDs of favorite hymns. But I saw bags of Barbies. Should have just grabbed them - about 3 dolls per bag and I only want 1 or 2 individuals, so I could buy then rebag and re-donate. Well, it may not happen as the sale starts at 7:00 a.m. I will get there to help but probs not that early...

Further complicating matters, at least in my silly head, is the fact that two other nearby churches are having their sales starting tomorrow! And they have good stuff usually.

I'm not feeling that strong against temptation.
That pathetic addiction to the dopamine rush of "the hunt" when it is rewarded by a "find" - intermittent reinforcement, just like the slot machines in Vegas, how they hook people... It's pathetic. But I'm not gonna lie about how it's pulling at me.

Really feel like if I could make the big changes like securing my own place to live and not having so many money insecurities, these quick fixes would be easier to resist. I may be wrong, or I may be correct - no way to check at this time. Sigh. Hoping this is some summer doldrum stuff and will pass. Enough about it for now.

Tatoulia, I'm really sorry about Tigger. Great that he enjoyed a long life though.

Tillie - I had those same thoughts about my dad's DNA when we cleaned his dresser drawers etc. after he died.

Hi SubC - hope you have a good shopping trip and no regrets!

WAY TO GO!!!!
40!
Fantastic! Subclinical :D

I understand about your DH's mother.
Mine would of hated you too because she hated everybody.
She had made up her mind to never be happy, no matter what.
So she died miserable, just the way she liked it.

I'm like a MIL to Nate's wife.
We like each other and get along great.

How wonderful that thrift shop has what you may need whenever it is that you need it.


Livingroom area is ALL washed & vacuumed.
Taking a break before I polish the wood.
But otherwise it's done, except the inside of the glass enclosed display case of my secretary desk.
That's where I keep my most precious things.
Beautiful things from my Great Grandmother passed along to me by my Grandmother.
I prefer to do that on a day when I am doing nothing else and can concentrate.

Maybe tomorrow I will take the day off but I only have the hallway and the area off the livingroom between the back door & bathroom door.
Small spaces, only "clutter" is the litter box & container of litter.
My room will be done after the ceiling is fixed & that's after the roof is fixed...
Steven says he is working on that.
I don't know what he did to the roofer that was set up to fix it. >:(

Oh Tillie, I didn't see your post. I am sorry about Steven. I hope Jack eats him.

Tatoulia, I am so sorry about tigger. I think mr. kitty is confused about all the extra pets he is getting today. I can't pet your kitty, so I am petting mine. Holding you all in my thoughts. You too Tillie.

Tillie, I told my dh this morning about what I had been thinking about, and he reminded me that his mother doesn't like Anyone.

I am a mil twice over, and I think my new kids like me. I know I like them. They make my birth children happy. And they are cool people in their own rights.

I took the stuff to the thrift store. They did not have my blender, but I spent a lot of time looking around. They have completely redone everything since I was last there, and it is amazing. So much more stuff and better selection and prices than goodwill! I think knowing I could shop there will help me thin out - picture frames for example. I have boxes of picture frames in the basement, but they had two aisles of them that were varied and nice. Bags of fabric for only a few dollars. They had some shaped tube baking pans that I have been saving since dd's 12 birthday (10 years) for only a dollar each. I thought about buying some new shapes. Then I thought about getting rid of the ones I have. We'll see.

I did buy a package of 3 whisks because my big one is bent and often dirty when I want to use it. I don't know if I will keep all 3. But I tossed six headbands in the bag right before I left, so up to 40 net!

Giggling....
Thank you for that story.

Many times I have been laying on the floor having passed out from the pain or still unconscious from a convulsion and Steven just says mean degrading things and steps over me.
He has never helped me.

Then he complains when I act as if I really don't care about his health issues because I really do NOT care.

My kitties were always right there with me.
Poohkie would lick the end of my nose until I came to.

Tillie you are so sweet. We are going in on Monday. BF isn't ready. But I'm pretty sure Tigger is. Bf called a little while ago to say we will be bringing him back on Monday. I was just reassuring and told him that I'll support him no matter what. But he's a good man with integrity and compassion and I know he'll do what's best for the kitty. I don't need to struggle with him. I need him to get used to it and he will.

I'm sorry to bring up the flood of emotions. And I grateful for your support.

Leaving for dr soon. I'm pretty excited to get my health together.

SubC i always likes my friend's mothers. They are so comforting and interesting. I'm grateful that a girlfriend at work is so kind and loving to my mother. In fact, she's inviting us over for tea to see her new place. This friend just blended into my life so easily. I'm a bit older but only by maybe two or three years. She went to mom's Christmas party with me and she corresponds with my mom.

Mother in laws must be very tricky. My BF's mother is gone, she went after we met but before we started dating. One old, old BF's parents were so good to me. I'd been in Europe and contracted a parasite and they took care of me. I stayed in their house and the mom made me old fashioned homemade chicken broth and she was so kind. I think the BF was traveling or something and anyway he would've made for a lousy caretaker. I would've been better off alone. He really made my life hell. Bringing me home from the ER. I remember it so vividly. There was a 24 hour pharmacy, Phillips, at the foot of Charles Street. I'd been at Massachusetts General Hospital and I was so sick. He picked me up and I needed Imodium and something else, maybe a prescription of some sort. I was sitting in the car and it was the middle of the night. I was desperately ill and had a fever, etc and I was missing the IV fluids which had been so soothing in keeping me hydrated. And this idiot kept coming back to the car to ask me questions (liquid or pills, extra strength or regular, etc, each question a separate trip to the car) and I couldn't understand why he was prolonging my misery and then it hit me. He didn't want anyone in the pharmacy to think he had diarrhea. That's cool, because I ended up pooping my pants right in front of him. He deserved that. My concierge (I lived in a concierge building on Beacon Hill) likely did not deserve to witness it.

Oh the hilarity. Forgive my digression. There's lots more to that story but I'll leave it right there. Anyway his parents took care of me and nursed me back to health. A girlfriend bought me diapers so I could make the trip out to Lexington to their house.

Hi Subclinical
That's exactly what I wanted to know.
I expected you to be flooded with memories and bad thoughts.
PLEASE be extra kind to yourself.
And yes, that is all on your DH's mom, it's nothing about you. (((HUG)))

Tatoulia
what you wrote brought all my grief to the surface.
This is such a hard time for you & BF.
You are doing the right thing for Tigger.
But DAMN!, it's hard, not for Tigger but for you both.
(((((HUGS)))))

the rainbow bridge

Please tell Tigger I love him.

Thanks for looking at my pictures! I appreciate it! I'll get a front view for you today. Bear in mind they need a chance to grow! The first few weeks are the hardest! Those are my steps!

Oh I couldn't believe it when she set those next to me. She's a bit of a pill. She finds out someone's dieting and she turns it on High. So I keep to myself but she's obviously noticed that I've lost weight. If I don't eat something, she goes on about how it's low in calories, or how I have to treat myself even once, etc. I've tried saying, oh I'd rather treat myself when I'm out with BF or treating myself ?once' got me into this situation but I've found it best to say nothing. So I didn't eat any of the food that day and she started to explain something about the food to me and I said, I have to go find Maria and I left. It's easier. And I couldn't say anything about the treats being moved from the kitchen and to the spot next to me. If I said something, then she would've won. So I said nothing and I let them sit there. Jerk move. I wasn't mad, I was in a state of shock.

SubC you are doing hard work!! You'll feel the relief. Sometimes when I'm clearing and making decisions and it is hard and frustrating and upsetting, my inner mean girl says, this is what you get for abusing stuff. So I have to chase her away my chasing away the stuff.

I am getting much better on fighting the "but I loved that" knee-jerk reaction. What's actually more painful is admitting that I never loved something.

I didn't get my evening walk in last night. It got too late, even for me. Even BF said it was too late. Today I'll walk partially to hospital then all the way home. This evening I have a lecture at an auction house (free) that is in the opposite direction of the hospital. On the way home I can go in the mall and walk around. It will be early so there will be people to navigate but that's okay. A step is a step.

Tillie the kitty doesn't seem to mind it when I smell like other cats. She's very compliant with things like that. Even if I've been on a trip, she's always happy to see me. I think she lacks the confidence to be standoffish.

I will do a load of delicates today, there's no resolution on the dryer that I know of. I hang my delicates (wish they were hanging in Tillie's yard!).

Bf just called. We have to put Tigger to sleep. He's asked me to make a vet appt to get the vet's opinion. I'll make it for Monday so it will give him time to adjust. He's never had an old cat before and he had an old cat. I'll adjust over the next few days, too.

I would have eaten all the goodies.

The flowers are lovely! I like seeing your steps too, I am imagining you turning up them to come home.

Speaking of steps - 12 flights is amazing! Good luck with the nutritionist.

Tillie, the hangers won't leave until the friend comes over - probably in two weeks. They have been in the basement ever since dd2's clothes got too big for them, because I didn't know what to do with plastic hangers.

Nothing about this is relaxing. I am working from deep storage out, so everything gets messy and churned. Mostly I notice how the available storage space is shrinking much faster than the pile of stuff. The stuff gets harder and harder instead of easier. I am being flooded with memories and sometimes thoughts I don't like.

Sometimes insights too. Yesterday I took a mental trip with my best friend since college, I remembered the semester I lived with his parents (now deceased). I loved his mom so much. And I was remembering the easy, comfortable conversations we used to have, and I realized, Moms liked me. My friends' moms liked me, my dates' moms liked me. The mom of the guy I dated in high school still asks about me and sends greetings when she sees my mom around town and reminds my mom how much she liked me (she loves her daughter in law, she just liked me too.) moms liked me. Dh mom has never liked me. That is her deal, not mine.

My donate bin is full, so I am thinking I will take a shower and drive down to donate it today. It will be good to get the shelf gone too.

I am going to go into the shop. I need an electric hand mixer for school.

Good Evening

Saw a photo of a beautiful flower box.
But that other photo is torture!
I want to fix a plate with one of everything!!! ;D

Hi Tatoulia

Does Miss Kitty sniff you when you come home after baby sitting?
WAY TO GO! for getting in all that walking!


Hi Subclinical
FANTASTIC! progress in the basement!!!


WAY TO GO! for 37 items total!
And a bag of plastic hangers too?
You and Tatoulia both did great with excess hangers this week.

So, how does it feel?
Are you relaxing into all the newness of your spaces?



If I still feel alright tomorrow I will start on the deep cleaning in the livingroom area.
Washing everything removes more trace DNA than just dusting and vacuuming.
Cleaning baseboards removes any last remaining fur.

How nice to see everyone's newsy posts!

SubC that is good advice about not bringing $ to the sale. Now that I don't carry a credit card (I do, but it has a very low limit and I use it for groceries, exclusively, AND only when I don't have cash. It has eliminated my need to buy sh&t. It really has. The one with the big limit is currently in a drawer in my office. Not even available to me. And I've deleted it from my amazon acct. This is helping me immeasurably. Well, it's probably measurable.

Tillie very sad to lose the traces of your dear cats. I can smell the Murphy oil soap from here and it is a lovely, fresh feeling.

SubC once again you are doing amazing work. Such an inspiration.

Cm I am so envious of your thought to take a look at the pipe! I am not handy in those ways. I hope it can be fixed soon and with minimal disruption to you, your roommate and your wallet.

Work was pretty good today. Oh! I posted a picture of one of my flower boxes.

Now I'm at my neighbors and I have a cat sprawled over me. I am in heaven.

Spoke with my dr today and he feels things are going okay for now. I see the nutritionist tmr.

So humid today. Grey, rainy and humid. I'm still going to go walk. I have to, my body needs it. I did walk to and from office today, then midday I walked around the building. I also walked up and down 12 flights at work. Every bit helps.

Good evening!

Tatoulia, i'm Glad you are sleeping better.

Tillie, nice job on the dining room! I know it is hard, but It is better to remember your friends with positive memories than the mess they left behind.

CM, sorry about your pipes!

About the sale - I would like to gently suggest that you leave all of your money at home. It may be hard if you miss out on something you would really like to have, but right now it is probably better. I have been there. Eventually I had to stop even looking at eBay and other doll opportunities, because it was just to hard.

I know you will get to the point where you can make clothes again, and we will all be so excited for you! Try to keep that in the front if your mind when you are tempted.

I made some progress on the dishes today and am pretty much caught up on the washer and dryer. I remade the guest bed with clean sheets.

I worked in the basement as well. I now have a clear space between the cabinets and the folding table that is wider than the table. Under the table is filled with empty bins and contain ears, and on top of the table is covered with things I took out of the cupboards and have not put back yet.

I found a mixing bowl, a cookie cutter, three sets of language tapes, 8 books, a plate, a vase, and a radio that can go.

Total is now 37.

And dd's best friend wants my grocery bag if plastic children's hangers for her daughters.