Pigs and purses lol My struggle. I feel like this book needs to be illustrated, or maybe one of the pop up variety.

Day Eight - I need to go to the grocery store because we have a store coming. I put it off yesterday and don't feel like dealing with public interaction today either. Still. I must.

I have some bags still in my car that need to be dropped off for donation. Perhaps if they are still open I can do this on my way to the grocery store.

I also plan to write a few cards to send to friends and family. I have to send that Rhinestone pig to my friend who asked for it. I have maple candies and syrup to send to my brother's family and my parents from our recent trip to Canada. I also have some items I am returning to friends that I'd like to be brave enough to send.

Wishing everyone strength today!

done

I'll set it up in a little bit.

I'm going to do some selected copy/paste because I want your own voice in the initial post too.

Dave, great idea for our thrift store recovery. I think looking at the feelings pre and post thrift store outings would be interesting. So happy we have our agreement for this week, hope I can make it through an outing with a craft friend tomorrow. I think she just has one errand then tea time. I think thrift store honest talk is the next step for me after going public with the hoard, being honest about thrift store shopping and discovering reasons behind it, would help in recovery. I read an article in newspaper tonight about brain chemistry changing when we addictivly do pleasurable things more dopamine is released. Genetically dopamine released when doing survival things. I could relate to that, I see myself as needing thrift stores to have stuff as good as other people. I actually feel like bargains have helped me survive. Sure do appreciate discussing this with you Dave.

Jess,

A title for your book

Pigs and Purses, My Journey Through Hoarding.

Karl,
Does your roommate actually have someone with money in hand ready to move in next week?

If not, would that give you any position for negotiating a one month extension for the current arrangement?

Or alternatively, what's the worst that would happen if you gave in and paid half for one month to give yourself a tiny bit more breathing room?

My thoughts:

A thread under how to help a hoarder?

Title: WE LOVE THRIFT STORES! HELP WANTED.

Sub title: Thrift stores in the life of a hoarder.

First post - by diane and Dave.

We are in the middle of a week of abstaining from thrift store shopping. We'd love to hear your thrift store stories. Not just about some spiffy "score", but: What's their importance in your life? How have they facilitated your hoarding? What attracts you to them? What happens to the stuff you buy there? What have you done to change your behavior in or about thrift stores?

Sorry you're not feeling well, Roxie! Hopefully you got some solid rest and it will do you good.

diane - Great job today! Sounds like you are really tackling a lot :) Also, I love that you noticed your tasks for today were a bunch of things you really dislike. I think it's important to figure out what catches us up so we can assign tasks differently or learn new ways to do the things we struggle with. I'm very impressed with you, lady!

Tillie - I felt so bad reading about your food situation with your hoarder. Thank you for sharing that. I cleaned my fridge out after reading what you wrote. Your struggles with your hoarder help remind me to be aware of the space I am taking from my husband. We both live here and are both affected by each other's actions and inaction.

Dianne - Thank you! I had my spin with the vacuum. Gotta make your own fun, right? lol Lately I've been really working on rephrasing things in general to sound more positive. Just now instead of lugging my heavy blankets all the way to the laundry facility across the street I "got to make some fresh clean snuggly bedding!" haha! The toe stubbing and stepping over and around things is so not something I am missing. I go in that room and instinctively start tip toeing even though it's clear now. So much better (and safer!).

Dave - I really dig your quotes today. I tend to keep things that other people might want or find a use for. Why?? When it becomes a burden and lessens our quality of life and the functionality of our homes... well the cost is too high. I am not a warehouse.

This is so long already, I'm sorry! I cleaned the kitchen, made dinner and then cleaned up after that. I washed some bedding, vacuumed, and organized the little kitchen closet! Lots of great stuff and some of that was a part of my weekly task. Feeling good!

Bills paid, why is it so difficult to do things I don't like, like this pile of papers? Well here goes-----papers away.

Got the papers done for taxes, made me very anxious dealing with them, not perfect but good enough. Took wringer out of washing machine and let me tell you, it was not an easy job with a toothbrush getting all the crap out. Decided to clean the metal moving parts that had never been clean and the inside of agitator, what a mess. I felt disgusted and tired after those two jobs so got on computer to pay bills and I "accidently"pushed this site anything to put off bills and pile of paper and floor. I noticed I listed jobs today of all things I dislike immensely. I think it is more reasonable to do only 2 things I dislike per day...Ok off to pay bills, my favorite on list, then pile of papers, then maybe floor.

Dennis the Menace cartoon from Karl.

"I know its good for nothing but I'm saving it until it's good for something."

I'm not getting back in the garage like I need to, using the cold as one excuse. But a question I was working on this morning:
When it's good for something to somebody but not necessarily good for something for me. Matt, and Cory, and Brooks Palmer will tell me that it is not my job to warehouse for others. That that item is clutter for me.

Brooks Palmer in his blog "You're able to let go of clutter because of the strength inside of you." And that's what I need to carry out to the garage to some of these items.

Long way to say good for you, I think you are using some self created CBT to force your mind into some new thought patterns and then paying attention to the emotional responses and not automatically responding to them with automatic behaviors.

Thanks for the reminder Dave, so important to find flashlight when electricity off even for temporary repairs. Need home for flashlights just like tools. Easier to throw away old plastic bags. Today thought it would be good to throw away something that still has a use, just to see I will live after throwing out a useful item (I will still have enough)

Minimum of 5!!

One for beside the bed that can move around and sometimes get lost.

A small one that is ALWAYS or ALWAYS IMMEDIATELY RETURNED to a specific location which you can walk to in the dark and reach to with your hand in the dark. This will let you find other flashlights, bulbs and batteries if the power goes out.

A smaller one- like single AA or AAA or LED penlight that you can grab for a toiletry kit if you need to travel.

A 6V lantern for the basement.

A 6V lantern for the garage.

6V lanterns for each vehicle are also nice-but cold weather tends to have gotten the batteries when you need them.

A small box of spare batteries for the flashlights you use. (The spare 6V battery has to go somewhere else.)

Spare light bulbs. Walmart has them. They have come out with an LED bulb for the 6V lanterns. More expensive but nice.

When you take your 6V lantern up to the garage attic to investigate your 20 year old hoard of insulation, leave it on while you go back down to get a mask and tools and then go into "Scooter Mode", you may come back a day later to find the lantern itself, rather than just the bulb, burned out with a nice electrical smell. (I don't know if that's a fire hazard.) We won't talk about how I know that. :)

A hoarder I know says you can never have too many plastic bags. I wouldn't go quite that far with flashlights, but .... :)

Well it is already 11am, and have only done a couple of things. Today I will pay bills, finish cleaning off a pile of papers. Get papers ready for tax appt. on Friday. This morning I washed some old wool stuff in hot water to shrink it for crafts, dried and hanging to finish drying. Want to put all that away when dry and clean washer, wool really messed it up. I usually put wool in pillow cases, today I did not,so wool was free to shed in washer, well today I am paying the consequences of taking a shortcut. When I filled the washer with boiling water, spilled some on floor and wiping it up, saw how dirty floor is by door, and want to put it on my to do list, but don't want to do it.
So here goes: clean entire kitchen floor today, but it is so dirty, do it anyway.
Jess good to hear you, Tillie told me to leave more emotional items like purses, until later, and do more important things like kitchen and living areas.
Roxie, good you got supplies, and plan to get garbage out in time.
Diane so good to hear what you are grateful every day.
Tillie you handle your challenges with such grace. Would it be possible to coddle steven and make a list of his food to "help" him remember since you want to help him since brain problems. He could possibly fall for it, and meet your needs for only fresh food, without all the excess. Just a strategy to consider, you know if it would work or not.
clean kitchen floor
papers for taxes
clean washing machine
file or toss pile of papers
pay bills
afraid of failing, so don't usually post lists, really want to change so I am doing what is suggested, thanks to all of you and especially
tillie

Diane,
curious, garage roof, is the underneath problem rafters or underlayment?

Good morning :)

Storm blowing in today. Not a good day to play outside.
The cats will be pouting. :(
Need to do a bit of cleaning up inside today.
I don't want to but I will do it just to get it over & done with. :P
Today is trash pick up day and the stuff is all out at the road.
In order to keep my Hoarder from buying more food since he already has the fridge/freezer stuffed with his food, I have not been going to the grocery store to buy my food.
Only fresh food I have left is two grapefruit and one over ripe banana.
Planning to force him to handle and look at all his food tonight so he might remember that he doesn't need to buy any more when I have him drive me to the grocery store.
When at the store he always forgets what he already has and feels that he needs to buy a lot, as if soon there will be no more food in the store.
If the stores run out of food we have bigger problems than not having enough crackers in the house.

So Wonderful reading all your posts.
WAY TO GO!!! for ALL you have accomplished and for the hard thinking and decision making you all have been doing. :D

LOL I really thought about making some more soup. It's been battle enough to get him to drink water and eat some crackers. Hope he gets over this quickly, poor guy.

I'll be honest, I didn't go through my purses last night. Today instead of getting tripped up on that I'm trying to attend to more pressing tasks, like cleaning up the kitchen. I started a load of dishes and I've got a couple things to wash that can't go in the dishwasher.

Day Seven - I'd like to finish up in the kitchen, organize the small kitchen closet, and take the vacuum for a spin.

For whatever reason I don't want to do the purses. I'll try to get back to them soon. I think what may be more important is not letting everything else pile up until that one task is finished. I'll come back to it.

Dove will eat cracked corn with Quail.

Sick Husband,

Probably didn't want to ask, but wants more home made chicken soup!

Day Six. Go to work, take care of sick husband, go through purses and only keep what I use and what is in good condition.

Dianne you are so kind, love reading how you think, hopefully I can learn to be kinder through observing your thinking.
Last night when I drove home, it was so foggy, visibility questionable, woke up to thick frozen fog, was to burn off by noon, well it is 2:30 and still frozen fog, it is up to 32 degrees so maybe will burn off, with wind chill it feels like 23, so only went out for a minute. Getting up at 5am instead of 7am, wasn't the brightest idea, but really wanted to get started on kitchen, but now pooped. Played with glue gun for over an hour, now resting, listening to music and realized it is freezing in here so now fire is going. Looked online at small stick built houses, was frustrated at all permits this city requires. My boss is really encouraging me to replace this old trailer so have a safer place to live and less maintenance. Well until I get rid of my hoard totally, I can't even think about the process without getting anxious and stomach upset, which is why I am laying down resting right now. I find myself wanting to please her rather than looking at what is best for me at this stage in recovery. I feel so much better after writing this, once again I am reminded to do what is best and least stressful for me, while I finish getting rid of hoard. It would be great to have a clean small new house, but as long as I have too much stuff, it would be a mess. Very difficult to tell her it is too soon. She really wants my life to be great, but as you know, until the hoard is gone and behaviors are changed, we will recreate a mess. Until I am free of my thrift store addiction, for more months, I would be fearful of messing place up. There is some comfort in this old trailer, have lived here for years, and has a lot of cute areas, that I would miss, like the wood stove with brick wall and pedestal, which were nicely done, the opposite wall is nice old barn wood. Guess I love the unique artistic things in here, and feel I can enjoy it for a few more years. The garage roof is the urgent need. Online it said you need a building permit if you remove old shingles and put new underlayment on, if you just add another layer of roofing, do not need permit, if no more than 3 layers of roofing. I checked and there are only 2 layers on it now, so I have been scheming ways I can replace the rotten wood underneath some areas and just top off the two layers. Permits here are one thing, but you have to pay inspectors by the hour when they visit and they always come up with reasons you have to add support to areas, and this poor old garage would need all new support. I really wanted to hire someone to do it, but reading online, found that a licensed roofer has to report unsound supports, so guess I will be the roofer in residence. Looking at all that I wrote, I say, who cares, hahahah, I care, and am happy I am getting clarity on the steps to take to make areas liveable. I am behind on returning phone calls, will make at least one as soon as I sign off here.
Ok this is the last chapter of my daily saga

This site is so great to learn grown up skills!!! Many of us have stunted our growth with the hoard and procrastination. It is so great to hear problem solving techniques. When I don't like something or someone, my tendency is to leave situation, but to hang in here knowing I need this site to become free of hoarding, makes me open to learning some basic people skills. Instead of acting like a 10 year old and throwing a fit, and leaving, and saying it isn't worth trying anymore, no one else is trying, it is really time try on some big girl panties, and focus on steps I need to take to complete my journey to get rid of junk and connect with people in a loving way. If people just want to make excuses why they can't, it has to be ok, and not waste my time on them, focus on my progress and those on here that really want to take responsibility for their crap and not blame others.
Today I have already spent 3 hours cleaning kitchen, dishes, stove, made a pot of soup and now taking a break. I am so happy I have the desire to clean back. Did not want to do dishes past several days, did a little then quit, today I did not want to, started and did not quit until all were done. Took dishes out of refrigerator with bits of food, tossed food, washed dishes. There were cups on deck, in several rooms, all clean now. Such a relief to have them done and soup on stove.
Roxie, so insightful
Tillie, great fun imagining your adventure.
Dianne, you are doing great hanging in.
Karl, thank goodness you are starting to look
Jess, you inspire me, thanks
A day of cleaning and take time to return calls from friends. Thank you all for continuing, even when you don't want to.

Good morning :)

Wonderful to hear from all of you. :D

WAY TO GO!!! for all you have accomplished!!! :D

Today I need to do some cleaning here since I took yesterday off.
Last night I lost my white girl kitty again in the carport.
She was out there till 10:30 and was not very white when I got her back inside.
She is just fine and happy, silly girl. :)

Off to look for adventure in the day. Hope you have fun adventures today too. :)

Since this is an interactive help website where you can ask questions and get answers and support,
everyone should feel free to to post their thoughts and suggestions.
The person recieving the suggestions is also free to consider the help offered or reject it.
Since we don't know if people want suggestions or if they just want to talk or if what we suggest would even be possible not fully knowing their situations
it is up to them to politely explain more so that we can better understand.
When Cory makes a suggestion for me to try something, I always give it a try.
I may have to tweek it a little to fit my situation, but I do not abandon it, and putting all the suggestions together has made a difference here.

The greatest thing about this site is that we can come here, post out hearts out and receive emotional support.
Just sharing with others who understand our struggles helps lift the weight and gives me hope.

Lump is not cancer, so I am relieved and appreciate this site that I can talk about scarey things and get support. A huge thanks to Tillie for all of the support and direction I get.
Tomorrow I plan to get back to maintenance. It was great reading your post, about not feeling like doing it and doing it anyway. Most of what I have accomplished, I did not feel like doing and did it anyway.
I have given myself some down time during these months of stress, and today I feel like that excuse is gone and it is time to make my life better, believe me I am grateful my grief over mollys death is tolerable now, and I have running water again, and no leaks, and that for now I can focus on getting things organized and paired down, and not focus on emergency situations. This week there will be no thrift store shopping, since that is my addiction that makes my life miserable. No matter how cheap, it is not a bargain if it clutters my life.

I did accomplish my daily task of cleaning the bathrooms. It was sort of like going to the gym. I didn't feel like doing it, I almost didn't do it, I sucked it up and got it over with and then I felt really good :D

ooooops, it posted twice, not sure why, Dianne, sorry you are pooped today, good day to lay low and enjoy animals? You do so much every day.
Tillie, so happy you are taking the day off from the board and playing with your new gems.
Hope all of you get the most out of your day.
Today I worked in yard, took shower, washed hair, one load of laundry, hung, one more drainer of dishes, back to finish dishes now, then to Bend to mammogram.

Roxie, thanks for your post, warmed my soul. I woke up frustrated with myself and my bad behavior in chat last night. I seem to interpret what people saying, as things that they want help solving. I work hard at solving their problems then get pissed when they make an excuse for every suggestions. A gal that used to be on here did that too, after I spent hours thinking of ways to solve her problems, I finally said, you may just have to make the best of ;your situation since it sounds like you don't really want to change. I admit I am codependent and would much rather solve other peoples problems than dealing with mine. Today I finally realized people may just want to talk and don't want to change, and it is none of my business. If someone continues to procrastinate and I suggest they can get more help from procrastinators anonymous than this site, and they don't want to change, I must just let it go. That is why I wanted timed chat, 15 minutes, because I know they just want to talk about it and not change, but then when they take time after chat to rehash the same stuff I can sign off rather than get pissed. I am sorry I did not realize this sooner and plan to just observe this coming Sunday and not offer suggestions at all. I realize I am like a dog with a good bone, do not want to let go until a person sees it through my eyes, even when they are comfortable in misery. I know that feeling and need to work on my own crap, not theirs. Please forgive me. I will continue to listen intently what ever is on the chatters mind, will not offer suggestions.

Roxie, thanks for your post, warmed my soul. I woke up frustrated with myself and my bad behavior in chat last night. I seem to interpret what people saying, as things that they want help solving. I work hard at solving their problems then get pissed when they make an excuse for every suggestions. A gal that used to be on here did that too, after I spent hours thinking of ways to solve her problems, I finally said, you may just have to make the best of ;your situation since it sounds like you don't really want to change. I admit I am codependent and would much rather solve other peoples problems than dealing with mine. Today I finally realized people may just want to talk and don't want to change, and it is none of my business. If someone continues to procrastinate and I suggest they can get more help from procrastinators anonymous than this site, and they don't want to change, I must just let it go. That is why I wanted timed chat, 15 minutes, because I know they just want to talk about it and not change, but then when they take time after chat to rehash the same stuff I can sign off rather than get pissed. I am sorry I did not realize this sooner and plan to just observe this coming Sunday and not offer suggestions at all. I realize I am like a dog with a good bone, do not want to let go until a person sees it through my eyes, even when they are comfortable in misery. I know that feeling and need to work on my own crap, not theirs. Please forgive me. I will continue to listen intently what ever is on the chatters mind, will not offer suggestions.

Lots of hugs for Dave, Mrs. Dave, Tillie and Dianne. And of course everyone else reading. I'm thinking of you all today as I struggle to get moving.

I have a lot that I could work on. I tend to get very caught up in what to do first. My strategy for dealing with it is to come here and type and it will come to me...

So I guess the priority is cleaning the two bathrooms. I've been working a great deal on decluttering and I think I should take today to focus on general cleaning. After that I'm going to go through the cabinets in both to see if there are any toiletries that can be tossed out.

Feeling incredibly axious today. Trying to remind myself that crawling back into bed might help me avoid some bad feelings but it will bring on new ones, like guilt for getting nothing done. Not having nice clean bathrooms. Losing my streak of accomplishing my daily tasks. Breathe and focus!

Good morning everybody :D

So wonderful to read all your postings.

Yesterday after I vented my little hissy fit
I went outside and drug over two large empty trash cans to the carport area.
Grabbed up everything that I saw that was garbage/trash and filled the two cans. Took less than ten minutes.
He heard me out there and got off his computer, checked out what I had tossed and only removed a few things.
Then he got busy and filled a third trash can with garbage and also topped off the two cans I had filled.
He also filled 1/2 the truck with stuff he wants to donate and some other stuff to sell at the pawn shop.
While he was doing that I fired up two burn barrels and started burning some old tree branches and a lot of his cardboard boxes that had spent the winter outside and could no longer be good for anything.
He also handed me some other stuff for me to burn for him.
This did not accomplish a lot but at least it was some progress in the right direction.
Mostly, he saw how serious I am about him doing something about cleaning up around here.
I have no hope that he will continue on his own and I know it's up to him to decide what to keep or toss but I just had to get him moving.
He also dug out all that food he had stuffed into the fridge and tossed a lot since it had rotted sitting in there for all these weeks.

Today I am happy! :D
Taking the day off and going to play.
Have a GREAT fresh new week everyone. :D