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Hoarding Help Message Boards : The Daily Chat : Personal Care
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Personal Care
   

Dianne
Posted: 23 April 2013 - 03:00 PM
At first I was afraid of this thread. Now I'm glad you started it Tillie.

I must trust you guys because I am telling you stuff I hide from my shrink. Thank you all, for supporting each other so well!!

I didn't wake up til 2:00 pm today. Of course it didn't help that I didn't go to bed until 3:00 am. I had a terrible headache and very vivid dreams. That usually means there are underlying issues I don't want to face.

I feel like there are lots of different people in me. One is the perfectionist (Tillie you hit the nail on the head about the floor washing). One is the little girl who loved finally getting all the pretty sparkly stuff she wanted as a kid and filled her castle to overflowing. One is the rich bitch who got decked out in huge diamonds, designer clothes, flawless makeup. One is Martha Stewart who loved being the perfect hostess and did all the work herself. One is the little girl who needed to prove to everyone she wasn't such a dummy after all. One is the original hippie that adored all things of the earth. One is the rebellious outcast who protested wars. One is the stoner, beach party girl who could really hold her alcohol until she couldn't anymore. And lots more.

The closet one to my heart is the natural hippie. My hair has always been long too and my daughters. Waist length, braided and we could do styles if we wanted. It's funny ~ my daughter Buffy sort of went the fancier way. She was a co-captain for the Washington Redskins for years and in the contract they had to be photo ready at all times in case someone recognized them and took pics. Laura went the other way ~ no make-up at all, long hair always in a ponytail, clothes worn for comfort.

Ah but I ramble when I am trying to figure things out.....

So reading diane's post about keeping only what looks good on her ~ and not just reading somebody's advice in a book, but somebody who is actually doing it ~ is making me think.

I can rationalize all I want but staying doggy is a way to put up another wall. To avoid people who might hurt me. Sure I get bit, scratched, kicked but that heals. Those people wounds; those suckers leave something worse than physical scars.

I do miss being pretty, not being embarrassed about how I smell. I don't miss at all having to dress to the nines (what the hell does that mean anyway?) to feel comfortable in a snotty group.

When I had to take care of Anna when Buffy and Jakey were in Minnesota I took daily showers, wore just a little make-up, wore my hair down (it's just past shoulders now)and dressed nicely. I didn't want Buffy's friends and the kids' teachers to think the mom/grandma was pig of the world. And when JP (Buffy's husband) was home he is a total clean freak so I had to stay good around him.

There are too many things swirling in my head. You guys are gonna make me face some things and make some changes I'm afraid.

I guess I can work on being cleaner.
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Tillie
Posted: 23 April 2013 - 11:46 AM
I hate make up and experimented with it when I was in junior high school.
Decided that I hate it so much that I refuse to do that any more. Ever.

I have never colored or permed my hair.
Keep it at waist length. Sometimes loose, sometimes in a bun but mostly in one braid down the back.

Grew up with being allowed only one whole bath & shampoo a week.
With nightly washing up at the sink before bed.

I will wear the same clothes the next day if I didn't do anything in them to get them dirty.

Here is a little secret about me.
Everything I learned about home making and personal hygeine I learned from my Grandmother who learned from her Mother.
My Grandmother grew up in the woods, far away from civilization. No electricity or indoor plumbing. No car, only horses. We are Ojibwe. :)

Her stories were much better than Laura Ingles Wilders stories. :D

She taught me how to live with what we have at hand and to keep close to the earth.
Keeping my self clean was taking care of my health. Skin needs to be washed regularly to keep it healthy.
Clothes and linens touch our skin so they need to be kept clean too.

All those fancy expensive grooming and cleaning products are not necessary.
We can do a great job with just the basics.

Doing the basics keep us healthy. Prevents infections and other issues.
Before antibiotics came about simple infections killed many people.

Now days we have super bugs that antibiotics can't cure.
Our skin is a shield against bacteria and the healthier it is the healthier we can be.
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diane
Posted: 23 April 2013 - 08:38 AM
thanks MayMay and Dianne, helpful reading how and why you do and don't do basic self care. When I was 23, I showered daily, lipstick and mascara daily. Now that people don't see me daily, I have let it slide, and there is comfort in wearing clothes I slept in, yikes, that sounds gross. Yes it is true, I will wear the same clothes to sleeep in and get up and wear them up to 4 days. Hey, that explains why I dont' want to, try on pants, would have to change my routine of leaving the same clothes on for days. Writing this, I see the insanity of having more than 50 pairs of pants, when I wear so few. Thanks everyone
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MayMay
Posted: 23 April 2013 - 01:07 AM
I love taking showers and baths. :)

I take a shower 2 times a day; and every Friday I always take a nice long bath. :)

I've never really been into wearing perfume. But I do love body lotions. My favorite store is actually "Bath & Body Works". I've also never really liked wearing a lot of make-up either. For some reason every time I put on a lot of make-up, all I want to do is immediately take it off. Plus people always tell me that I look younger without make-up. Like sometimes when people who aren't "regulars" come into the bar that I work at, they'll ask me if I'm even old enough to work there; because I look so young without make-up. I'm 23. But sometimes when I'm not wearing make-up, I'll be mistaken for a 17 year old or an 18 year old.
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Dianne
Posted: 22 April 2013 - 11:19 PM
When I decided to devote my time doing animal care without dealing much with people I deliberately decided to stop wearing my daily perfume, deodorant, hair spray and mouthwash.

The dog pack was getting out of control and I needed to establish myself as alpha again. Having my natural scent seems to help with them paying attention to me. When I'm out other dogs like in Petsmart will cluster around me. Wearing my *dog clothes* lets me do whatever I need to physically with them and not worry about getting dirty.

Working with a dog who's been abused or who has a behavior problem seems to go better if I seem more like them. That goes for my behavior too. Body postures, non-verbal cues. Don't want to gross anybody out here but sometimes I have a dog take food from my mouth. It establishes trust and the dog sees me as a provider and leader. So he can trust me to defend him as he's learning to fit in. The first thing the dogs do to greet me is check my mouth and lick. Having a *natural mouth* for me is a way to bond.

Even the cats greet me with the mouth checks. I also taught them to take food gently from my mouth. Being able to smell dogs all over me seems to reassure them that we all live together and the dogs aren't such foreign creatures.

All that being said it is very easy to just live like an animal most of the time. It gets to be a drag if I have to get cleaned up and be with people.

When I had to deal with people daily I did everything like a normal person. And I know I can take better care of myself without having to do the whole perfume, make-up, outfit look. I have to find a balance between dog/cat/horse woman and my Kennedy Center best.

Part deliberate, part depression, part laziness, part comfort ~ whatever the reasons I'm going to try and do some basic personal care regularly.
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Tillie
Posted: 22 April 2013 - 07:13 PM
Lets start working on the basics.

Hoarding, illnesses and depression all cause us to neglect the basics.

Getting into a routine takes paying daily attention to doing the basics. Soon they will become good habits that we do routinely without having to think much about it or force ourselves to do.

In the morning we should always brush our teeth.
This freshens our mouths and allows us to smile freely without worry.

Brushing our hair is something to do for ourselves because it improves our self esteem.

After I am finished drinking my morning tea I brush my teeth.

Every morning I get my hair brush and start brushing my hair.
But when my little girl cat sees me with my brush she cries and cries until I put down my brush and pick up her brush and brush her first.
Then I can get back to brushing and braiding my hair. :)
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diane
Posted: 22 April 2013 - 01:19 PM
does that mean I should brush my hair daily? Ok, usually brush it but never take time to style it anymore. Have a cowlick in back so have bedhead that looks like I did some spins on the back of my head before getting up. I often go days without shower and stopped doing daily face washing even, except when I am going to be seen by others. Wow, I didn't realize how badly I treat myself, yikes. Helped reading about not brushing teeth for a week. I used to brush am and pm. Now just pm, and have to talk my self into that, reading the weekly, made me realize I will be there too if I don't start the am pm and part of my self care. I will start by brushing teeth twice a day and tackling back of my hair daily even if only my dog sees it. I could easily go on, but will stop here and go brush head and teeth. Thanks so much for starting this, I really didn't know this was part of letting things go as get deeper into hoarding.
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Tillie
Posted: 22 April 2013 - 11:19 AM
From reading around I see that everyone has decide to take the first steps. :)

Make those appointments with your doctors.
Get those new glasses.

This is a great start and we can use this thread to discuss other ways we should be taking care of ourselves.

Even things like manicures, pedicures, hair care and other pampering are important to our over all wellbeing. :D
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