Dianne, thank you for your reflections and I will continue to read the boards to help in the decision making. It is awfully hard to have strangers come in and I hear you having made the decision to improve your situation today though it brings stress. It is the honesty that you and the participants share that have supported me for months and encouraged me to do some clearing and unshopping.
I was able to get the awful sewer gas out ...thank goodness and pray for the clarity to make a decision about canceling or continuing with hiring help. I did get an estimate and am checking with Cory's company if it seems in the ballpark.
Roxie I was able to see some of your posts and not sure how to access the recovery stories.
Either way I go I will share my path.
Dianne
Posted: 13 May 2013 - 08:08 AM
Repair man got here at 8:00, will be here til about 3:00.
Staying calm but stress is right on edge.
Dianne
Posted: 12 May 2013 - 08:25 PM
Hi Kindred Spirit,
It's probably healthier to have someone come in and clean. But if it was easy we would have it done.
Personally I can hardly bear the thought of repair people coming in. I think I would truly have a breakdown if people came in to do a clean-up. I've resigned myself to knowing if I try and do the cleaning myself it will take years.
It depends on what you think you can handle and how immediately unhealthy your living situation is. Look for Roxie's comments. She recently had a clean-up and felt wonderful about it.
I greatly admire anyone who can do it.
take good care ~~ Dianne
Kindred spirit
Posted: 12 May 2013 - 08:01 PM
I am struggling with sewer gas because of being on septic so am doing laundry to get some water flushing the system. I am seeking some help from this board participants ....like a sounding board! I have found someone on the list of national resources who does serve my community. I am finding my self flipping between trusting them to clear my space and feeling like I need to get healthier and do as much of my own work with help from friends. The service works for 8 hrs for three days.....I can barely tolerate 2 hrs with friends. How long do we give ourselves to do the work? When is it better to let go and ask for help from professionals? Your thoughts and experiences will be appreciated.
Dianne
Posted: 12 May 2013 - 07:10 PM
Thank you so much Tillie. {{{hugs}}}
I was thinking of cancelling.
I just have to get thru this.
Tillie
Posted: 12 May 2013 - 06:48 PM
Dianne, I want you to have a working A/C so please just do it. :) (((hugs))) to help you stay strong and not cancel.
It is so much easier to work in a cool house. Plus you sleep better at night. You don't get heat exhaustion and sick and miserable. More hugs (((hugs)))
Dianne
Posted: 12 May 2013 - 05:05 PM
Diane heal quickly! Too much crosstalk is why I don't do the chats anymore. A couple weeks ago you had asked me some questions about my animals and I was trying to focus on answering you while trying to follow the other conversations. Much easier for me on the boards.
Tillie I wish I was as resourceful as you when dealing with the house maintenance. So happy you are staying cool. :)
I've been plugging away here. Getting areas clean that will make me feel better. Taking breaks with good food and watching bits of old classic movies. Drinking lots of water. Getting laundry done and put away. Am running out of room for towels so I'm setting aside a pile to donate. Other donations are loaded in car.
Trash is loaded in truck.
Tomorrow ac/heating repair. I'm not stressing yet. Trying to breathe deeply and tell myself all will be well.
Happy Mother's Day!
diane
Posted: 12 May 2013 - 04:49 PM
Hooray Tillie, so happy he did his part so you can relax in the cool. It has been hot here too, not that hot, 89 yesterday, and I was too hot, tomorrow it will be in 60's they say, hope so. see you at 5
Tillie
Posted: 12 May 2013 - 04:47 PM
Diane :( What a horrible way to start your day. Please heal fast! :(
Tillie
Posted: 12 May 2013 - 04:45 PM
I understand how dizzying trying to read so many posts posted so fast is. Then while trying to read and catch up, the page keeps jumping up, or is it jumping down? ;)
Anyways... He returned a while ago with the cooler pads and I am now sitting here with my evaporative cooler running! :D 94 degrees outside. Inside a pleasant 76 degrees.
diane
Posted: 12 May 2013 - 03:54 PM
Fun reading all the posts on here, great to see so many people involved. I started my day pouring boiling water and coffee filter full of coffee and hot water on my arm and belly. Took over an hour of cold towels for the burn to settle down, then aloe vera. I have done little else today. Yesterday I did get some things done,I am looking forward to group tonight.
I have a request. Last Sunday when it was my turn with Cory, it was very distracting when so many people were trying to help. When it is my turn, I would appreciate just hearing from Tillie and a professional, if there is one online. I know I have spoken when it is anothers turn, and will hopefully not do that tonight, after finding it so disruptive with all the comments last week.
Karl
Posted: 12 May 2013 - 02:28 PM
Dianne's story about the dog bed has motivated me.
Several months ago, I took several piles of stuff from the living room and moved them onto my bed for "temporary" storage, in anticipation of making enough space in the living room to have visitors. Since then I've been sleeping on a pad on the closet floor -- tolerable but a bit less comfortable.
Last night I moved the piles back to the living room, and finally reclaimed my bed. Progress in one room at the expense of another...
I still haven't put away the clean laundry; I think that'll be today's primary goal. If I can also go through at least one of those piles now in the living room, so much the better.
I won't be at tonight's online chat due to another commitment, but I'll probably be around on Tuesday.
Roxie
Posted: 12 May 2013 - 02:07 PM
I'm sorry, too, Karl. I don't recall your circumstances but I know that I never could have decluttered let alone cleaned without a lot of help, Do you have any money to hire help, or do you have people you could ask for help? And are you able to let others help?
One of my biggest area of clutter is that I recycle. However, I wasn't going to the recycling centers nearly enough. I had the helpers load my car up with all the bags I had ready to go. And I did recycle. Once they are in the car, I know I'll follow through. Is that sort of idea helpful?
Books and magazines can be donated to both our local library and to a thrift store. I load those into my car, too, so they are ready to go.
Today my own goal is to clear off my kitchen counters since the turmoil of getting new appliances in, plus do dishes/load the dishwasher. I haven't had a working dishwasher in 4-5 years so it takes some getting used to, the idea that I actually now have a working one!
Happy Mothers' Day to all.
Tillie
Posted: 12 May 2013 - 11:29 AM
Good morning :)
Sunday. Extremely quiet here. Even the cats are being quiet too. A few birds cheeping in the garden.
After spending over a week asking him to please remove the panels from the evaporative cooler for me so I could clean them and get the cooler up and running, he did remove them around 7:20pm last night. It was still light out so I got busy scrubbing panels and washed out the inside of the unit.
Yearly the cooler pads need to be replaced. He said he would buy them today. He has been gone over an hour and I probably won't see him again till late this afternoon.
Avoidance.
He goes to a lot of trouble to not have to deal with or think about his hoard.
Anyways... Today I will tend to the cats. Think about menu ideas. 5:00pm PST is ONLINE SUPPORT GROUP At 8:00pm PST I must watch the SURVIVOR finale. :D
Everybody have a GREAT day today even if you are not a Mother. :)
Tillie
Posted: 12 May 2013 - 10:36 AM
I'm sorry Karl. :(
Doing the clean up all by yourself, using the 15 minute plan to keep from burning out and getting discouraged is for people who can take the time because they don't have any authorities breathing down their necks threatening them.
The TV program "HOARDERS" would always feature people who had a set deadline to get decluttered. That is why they had a whole crew come in to do most all the physical labor.
Decluttering your own home all by yourself takes a very long time. Is physically, emotionally and mentally extremely hard work. Looking at every item then having to make the decision to keep it or not, and if keeping it, where does it go?
Having even just one other trusted person there helping you stay focused gets the task done quicker. They could help you declutter the average size hoarded livingroom in one week if they worked every day for 8 hours a day, taking regular breaks.
Is there anybody or any way you could hire a professional to help you do this?
Good luck and best wishes dealing with your landlords.
Karl
Posted: 11 May 2013 - 10:56 PM
Inspection Day. The landlords came over, and of course my place was still cluttered. They weren't happy.
How long would it take a single person to clean up a living room, in 15-minute increments?
Pixgrls
Posted: 11 May 2013 - 08:43 PM
@ Dianne....the packages were the hardest too because I was putting small items in some of them that were requested or that she would have wanted someone to have. I still have to tackle the rest of the notes, but now that the packages are mailed...those should be much easier. Part of what made it so hard was her photo was on just about every paper that was going into the packages, so they were all over the place. But I'm still not quite "there" with the acceptance. It's still a shock, and so much to do (my parents couldn't handle it, and my mother had just finished chemo, so I was doing the funeral plans, and legal matters afterwards). At least now though (she passed last Oct), I am able to do the notes, and will be able to tackle the contents of her apt. (she was a long time hoarder) without getting too emotional.
For today's tasks/plans....I had to run a few errands and decided to take the time to see if I could fix an annoying ebrake alarm that was constantly going off. Success!! Felt so good about fixing the car, that I checked my list of things I needed to take with me tomorrow to visit my dad with my kids, and finished that as well. Time to relax now.
Hope everyone had a good day with their goals!
Tillie
Posted: 11 May 2013 - 08:39 PM
WAY TO GO! Susan :D Sounds like you had a very good day. Happy Mother's Day to you. :D
Susan
Posted: 11 May 2013 - 07:21 PM
This morning was cleanup, laundry, dishes, grocery, then in the afternoon I had a rare hair appointment.
Why is it hard to justify taking care of ourselves, when we're so eager to take care of other creatures?
Dear husband showed me 5 videos that he suggested we give away, either to daughter coming for Mothers Day or to the library sale. Earlier I might have balked, wanting them for the 'collection' - of what? Things we already watched and won't watch again? So into the giveaway box they go.
Hope all are well and happy Mothers Day!
Tillie
Posted: 11 May 2013 - 04:25 PM
The morning was perfect, cool but not cold, warm but not hot, slight breeze.
He spent the time sitting in his filthy room playing games on his computer. :( He has not been brushing his 2 cats enough and his room has lots of cat vomit everywhere due to the hair balls. :(
I had asked him about working out front of the house where he has some of his trucks parked. Their tires are now flat and there are trees growing up through the engine compartments. There is "stuff" tossed in the truck beds that the wasps find to be great places to build their nests. There is more "stuff" laying all around the area.
He said it is now too hot to work outside. He is sitting in his floor to rafters hoarded garage now, playing computer games.
:(
Tillie
Posted: 11 May 2013 - 04:08 PM
Hi Roxie :D
How wonderful to have new appliances! Get those counters cleared and the floor all clean so your kitchen will look beautiful again.
Nice thing about being in maintenance is that messes are easy to spot and don't take long to clean up.
Wishing you well and looking forward to hearing how it's been going for you. :)
Susan
Posted: 11 May 2013 - 02:02 PM
Hi Roxie,
You're performing miracles. Take the day off and rest.
Roxie
Posted: 11 May 2013 - 12:13 PM
I think this is my first time posting in this area. Hi to all. I posted in the Success folder previously. I AM reading and I like "hearing" from all of you. I am post-cleanup and now working on recovery.
Setback for me is that having workers in post-cleanup to install appliances has messed things up and I find myself falling into old patterns. Put things down and leave them there rather than following the Only Handing It Once (OHIO) rule I was given. Having folks in and out has been exhausting for me.
I had to empty out my old useless dishwasher because it was just another storage place, in order for the new one to come in. Same with refrigerator. Now I have things spread out on the kitchen counter (which HAD been cleared) and the floor needs sweeping and mopping from all the tracking of things. Sigh.
I pushed myself to clean behind the dishwasher, stove and refrigerator (walls and floors) before new ones were installed. I exhausted myself. I need to get back to cleaning walls and ceiling. Push me, push me!
Wish me well, please, as I need recovery support.
Roxie
Tillie
Posted: 11 May 2013 - 10:58 AM
Dianne, That is how people get in deeper & deeper by making do. Adjusting to things not working. I had that same problem here with our septic system not functioning, he just got used to the stinky pond out in the side yard.
WTG! on having the stairs measured! :D Looking forward to hearing how the air conditioning repair went for you.
When a repairman asks questions that have nothing to do with the job he is there to do you do not have to answer him. What he was doing was just being nosy and rude. (((hugs))) I know how it feels though. I have been subjected to that kind of treatment too. :(
Tillie
Posted: 11 May 2013 - 10:49 AM
It's Saturday. I am sitting here waiting to see what he will do today, if anything.
This has been a rough week for me. Going against everything I am used to doing every day. Hoping this new plan will work soon and get him motivated.
Anyways.... I have a rule for myself that whenever I get something new I must get rid of something that I already have. One in, one out. Went through my stuff and have been successful in finding several things that I am willing to part with. :D When someone has way too much stuff a good rule is "One in - five out, to help reduce the amount of stuff down to a reasonable amount.
My TO-DOs for today... Cat stuff, food, water, litter boxes, brushing, petting, solving all their kitty problems. Eat more of my watermelon. Maybe get outside and pull some excess catnip mint and grass out of my garden. Try talking to that hoarder in my life about things and areas around here that really need to be decluttered because it makes life here so much harder and dangerous that it need be. Take my can of bug spray around and kill all wasps, black widow spiders and scorpions I can find all the while trying not to step on any snakes.
Wishing everyone a fun, happy and productive day! :D
Dianne
Posted: 11 May 2013 - 10:38 AM
Laura is at the beach for a few days so I have all animal care around here.
The carpet guy came a couple days ago and glanced at the hoard but thankfully was very professional and just did his job of measuring stairs. When he left I slept for 2 hours as a release from stress.
The heating/air conditioning guy is coming on Monday so I need to brace myself for that. I already cancelled and rescheduled once. The areas he needs to work in are clear but he will be looking at other areas that sure aren't.
A couple years ago a roof guy came in to fix a leak. He had to walk around the attic and said, "Boy, you sure have a lot of stuff up here." and commented on individual items like saddles. "Why don't you sell some of it?"
As he was checking the rooms where the leak went down thru the walls into the basement (I didn't want him to but it was part of the job) the comments kept coming. "How long have you lived here?" "How many people live here? I thought there was gonna be a crowd of people in here when I saw all those cars." I couldn't wait for him to get out!!
Last night it was so hot in here I slept in a dog bed in the basement where it was cooler. The animals were totally fascinated and all over me so there wasn't much good sleeping. So I have to let that air conditioner guy in here before I go downhill even more.
The weird thing is I thought, I could sleep like this, it's pretty comfortable. Then I thought, Dianne this is probably how people get worse in little bits at a time. So try and see it from a *normal* perspective and stop the decline.
Tillie
Posted: 11 May 2013 - 10:27 AM
Good morning :) Karl, Diane, Pixgrls, Dianne & everybody else.
WAY TO GO! Karl on fixing the vacuum belt and getting to those other tasks.
Diane, wishing you a great time today. You deserve it after puppy sitting. :)
Pixgrls, Happy you have gotten to those long neglected obligations. Looking forward to reading your plan when you write it.
Dianne, Baby steps and taking regular breaks is the way to go when doing the work all by yourself. :)
Dianne
Posted: 11 May 2013 - 10:11 AM
I have some catching up to do here.
Tillie, Diane, Lynn, Susan keep moving forward!
Dianne
Posted: 11 May 2013 - 10:06 AM
Hi Pix,
It is a major accomplishment to have gotten out some packages and notes regarding your sister's funeral. Besides the physical act of doing it you have also dealt with the emotional act of accepting her death by acknowledging others have.
I was never able to do that for my parents or brother. I admire you. :)
Dianne
Posted: 11 May 2013 - 09:54 AM
Hi Karl, I'm Dianne with 2 n's. :)
Diane is right when she posted that it is frustrating when under pressure. The past couple of weeks I had a lot of pressures to get things cleaned up around here. I tried to do a massive amount and totally caved. Now trying to get back to baby steps is like starting over.
It's wonderful that you are getting small things done. And allowing someone in to assess the situation is so huge!!
Congratulations!
Karl
Posted: 11 May 2013 - 03:31 AM
Actually, I did get one cleanup-related item done earlier in the day -- I fixed the vacuum cleaner. (The belt had come off, so the motor wasn't turning the brush thingy in front.) And, after my last post, I did indeed get the piles of magazines sorted; unfortunately, that's a small part of the whole. I'm running a couple loads of laundry before going to bed.
Pixgrls
Posted: 11 May 2013 - 01:14 AM
My plan this week, while nothing monumental, (but a start to getting other things done)was to get a few packages with the cards, and other papers that were given out at my sister's funeral in October. A couple of people I had to send small mementos to, but all had to have a personal note written. I still do have to write some thank you notes for donations, but the "personal" ones are done, and mailed! Next will be figuring out a plan with what to do with my sister's stuff that is immediately in my LR/DR, but luckily, the majority of her things are in storage.
I will post my "plan" when I come up with it though. Feels good just to get those few packages out to people......I'd been procrastinating on that for a very long time.
Hope everyone else has been having some good days getting their goals met. About to go read through this weeks posts.
Pix
diane
Posted: 10 May 2013 - 11:37 PM
Thanks Tillie, I appreciate your kind support. Kari, how did the cleaning go? I know how frustrating it is when pressured, will feel good when you get it done. wish you well
Karl
Posted: 10 May 2013 - 10:07 PM
Today -- nothing accomplished so far other than going out for some exercise and groceries. In particular, no progress on the mess that the landlords would like to be *completely* cleaned up by tomorrow. After I post this, I'll spend some time making progress on at least *one* front.
Tillie
Posted: 10 May 2013 - 09:40 PM
Diane, Sounds like fun and relaxing spending time out tomorrow with a friend. Sorry that darned puppy didn't just spread feathers on your carpet. ;)
diane
Posted: 10 May 2013 - 07:50 PM
Took care of neighbors puppie while he went golfing, I was worn out after a day with a puppy, watching what she was into, chewing shoes, cords, and anything else she could fit her mouth around, and she is not house trained, easier to clean up feathers Tillie. Instead of 1pm, neighbor didn't come back until after 3pm, so didn't go to class at 4pm, since I waited to shower til he got back. and it was 86 degrees so needed to shower. Since it was so late, decided to skip class instead of rushing. It was fun having the puppy until she peed on carpet. I am trying to be more social and so thought this was a good thing, but I was disappointed the guy didn't come back when he said, and that I missed the class with friends, slightly annoyed. I feel frustrated that I got very little done today. I am out of groceries, but havent left home in days. Had planned on going to get groceries this morning before asked to puppy sit. I can say no, not until house trained if they ask me to puppy sit again. These are new neighbors so not close to them. Guess I will take tomorrow off to have fun with a friend, we talked about walking by a river, weather permitting.
Tillie
Posted: 10 May 2013 - 05:41 PM
WTG! Lynn on getting that MRI done! :D
Lynn S
Posted: 10 May 2013 - 03:50 PM
Today I had the MRI done and will follow-up with doc on Monday to get the results. I'm able to get around with a cane and some walking without it but still hurts. My other knee is taking a toll with all the weight bearing stress and feeling the hurt from it. (Ouch!) Can't wait to start reading soon. Can't wait till I get better :)
Tillie
Posted: 10 May 2013 - 10:53 AM
Yesterday I had to water out in the yard because it had not rained enough here.
Last night at about 8:15pm we had a huge lightning storm and got buckets full of rain here. :D
My garden is full of blooming purple iris and sweet smelling little yellow roses.
Wish I wasn't so allergic to roses. Oh Well. :)
My To-Do list for today... Cat stuff.
Think that my neglecting to maintain around here or do his laundry & dishes has started to confuse him. :D
TGIF!
Tillie
Posted: 10 May 2013 - 10:42 AM
WAY TO GO! Karl on scrubbing floors and getting them over for an estimate! :D
Looking forward to hearing more from you.
Karl
Posted: 09 May 2013 - 08:27 PM
I got the kitchen and bathroom floors scrubbed last night and this afternoon; then the experts came over to give me a free evaluation. They judged it as being mostly clutter rather than serious hoarding -- level 2 at worst, maybe 1.5. Due to my financial situation I was thinking I'd have to forgo the actual service and see if I could bribe friends with pizza, but I'll see what the actual estimate turns out to be.
diane
Posted: 09 May 2013 - 07:29 PM
Thanks so much Tillie!! Happy you laughed when tickled by feathers!
Tillie
Posted: 09 May 2013 - 06:59 PM
LOL :D Diane! Thanks for the laugh. :D
WAY TO GO! on all you did today. Plus you didn't over do! Broke things up enough to not get frustrated.
Have a lot of fun tomorrow baby sitting that puppy. :D
One of the hardest things I have been trying to teach the hoarder in my life is that there is no way he will ever be able to organize his hoard. No matter how many pretty bins, boxes or other "organization" type containers he brings home. He just has TOO much stuff. :)
diane
Posted: 09 May 2013 - 05:29 PM
I started the day early again today, worked on clearing path into craft room. I have too many items in there for sure. Some of the pile was empty containers and hook things to hang junk on, thinking I was going to get organized, it is now clear, just too much stuff. After making a path to bookcase, was able to pick a stack of books to donate and a few things to throw away. When I felt I accomplished enough for today, I went out in yard and picked up all dog poop, and junk to put in garbage. was able to stuff alot of stuff in that old garbage can. visited with my neighbor, he just got a new puppy, Delila, very cute, and I get to take care of him tomorrow morning while neighbor is golfing. Hopefully no feathers to clean up!!
Tillie
Posted: 09 May 2013 - 01:28 PM
Well! The neighbor's cats have a cat door that allows them to go outside into their nice fenced back yard. One of the cats must have caught a bird because I just spent half an hour vacuuming up feathers that were spread all over the diningroom floor. :( At least it was just feathers and no body parts.
Other than that, I have been having a wonderful day playing outside. :D
Tillie
Posted: 09 May 2013 - 09:19 AM
Good morning :)
Busy morning. It didn't rain enough here to water the trees and bushes very well so I am off to do that. But first I have to feed my cats breakfast then feed my neighbor's cats their breakfast.
TTYL :)
Tillie
Posted: 08 May 2013 - 03:50 PM
WTG! Susan on finally getting to that pile! :D
Susan
Posted: 08 May 2013 - 03:24 PM
Hi all,
Today's task was to sort through a pile of mixed papers and photos, take out the photos, and put at least one in an album. This is only possible because I had an album sorting project a couple weeks ago, and found some empty ones.
I got about halfway through the pile but did put several more older pics in the album. Need to put better labels on them, but that's for another day. Soon, though, because my kids have no idea who these ancestors are.
It wasn't a very big pile, I only did half of it, but it's been sitting there for a very long time waiting to be done. Step by step, it will happen.
Wishing all a happy and productive day!
Tillie
Posted: 08 May 2013 - 10:18 AM
Good morning :)
WTG! Diane :D Great job on the craft room! That daily maintenance like dishes & laundry & putting stuff away is very important to keep things from turning into a huge major clean up. Two days worth of dishes to wash is so much easier than two years worth of dirty dishes. ;)
But daily maintenance here is what may be enabeling my hoarder to not do anything. Since he has clean clothes and dishes, bathroom and main living areas always clean and company ready.
The house & cat sitting there is no cleaning for me to do either unless a cat should bring in a bird and spread feathers all over the place. That happened before. :(
My To-Dos for today... Cat stuff, mine & neighbors Wash my clothes Wash mine & the cat's dishes Let my house go to heck in a hand basket. lol
Weather report says scattered thunder storms. Hope we get some here. The rain has been all falling on Carson City and Reno and by the time the clouds get here they are all done raining.
Happy Wednesday! :D
diane
Posted: 08 May 2013 - 09:24 AM
Another beautiful day today. Today I will clean up the dishes from 2 days, clean counters and stove top. Clean stuff off the floor from sorting. Clean papers off table. At least 1/2 hour in craft room, can now at least get beyond the doorway. Hope to also clean a shelf in garage, which is a jungle, to put car stuff, paint and a few tools, all on deck now. I notice my mind is not as motivated or focused as it has been, lack of sleep partially, frustrated with pile up of papers and dishes. Changing habits seemed to be accomplished and now see clutter started to accumulate. I am celebrating not acquiring, this is a blessing, never would have dreamed I could go 6 weeks without bringing carloads of bargains home. Things are improving, just need to stay on top of piles that easily accumulate, papers and dishes for example. Finish filling garbage can, have it almost full of tossed out junk. I am also filling one huge black garbage bag with the lighter junk, I have a sticker to put on it for free pickup. Garbage company gives us a sticker for free pickup of one bag garbage, for a Christmas present every year. Just can't be over 20 pounds since has to be lifted by driver. Looking forward to reading what you gals are doing today. Any humor would be helpful.