Posting again after I went back and read tillie's post again.

Tillie, I hope your fix works. We have an empty stove pipe from moving our woodstove and dh stuffed it with insulation, covered the end with a piece of tyvec, and taped it in place with metal duct tape.

Are things looking any better?

Hi Tatoulia!

You sound like you are cooking right along!

My cold is a bit better. I have been cleaning up today and decorating and doing laundry. I got everything off the floor in the scullery, put the empty toy train boxes away, and made a giant wreathe for my garage. I used the hula hoop I bought at goodwill for that purpose a long time ago!

I have also run the dishwasher twice.

I have also been sorting out legos so ds can take a bin with him when he comes for Christmas.

Out, out, out!

Hey it's me again. Working, doing laundry, wrapping gifts. I gave kitty a piece of wrapping paper to sit on and play with. Let's me wrap in peace.

I'm determined to just keep going. I want to get this done and then my dining table will be pretty again. I am also looking for something that I know my co-worker wants: something I already own. I found one in the back of my car (right where I had pictured it and now I need to find the second one.

I'll keep you posted. I want to finish this today. Concert is at 8.

Good morning! I have had a full blown cold but somehow I've kept it together. I've been able to do my usual stuff so that's been good. It appears to be gone as of last night! I did get up at 3:30 to drink the vitamin c and zinc potion. Tonight we are seeing the holiday pops and I'm so excited that I feel like myself again!

I finally finished the two boxes to mail and went to the post office last night. our main P.O. is open 24 hours I think. The line moved fairly quickly so even though my number was 27 places beyond the one being served, I got through it with no real bother.

I need to wrap a few things here and put away the wrapping supplies.

Tillie I love my glue gun. I don't use it frequently but when I do, it works miracles. It sounds like you are doing your best right now. Keep forging new routines. I'm sending you strength.

SubC how are you feeling?

Hello CM! Hello Motown! Hello Anony!

I'm going to do a bit of laundry now. I can't remember if I posted Saturday but I aired out my house (it ended up being in the 50s and I love having my house aired out. I did get laundry done over the weekend (towels, delicates, pjs) but I still have my sheets to wash. I do not like combining my loads.

I got rid of one of kitty's beds. She hasn't used it and it's just taking up room. I couldn't wash it and donate, it wasn't washable. She likes the one on the chair by the fireplace and she likes the one blanket on the little couch. No need to have my cleaners cleaning around it.

This time last year I had cat blankets over everything including my big couch. When you walked in, you saw a cat house. With the new placement of my furniture and my cleaners and my work, my house is great. I need to keep fighting. Just as I was writing this, above, I realized if I finish wrapping things, I get to put my wrapping supplies away. With God as my witness, I didn't realize that til I wrote it.

Many years ago, after one of his surgeries, my sibling complained about using a cane, and I said, when you decide you are sick of it, you can get rid of it (naturally he had refused the recommended PT) and so one day he left it in the grocery store and decided not to go back to it. I need to apply this to my life.

Oh! I received a corporate gift over the weekend and I've already 1) kept the one piece I need and will use; 2) gave the boyfriend the portion that he will use, set aside two pieces that one of my coworkers (not someone who would have received the gift) will use, and donated the rest of it. The box is already in my recycling bin.

So, what are you doing today??

Good Afternoon Everyone

Hi Subclinical
Hope you have/had a lovely time today.

I'm very fussy about clothes too.
They must fit, be cotton/wool/silk/linen/no synthetics, and found in a thrift shop since that way I am not paying possible slave manufacturers for them.

Forced myself to actually do something today.
By 1:00pm I was dressed, hair brushed, teeth brushed and face washed.
Made egg salad for sandwiches, cooked/ate the apology artichoke and did all the cat related tasks.
In a few, I will get up and clean the kitchen.

Since this house originally was a one room house located out in a gold mining town that is now a proper ghost town it used to have a wood stove for cooking and heating in the Winter.
Well, the stove pipe is still in/through the roof with the opening in the ceiling above the kitchen cupboards.
It has a metal cover that looks somewhat like a paper plate covering the hole.
This metal plate is hard to keep in place to help keep out the dirt and spiders.
Once there was a Starling came down the stove pipe and I had to let it out into the house and then chase it out the door.
Anyways...
That metal plate fell off again the other day so I had to get the ladder and get up there.
Noticed the tops of the cupboards were dusty so I had to clean them and also dusted the cupboard doors while I was at it.
Got an extension cord and my hot glue gun and glued that metal cover over that stove pipe hole.
Hope it holds and that I don't have to pry it off in case of Starlings.

Losing my sense of taste with this cold is a blessing. There is nothing like a week of hot tea and soup to cement a weight loss.

I need to have my weight down from my high to clean out my closet because otherwise the experience becomes depressing and I quit. Last time I tried it, I realized very quickly that my closet could be divided into "things I like" and "things that fit" with very little overlap. It is really hard for me to find clothes that I like.

The swimming has helped a lot with the joint pain even at a slightly higher weight. I don't think i'm going to be able to go on Tuesday though.

We are going to the ballet this afternoon. I hate that I feel crummy, and I should probably stay home, but I want very badly to go. I will probably take a decongestant - which I also hate, so that I won't be sniffly. I have convinced myself that it is ok to take my germy self out in public because I seem to live in a society where the expectation is that you will keep working and attending school with mild illness and "oh yes, wash your hands." But I am feeling very hypocritical.

After the show we are going to dd1s house so dh can hook up the electricity for her kitchen fan. She is going to feed us dinner.

Good Evening Everyone

Hi CriticalMass
WAY TO GO! decluttering too large pants!
It is important for all of us to know that trying to follow too strict of a diet with food or any other activities in life too often fails.
We need to keep flexible or otherwise we tend to revolt.

Hi Subclinical
I'm looking forward to your closet organizing after the holidays no matter what your size.
Keep up with the swimming whenever you can and you will feel better mentally and physically and spiritually. (((hug)))

Hi Tatoulia
Wonderful that even with that cold the food tasted delicious!
The one thing I hate about having a cold is losing the sense of taste, along with the runny nose & eyes, sore throat, sneezing & coughing, fever and generally feeling like crap. ;P

Another mostly cold cloudy gray day.
Dusted the kitchen cupboards including the tops.
Tidied up the kitchen.

Hello everyone! Good to read your posts. I continue to battle the cold. I thought for sure it was winning but now I'm feeling a bit better.

WTG! On getting rid of the bigger clothes! Definitely counts double!

I am just trying to not get any sicker but I think if I were honest with myself, I do have a full blown cold. But I prefer to think I'm winning

I continue to lose weight and ladies, a lot of what my nutritionist worked on was changing my personal internal dialogue. I truly now think of food as nourishment and it's been freeing. At mom's Christmas party last night I enjoyed the turkey dinner, felt full, and never had any of the sweets. The food tasted so good. I hadn't been able to eat all day and then that was delicious.

I have one more gift to buy then I'm done. Good feeling. Something for a coworker. I still haven't gotten my Christmas cards done but I will. I was home by 7 last night and went to bed.

SubC I am excited about the trash service! You are doing so well!

Tillie I have a cat next to me right now, sleeping away. What are you doing today? Would love a description of your weather! It is 40F here and so pleasant. Sunny and bright.

Yay CM!

Dropping off those larger jeans was great! I love procrastination as a weight loss tool. And yes, getting rid of that catastrophic thinking in our lives really helps with all of our goals!

I am starting to get interested in working on my closet. I have lost just over 1/3 of the weight I want to lose. If I only make it to 2/3, that will be ok. My goal might be unrealistic since I haven't seen it since my early 30s.

But the closet is a job for January.
Use the trash service to work on the studio - dh gift
Write my student evaluations - required for work
And clean out and organize my closet - if I can keep this weight off through the holidays.

Tillie, I am sad and worried for you. I hate that you have Steven's dark cloud hovering over all your days.

Oh, I had to mention this - forgot to earlier. One day this week I dropped the last pair of larger size jeans off at the thrift store! I didn't think I had any left since my post-surgical weight loss two years ago.

I gained some back over last year but I'm doing damage control and my smaller pants still fit. When my old junker van was giving me fits last winter was when I started dipping more into the sweets. Have mostly gotten the habit back under control. I follow a "nothing is forbidden" policy, otherwise I'll obsess and rebel and eat the forbidden stuff out of spite. But the trick is, of course, to not take the permission as license to go crazy.

So when my system is working optimally, I can notice the craved food, acknowledge that it might taste good, and tell myself I don't want it at the moment. In this way, I actually put my procrastination tendencies in service of a good goal! Because often I'll forget to go back to get the food if I get busy and purposeful. It's a balancing act, but I lost 30 pounds with it. I will get the ones back off then go for another 30 or so and I should be good - not too fat nor too scrawny.

It all ties in with decluttering - setting goals, having faith, not getting permanently derailed by the bumps in the road. And decluttering too-large clothes is automatic bonus points, right? ;)

Good Evening Everybody

Hi CriticalMass
Thank you
WAY TO GO! tackling that paper!
Keep sorting through and organizing them and I KNOW you will get that novel written.

Hi Subclinical
Yeah I know :(
Milk from animals with the proper veterinarian care raised on a family farm have perfectly good milk.

WTG! that the house is almost ready to host a party!!!

Just inform the visiting family that they must each keep their own dogs under control and away from the cat at all times.
Not your dogs, not your problem. :)



Did nothing really today.
Feeling adrift without any direction or purpose.
No reason to clean the bathroom or the floors with him constantly stomping around dirtying them up.
Have no motivation or desire to do anything or go anywhere.
The cats are sweet and cuddly and keeping me company all day & night.
We need to establish a new routine so I will feel more motivated and the cats can be more relaxed.

CM, way to go on tackling the paper! I hope you get things sorted round so that you are content.

I forgot to say that I took a necklace and matching earrings plus two other pairs of earrings, two pins, and a candle to the donation table for the kids shopping. Not very much, but I didn't have much time to sort things out.

Today I brought home a new pin 😳and dh brought home a mug from his work party.

In the last 36 hours, I have discovered that I am hosting a party on the 22nd for 17 people (I am happy to host, but wires got crossed and I wasn't expecting the party to be here) and that my Dd and dsil are planning to spend the night here Christmas Eve, with their dog, even though they live less than an hour away and their dog doesn't get along with ds's dogs - who will also be here. And none of the dogs get along with our cat. And I am not crying in a corner.

I already decorated the tree and fixed up the dining porch - so the house is half ready for the party, and none of my bedrooms are packed full of things with the doors closed. I just said "we'll figure it out."

Tillie, I'm sorry about all the crap going on with Steven. I'm glad you can carve out space, physical and mental, to enjoy the little blessings life offers and connect with nature despite it all.

My big thing is just a TV - I'll pay her for it but she isn't in a hurry - I wanted to get a non "Smart" TV before they quit making them. I don't know if I posted about it, but a couple years ago or so, my other TV's coaxial port got broken and it was a very angry ugly meltdown I went through. I wanted to blame her because she persuaded me to move the TV to hook up extra speakers and I wonder if it wouldn't have broken if I had left it where it originally was. Yet it wasn't really her fault the port broke, it was just an indirect thing.

Ugh. Whether she felt bad or not, she wanted a different TV and she saw the ones I liked on deep markdown.

As for the clutter, I did go through a bunch of my approximately 12,863,574 pieces of paper in my bedroom (of which 9,173,485 are handwritten notes of ideas to follow up on, in various colors of ink on various colors of paper, because white paper to me is like snowblindness - I'd never find anything in it). I got rid of some that were obsolete, and categorized others. There are ideas for my writing in there, websites to look up - yes, I'm an information hoarder, being a nerd and all! :D

Doing that did help me feel like I really will get a handle on it. I'm determined to get the good stuff transformed into something real and good - like write those novels, blog posts, etc. Then they will exist in the real world and the little notes can go away. I just have to keep pressing forward. Little engine that could!

Thanks for encouraging me to vent here. I'd just kept hoping I would get time to get on the laptop computer because it's the easiest to type on and crashes less than my tablet. But it's old and slow too, and requires sitting down and waiting for it to boot, so I kept procrastinating.

And I need to be somewhere in an hour with a stop along the way so I'll leave off here. Iced tea clinks! (Yes, even in the wintertime I prefer iced.)

Cm, I too am very curious about your good thing.
But whine away! We understand that just because your problems are not earth shattering doesn't mean they are not real problems. And that even good things can be difficult.

Tatoulia, keep fighting the good fight on the cold front. I am just going to spend as much time as possible curled around hot liquids.

Tillie, your day sounds nice. The whole honey thing annoys me. The government can make lots of laws preventing me from selling milk directly to people who understand exactly what they are buying and want it, but can't bother to require that stuff sold as "honey" is actually honey. I went over the law with my farm class last year.

My other socks arrived yesterday, so now I will have cozy feet all winter.

Fridays have become a struggle for me lately, so my goal today is getting through. Tomorrow d❤️Gs and I set up the lego train under the tree.

Hello Everybody

Hi CriticalMass
It doesn't matter if your stressors are matters of "Life & Death" or not.
They are real stressors for you and impact your life.
Make sure to ring in the Winter Solstice with special cheer and celebrating to help make it a GREAT new year. (((HUG)))

Hi Subclinical
The artichoke is sitting safely in the fridge veggie bin.
WTG! for setting up the family nativity scene in the bookshelf space!
I find the "CowSheep" very dear. ;)
Shake that cold ASAP!

Hi Tatoulia
A handicap placard is for use when driving a person around with physical challenges.
I'm glad you had it and were able to use it to help your friend.
Hope by now you are snuggled all warm and sweetly dreaming in your bed.


He has no intentions to ever work again, he's only 60, claims he is disabled.
Disabled my arse.
Today he brought me a small platter of slightly limp shrimp, the sauce was wimpy, no horseradish.
He also brought me a 12 ounce jar of honey, source not verified.
Which means it could just be honey flavored high fructose corn syrup.
Apology not accepted. :P

Didn't do anything today.
Seem to be at a crossroads right now.
Spent a lot of time socializing with the cats when they weren't sleeping.
Soon as the next storm passes I want to get outside and start pruning bushes and cutting back last summer's growth in the garden.

There is a "new" tiger striped boy cat coming around.
That Dude is very chubby, fat actually.
When he runs away he always goes in the same direction, back to his own home I suspect.

Startled the Band Tailed Hawk the other day.
He just caught a juicy gopher and had started to eat his lunch when I went out to the burn barrel.
I was busy making noise and working at putting stuff into the barrel.
When I finished I looked up and finally saw him standing 15 feet away from me staring.
We both stood there for a full two minutes looking at each other before he took his lunch and flew up into a tree.

Oh CM I am so sorry. It is a difficult time of year and hard to keep things going. I live alone and still cannot catch my breath. You owe it to yourself to vent; maybe I'm selfish but I believe being able to vent without comparing my troubles to other people's. I'm not a complainer but I do need to let off some steam sometimes. If you are feeling hopeless or overwhelmed you can tell us and we will be here for you. I had a nice business lunch with two very nice men today; we have lunch four times a year. Somehow we were talking about the winter darkness and I said that as much as I love the cold, I do find myself just crying in a corner sometimes. And they immediately said, just call us. Don't cry. SO CM just tell us and your friends how you are feeling. We are here for you.

I must admit you have piqued my interest with your large positive new thing.

SubC we are fighting the same cold. I intend to win. I don't know how or why but I will win.

Tillie my dear I am distressed by the developments with Steven. Does he plan to look for more work? I know you can't ask him without a volcanic eruption but has he said anything?
I need to find my way off the couch and into bed. I'm in my jams but need to wash my face. So tired.

I'm still like my brain and life and cluttered surroundings are in the metaphorical equivalent of V-fib and I am in danger of snuffing it sanity wise if something doesn't happen that does what a defibrillator does to a literal heart in V-fib: Shock it back to a normal rhythm so regular life can resume.

I'm not suicidal or anything like that, just in case my use of the phrase "snuffing it" sounded scary. To the contrary! I very much want to live and create and be joyful.

What has basically happened is that an unexpected good thing came my way, but ironically in order to make physical space for it I had no warning and had to fling stuff wherever. This made new chaos and now I'm dealing with that. It also has been blocking my way to the areas I'd been most determined to tackle because they are high use and if I can get them functional again my daily rhythms would be much easier to cope with.

And all of this against the continuing backdrop of cat problems, the roommate situation, my activities (have played hooky from quilting at church just to deal with the homefront and because I don't want to have to deal with getting ready in a hurry in the mornings to get there).

And the sunporch still awaits the workman. He did work on my van, so it's up to date. But I'm mostly broke for the rest of the month after paying for it. Still, at least this van has only needed a couple of things and should be good to go now, knock on wood.

Finally, everyone around me is dealing with major "sandwich generation" stuff: aging parents, pregnant children and grandchildren, etc. I've been there with the parents over a decade ago, have no spouse, siblings, kids, or grandkids. So even though I'm stressed to the max by my own standards, I feel like I can't talk much about my stresses because they aren't life and death.

I don't mean to make it all sound so depressing and whiney - I'm doing everything I can to have faith and maintain a positive attitude. I'm glad the winter solstice is so close and then the days will start getting longer. That always gives my morale a boost. And maybe I'll hit upon a strategy for quicker ways of dealing with the logjams; it has already occurred to me to brainstorm about those.

Anyway, this is a summary of the big picture. The details would require an entire forum at this point, so summary it is. And maybe that's for the best. The details worry me more than they should be allowed to do already.

Peace out, my friends.

Tatoulia, I fully support your use of the parking tag.

It is so nice that you were able to do that for your neighbor.

Tillie, hang in there. You can talk to us. We try very hard to listen even if sometimes we don't do as well as we should. I hope you took the artichoke anyway. He owes you all the artichokes you want and more.

I have a large section in my bookshelf that I think was meant to hold a tv. For years I have been intending it to be my "seasonal" space, but I never get to it. I cleared it out and set up my grandmother's nativity scene - it is a hodgepodge of a beautiful set from Italy and other pieces more or less to scale that she collected. My favorite part is the little clay animal that was one of my grandfather's toys. His family was very poor, so there weren't many toys. It is either a cow or a sheep. I think it is a cow, but there is much family debate. To scale it is a sheep - but a hair sheep, not a wooly one.

I have lost the fight against my cold. It is an early Christmas gift from one of my little darlings. Oh well. At least I will be over it by Christmas. Also, nothing tastes good, so it is helping with my weight, even though I am going to skip my swim today.

Everyone needs to stay rested! It's a stressful, grimy time of year.

Hi Tillie I got a lot of sleep in yesterday and last night. I drank some zinc and vitamin c that my friend brings me from Greece. I'll have another this AM.

I made sure all the dishes were done before calling it a night and I was warm in bed last night. I have a business lunch today and then tonight I can just rest. I'll brave the PO over the weekend. I will wrap up and address the boxes tonight. They are ready to go. My box to Switzerland won't be sent til after the new year so it's just the domestic boxes I need to address. Kitty hasn't done her annual Christmas card (started off as a goof and is now A Thing)

Oh well I have the weekend and that's all that matters!!! I will take care of myself and rest and then do a few little errands as I can.

My elderly neighbor was so pleased to get an item scratched off his to do list yesterday. It was nice being with him. I'm used to being with my mom who cannot walk more than a step or two and he could walk with his cane for short distances and frequent rests. I used the handicap placard because I didn't think I'd get in trouble since I was using it for a handicapped elderly person. I wrestled with it and decided the police would understand that my 85 year old neighbor was with me instead of my mom. It was not an issue.

Hi Tatoulia
Sorry that you didn't get to finish your running around and feel you wasted the time that you could have been doing something more productive.
I hate when that happens.

What really ticked me off was when he started blaming me for the consequences of his own actions and inactions.
You just can not reason with crazy.

Be strong even though you feel guilty.
(((HUG)))

Please do not get sick!
You are just getting over some sort of sick.
You know the rules, drink plenty of fluids, rest and bla, bla, bla, etc...

Ps we will bring the cheese!!!!!

Tillie I can relate in some ways to your situation, although I never got an artichoke. I remember my sibling would blow up and escalate any question into shouting and dirty name calling and near violence. Of course our situations are vastly different, except they are not. Just dealing with an unstable individual is so tough. I once, in a terrible snowsto, decided to surprise him so I took one public transportation vehicle after another and walked in the terrible snow and brought him milk and snacks and he kept screaming at me, why didn't I tell him I was coming over, he needed me to go to the bank for him. Elk I hadn't told him because I couldn't be certain that all the trains were working.

And yet I sit here feeling guilty that he isn't invited to Christmas this year.

I took half s day to get my elderly neighbor's updated identification card today. It went very smoothly. Then I tried to run a few errands, since I already had the car out, but a huge accident kept me from my destination. So I came back home. At that point it was after 4. I wish I had finished the packages I need to mail and just taken them to the P.O.

Going to drink some juice then go to bed. I'm fighting a cold, I'm afraid.

Good Evening Everybody

Hi CriticalMass
Thank you for the update :D

Hi Motown
Feel free to whine away
We'll provide the cheese

Hi Subclinical
Wonderful to read about all that quality time being spent with DHGs.
Quality time is the absolute best gift anyone can give a child.

Hi Tatoulia
I really like that we all can voice different opinions here.
Nobody is ever wrong and nobody is ever always right but we all get to consider other viewpoints and come together somewhere in the middle of understanding.

Large bright yellow orb in the cloudless blue sky today.
Hung out some laundry and it dried beautifully.
Kitchen was a mess but I fixed that.

Other day he went off on me when I simply asked a simple question.
So, I am not speaking to him at all.
He brought me an artichoke as a feeble apology, it did not work.
I can not be bought or bribed.
Since last Thursday he has taken only one shower.
He reeks like a festering pustule now.
He has gone "shopping" every day since last Thursday except today.

Just a little background on me...
In the past I have gone over a whole year without ever speaking one word to any adult human being.
They never listen anyways.

Oh so beautifully put, SubC. I could picture the warmth and the love and that is a perfect Christmas. Or any holiday!

I love the thought of the love your ❤️Gs has. Those are great moments. One of my favorite Christmas memories was laying on my bed, reading Little House on the Prairie that Santa got me and eating little candies out of my stocking. I was also wearing a little terry cloth apron my grandmother got me. So happy.

Love you all.

I think you can have "merriment" without being a slave to other people or layering shine over despair. If you are going to make a nice Christmas for the kids, you need to involve the kids.

D❤️Gs is so happy in his new environment. His mom sent me pictures of them making cookies in their clean kitchen. But cleaning the kitchen came first. And it meant that one night, while we were cleaning the kitchen, d❤️Gs had a package of applesauce and a little microwave pizza for dinner sitting where we told him to sit and throwing everything (including his plastic spoon and paper plate) directly into the trash when he got up. Then he went back to helping us put things away. (Mostly He chattered, but he was with us, and he did some cleaning up and no messing up.) he has room to make cookies - and cookies. He has space in his room to use his toys, he has a string of Santa lights, and he has a tabletop Christmas tree to put presents under (presents he made for his mom and helped her buy for his cousins - who are coming over to play with him.) that is a perfectly reasonable amount of "Christmas merriment"

You can add music or special movies - which don't take up space. You can play games. You can plan and cook a meal together. You can gather up gently used toys or clothes and take them to a shelter or fill an Amazon "give back" box. Making the house nice for the holidays doesn't have to mean layering in more stuff. It might mean cutting the stuff you have.

Hello everyone! Cm you stopped by!
Tillie I can tell you are stiff upper lipping it. How are things going?
SubC I am so happy about your dining porch! Must be so pretty.

Motown, dump and whine and complain. You are safe with us. We are on your side.

Might I offer you a different perspective? (For you to reject as you wish.) I hope you can find the strength to make it Christmas-y and nice because there are children involved. Life is chaos for them too, even the ones that are "part of the problem and not part of the solution". Try to close out this tough year with some merriment. You will eliminate the possibility of feeling guilty. Then make some rules to start the new year and find the strength to enforce them. Get reinforcements wherever you can, whether it's from another adult or even one of the children in the house. You can do this, it will be tough but you can. We will be standing next to you.
Just my two cents. I'm not exactly the best role model but your situation isn't going to improve by skipping Christmas, so do your best and know that next year will be better. Let me know what you think.

Your situation is very difficult and we will help you. I believe in you. Im so sorry things are so bad. Tomorrow is another day. Do you want to try to get one bag of garbage out tmr? Or two? I'll do the same. I'll fill one bag for donations. Each bag will help you. You'll be getting rid of stuff and you'll be building those mental muscles to say, we don't need this.

Motown, we teach people how to treat us.

It is not ok for them to destroy your house. You can refuse to go to the grocery store, and you can refuse to cook for them.

You can tell them that if they don't clean their stuff up, you will throw it out. And you can do that.

Are you afraid that they will leave if you put your foot down?

With children, I think it works best to work alongside them and explain the benefits of what you are doing. Hut it is also totally ok to inform them that you will not allow them to live like animals.

Hi CM,

Hi Tillie. Dh says he's cooking this weekend, so I don't know if that gets me off the hook or if I will lose the challenge.

Hi Tatoulia.

I'm SO behind too CM. And yes Tillie, I HAVE considered just going on Christmas Strike. I said to hubby yesterday as we backed into the driveway that this is the very first year that I am not super overly excited about Christmas. It is usually my absolute favorite and I love everything about it but this year I'm finding myself quite scrooge-ish.
Tillie, I do hope the best for you and your situation.

YAY for clean houses. I'm getting more discouraged each day. I have never been a great housekeeper but the awful condition of the house now means I will not allow anyone inside and I cringe when even the kids bring their young friends inside because there is never even a place to sit down and if they eat with us I have to literally shove things aside on the table to make a single square foot space to set their plate and glass. I hate this. I have (well had) nice things and my house could look quite nice (except for the damage done since they all moved in like holes in the walls from boys fighting, terribly stained carpets and torn rugs, etc.) and I might could just enjoy life in the evenings but the chaos is getting to me. I want peace but.....
Anyway, it is almost time for me to get off work and go home to aforementioned chaos. DD has already volunteered me to go to the grocery store with her and then when we get home it will be me to cook supper for the crew.

Enough of my bellyaching. I feel guilty every time I unload on all you kind individuals. I will do my best to keep my chin up and just ride it out. If only I could see a glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel and not be afraid that it is an oncoming train....

Until next time,

Motown

Hi.

I am SO behind.

Miss you guys.

Will catch up as soon as I can!

Hello

Hi Tatoulia
It is so wonderful to know you have a clean tidy home where you are happy (((HUG)))
The gingerbread making sounds like so much fun!

Hi Subclinical
Yea! for new socks just in the nick of time.
So, what are you making for dinner on Saturday?
WTG! for making the dining porch all neat & clean and decorated.

Hi Motown
Have you ever considered just going on strike for XMas?
Not doing any of the usual things that they are all expecting you to do but just taking for granted that you will be doing?
To me, buying gifts, decorating and special cooking/baking/candies are things we do from the heart for those we love to show appreciation for the love we receive in return.


A light dusting of snow overnight.
Another dark gray sunless day.
The carport roof is halfway down now and hanging very precariously.

So Tatoulia, did you get to bed?

I forgot to say that one pair of my socks arrived yesterday. Coincidentally, I wore a hole through the teal of the 99cent pair I was wearing.

Wow!!!! WTG! Congratulations on your hard work! It sounds so beautiful and nicely decorated! Giant congratulations!

Sending everyone much love. I'm heading to bed at an early hour for a change. Generally when I say that it magically becomes 12:30 AM. hoping I just do it and go to bed. Have work then dinner with two colleagues from two different areas of my life. They met about two years ago and now they have formed a relationship. Nice women. So I'll do that tmr night.

I decorated gingerbread houses with a friend's children yesterday. It was disastrous yet really fun. I can't remember if I'd told you of that. We haven't had a disaster before when we've done it so I guess it was time. The kids didn't seem phased and my friend and I laughed like idiots so it was good.


Goodnight dear friends. Tillie was hope you and the kitties (and Jack) are cuddled in for the night. Motown keep doing what you are doing. It can be a long haul but we are here for you. CM would love an update. ANONY, LR, DIANE, DIANNE, ROXIE, BITSY, JOAN, no matter where you are or what your houses look like, I love you and I think of you.

I believe. 😊

I think it will take me more than five years to have my whole house clean at once.

But the dining porch is "clean" - by which I mean, the table was cleaned off and washed, as was the little side table. Both have pretty holiday cloths on them and a centerpiece. The chairs are around the table with nothing on the seats, the floors and throw rugs are clean, the little cupboard and three pictures have been dusted. So have the two decorative pieces that are the only things on the little cupboard.

The fan needs to be dusted badly, the windows need to be washed, and the light globes need to be taken down and washed. But if I dusted the fan, I could close off the rest of the house and entertain out there with confidence.

Can you imagine? I thought I'd never see the day again. Quick reminder, I only have one floor of this house so it's tiny and as you noted, it's clean because my ladies cleaned it. I would say it was 5 years on this site getting rid of things. Five years of prioritizing and crying and self-loathing then clarity and light. I did it, but honestly WE did it. It's nice to have my house be the way it used to be. It's so nice being able to invite people over and have people in. Not that I'm a giant fan of people. The victory is that I no longer have to make excuses or live in fear that I'll have to let someone in. I used to absolutely panic. And never getting anywhere with the cleaning was tough. Thank you everyone for getting me here and keeping me here!!

"My house is clean."
Your house. Your whole house.
I think the last time I was able to say that was before my youngest child was born. In fact, we moved when the second child was less than a year old, and from the moment we carried the first box into the house, I have never had a fully clean house again. He is 24.

You are amazing.

I know you have help. You are still amazing. I am amazed that you are able to have help!

I am determined to knock off this dining porch before bed.

My house is clean, all laundry done and folded and put away and I'm tired. I'm just so tired. My recycling is out and I'm about to take out the garbage. Then I will nap.

A home cooked meal sounds so nice. Whenever I visit a particular friend of mine, she says, what do you want for dinner? And I say, good grouos. There is nothing like a balanced meal. I'm thrilled that's what your special boy asked for.

Motown, I fully support buying nothing for kids who have so much stuff they can't take care of it.

I also support telling them that is going to happen. "There will be no presents because there is no space in this room for presents. If you guys want to grab trash bags and donation bags and help me make a nice clean room with space under the tree, i'm willing to rethink that."

Tatoulia, I think what you did for your cleaners was nice.

❤️Gs has amused me with his challenge "make a home cooked meal this weekend." His mom will be feeding him Friday and Sunday and I will be feeding him Saturday. I'm tempted to tease him that she is going to do dinner on Saturday and I am going to do dinner on Sunday. He likes to cook. His dad feeds him standard fast food and his mom often takes him to inexpensive ethnic restaurants or food trucks.

I haven't started working on my porch yet. Supervising dh took longer than I expected.

Motown don't worry about remembering who said what. Just keep posting and we can provide you with some strength. Would it be possible to clear away from under the tree? Even if you just bag up the junk? And then you could make it your task to keep it clear. A little bit of non-cluttered space can go a long way!!

Tillie I tried Feliway when I had mom's cat here. I was allergic so I gave it to a coworker who uses it to prepare her cat for a visit. I couldn't breathe! I am allergic to cats but naturally Ive gotten used to my cat seeing that we are 13-14 years in at this point.

I love the challenge with the gs and d, SubC. Great idea!

My cleaners were here today so my apt is lovely. I had gotten together some Christmas ornaments last night, including some new ones, and I bagged them up for them. I also gave away a book of gift tags. Also two bows I bought for my wreaths and then never used. Wasted money but they were thrilled. I had envelopes for them, this was just stuff I was going to donate and asked if they wanted. It's a bit awkward but probably okay.

I'm going to do a little more work then take a break and help an elderly neighbor renew his license. He needs it to get his prescriptions. My BF has found out that a different neighbor had "offered" to do it for $50. So naturally we shut that down. I'll see if we can do it on line and if not, I'll take Wednesday off and take him.

Tillie, I'm so sorry for everything that is going on with you regarding your personal life, finances and health. Prayers going up for you. Don't know how to help otherwise except to advise you to look into your state's version of Medicaid or check the insurance marketplace for insurance through the exchange program (AKA Obama-care) as it is based on income. Really helped us out when both hubby and I were unemployed. Also, having Medicare is better than having no insurance at all and you may qualify for Medicaid/exchange that acts as a supplement at little or no cost to you. If you turn 65 this month you could already have Medicare coverage just for the asking as it can begin the first of the month in which you turn 65. Please check it out so that you will not put off much needed healthcare for yourself.
Also, I bought some of the OUT! enzyme stuff at Wal-Mart because that one cat keeps peeing on MY TABLE! Hasn't worked. He has peed on the table for about 6 nights in a row. YUK! I got a different brand too but haven't tried it yet. May double up on the two to see if it makes a difference. Tired of that nastiness.


SubC, glad the GS's room is in good shape and DD is "maintaining". That in itself is progress because I cannot seem to maintain. I had mentioned a few weeks ago about having cleared and cleaned a good portion of counter space in my kitchen. Well, it is all gone again and the stack is higher that has replaced it. :(

I can't seem to keep footing and slip back down every time I think I have gained ground. My tree is not complete and the kids have piled up junk around it so that I am not even inspired to wrap pretty packages to go under it. Uninspired to do much shopping and don't know what to buy if I did. Kids are unappreciative and greedy. Unsure how to teach them otherwise. I wasn't raised like that and neither was their mother.

Oh well. There are worse things.

Gotta get back to work. I find it difficult to remember what I have read and by whom it was posted so I am not good at replying. No way to see it once I begin a post and relying on my own memory is futile.

Hi Tillie, glad you have more peace in your kitty family.

I am up early today because I have to drive Dh a ways for a medical test (expecting it to be ok) that will use at least half of my day.

The other half I have some pottery things to do and I am planning to finish cleaning up the dining porch. I started decorating it yesterday, and realized that I had stopped seeing how bad it was. There are items on the floor and there were also stacks on two chairs! Half the table is still covered.

Yesterday I puttered around cleaning up and decorating. I also did a lot of laundry and put it away. My main living areas are better, but the basement is getting bad again. I'm not too worried because it seems to always get bad at Christmas time.

I sent d❤️Gs and d❤️Dd a challenge last night to get everything off their bedroom floors before bed (I did my bedroom floor first) d❤️Dd said her floor is "maintained" (nothing new on it since we partly cleaned it up) but no progress. However, the boy's room is spotless, so he gets to pick the next challenge.

Good Afternoon

Dark, gray, cold and sunless day.
It's 3:30pm and the sun has not shined at all today.

The other day I bought some Feliway spray from Amazon.
I ordered it Wednesday and it arrived Friday, a day earlier than expected.

Anyways...
It's a cat pheromone type thing that is supposed to relax nervous, scared or aggressive cats.
I noticed that the Veterinarian was using it.
It works very well on Scooter.
I can pet him more often without him going into attack mode.
He is not being mean or vicious, attack mode is just his way of relating to others.
He grabs your hand and holds on with his claws and puts his teeth on you but doesn't bite down.
When he was a tiny baby he would dig in with his claws and bite down hard as he could, but not in a mean or vicious way.

My big orange boy is naturally jumpy, nervous about imagined things.
He is calmer now and being more sociable.

Twinkles, I can't notice any difference there.
He has always been friendly, talkative, sociable, relaxed and calm.

Hi Subclinical

I am so happy for you that you have this big beautiful tree to enjoy this year.

Donating some costume jewelry will be a fantastic way to rehome it.
Think of how happy the child will be when they can give their Mom a beautiful present. :D

Now I am very worried, but I don't know what to do.

When my grandfather was drinking and smoking himself to death, he reached a point where he needed help with everything and he went from verbal abuse to throwing things and hitting my step grandmother. A couple of times she called my dad for help.

After the second time my dad told him. "M is not going to buy you any more alcohol. No one us going to bring alcohol into this house. And if you hit her again, I will come get her and take care of her and leave you to die here alone."

But there is no one to come get you.

You have to promise us that if things get really bad you will call Tatoulia. Maybe a lawyer could help you find a way to get intervention and stay safe? I don't know. We do not want social services moving you because of his hoard, and we do not want a big involuntary cleanout that makes him dangerous....


I finished putting up my tree yesterday. For the first time in years, I got all the ornaments on! Even the big glass balls my cousin brought me from Venice that usually look too big. It is amazing! It looks so much like the trees from my childhood.

I have a small task to work on today - the pottery studio is collecting items so that kids in shelter and transitional or section 8 housing can "shop" for gifts for their moms (and dad's I guess, but it's run by an organization that serves women). Mostly people are donating coffee cups and vases, but Ben said we can bring in anything that is appropriate. I'm going to sort through my costume jewelry. I know I have too much, and I think this will help me part with some. I'm also going to try to look around with intention as I decorate the rest of the house. I'm pretty sure I have some scented candles from student gifts too.

Hello Friends :)

When we got the deed for the house we also signed the papers for the "homesteading act"
so they can NOT touch our home, it's safe.

Medicare is crap, pays for nothing much really
that's why people must buy Medicare supplemental insurance and still pay a LOT out of pocket too.
I can not afford to buy supplemental insurance so I have not bothered to apply for Medicare.
I will be 65 at XMas this year.


I have been very angry too that I could not get surgery.
Spent decades in extreme pain and unable to hold down a job due to the sickness.
I even asked my parents to loan me the money for insurance or the surgery and promised to pay them back soon as I started working again and they refused.
They had millions.

Him being home all the time is a big worry.
I never mentioned before but he drinks heavily now.
Soon as he gets home from work he goes into the garage because he is drinking hard liquor and smoking cigarettes.
He thinks he is hiding his drinking and smoking from me.
I am not stupid.
He is not supposed to because of his health issues but he has become a mean nasty alcoholic.
Now he will probably spend his whole days smoking and drinking out there.
I have no hope that he will do any cleaning or work on the hoard or do any home maintenance.

Being home all the time is not the concern - it's seven days a week of junk hauling that is a concern. If he just stayed home in his garage, he would be ok.

I think if you have a homestead on your house you will be okay. It varies by state but a homestead will keep you from having the debts go against the house. Not sure of laws in NV.

I'm frankly more worried about him being home all the time.

Tillie I will never let you starve. But then again, you'd never let yourself starve. You are too resourceful for that. But if you need me I'm here. Not an issue. No strings.

So, it is not as bad as it could be.

You will not lose your stash (add to it if you can)
You will not lose your house
You may eventually be able to get medical help through Medicare? I don't know how old you are, but you should ask someone about that. It makes me very angry that you can't have your surgery.
The food bank will give you food.
So we just have to worry about your electric, water?, gas?, car expenses, and a few other basic needs.

Also we have to hope that if Steven can't get the medical care he needs he dies before he runs up debt against the house. It would be good if you could get him to sell you his half for $1 to avoid losing it to medical bills. It would protect him too.

Hi Tat

Hi SubC

The house is 100% mine and also 100% his.
Doesn't matter who dies first the house is free and clear still the survivor's.

I have absolutely no medical care.
Back in the late 1980s I became too sick to hold a job because of cysts and tumors around my reproductive organs.
I could not get any medical help because I was not disabled because with surgery I could be cured.
So I was basically told to F off and die B.

Steven and I are both on a bank account.
We both have access to all the funds even if the other dies.
He has put me as beneficiary on his pension.

Plus I have a secret little stash tucked away in a wall safe hidden in the pantry and I have all the keys.

Correct, I am not married and Steven is not married.
If we were married I would be responsible for paying for his medical bills.
I am only responsible for any bills I make. :D

Until the end of this month he is officially on vacation leave because he had the time saved up.

Your post did not sound cold to me at all.
I appreciate plain talk and have a hard time understanding when people are "pussy footing" around.

Tillie this is a terrible shock. This is so awful.