God and "my plans"

One thing that has helped me on certain days lately (and that will help me more, I believe, if I do it more consistently), is to make plans for the day (whether they are decluttering plans or other types of plans). Then I acknowledge to God (to "a Higher Power," if it's more palatable to you to use that terminology) that my plans may not be God's plans for me for that day. I try to think in terms of making plans, but at the same time holding them "loosely." That's not to say that I want to go with every whim that hits me that might throw off my plans; that's something I have done in the past, and it often prevents me from making clutter progress. Neither do I want to go with every inclination to drop everything and run "fix" someone else's problem. That's gotten me into more trouble than almost anything else in the past: spending inordinate amounts of time, physical energy, and mental energy dwelling on and trying to fix other people's problems. That can be an "addiction" in and of itself. I need not try to "play God" in other people's lives, thinking that I have the power to fix their problems, that I alone am "their savior."

So when I say "holding my plans loosely," what do I mean? One thing it means is that if things don't work out as I planned, I don't have to jump and scream inwardly because things didn't go my way. I keep in mind that my plans might not have been God's plans for me, and I can be more inwardly at peace about the day instead of being resentful that things didn't go the way I wanted them to. I can feel like I am more "in the flow of life." I can be open to God's plans for me.

Shifting to this way of thinking is a slow process. First, just making specific plans for the day that include specific decluttering plans is new in and of itself. Remembering to turn my plans over to God is not automatic at this point. But I'm making progress.

Diane, I'm glad to hear you say, "giving up is not the answer,.." It can get very frustrating (understatement) when we look at what still needs to be done. Sometimes we don't really appreciate or even recognize all the progress we have made.

I relate to the ADHD struggles and to many of the other things you mentioned. Thank you for sharing your struggles.

You know, when we share our struggles, it can help us. But sharing our struggles often helps others as well. For instance, this morning, I started on a certain task that I originally intended to spend just a short time on (working on my floors). Once I was "rolling" with it, I wanted to keep going. (Sometimes to continue with a task longer than planned is OK and even good, but today, for me it would not have been the best thing.) Precisely because I had read about your "roof" story and had reflected yesterday about my tendency to do that same type of thing, I was able to recognize the behavior in myself today. I was able to stop that "floors" task and move onto the next thing I'd planned to do. So again, thanks for sharing. If you hadn't shared that, I might not have gotten some of the other things done that I did.

Many years ago we had a neighbor who had been crippled on one side from a stroke. One day I looked out the w indow and saw him working hard on potting some plants. I made a comment about how difficult it was and what he couldn't do. Mrs Dave immediately corrected me, saying that the issue was not what he couldn't do, but what he could do and how much he was accomplishing.

Thanks Tillie for reminding me, hoarding is just one part of me, and that I deserve love and respect. I have been on here a year now, and still am not done, so have given up and been feeling a little hopeless. My ADHD has me jumping from project to project and not putting things away. I find lots of things to do, but when nothing gets finished, looks like I have made no progress at all. When I realized last Sunday was my one year anniversary, I decided not to go to group, cause I felt like a loser, working so hard for a year and lots of mess still.
I did get through all the pants, and only ones I can currently wear are in closet now. I worked on removing years of build up on part of the roof all last week, like a mad woman, from early morning until dark, and neglected everything else. I have all spring/summer to do that. still all or nothing for me. I am frustrated. I was feeling frustrated with others that can't "find the time" to do essential things. Then felt bad that I was so opinionated, then continued to find fault with my progress. today I reread your posts and realize your encouragement is essential to me getting back on track. Giving up is not the answer, as much as I want to recently.

You may have trouble with getting and keeping too much stuff and/or with getting the trash out and/or doing the usual house cleaning
BUT, you are all so much more than that.
The hoarding, cluttering & squalor is just one tiny little bit of the whole person that every one of you are.
You are a whole person deserving love and respect. (((HUGS)))

I am glad we have a spot on here for spirituality.


One spiritual thought that I see some of you posting on here that is very important (but is hard for some of us to grasp at first) is that we are each valuable just as we are. I do not want to keep living with all the "stuff" I have in the past, but the changes won't happen overnight. Many of us have told ourselves a lot of negative things about ourselves through the years (and if we didn't, perhaps many others have said negative things to and about us). We may have come to see ourselves as "less than," or perhaps even "not valuable at all."

If the day comes when I have a clutter-free life, I may be able to function much better, but I won't be any more or less "valuable" than I am right now. I'm saying that as much to myself as I am to anyone else. trying to remind myself of that.

I think a beautiful example of this is one of my relatives. She was a hoarder all her life. (Runs in my family.) She didn't "want to" be like that, but she was. Now she is nearing 80, is in a highly specialized nursing facility, and can communicate only with gestures and with whispers (has a ventilator). And she is so deeply loved by me and so many people. I feel her love for me. We have a special bond, and I love to go visit her. We still "have fun," despite communication barriers. I will miss her terribly the day she leaves this earth (if that day comes before I myself leave this earth).

My relationship with her helps remind me of the truth of the things I wrote in the first paragraph. She is still a beautiful human being, hoarding and all. It reminds me that of all the things I need to discard, one of the most important things I need to throw away is the idea that I am "less than" because I have hoarding issues.

Thanks Darci and Dianne, such a powerful post. If I believe God is guiding me and wants me to be happy, and that love in action is sharing my stuff with others. Why do I clench onto my excess stuff? Because my faith is that my stuff will make me safe, what if I truly understood that Loving God and loving people is what gives me joy, safety and comfort. My writing isn't as precise as yours, just wanted to let you know how much I appreciate what you have written and that it touched me deeply.

Diane: these are the words that really got me: I am actually going to write them down in my clean up journal.
where is my integrity if I speak of love and taking care of others while tightly holding on to the things that could be shared? Where is the trust in God that I keep professing to myself when I first turn to my material over-comforts and live with worry that I must keep everything?

Dianne, once again your words have really hit home with me about God and holding onto things that could help others. I have to remember your words when I feel my hands clenching something my heart doesn't want to let go of. Powerful thoughts you shared, thanks so much!

Preparation for surgery is a partial decluttering experience. They take all your physical stuff. No Binky. No Blankie. No Bear (or other friend of choice). (Although I might have been allowed a warm blanket for my feet.) They don't even allow plastic bags which leaves one terribly unprepared for the eventualities of life; such as springing up from the operating table saying "Excuse me, I'm a hoarder and I need these, while grabbing the surgical tools". :) However, they miss something ..