This is going to sound very cold because I am only looking at the practical aspects of the situation.

Is it set up legally so that you inherit the house if he dies?
How do you (Tillie) get medical care now?
When you say "we" have savings, is that in both names, his, or yours?
You are not legally married if I recall correctly?

Hello SubC

I own one half of the property, Steven owns one half, no mortgage or liens.

He is "looking into" things
concerning services/benefits.
His pension would only pay one quarter of what he made per paycheck.

The biggest thing is the health insurance he received from his state job.
It is necessary.
He takes a million pills and needs regular Dr. appts.


He is not talking to me or answering any of my questions.
He seems to be oblivious of the situation.
He actually went thrift shop shopping this morning!
He doesn't seem to understand that he needs to strictly budget now.

I told him to go to the food bank and get some food but he refuses.
The food bank gives food to anybody, you don't need to even be needy.

We have some savings but they will not last long especially buying health insurance and prescription meds.

Oh Tillie.

I don't know what to say or how to help.

Can you reach out to the people around you? Look into social services? Who owns your house?

Hello

My life has been turned completely upside down.
An actual S.H.T.F. scenario.
An unending unrelenting panic attack compounded with severe depression.

Too hard to explain since my brain is in a whirl with worry.

Steven quit his job...

My heart is melting.

D❤️Gs got home from his dad's today and his mom showed him what I did with his room. He said "wow! She must love me a lot!" I told her to tell him he is correct.

Motown, i'm not planning a dumpster - just regular trash service. I cancelled it almost two years ago. He kept a garbage can in the shop though, which is now full because he won't listen to me about what to throw away or not, and he puts things in it that make it difficult (dirty, unsafe) for me to sort it out. A few things are just too big.

We have stuff in the yard like a small stack of pipe sections and broken plastic flowerpots. We don't have anywhere near 72 cans of trash! Just some broken stuff that won't recycle or fit in a grocery bag.

I'm sorry you feel that way about your grandchildren. I wish that it would be fun for you to spend time with them - for all of you. But if you only have one day of vacation, I think you should spend it on something you will enjoy.

It is good to be back able to check in with y'all occasionally to stay inspired. I, too, think the dumpster service is a great idea--and, pun-intended, a truly CLUTTER FREE gift! Hubby and I are not exchanging gifts this year. He never has gotten me anything and I usually go overboard to get him everything I think he might like and he really doesn't care. So I'm saving money this year by just skipping him altogether. Best case scenario is that he will be expecting something and not get it so he can be a little disappointed (some of his own medicine as the saying goes).

Anyway, I am contemplating taking a day off work between now and the end of the year (have vacation hours to use or lose) but not sure when to do it--before or after Christmas. I could do before and we could visit with his brother or I could do it after and clean some in the house (but the kids will be home so I won't really want to be around them--they are always in the way).

Guess I will throw a dart at a calendar!

Hi Subclinical

I believe the trash service would be a great way to make a really huge difference in the shortest amount of time.
Then after your property is all tidied up
you can go back to your usual ways of disposing of trash.

About the quality socks...
you have scrimped & saved & sacrificed all these years because you wanted to have money to spend on all of your children's needs.
Now it's good for you to have the nice quality socks and shoes for your own needs.
ENJOY them.

I would love to have six inches of snow!

Mostly what we get here is rain.

There is some snow on the ground now, but it is melting. We get overnight lows in the high twenties, and then it gets just above freezing and rains all day. The goat paddock has six inches of bootsucking mud with strategically placed rocks. I just know that one morning i'm going to go out, slip on a thin coating of ice on a rock, and land in the muck.

I ordered myself some very fancy warm socks. A lot of my everyday socks are getting holes in them and dh told me to go ahead and get three pairs of the really good ones. I'm kind of in sticker shock because I don't spend much money on myself, and for socks?! And I already got brand new shoes this year.

But I need to get more into the mindset of having a few really nice things. If opportunities to get a deal show up, that's great (and I did really well on my thrift store discount day work jeans!) but I need to not go overboard. One pair of $20 natural fiber socks that is warm and comfortable and will last two or three years worn often is better than 10 pairs of basically plastic $2 socks that are less warm and will also last two or three years - worn far less often and layered and still not warm enough.

Dh and I are not doing Christmas presents for each other, so I can think of them as my Christmas present :).

Actually, I am thinking about getting him a Christmas present - i'm thinking about signing up for three months (minimum requirement) of trash service for some post construction/deep cleaning clear out. It's a hard choice for me, but after working at d❤️Dd's House, I think I may be ready to accept some additional contributions to the landfill in return for order and time. It's six can a week service, so it would be up to 72 cans of garbage! 😳

So far only have six inches of snow.
But it's the kind that's wet and heavy and makes the best snowperson.


The rule to prevent having an overabundance of items, AKA clutter,
is for every one thing you bring in new to your home
you must then get rid of one thing you already have.

When starting from a point where there is too much stuff already in the home
the rule then becomes to release 2-3-5 or more items for every one new item brought in.

SubC, Good idea on the donate in order to go purchase. I am planning to keep the mattress just for throwing down as an extra sleeping place for kiddos or something. There is that bag of cookbooks in my car still so I will take that next time. Plus I am still keeping a box in my bedroom that things can be thrown into when I run across them. So far there is a shirt, a small saucepan, a hat and one other thing (can't remember right now). So when it is full I will drop it off. Maybe I should get a bigger box and make it a goal to fill it to "earn" a trip to shop!

Hi Motown!

That is a lot to change all at once. Be prepared to forgive yourself and just start again if you drop the ball on some of it. Maybe pick the one most important part to focus on doing it every day.

Also - there is a really cool craft themed store here that takes donations. I had to make a rule that I can only go there when I have something to donate. You could try a rule like that for goodwill - you could take the folding frame mattress on your next trip.

Good Morning Everyone

Hi Motown
Keep working with "Buried In Treasures" and it will help you achieve your goals.

Hi Tatoulia
Anybody willing to help find "the right Jeans" is a saint.

Hi Subclinical
Wonderful questions and advice.

Gently snowed all day yesterday and plans to continue doing so today.
Had over a dozen Robins frolicking in my garden.

SubC, glad to hear your support. How is your issue working out with the daughter and grandson and the great purge? I know you were exhausted but that kind of results had to have been exhilarating at the same time. I hope that she can maintain for the boy's sake at least.

SubC and everyone else,
I have decided to go to Goodwill Sunday dollar day only once a month beginning in January (unless my mom wants to go which is usually the reason we go--she's 90 and I try to do what she wants). I have great ambitions for the coming year and lots of changes I hope to implement. Sunday afternoons (that I don't shop Goodwill) will be used for meal planning, food prepping ahead for the week's meals, getting everyone's schedules together so we are all on the same page for which kid needs to be where and when and with what, and to have the week's wardrobe chosen and ready to don in the mornings complete with having it steamed/dewrinkled and with accessories chosen. My daughter will help me with putting together different outfits that I probably wouldn't think of. I've been doing better about getting it out of the closet if it doesn't fit or isn't something I can be comfortable in at work all day.

Lofty ambitions, huh? I also plan to use a planner which I have never done. AND, get this, BUDGET!!! Also, which I have never done successfully. I am taking money out of savings and putting in my checking account today so that I can start the year with all the bills caught up and maybe stay on an even keel in the coming year.

Anyone have thoughts on my plans or advice? I am definitely open to suggestions or things to keep in mind. I know that it will take dedication but what I have been doing hasn't worked so I'm willing to give it good effort at least. All the whil still decluttering slowly and letting go of things. I just took apart a fold-away bed that we had bought for granddaughter to sleep on but it kept folding up with her in it! LOL! So she has been sleeping on a futon instead. So I rolled up the mattress and put it in a bag in the shed and sent the frame/springs to the scrap metal place with hubby. Just got about 4 square feet of space in my house!!!

Oh, and I forgot to mention that I hope to sit down to a movie or at least a television program for 2 hours a month. That's my goal anyway.

Tatoulia, good luck with the jeans shopping.

Motown, enjoy the book!

I am also very anti-waste. I cancelled my trash service 22 months ago because it was a hassle and I produce so little trash that it was a waste of money (now I throw my little plastic grocery bag away at the gas station or grocery cart return)

But here is the thing - buying stuff you don't need is also wasteful. It wastes your time shopping, and your money, and it keeps the widget away from someone who does need it so that more widgets have to be created to fill their needs.

If you obtain only the clothes you need (or want and will wear) and wear them until they are not wearable anymore, you reduce your costs and your storage needs, and there are no big bags to donate (except to goodwill which recycles unwearable clothing for use in other products such as paper or stuffing)

How many days in a row do you think you can stay out of goodwill? Can you skip dollar day? What would you like to do with that time instead of shopping and waiting in line?

Motown! Great to hear from you! We count every success here!

I loved all the talk about my jeans falling down. I asked a woman at work today to take me Jean shopping in January and she will. I would rather go bathing suit shopping than jean shopping. There are too many styles and sizes and too much to cope with. This one co worker of mine has take. Me jean shopping twice before so she's been through it when I've gotten frustrated and upset. And she's great. I must try and and show her so then she can adjust what she is looking for in a jean for me. She didn't believe me the first time we went that I get really upset but she believes it now.

I'm tired. Back in office again tmr AM. Two days in a row. Plus I have a meeting at 9 and I'm really not a 9:00 person. Isn't this pathetic? I'm a professional yet cannot find my way in to the office.

Also, I just discovered that I can download and read the book Buried in Treasures! I have started the first chapter and I can already tell that it is going to hit home with me. My mom and dad grew up during the depression and those learned behaviors have stuck on me as well. Hubby and I are both recyclers and frugal with resources. If I were able to have a yard sale it would help my house as well as my (especially Christmastime) budget. However, no one comes to my sales and I just end up disappointed. So that's why I tried donating several garbage bags of clothing to a nearby church clothes closet only to find that the bags were left outside (probably still there) because the caretaker broke her arm and can't process them through. I have mentioned how disheartening this information was to hear.

So, I at least packed away two boxes of pants and jeans that are just slightly too small for me. (like one size or 10-20 pounds). Unfortunately they are still in those boxes in my bathroom but at least they are out of the closet!


And I mentioned going to goodwill several times lately. I didn't buy any clothes for myself! This is huge for me.

YES,

You can definitely celebrate it as a success! It's not just one strand of lights, it's thinking about your behavior and making a good decision instead of just following your usual habits without examining them. It's a big step!

Thank you so much SubC. I do find lots of encouragement here. And by buying all replacement lights I didn't necessarily replacing 100 strands of lights. Just going to let everything ride for awhile and not be afraid to open new packages when I need lights rather than feeling like I had to have a replacement set of new lights before I open the new lights I already have. Yes, I do sometimes feel like that. In order to use something or open it I have to already have to have it's replacement. Plus, if I "use up" some lights and throw away the bad ones maybe I can consolidate some of the boxes of Christmas things and have one fewer box in the shed! Win/win and hubby will be glad. It's a huge chore for him when I send him to the shed to look for something although I can typically describe the exact box and contents and what is on the label etc.
This is kind of like the one thing at a time that y'all talk about isn't it. Just not going out and buying a bunch of lights because one strand failed is one small thing but I guess I can celebrate it as a success?

Motown, Christmas lights are not "used up" if they still work. Get them out, figure out what you need, get rid of any that don't work or are dangerous, and then only buy more if you need them.

Realizing that you don't need all those back ups comes later in the journey.

Trying to stay out of goodwill comes first. But Good job cutting down!

We don't so much do forgiveness as understanding. We understand where you are coming from and where you are, and we try to help you understand the impact of your decisions on YOU.

we celebrate your successes too!

Someone mentioned me doing a drive-by. Well this is going to be a high-speed drive-by. Just read the posts since I have been on here. Too much to process. Still can't keep up with who's who. I used to be a blonde! LOL!

Anyway, I do have the "need" to have spares of everything and a spare spare if I can. I have the one functioning coffeepot on the counter used daily (multiple times) and then only one in the laundry area in a spot just waiting to be needed, you know. in the event....


So my son asked to get a few Christmas lights to put on his tree (prelit but they aren't working this year) and I have sent hubby to look for some today in the shed. Figuring that I will just give them to him. It's about time to buy all new anyway. We probably have well over 100 strands of lights out there, probably half of them new in the box. So, going to try to use them all up and then get replacements for them all on the day after Christmas!

I went to Goodwill only 3 times last week. Most I spent was about $25.00. That's a good total for me since I was spending upwards of $75 a week in there. BUT THINGS ARE ONLY A DOLLAR ON SUNDAY!!!!!

So gotta run. I may be posting several short snippets today as I get a few minutes here and there. Asking forgiveness in advance. Maybe I will read and post directly to y'all's posts and not just so randomly. Nah, who am I kidding. I will never be anything but random! LOL!

Motown

Predawn? Astronomically, it's still twilight.

We take a deep breath and we do what we can.

D❤️Dd was so proud of herself yesterday - she's been making her bed every morning and she found the rest of the pillow cases.

Her laundry room is still messy, but she finished off 80% of the laundry so far.

She gave me another big bag for goodwill, and I finished off most of d❤️Gs room (there is one very big box of unsorted toys/toy parts in his closet)

I also took a banker's box of recycling with me (we are now sorting out the recycling because she has one can trash collection and one can recycling. I have no trash and community dumpster recycling.)

D❤️Gs has been told he can have a friend come spend the night if he wants (never happened before).

Today I ordered his Christmas present and made plans for him to spend the day with me in a couple of weeks.

I was figuring if Tatoulias jeans are actually falling off, they are already two sizes too small.

Good Morning Everybody

Hi Subclinical

WTG! for not keeping old light strands around for Justin Case.
Good Idea storing replacement bulbs on the wire to keep them easy to find.
So sorry things don't look promising. (((hug)))


Woke up this morning to a sparkly white Wonder wonderland.
The snow is still gently falling.
The sun has not come up yet, what do you call the
twilight of the morning"?
There are some little kitty foot prints in the snow and some other tiny prints too.

I was thinking that since Tatoulia is losing weight quickly that she should wait to get new clothes until her current clothes are two or three or more sizes too large.
Or else she will be having to buy new clothes every other week. ;)

WTG, Tatoulia!

Maybe you need to treat yourself to a new pair of jeans?

Tillie, I have one old strand of lights that is my "replacement bulbs" when a bulb burns out on another strand, I pull a bulb out of the partly empty strand and replace it. I was going to just pull the bulbs out last year, but it is easier to find them still in the strand. When it is empty, I will throw it away.

I am tired. Things are not looking hopeful on the family front, and I hate that there is nothing I can do.

Hope Miss Kitty doesn't do what Scooter did and pull out the steel wool to allow her friends in. :D

Very happy you saw the doctor today.
A pound a week!!! WTG!!! :D
And you have been doing this in a healthy way.
You should have no problem tasting your cake creations and not worrying about calories.

To keep your jeans up
try wearing a belt or suspenders.
Hate thinking of you flashing your underwear.
LOL ;D

Glad you got the steel wool in that hole.
That is such an easy fix to keep mice out.

There is a mouse? in Steven's bedroom.
Scooter says so and so do the other two boys.
The access to the bathtub plumbing is in his closet.
Scooter has been spending hours staring into the closet.

I moved a heap of Steven's clothing out of there and an autoharp and a bunch of other stuff to clear the way for Scooter to really get in there.
Plus I refreshed the cotton balls that I keep in there with peppermint oil.
Last time, Scooter told me it was in the chest of drawers and he said sometimes it is behind Twinkle's litter box.

Scooter is not a very good mouser but I give him an E for effort. ;)

The plumbing access cover could be fixed to prevent this but that would involve Steven being motivated to fix it.
He is still not motivated to do anything about the carport roof that's collapsing.
Oh well...

Well it sounds like you and your cat did a lot of laundry today!!

I did go to dr and he was great. First he said that he didn't recognize me because of all the weight I'd lost. So charming. He was very supportive on stomach issue and a few others and all around it was great. He was great. We made a quick adjustment on meds and he wants me to stay the course. He's thrilled that I'm losing a pound a week.

I got some steel wool and stuffed it in the wall. I'll need help moving my desk so I can get it done a little better. I walked home from dr and then met up with BF, who was at the bank. I went to the pharmacy to get my meds then we hung out for a while.

Fingers crossed that your laptop is fixed. Oh kitty cat is fascinated by the steel wool, which isn't stuffed completely into the hole.

Will write more tmr. Did a few quick loads of laundry today. My only two pairs of jeans are falling off of me. Literally. I even put in dryer with no real change in the fit. I wore a dress to dr but changed into jeans. Actually I changed into pjs while I cooked dinner then BF and I ran a few errands so I had to get dressed again. There were washed this AM and are falling off. THIS IS SO GREAT FOR ME!

Hey Motown and CM, we would love a quick drive- by!!

Good late afternoon early evening
4:00pm here.

Hi Subclinical
Bet your home smells wonderful!

Lights on the tree are necessary.
Just as long as you don't keep any stray strands of lights that have seen better days around.
Steven has an obsession about buying lights at the thrift shop, must have hundreds of strands by now.
We don't decorate... ;P

Hi Tatoulia
So, did you go to the doctor today?
If so, did you mention your recent complaint?

Working in a surgical office I was always amazed by how many delicious treats patients would give us this time of year.
The other people working there were always having me give them lessons in "chocolate reading"
because I knew the codes/differences in what would be inside each bonbon. ;)


Spent the whole day working on fixing my laptop computer.
Took hours to do this. :(
Think I have fixed it but we shall see...

Last evening I washed all the laundry and hung it out this morning.
The stuff immediately froze solid soon as I got it hung at 8:15am.
But by 3:00pm it had thawed and dried even though the high today was 37 degrees.
The rest of the week there is rain/snow possible.

The hardest part about hanging out laundry is Jack (you're not my cat) rubbing around on my ankles and flopping down right where I might accidently step on him.

Oh I bet the tree looks beautiful! Congratulations on a nice big tree!

I have dr today. Stomach a bit better. I already had the appt scheduled. I couldn't get the blood work done in advance. The two days I could go, the orders weren't in. Such is life. It was becoming terribly inconvenient for me with have to make so many calls for the blood work. M
Doing a load of laundry. All Christmas shopping done (just boxes of nice chocolates for service people like dry cleaner and help desk at work, etc.). Good to have this done.

Good morning!

My tree is in the stand with the lights on. It is a very big tree. The biggest one they had at our cut your own place - 11'! It reaches into the vaulted ceiling of the addition. My parents have a two story living room with a balcony, and we always had a very tall tree (the cut your own farm sold them to dad for $5 because nobody wanted them. One year we cut one right next to the owner's house because it was blocking the windows and annoying his wife. Dad insisted on speaking to the wife before we cut.) so, the big tree is a really big deal for me.

And there is plenty of room for it!

Any ornaments I don't get on the tree this year should probably go, but i'm Not sure I can do that. We'll see how it turns out. I may keep hanging different ornaments different years.

Anyway, I started this story to report that we bought three more strings of lights.

And Tatoulia, I hope you feel better.

Take it easy.
Just rest and get better (((HUG)))

So to answer your question right now I'm happy with what I'm getting rid of. I should switch to concentrate on being happy with what I've kept.

Feeling very sick. Just had juice.

Ooh we are busy today! Tillie I am still nauseated today but I need more than juice and toast. I'll see what I can try to eat. Maybe plain pasta.

I am fine with saying goodbye to the things. Fine. If I didn't have such a headache and a queasy stomach I'd do some more today.

SubC that is great news about your weight I probably have 30 to go. No rush on my end. I look fantastic now. And most of my rings fit and my watches fit. If in 20 pounds I decide I'm done then I'll be done. I'll just see how it goes.

I'm afraid I have to go lay down. I'll have a sip of juice first. Not feeling well.

Hi Subclinical

YEA! for the tree!
WAY TO GO! on the weight loss!

I need to do another "no added sugar" challenge myself.
I felt so much better when I did that before.
But with severe depression about my kitty I resorted to self medicating with sweets.

Tatoulia
You posted while I was composing.
I start writing then have to keep getting up to answer the cat's demands or adjust the heat, etc. and also today to stop the toilet from running, will fix that issue later.
So anyways... it takes a while before I'm finished with my posts. ;P

I am all for people taking medication as long as the doctor is responsibly prescribing and the patient is responsibly following directions and the medication is working as it should, no side effects.

How are you feeling about the tchotchke/knickknack decluttering?
Hope when you look at what you are keeping you have a good very happy content feeling. (((hug)))

Today the sun is shining, the sky is bright blue and cloudless.
But it's very cold. High today will be 37 degrees.
The snow was washed away by some rain last evening. :(
Planning to wash my hair today to get the smoke smell from the burn barrel out of it.
But not yet, still too cold in the house 62 degrees.

I have plenty of weight to spare. I could happily lose another 12 lbs. I have been dropping very slowly and intentionally, and am now finally to wanting to lose less than ten percent of my weight, so that is a good thing I guess.

Yay for your new mixer!

My tree is in the stand and waiting to be decorated.

Good Morning Everybody

Hi Anonymoniker
Hi CriticalMass
Hi Motown

Hi Tatoulia
Well, I guess that settles that about the hand mixer.
Hope you own a good solid spoon. ;D
Wishing you all better by now. (((HUG)))


Subclinical
We are all so very proud of you for everything you have been doing.
How wonderful that you had the needed items and were able to put them to such good use all because you decluttered in your own home.
What really impressed me is you had the right frame of mind to do all that hard work clearing out their home knowing that you could not rescue everything.
Relax and enjoy getting the tree today and hopefully a nice lunch out.
You have really earned a day off. (((HUG)))

Hello and good morning!

I loved your description of the snow, Tillie. You painted a beautiful picture.

I am feeling better, SubC, thank you. I too have been losing weight. I can't remember if you have any weight to spare so I hope the 2 lb loss is good and not bad!

I'm now down 24 since I started with the nutritionist. I feel great. I cannot believe that in six months I've done this without much notice. Naturally I had hoped to have lost more by now but not really. I don't look forward on the weight, I just think of food as nourishment.

MOTOWN you had previously asked regarding medications. I haven't spoken much about it but I do take antidepressant and have for a number of years. They help me sleep and make my life in general easier. We've made some adjustments over the years. I wobble between two medications; sometimes taking one, sometimes taking the other, sometimes taking both. I am perfectly satisfied taking them and yet, I do not disagree with people who are against medications of this sort. I am doing what works for me. I've tried it both ways and this is preferable for me. I generally don't tell people (not out of shame), because if someone is struggling with depression I want them to work with their doctor to find a comfortable, workable solution. I will share that I too suffer from depression and offer them hope for a brighter day.

Rainy day here. I got mom's groceries done last night. I'd like to do some laundry but think that most people will want to use the machines today. I'd like to do some decorating here today.

I put a big bag of preciousness in my car yesterday so I can take it to good will.

I have decided on which new mixer I will be getting. It is a kitchenaide with a number of attachments but still a handheld. IT HAS DOUGH HOOKS meaning I'll have to track down my friend who was with me 30 years ago when we bought the old one. I think she's in China but I'll find her. When she's in US she generally pops into my life. Last time she was here I was in an airport flying to St Louis so I didn't get to see her.

What are you doing today?

How are you feeling today Tatoulia?

I almost got caught in my own frame of reference and said that the chickens would enjoy the cake - lol!

I have lost weight this week because it has been difficult to eat. Also the adrenaline.

I am taking today to focus on myself and getting a Christmas tree with dh. I have a mess to clean up in the guest room because I pulled everything off the plastic modular shelf in the guest room closet (the shelf that I removed some games from) and took it to use in d❤️Dd's laundry room.

I also took every empty hanger in the house and a bin that got emptied when we put the dolls on the shelf.

I had things my kid needed because I have gotten rid of things!

I love you SubC. You are amazing.

I love you too Tillie. No solid foods today.

I frosted my cake (just for practice). I broke my handheld mixer. Making the stiff butter cream for piping and roses was too strong for it. I'm good with it.

I cannot serve the cake to anyone due to terrible stomach issues. It was just for practice.

One load of trash.

Kitchen and both bathrooms are clean and sanitary, but there are six contractor bags of laundry in the shower enclosure (seperate from the tub which is ready for a nice bath with d❤️Gs robe and towel on a hook beside it.

They stopped by the grocery store on the way home from practice and bought three kinds of fresh vegetables, a box of cookies, and some flowers to go on the nice clean kitchen island.

We ran the washer and dryer all day and d❤️Dd helped our boy put his clean clothes away in his dresser. She put some of hers away too, and I made her clear off her bed and put on clean sheets. She sorted out three bags of clean laundry that I dropped at goodwill on the way home and four bags of not neccessarily clean clothes that actually belong to exgf. Exgf is coming by this evening to get some of her stuff.

The bedrooms are better, but not good. We did not touch the living room.

Tomorrow they are on their own. They will be gone at a swim meet most of the day. Her priorities are keep the washer and dryer running, clean out d❤️Gs closet - which has toys thrown all over the floor on top of spilled (clean) cat litter from when his cat was a baby and had to be protected from the other cat, so it lived in his room, and deal with a pile of dirty, possibly cat peed on shoes in the corner of the living room that we couldn't handle (whose shoes are these? Can we throw them away?)

Dd1 wandered through the house repairing everything, loose, broken, or otherwise potentially hazardous. She even touched up paint in a couple of places and installed a new hanging bar in the laundry room. And she called a friend who used to do home visits for cps. The friend told us:
1) food that is safe to eat and the ability to prepare it in a safe manner.
2) a clean, safe place to sleep
3) working toilets and the ability to bathe and brush teeth

We have all that plus smoke alarms, a clear stairway to the front door, toys, books, clean clothes, and flowers in the kitchen.

Hi Tatoulia

Just because you don't vomit or get struck down with the runs
doesn't mean that it wasn't something about the food.
Your bad mood was probably a symptom of this sickness.
Our bodies know a lot more than we give them credit for.
Please drink plenty of liquids to help flush out any badness and feel 100% better soon. (((HUG)))


As I write this the wind is blowing snow sideways.
It is coming down fast and furious!
In five minutes it has covered the ground with almost an inch!!!

This morning was pleasant, no wind, scattered clouds, not very cold.
So, I went out and lit the burn barrel.
After it was finished burning and just smoldering I covered the top with the grate then placed the lid loosely on top so it would stay dry in there.

It is always amazing how quickly the weather changes in the shadow of the Sierra Nevada mountain range.
That is how the Donner party got trapped and had to resort to cannibalism.

Hello CM!! Glad to hear from you!!

Wow SubC! Great work! And I echo Tillie's remarks. Excellent work. I'm also touched that the exGF is loving and understanding and is treating the situation regarding the child in a way that shows priority and care. We all need these examples in our lives.

Great work. We support you and are proud of you.

I was in a lousy mood yesterday and then was writhing in pain last night. I thought it was food poisoning but I never actually vomited or anything else. Just writhed in pain. I had to keep texting BF because I couldn't talk and he sent me a text saying, as long as you keep texting I won't call.

I bought my wreaths today at a church sale. Had a bit of a panic when one of the windows wouldn't open but eventually got it done. I haven't yet run out to see how they look.

It's warmer and sunny today so I have my windows open. It's 42F so a good chance to air out a bit.
Tillie I love your mending tasks and your mindset as you look at your clothes. So instructive and useful. Thank you.

Hi Subclinical

I am very impressed with how you all have come together and made a good plan on how to tackle the house clearing and cleaning.
You all deserve a great big
WAY TO GO!!!

That is exactly the way a clean up should go when fighting to keep a family together in their home.

There is not the luxury of taking the time to clean & salvage unneeded items or to properly sort out recyclables.

I am confident you all will get a handle on the clothing.
Even if you just bag it all up, take it to your homes to sort it all out.

Yes, a silver lining could come out of this.
You can help her learn to have a routine of keeping her home clean.
And you also have such wonderful skills now for keeping Justin Case under control. (((HUG)))

Hi all, i'm Reading and thinking about you, but I type slowly and I need to be all about me for a little while.

The situation with d❤️Gs is getting ugly. D❤️Dd was going to meet with a lawyer on Monday. Yesterday afternoon, she was served by ex's lawyer. When she got the boy back (sick and withdrawn - I was there) He told her that while he was with her on Monday, "daddy had people come clean his whole house. And I had to clean my room".

Both of them are full blown hoarders. Ex is the "never take out the trash, buy all the gazinguses" type (cleaning his room is probably why d❤️Gs was sick) and d❤️Dd is the ptsd "buy it because it's cheap, take it because it's free, never get rid of anything because Justin Case is banging on the door" type. Both have cats, so, cat hair....

We figure d❤️Dd can expect a visit from child protective services on Monday. Last night while they were at sports practice and then dinner out with his friends, dd1, dsil, and I cleaned the kitchen, upstairs hallway, and stairs. We took out 5 giant garbage bags of trash, plus dd1 threw all of the plastic food storage containers, water bottles, etc. into three large plastic bags and just took them home with her.

We boxed up about 5 boxes of stuff that belongs to d❤️Dd's Exgf, who moved out a few months ago but is couch surfing, and put them in the damp and therefore unused basement on boards. (They are still friends and she helped raise d❤️Gs for 5 years. I spoke to her, she cried and said "just throw it in the basement. Or throw it out. Do whatever you want. None of it matters.")

Dd1 is a contractor, so I am driving the truck back today and we will fill the back with trash bags and she will dump them at a job site. We are not even slowing down to sort out recycling and we are throwing away things just because there is too much cat hair and we don't have time to clean them, and it is not bothering me at all.

But I have to say somewhere, because I feel bad for seeing any good in this, but it will be a silver lining if we can help her recover and learn to maintain her environment. I am hoping that this little boy gets at least one clean, orderly environment out if this. He needs it so much.

Also, the "office" which we were going to use for a school room is already cleaned and only slightly overcrowded and messy, because they prepped it for us to use last week - so, if we do the living room and half bath today, that will be the whole downstairs, and the upstairs is two bedrooms the hallway, and a large full bath that includes laundry. The laundry is going to be a problem, because they have enough clothes for a church rummage sale.

Good Morning Everyone

Thoroughly enjoyed reading all your posts. :D

Since Winter weather is here to stay
today my plan is to go through all my dresses since I will not be wearing any again until next Spring.
Except I might wear my fancy one if I am invited to a wedding or some such affair, but I doubt I will be.
Anyways, I check for condition.
Some may be too worn out to bother keeping.
Some may need just a tiny mending to fix.
Some may need a touch of the iron to spruce up.
I enjoy fussing with my dresses and it's hard to let go of any of them.
But being honest with myself, some will just need to say goodbye.
It will be so nice when Springtime weather comes around and I will see I have only nice dresses to wear.

I'm here!

Longer post later, but for now hi to everyone

Motown, the letting go will come easier, and I may have a few pearls of wisdom to share in that area, LOL! For now, just do what you're doing a little at a time and the rhythm will pick up.

Just been doing things to wrap up November - I got a couple small sewing projects done yesterday - the heating pad cover and the Christmas stocking for my bunny.

The cats had been doing a little better; now they seem to be regressing. Our sunporch is still fate unknown. Hope our guy isn't sick. I think roommate is going to try to get in touch with him soon, or his wife, since we know the family.

I'm going to head to the library - the downtown one where I wondered if there was something paranormal going on (eeks!) - taking my Holy Water with me! I don't want to not be able to go to that library because they have some cool stuff there.

We have bad weather coming in for the next few days, bleah. I've got some interesting ideas I may do in my room along with some ideas I've already had for the storage unit (that will be in the spring). More on everything in a later post. Stay warm, all!

Tillie, I too would have trouble packing up a kitty's things. Take your time. It's okay.

Thank you for the ideas by the wall. Scooter cracks me me, letting the "toy" in and out. I'm going to think about this tonight and make a plan for Saturday.

SubC, I remember the first time my mom asked me if I had something that she wanted. I said, proudly, nope, I got rid of holding things for no reason. Mom asking for a type of planter (no lies planters here, kitty and plants don't get along). However, if she asked me for something specific that was unique to our family, I bet I wouldn't feel proud. I'd feel defensive. Anyway she's stopped asking me for stuff although when she needed pens last week I did bring a bunch. And I made sure to throw out the ones that no longer work.

I have to finish getting ready for work.

Keep up the good fight. We can do this.

Tillie, youare still grieving. Take your time.

Motown, I have a microwave, and a coffee maker, and a hand mixer. But I also have an oven and a funnel and a spoon. So if Justin Case turns up, I am ready for him.

I also have a big shelf filled with dolls.

I gave regretted getting rid of some things, mostly because (like Tatoulia) I was the person people could always ask for stuff and I felt so good about it. There were some times when I first started that one of my kids would ask me "hey mom, do you have..." And my heart would drop because I would have to say "I got rid of it." I got rid of something my kids needed! But the kids were like "ok, no big deal." And then they startled noticing a difference in the house, and they are so proud of me!

Some things I personally regretted, but they were usually easily replaced. And the slight added cost was worth the space to work in the mean time. Even if they couldn't be replaced - I have lost far more things to damage from having too much than to mistaken decisions.

Also, what Tillie said about me being able to find things is true. And if you can't find it - you basically don't have it. The reduction in stress and wasted time has been a big change in my life.